Once upon a time, in a land known as Twitterville, there was an actor named Boris Kodjoe…
Boris Kodjoe caused a stir on Twitter after challenging obese Black women to step up their game and slim down.
The actor got into a bit of trouble over the weekend after telling his 77,700+ followers about a bad dream, tweeting, “Like a baby. Had nightmares though about 300 pound women in thongs gnawing on chicken wings while grinding on me. Scary.”
As soon as it went up on Twitter, he immediately faced criticism from some of his fans. But before the public really went in on him, Boris attempted to put the comments in perspective.
“I love ‘thickness’. And I love a woman who loves herself. And loving yourself is being healthy,” he explained, invoking his wife’s Twitter handle in the argument. “You all know @nicolearip and I are all about health. And we as a community have to be more conscious of our health. The numbers are shocking.”
One of the shockers he posted was that U.S. Department for Minority Health states that four out of five Black women are considered overweight or obese according to the standard Body-Mass Index. For reference, anything over 25 on the BMI scale is considered overweight, and anything over 30 is considered obese. Boris also tweeted that obesity related illnesses are the leading cause of death, and he wants his sisters to be in shape so they can stick around and be good examples for the next generation.
“It’s not about conforming to these ridiculous ‘skinny’ beauty standards in the media, it’s about being healthy so your kids can be healthy,” he stated, pegging poor diet and exercise habits as the main culprits. “No more excuses! High blood pressure and diabetes do not ‘run in your family’. Pork chops, mac n cheese, and tons of soda do! #stopitnow. High blood pressure and Type II diabetes are only 30% from genes and 70% from environmental input, aka bad diet and no exercise.”
Boris even offered some solutions for the aforementioned excuses people give for not getting off their butts to get in shape with the hashtag #FATEXCUSES.
“#FATEXCUSES ‘DON’T HAVE TIME TO EXCERCISE’ If u have time 2 watch ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ u hv time 2 do jumping-jacks n crunches,” he tweeted before suggesting a way to stay focused during a workout. “#FATEXCUSES ‘IT’S SO BORING’ Well, put your iPod on and do the [Dougie], work out with your man, or take a fun class.”
Next he went after the argument that being curvier is more attractive to men, but he explained that not all shapes are created equal, writing, “#FATEXCUSES ‘MEN LIKE THICK GIRLS’ There’s a difference between a healthy and sexy stacked goddess…” (easy Boris!) “…and an unhealthy obese one.”
Lastly, he attacked the eating habits that add to your waistline. In his opinion it’s okay to enjoy a chicken wing every now and then. Ten in one sitting, on the other hand, not so much. “#FATEXCUSES ‘I LIKE FRIED FOODS’ ok, portion control is key,” he tweeted, “U don’t have 2 b a vegan, just take it easy on 2 much fried and processed foods.”
The actor explained that he wasn’t picking on the big girls, but rather speaking to part of the problem that plagues the Black community. And before he signed off for the afternoon, he put all of those issues in perspective in relation to the relatively trivial matters that he thinks get more attention.
“I don’t have time to tweet about which club I got wasted in last night. We got things to do, family. Let’s inspire each other,” he said. “Our kids’ education sucks, our health is poor, our men are in jail, and we r broke, so let’s not talk about Rhianna’s hair color ok?” [source]
Boris Kodjoe caused a stir on Twitter after challenging obese Black women to step up their game and slim down.Don’t get me wrong – I appreciated some of what he tweeted.
…I just reeeeeeeeally would’ve loved it more if it didn’t start all because he was weaseling his way out of tweeting about his “nightmare” about “scary fat women with chicken wings…” ’cause that was ALL about health. Jeez.
Now, can he tweet about whether Undercovers is gonna be on DVD? I liked the showand all, but I’m just trying to get fashion tips from his co-star. She was the most styling-est chick I’ve seen in a long time.
70 comments
I took issue with him and his nightmare. There are lots of issues with obesity in the black community, but cutting down obese black women was his intention. I don’t believe he was having a dream about it at all. And his healthy statitistics were his way of justifying what he said.
He was piling on plan and simple.
Yes! I think that was my main gripe with it all. His 300-lb “nightmare” revelation, being transformed into a lesson? He definitely started off wrong. That’s not how you inspire or plant positive seeds of change, in people. I just think homie was trying to be funny, then had to save face after people were offended – so he Googled some Black people / hypertension stats, lol.
