Y’know, women have really deep emotional connections to their panty collections, sometimes. We’ve all got that one pair that just makes us feel so sexy and jazzy. Some of us are even determined to make everything match – the outfit, the shoes… right down to the skivvies.
I see y’all.
Y’all know how I know this? Back in undergrad? I used to work at Victoria’s Secret. I know the emotional attachment women have to their undies. The push-up bras, the (literal) boulder-holders, the women who buy their bras in a certain size because they swear they could never be a size larger than that size… yes, I know all of y’all. I just… I know.
I used to struggle to fit into Vickie’s stuff even though I was, technically, much too large to actually fit it sensibly. To be honest, a lot of things fit me funny back then, so I just assumed it was because of my size and never gave it a passing thought. I had an employee discount and damn it, I was gonna use it.
Needless to say, my collection is extensive. Garters (a personal love of mine), garter belts, hosiery, corsetry (from Frederick’s of Hollywood), push up bras that hoisted my goods up to the high heavens, and my undies? I mean, let’s just say that there very well might be a sailor’s hat in my stash.
I’m just sayin’. The collection is serious business.
Now… there’s a big container rolled so far deep under my bed, just because I cannot bear the pain.
See, when you go through a major weight loss, you realize that all your favorite outfits will have to go away. I mean – we’re not talking about taking it to a tailor. We’re talking… it has to go bye-bye. I mean, I had a pair of favorite jeans, but those jeans were a size 24, though. I could fit my entire body in one leg of those, now.
People prepare you for the “Oh, you’ll have to make adjustments to your wardrobe” thing, but never “Hey, you’re going to have to toss your bras and panties, too!” You don’t get that message!
It was so funny to watch in my progress photos – knowing that I was, for a long time, wearing the same size underwear… and they eventually started fitting more and more differently. Eventually you pick your panties up, place them around your hips and realize that because of the weight you’ve lost, the distance between the top of your booty and the front of your pelvis has shrunk… so now, even though the elastic might still be able to keep them around your waist, the part that covers your goodies? It’s sagging. Thoroughly.
Think about it – you know how your mom always tells you to wear clean underwear? Y’know, just in case you get hit by a car and the ambulance drivers will see your dingy undies? Well… thanks for the insight, Mom, but you could’ve told me about baggy undies, too.
And bras!!!! Awww, man… I used to be a 42DD – do you know what size I am now? Let’s just say… with the way my body lost weight? I’d need something like a negative triple A or something. I no longer have a rack to hoist high to the heavens with a push-up bra.
I mean, let’s be honest, here. In the grand scheme of problems I could have, I’m in a privileged position to be complaining about losing my “drawz” instead of something far more important, but it’s something that people should prepare themselves for.
And while I’m complaining about things that no longer fit the way they used to? Let’s talk about shoes and feet. My feet shrank. In some shoes, the size difference felt like a ton. In others, it was just enough to cause my feet to slide around a bit. But c’mon, man – I love my high heels. Slippage is enough to cause Erika to take a tumble. No thanks.
But really, think about it – if there’s less weight that your feet has to balance, they’ll probably become less wide. If you’ve experienced any kind of spreading, they’ll probably shrink the long way, too. These are things to – unfortunately – consider.
What does this mean for any woman considering major changes to her body? It means that although many of us love to shop and snatch up new things, we need to remember to set aside a few dollars for replacing our favorite silkies…. and maybe a few gel inserts for our favorite shoes as we make our transition.
Me? I’m pretty un-fancy, now. Sports bras and cotton skivvies until I’ve settled on a size – in both the bust and the booty.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to having a pair of lacy size “S” stringy things hiding in this house somewhere, though.
What am I forgetting, y’all? Bras, panties, shoes… what unplanned shrinkage did you experience?