Basically. It was fat-shaming that turned into an after-school special. I mean, c’mon dude. I don’t follow him so I don’t know if this is his modus operandi, but I don’t know how making someone feel like total shit has ever resulted in successful, long-lasting lifestyle changes.
i work two jobs (one full-time 40 hrs w/benefits, the other a part-time gig) and have been doing so for years. I am also working on a Masters in Comunications. My personality is not the best but I try to be encouraging to those I come into contact with on a regular basis (in fact, I don’t have to try, it is my personality). I also have fairly interesitng hobbis although I don’t get to go out much due to time/money constraints right now. I am also a size 12/14… I do intend on getting back to the gym the way I used to once I am done with school. For the meantime though- I am there only a few days per week for about an hour. I find it interesting that people, esp. men say they like when a woman works out and is in shape (because it appears that if you work out but are not “in shape” it does not really count) because it shows she loves herself. So- everything else that I do in life does not reveal that I love and value myself? They can only see that if I work out AND am “in shape”? I am having a little trouble wrapping my head around that… I would appreciate any enlightenment…
Here here!! Amen!! He needs to climb off that pulpit and hang his head in shame. Lol
I can appreciate his honesty. Not too many people will say they had such a nightmare publically. I find those that are deeply offended are the ones that are sitting on the couch. I’m sitting on the couch as well – but this is one man’s opinion who will probably in his lifetime and yours will never meet in person.
If you do meet him don’t curse him out – instead respect his thoughts and keep it moving. I mean when Monique was ranting that skinny B’s were evil we all laughed. Then she got SMART and lost weight. I didn’t see/hear of any skinny chicks giving her hard time.
In short – get over it go to the gym and put the chicken wings down.
“Not too many people will say they had such a nightmare publically. ”
I’m always confused by people who say things like this. I mean, there are particular standards for a reason. If something isn’t generally said publicly, it’s usually for a reason. Sometimes a silly reason, but sometimes a pretty damned substantial one.
“get over it go to the gym and put the chicken wings down.”
Lord… ROFL I give up.
Totally agree Michelle. Brother is human and was just keeping it real. Can’t stand the heat…..stay out of the kitchen! (literally)….and get to the gym…..in short….love yourself inside…….AND OUT!!!!!!!
Well said. What he said is somewhat true. It is time for us black women and men to get healthy minds, bodies and attitudes….
…..and the passive aggressive award of the decade goes to:……
I seriously think this guy was out of line to the max. No, he didn’t have a dream. Yes, his insult turned fake me out “i’m giving you tough love” was a little more than ridiculous.
As far as being mad cause it hits home… Uh… I am big enough to say “yep. I am pissed and insulted that he was talking about me like that.” And just because he had the guts to say it doesn’t mean it’s right. The president of n. Korea has the gut to start a nuc war…. If he decides to launch a bad boy, u gonna post somewhere “not many people have the guts…”?
The point i’m making is, it was said from a nasty place, and then fake me out justified with a health lesson. His intentions from the door were nowhere as good as some of the advice he gave. –that, and he just lost a fat supporter.
Dreaming or awake, how many of us would really want 300 lbs. of someone else on top of us or to carry 300 lbs.? Yes, he did get caught, but you can’t ignore the numbers or the semantics–what is passing for thick is sometimes nothing more than sloppy and overweight.
i think the subtext of his comments was racist against black women and yes, I do see an increase in that among black men nowadays… If a white men said what he said, we would all see his comments for what they are… There are so many black women who ARE in shape, he could have talked about instead. How about bigging up Kelly Rowland’s cover on the current issue of “Shape”? That alone, would have been more inspiring (and classier) than hawling out the old “fried chicken” stereotype. I will not be supporting any of his projects in the future…
I’m not sure I’m offended by this. In fact I’m sure I’m not. It seems people can make light of everything but obesity. We can jest about super skinny women, ugly people (which in itself is subjective), the poor, other minorities, especially in comedy settings. But the minute we bring up fat in any context expect a richard simmons inspired crying session its wrong, mean..etc.
I may not agree with his method but I’m not “offended” per se. In other words I won’t allow his distateful choice of venue and jesting to crawl under my skin like some of his fans apparently did. He’s one man, these are his thoughts, right or wrong.
He may be engaging in fat shaming, but its up to those of us in that boat her referred to to decide whether to allow someone else’s thoughts to put us in a place of shame. The power is ours.
Whatever the intention of the “resulting message” minus the big 300lb women nawing on chicken dream comment…some truths were told about the state of where we are. His approach was wrong but I wouldn’t give power to the ignorance he laced his commentary with. I’d take the substance from it and keep it moving. The rest, like waiste in digestive system I’d deficate out and move on. Its a waste of energy to be mad at someone for the state of mind their in.
Sometimes ignorance is bliss and they have NO interest in being brought to light…lol
Just.. in all fairness, this:
“We can jest about super skinny women”
is something I’ve written against, too. I’m just generally OVER women’s bodies (Black or otherwise) being up for public commentary and discussion. I mean, had we decided to start talking about Black mens’ bodies, this conversation could get really nasty. If it’s Black women being fat because of fried chicken, it’s Black men being fit because there isn’t much else to do in prison. They’re both equally nasty comments, but one is far more “acceptable” than the other for some reason. I’m over it.
Erika! OOOOOHHHH. Now I see what you’re getting at.
Unfortunately that’s the culture. Not saying that in the “Oh Well” sense…not at all. But since I’ve recognized its the culture, one of the things i’ve done to stop breathing life into is get on person’s comment, celeb or not and comment, argue…etc. I do alot of social media networking and that tends to be the topic of conversation. I used to be the big girl trying to “explain” for my fellow sisters, provide the stats, rational…but once I saw this was just “target” ignorance designed to keep perpetuating the fight and distance btwn black men and women and entertain the rest of the world at large…I bowed out.
I started doing EXACTLY what you do here. But alot of women won’t meet this type of ridicule with wise response. They do just what jester want. They react, they get emotional, they get enraged…and they let it “affect” them. I used to let it affect me. I used to let it shame me. Then I realized this is people wowing out and poking fun at another’s struggle for entertainement sake. The reaction they want is the one I was giving them.
Their like mean kids in a classroom publically humiliating another one to get a laugh out of others. Its what sells, what gets the most hits.
And I’m just the type make the same commentary you just made. “Well its easy to be fit when all you do is sit at home all day because you’re too triffling to get a real job, or have a felony and can’t. Or the only reason you work out is because facially unattractive so you have to make some part of your marketable and appealing.
Oooo…I never thought about that… I love you blog by the way…
I really love your blog by the way…keep them coming!
Omg, these rants from black men about how fat black women are slay me. #LOOKBROTHA maybe if black women weren’t so busy not only slaving at their jobs, but slaving after you and your kids, especially if you’re one of the ones responsible for 72% of black children being born to unwed mothers (see, I can whip out statistics too!), they’d have the time and money to buy nice, nutritious ingredients to make nice, nutritious meals instead of being so tired after their 8/12/16hr workday that they order a bucket of chicken instead of having to go slave in the kitchen or so they can use that time they would have spent cooking doing your laundry or helping your kids do their homework. Heck, maybe they could hit the gym instead of hitting the couch for 60min of mindless entertainment in an otherwise tiring, drama-filled day. Maybe you can remember that next time you decide to be a douchebag on twitter.
I think he secretly dislikes bigger people. He has a right to his opinion yes, and I have a right to not like his opinion. lol However I’m sure his original comment was a joke gone bad like the person before me said. That being said I don’t too much care for him or celebrities in general because they are all about their image and that is what helps make them their money. They don’t live in our world, they live in a different world where they don’t have to struggle with how they’re going to get food or where they’re going to live. It’s a lot easier to live a healthy balanced life style when you don’t have to worry about the cost of it. I’m not saying that we can’t do it, it’s just easier when you can buy people to help you out as opposed to doing it by yourself. And if he’s really that concerned about Obesity in the black community maybe he should try getting actively involved with it. But I don’t think he’s all that concerned. Just like we’re not really concerned about him. lol I don’t know why he hating on the chicken wings though, that chicken hasn’t done anything to him. lol
Co-sign with others…..he’s just another fat-o-phobe using distorted statistics and “concern” for health to justify his comments. I wasn’t even bothered by it until he decided to half-azz it with some stats. Which is becoming a pet peeve of mine.
That US Department of Minority Health stat he cited (and others love to reference) isn’t even based on actual statistics, but an article, which was based on an estimate rather than an actual data set. Overweight and obese are being conflated, in this context. The actual CDC data, that I can find and read for myself, specify obesity of black women at around 50%. No reference to overweight, which is an entirely different animal, not as easily calibrated to compromised health, and probably not what most people think of when referring to black women anyway. Also, rates of overweight (according to the BMI) Americans has remained stable over time, according to the CDC. Of course, we’ll never hear about that in mainstream media or discussions.
I don’t think you have to be in denial about disproportional rates of obesity for black women or offended to call a spade a spade. Boris was in CYA mode, plain and simple.
Oh Boris, he like many make the mistake of assuming everyone that is overweight is so out of choice or because they eat unhealthy foods. His argument was lost because he clearly stated without saying so he finds overweight obese black women un attractive hence why the the thought gave him a nightmare. Then he tried to switch it up. Self righteous finger wagging does nothing for your critique or commentary. A size zero which in the UK is size 4 is just not healthy for everyone. He should just chew the fat and let people be. If he wants to educate set up a get fit foundation or do the celebrity and release a dvd. Or follow Jamie Oliver’s attempts to get schools and parents to give kids healthy foods for lunch at school etc
I really hate when people who clearly have a preference for slimmer women try to justify it about talk about health. They know good and damn well it’s an aesthetic preference. I’d rather dude just say he doesn’t like fat women and not try to justify it w/ feigned concern for women’s health. Boris really should’ve just shut up after that dream blunder.
I completely agree. I would respect Boris (and any man for that matter) who can be real enough to say that they don’t prefer big women instead of trying to indirectly voice their preference. On the other hand, we as adults have to be mature enough to respect such opinions even if we don’t agree. The bottom line of that all of us have preferences with respect to a potential mate and no one has the right to tell us that we’re wrong if they don’t like them. My only issue with Boris’ tweet is that he did not have to be insulting in voicing his preference. I don’t really care that he prefers small women.
*try to justify it with talk about health*
I guess I’m still trying to understand how his first comment- “nightmare=fat woman in thong with chicken wing” lead to BLACK people/women/community issues. Was the woman in his “nightmare” black or is black women shaming a default now?
It’s one thing to shame and then try to cover it up with feigned “concern,” but it’s a whole other topic to front “the” black community in the process. Not saying that the black community is a sacred cow, but to use it like that shows insincerity on both obesity issues and general concern for black people. It’s a very sad day when the real issues of black women become that Captain Save-A-Face for verbal shenanigans on twitter.
I think the the thing kills me is that the target almost always seems to be black women.
Have people actually looked up the stats on obesity. The percentage of fat black men is almost just as high!
Yet the main focus is always the black women.
Its not a concern about health or else the message would be spread to both men and women, it is an issue of vanity.
But definitely dont give anyone more fuel to the fire by becoming outraged. Just keep on doing your thing and make improvements in your life if necessary.
…and, if his comments disappoint you, decide whether or not you want to support someone like that financially. *sweet smile*
Good point
Yessssssssss! That’s why he switched it up so fast and feigned concern about Black women’s health. He knew us fat girls were gonna come for that pocketbook.
I’ve had a similar nightmare about a 20 year old crush that I ran into late Spring at a class reunion. He used to be a breakdancer, Navy ROTC, track, etc… When he entered a room, the air left for me. Alas, I was too young, and too “inexperienced” to be more than a “little sister”. Well…. Time has not been kind to him. 20 years of life have added about 120lbs of gut and flab not to mention the chain smoking, heavy drinking, 2 marriages, and 3 kids and delusional remnants of “Mr. MackDaddy used-ta-be”. So that “what-if” daydreaming was replaced by a living nightmare when he made a pass at me to quote “Finally make my dreams come true..”! I guess if I don’t want a 300+lbs greasy obese man grinding on me, then why would Boris?
Boris said something rude. 2 years ago I was that 300+lbs woman gnawing on fried chicken wings, chicken thighs, fried catfish, fried battered butter if I could’ve found it… I’m not there now and his comments don’t apply to me. I’ve heard worst from co-workers and family when I was larger, so a stranger’s comments are like yesterday’s newspaper: something to help me pick up my dog’s poop.
girl you killed me with that dog poop comment !! lol
That tweet was “Just Mean”. It was mean spirited. It gets meaner when you mix sex up with weight issues. We face enough rejection without having to be in someone’s nightmare. It doesn’t sit well me at ALL!
I prefer to get my information from a beautiful spirited person like the moderator of this blog. Who says/writes/tweets messages strongly and really has our health and best intentions at heart.
For me, there is a disconnect between his original comments about his ‘nightmare’ and then his follow up ones.
You know, as a community we have issues, and I personally welcome people bringing them up because it opens discourse. (eg incarceration rates, unwed mothers, obesity etc ) Buuuut I have a problem in *this scenario* because I don’t feel like it was coming from a place of love and concern.
I feel like he was trying to be funny, it backfired , then he started on the preaching/statistic bandwagon to defend himself.
I read this over the weekend and I agree with you that he had an important message but it came out because of his negative statement that he made originally. But in reality he was being very honest about and maybe we should see the good out of these tweets and move forward.
I’m not necessarily offended by what Boris said, but I’m a firm believer in the concept “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it”. If Boris’ comments were truly meant to uplift and encourage black women to get healthy, he could have left the crude joke out of it. The fact that he felt the need to insult obese women suggests that it was intention from the beginning which is not cool.
Those “stats” aren’t gender specific….so why not call out black men as well as black women? That’s what really made me salty. I already know plenty of men like Boris think that way about black women.
He definitely killed my crush, but it’s not like he actually cares anyway. Meh.
What bothered me is that he went after black women and today it seems that everybody goes after black women. Black women have become the butt of whatever sick joke someone decides to tell.
Wow…what he said (minus the dream) resonated with me. I do make excuses as to why I can’t work out. I’d rather watch Born to Dance or Tia and Tamera or play on Facebook rather than get some good exercise in. We do need to be healthier. We all have the tools necessary to get into shape. The question, in my opinion is: do we want to put the work in? I will answer that for myself. No, I don’t. But I want to be healthier happier and in better shape. I seee in some amazing way a more fit woman under the extra fat. And I hope with every thing in me that I will get some willpower (or whatever one may call it) in me to start ASAP.
He has the right to say what he wants – and we have the right to make sure nothing he is in ever does well, regardless of the fact that we all need to get healthy.
Its ok for black woment to protect ourselves – yes even form black men. We are number 1 and when it comes to what we eat and exercise routines we need to remember that. We also need to remember that when we have some of those 72% out of wedlock births, or let brothers live with us who arent working, or work at easy jobs instead of getting training and education for better ones.
If you put your self last in anyway, others pick up on it and treat you the same way.
I believe that Boris remarks were evil and shaming toward all woman. Fat/skinny and otherwise. I know there are lots of people that won’t take this type of thing serious and move on in life, but I think of the people that struggle with their appearance and have self esteem issues due to weight and although they may be working on it, they have to face ignorant individuals that think their better than someone to act as the obesity doctor for all of black america. His comment has a twinge of deep seeding hate toward women he believes are less than human due to their weight. Lets face it, weight is mental, physical and emotional lifestyle which takes lots work and effort to change and his comments does not help positively uplift women who are obese. I agree, that obesity is an issue in the US, but I found his way of trying to cover up his ignorant statement by stating facts just does not register.
I also do not believe that one has be one of the couch sitters in order to be offended by this statement. There are plenty of hardworking healthy women just as myself that are offended and will not tolerate comments such as this. He just lost a fan in me and I will not be spending money on any of his projects.
I am a black girl myself. I am twenty years and I am in pretty good shape. I’m 5’2 and 111 pounds and I most definitely agree with Boris. He should have left the dream out though. I don’t know why he thought that was funny. But black women are huge these days! If you go in Walmart and look around, the black women and young black girls are either overweight or obese. What’s even more funny is that’s there not even buying healthy food. They buy chips, pizza, and other unhealthy bullshit. Fat does not look good. We as black women already take a lot of bullsh-t. We need to get our act together and lose weight. F— you weave and your nails. If your body is not in shape, then how do you expect the weave and nails to make you look even better? These women who are calling themselves thick need a serious reality check. How can you not tell the difference between fat and thick. Stop being in denial and lose weight. Enough said.
Cindy,
You made some good points about black women and their eating habits. I fully understand that if you ask most women, black or otherwise, why they want to lose weight the vast majority will say they want to look better. Now that’s not wrong, but I feel that this is the reason why so many people try and fail at losing weight (myself included). People need to start making health a priority instead of appearance. The way I see it, losing weight for health will pay off more much more than losing for appearance. On the other hand, I don’t believe that overweight women should just lock themselves up and not do things to make themselves feel beautiful because they are overweight either. I have to respectfully disagree with your comment that overweight women shouldn’t do things such as getting their hair and nails done. For any weight loss attempt to be successful, women have to love themselves the way they are now, that way when the weight comes off they will love themselves that much more.
I must say it’s about priorities. Is the most important aspect of your life the easy external fixes (masks). Or, is it more important for you to become healthy and fit. Yes hair and nails are fine as long as it doesn’t interfere with a healthy life style (if that’s your priority). I’m so sick of all the excuses. My job requires me to see folks every workday dealing with disabilities and I must, say the vast majority of the medical issues folks have are in their control. Now am I saying is a quick and easy fix?….heck naw! It’s work and it takes time! I know now a days that’s part of the problem…everyone wants it yesterday, painless and easy. We have to wake up to the fact that being healthy for the long term is not a short race. Generations ago people had to move more and cook from scratch…there was no unlimited tv/movies etc. (tv actually went off the air). In the past physical activity was a given. Today we don’t have to get up to do much of anything so it’s imperative that we exercise and eat healthy. I know it may just be me but I’m so sick of hearing excuses and how it’s everyone’s fault but your own. Negativity is not necessary but reality is! Don’t confuse someone being real with negativity. The first part of his comment could be taken negatively…and yes he did try to clean it up with a reality spin. Boris at the end of the day is unimportant…what’s important are our priorities. No Excuses.
Obesity and weight loss is about priorities.
Boris Kodjoe’s problem is his obvious lack of respect.
You people who think “tough love” is so necessary… are you people so “tough love”ish when the issues involve Black men? Or do we just think that, because Black women are “so strong,” they should be able to take anyone talking to them any old kind of way?
As if fat black women don’t have more things to worry about than they opinion of a D-List actor. Yeah he’ll really motivate them to do what is right for the black community. A part of me can’t wait for the majority of black women to get healthy and fit then proceed to tell everyone to kiss their skinny behinds. Yet that would be giving someone else too much power. If black women are going to be healthy it should not be on some save the future of the black community mantra, for once it has to be selfish. Hate to say it that way; it don’t believe it will work or last if they don’t do it for themselves. Yes black women even you deserve health and happiness, no strings or anyone else attached to it!!
Erika I have to say I agree with you regarding his lac of respect. I was at a park in Manhatten Beach CA, and saw him one morning with his children. He was so unfriendly. He seemed to have an arrogant, don’t approach me attitude, not that I would have in the first place. I was there to run my stairs and keep it pushin. So many black men fail to realize how their negative comments have shaped how the world views black women. It’s ok to belittle us and when you want our money to watch a movie or show, you then make it seem as if you care about our “Health” so hypocritical!
I’m almost willing to bet that after the first tweet the rest were done by a PR person. The first tweet was obviously centered on the undesireableness to him of fat women. That’s all, it had nothing to do with health, and everything to do with beauty standards and sexiness. Otherwise, wouldn’t his nightmare have been of women close to him dying in their 40s of obesity-related health scares?
And even the rest of the tweets were standard “no excuses” straw men arguments.
I agree about the support financially….that’s how you “gut punch” people!
He can kiss my behind! Im just sick of all the ignorant statements and attitudes about black woman and obesity…Let me tell you something…I used to be a full-figured model…Im 5″7.5″ I wear a size 18-20…I weight 288lbs..I do martial arts …I just earned my brown belt in Tae Kwon Do…I work out 6 days a week! Tues Tae Kwon Do, Wed Pilates Weights and Cardio, Thurs Kickboxing, Fri Tae Kwon Do, Saturday Pilates, Sunday Pilates and Strength Training…Monday BIBLE STUDY! I still weigh 288….My best friend…runs 13k marathons and is still a full figured sister…she hasn’t lost much weight either…So can someone explain it to me???? I recently went to see an holistic doctor who broke it down for me…and told me two things…1. i was insulin resistant and 2. I had candida (fungus in the body from sugar…starts in the gut which can cause sugar and alcohol craving…which perpetuates weight gain) He recommended coming off the carbs and sugar, a good probiotic, 100 oz of water a day in addition to keeping up my exercise routine… Im offended by his comment and Im tired of black men hating us!!!! He needs a wake up call his worst night mare might not be a 300lb woman eating a chicken bone but 288lb woman with a black belt in tae kwon do!
I love this comment!!!
He spoke the truth. Our health is an issue and it is our responsibility to get it together. He was a little abrasive with his comments, but lets be real, the man is not lying. We have to be healthy for our families and our future. There is really nothing more to say about it. The truth can be hard to stomach, but its definitely constant.
Abrasive “truth telling,” though it may be “truth telling,” is still “abrasive” and we, as human beings, deserve more than that. If you don’t think we deserve tact as a bare minimum, then I don’t know what to say.
There is this thing called TACT and in some cases it is a must have…When you are a public figure attempting to have a positive image, it is important to have filters. What he said was just plain MEAN!!! I wonder if he was “FAT” would he have made that comment? Perspective and empathy are two very important character traits to have. Do not get me wrong, we are all entitled to our opinions, but be sure that what you allow to come out of your mouth is something you are willing to endorse…NO MATTER WHAT! On the other hand…if I had to play “the devil’s advocate”, I would like to say that it is nice to know how people really feel. Won’t be buying my husband any of those tailor made suits, shirts or jean.!!! HUM!
Bonita, I agree with you. I am having a problem with the shoot-the- messenger tone of some of the comments. We might not like how he said what he said, but the fact remains that it was the truth! As a group our food choices are horrible and are making us sick and vulnerable and/or victim to all kinds of health issues. I have long found it disturbing that many of us seem to care more about our hair and nails than what we do about what we are putting in our mouths. Not all of us, but many of us. Many of us won’t exercise for fear of messing up our hair! What kind of logic is that? I’ve always believed that — God forbid — we found ourselves in a situation where we had to swim or die. Most of us would be dead in the water!
“We might not like how he said what he said, ”
Actually, that’s the entire point.
And, contrary to popular belief, you *don’t* have to listen to everything someone says to you regardless of how it’s said. That’s abusive, and I like to advocate for women – especially black ones – standing up for themselves and asking to be talked to like human beings.
Regardless of “our food choices” (whose?) or “our hair” (which, contrary to popular belief, is a legitimate concern since most companies consider non-straightened hair unprofessional), you don’t have to talk to me like I don’t have feelings. I’ve been doing this for a while, and I can tell you – no one’s sense of change comes from being told they’re nothing over and over and over again.
If you take what he said/did as anything more than him covering his ass from an otherwise cruel tirade, then I’ve got a bridge out in Brooklyn to sell you.
All of this, yet he became famous for his role on a show called SOUL FOOD that certainly included “pork chops, mac n cheese, and tons of soda.”
Who does he really think watched Soul Food, or Madea’s Family Reunion, or The Gospel (bleh)? Black women! And GASP! some of those black women paying at the ticket counters and ordering Showtime were overweight.
Celebrities keep showing us who they really are – we need to believe them. Health issues aside, he obviously doesn’t like 300 pound women that like chicken wings…or overweight women. Sooooo, the next movie/show that features Mr. Kodjoe (whenever that is) should not have a single fat black chick in the audience.
My two cents…Boris knows a lot of black women (i am not one) swoon over him daily. (enter devil’s advocate) What if he thought he could jump start a lot of women’s journey towards health and fitness? I’m not at all saying this is his place and we all need to recognize our lane and stay in it but he could have actually been trying to do good. We all know intentions are not enough nor or they excuses for hurtful comments but I have to believe some women read that and thought “let me get myself together so I an increase my chances of snagging Boris”. Of course she is delusional but isn’t she also delusional when she fails to workout or consider her food intake and thinks she just “thick”. All I’m saying is cut the brother some slack because there is a lot of work to be done and thus far the clean, neat and nice messages haven’t gone over too well.
No.
For crying out loud, have some standards.
No person who loves or respects you makes a public mockery of you and expects you to still look at them lovingly. We’d call that ABUSE.
No person who has a fan base that keeps money in their pockets goes out and berates their fan base, only to expect them to stay loyal in the end. Let me know when you see George Clooney shitting on the women who keep him one of the highest-paid actors in Hollywood.
If I started berating my readership, calling them fat and miserable slobs, calling them lazy disgusting filth… do you think they’d stick around? Or would you expect them to berate ME, in response, and immediately cease in supporting me? Even if I truly felt that way, does that even remotely sound like solid business practice?
I’m sorry. Have some standards. Hell, I’ll give you some of mine. No person who continues participation in an abusive relationship has healthy self-esteem. And no person who berates their fan base, their SUPPORTERS, cares enough about either his fans OR his wallet has the sense God gave them.
Damn.
We, as black women try to spin comments such as this positively when our own try to shame us. We give them a pass thinking they are looking out for our best interest. When in reality, the comments that were made were ugly, hurtful and downright disrespectful. If you had a nightmare, fine. I get it. But, don’t put out a PSA on how you think women should get healthy by so-called tough love. Yes, I took offense to it, because those comments came from a place of malice. You’re not looking out for my health or my well being, for that matter. Instead, you’re placing your preferences on the backs of obese black women and using stereotypes to substantiate your comments. I don’t think I’ll be supporting his efforts any longer. Or, will I listen to those who feel his comments were positive. I know when I’ve been insulted. Fat, thick or otherwise.
Boris is extremely rude/arrogant!!!! Perhaps he need a slice of humble pie…..
I know I’m a little late to this party as I just learned about the comments Mr. K made two years ago…today. But I’ve never been a fan of his, regardless of how “fine” he may be. He’s a mediocre, dull, and boring “actor” who should stick to doing just that…being a mediocre, dull and boring “actor”. And if I could be so bold, I’m surprised he even had a dream about women, in the first place. I think had these 300 pounders in his dream which scared him soooo much had been eating kielbasas or frankfurters instead of fried chicken wings, he probably wouldn’t have been so disgusted. In fact, he probably would’ve tried to partake in the fun. Feel free to draw your own conclusions.
Dear Boris,
Get off of Twitter. It’s not your calling Boo. Concentrate on acting and being a responsible husband and father.
Signed,
Everyone
WOW. To me, this is just another one of his latest “fat” rants and his lame attempt to cover it up. Sometime last year he stated that gaining weight in a marriage unacceptable. He concerns me. 🙂
Even if what he says (his latest rant) makes sense to some degree, that doesn’t inspire me to exercise more and become more healthier. He needs to learn how to phrase things in a proper way instead of sharing his “fat women and chicken wings” nightmares and posting them on Twitter.
I am about health also yet, did he have say it like that? It is obvious by his comments that black women who are obese are unattractive to him. Lets be real it’s not about health especially when his dream was sexual.
What disturbs me is men in general feeling they have a right to comment or advise you and belittle. Where does he get off? Or any man in general? As Kelly Rowland said he isn’t all that.
Just because he is all about health does that mean it give him the right to belittle women who are struggling with liking and loving themselves. Woman who don’t think they deserve a better life. They go through enough abuse why inflict more pain. There is a way to reach people and this isn’t it.
I agree with the commenters who say that this was phony concern to cover his ass BUT whatever his motives I’m still glad it was said….My mother in law is 5 foot 3 and weighs 160 pounds is prediabetic and insists it runs in her even though everything on her plate are mountains of beige stuff and she puts white sugar and mrs butterworth in fruit smoothies. Most obese black Americans are this way bc we have an unhealthy and overly emotional relationship with food and nobody addresses it bc we don’t want our feelings hurt we don’t want to get out of our comfort zone and some of us. think that most men like. it….Well not add. ress. ing. it and never saying no is what cost a few of my family members their life
I was trying to say in my last post. That not wanting to offend my loved ones or say no to them cost them their lives…..Then people say things like drug addicts and alcoholics don’t get treated this way by society and that’s far from true. Alkies and junkies are berated and scolded for. Their actions as they should be if you want to save them
“Alkies and junkies are berated and scolded for.”
Addicts are most certainly not scolded during their rehabilitation, and most successful rehabilitation facilities approach the subject with compassion.
Listen – everything ain’t everyone’s ministry. If you are incapable of expressing concern to someone in a compassionate fashion, then maybe it ain’t your thing. But you don’t get to talk down to someone or “scold” or shame or treat them harshly because of their behavior. The likelihood that long lasting, permanent change comes from someone being scolded or shamed… is nil. Just saying.
When I said berate and scold I was not referring to professional rehab clinics but the addicts families and inner circles. I never see anyone. On that show baby talk or placate their addicted loved ones or telling them what they want to hear…..Also if I didn’t keep listening to my grandma telling me I was thick etc I may have been motivated to be in shape as a child or teen. And would not have waited until my late 20s. I agree with you that the thong chicken wing comment was unnessascary and douchey but from my own personal and 2 hand experience we are collectively pass the point of sparing feelings….Obese women in my family and family friends ask me how I lost 70 pounds in 9 months and kept it off for a year. All I ever get to say is I reduced my red meat and sugar then I’m cut off and told they can’t do it…I explain to one my grandma who is 224 pounds and wants to be 180. Pounds that if she stops eating dessert for breakfast stops drinking diet cola and juice cocktail and stops stocking up on processed meats she will lose like 30 pounds……She proceeds to ignore my polite and compassionate advice and blames her steady weight gain on RA meds….This is why it sounds like I have no patience. But I still appreciate your blog and am glad I found it and admire your patience on this matter bc I think I’m all out
“On that show baby talk or placate their addicted loved ones or telling them what they want to hear”
It’s a TV show. That’s not real life.
In real life, successful efforts to connect with people on an emotional level – like concern – don’t come from berating them. I JUST received an e-mail from a woman who said her family is downright cruel to her – just the other day, she lost her phone, and her father (HER FATHER!) said to her, “If it were food, I bet you could find it.”
That woman feels about as tall as an ant right now.
There is a difference between telling people what they want to hear, and talking to them like human beings who will eventually still be alive AFTER the weight matter is settled. These are people with human emotions and feelings, and they deserve to be respected.
And, again, “respecting” them doesn’t mean telling them what they want to hear. It’s talking to them like human beings. You really need to consider the difference between the two.
Sorry I can’t type well on this stupid phone I was referencing the show intervention but that did not show up…..I will continue correspondence when I’m at my desktop on Monday
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