Home Beauty The Kickstarter That Wants You To Fund Fat-Shaming

The Kickstarter That Wants You To Fund Fat-Shaming

by Erika Nicole Kendall

Y’all know me.

I don’t pull any punches.

This woman’s an id–let me be nice:

Its undeniable that when we stand a skinny, athletic or even average sized female next to a larger (even if less healthy, overweight or obese) female, that unless we live outside of this stigma, we as Americans will assume that the heavier person is funnier, smarter, nicer, and less sexually promiscuous, all because she is not as thin or physically fit than the girl next to her.


“I’m sorry the butt I work for isn’t as good as the one you ate for,” because apparently the average cheeto booty is better than a fit booty? I just… what is this supposed to mean? Don’t get on the Internet trying to slander if you can’t even get your slander straight.

The premise of the book is not to bash or assault any single body type, quite the opposite. I want to share the stories of women who have dealt with this discriminatory action.

Why should a woman have to apologize for wanting to be fit?
Why should a woman have to apologize because she likes to run? or eat healthy? or just has the metabolism that is geared to keep weight at bay?

There are millions of women out there and im sure you know at least one looking for a voice , not from tvs and magazines, not from victorias secret.. but from the ground level , to speak up and tell them that its okay to want to be in better shape.

It doesn’t make you stupid or shallow or un-motherly or bad person to want to take care of your body.

No, my dear, it certainly doesn’t make you stupid, shallow, or selfish (un-motherly?) to want to be fit.

It does, in fact, make you an asshole when you have to make this proclamation by making statements like the following:

Collection of images of women standing up against a society that protects fat culture while bastardizing thin and athletic women.

In what culture are thin and athletic women bastardized?

Am I missing something?

Like, America, right?

It’s one thing to say that society tries to erase the womanliness or “femininity” of any woman who chooses to lift weights instead of merely satisfying their desire to see women in the cardio section, only. I mean, really, “thin” and “athletic” are two wholly different creatures, and while “thin” always gets its praise, “athletic” has caveats, and if you cross the wrong fine line, you’re “a man.” You “can’t have a six-pack” because those are for men. You can’t have finely chiseled arms, because those are for men. (Clearly, I’m projecting, right now.)

It’s one thing to say that society demeans thin women by barking at them how they’re in dire need of a sandwich. It’s a third thing to complain that accommodations like vanity sizing make it hard for people who want to be in shape to actually stay in shape.

Hell, I’ll even double down – it’s a fourth thing to say that society sends mixed messages to women about their bodies – be supermodel thin, but not even the supermodel-thin supermodels are allowed to freely admit what they do to say so thin. How many Esquire and GQ mag articles with thin actresses and models include some anecdote about the subject sitting with the writer, scarfing down a triple cheeseburger?

It is another thing, entirely, to feel like you need to prop yourself at the expense of other women… or, hell, people in general.

If you think this country, who shames fat people and believes they are undateable, unmateable, unworthy of acknowledgement or humanity, incapable of doing their jobs, unworthy of employment (or advancement in their own current place of employment… y’know, where people can watch them every day and see how capable they are), unintelligent, incapable of caring for themselves (why else would you be so fat?), incapable of self-love, unworthy of self-esteem (how dare a fat chick be proud of herself? she’s fat!!!111ONE), and only deserving of the most cruel and most harshest treatment, only to be praised if and only if they’re losing the weight…

…if you think this country, after all that, is celebrating obesity and propping the overweight population upon a pedestal… I need to come kick it where you live, and grab a bag of chips, girl.

Now, before you tell me how I’m overreacting, and how Delizia actually has a point… let’s be clear. I see my fair share of size-shaming all over the place. “No man wants a bone… bones are for dogs” or however that foolishness goes… that’s something even I’ve started hearing as people hear where I’m going and what I’m doing. “Oh, you’re trying to look like those white girls. You think you bad or something, huh?”


Believe it or not, that’s really not about “glorifying obesity.” It’s the exact same thing she’s doing… it’s just coming from the other side of the spectrum. And, instead of fighting against size-shaming and society’s pre-occupation with finding it acceptable to tell women what their bodies should look/feel like, she’d rather practice a creepy form of one-upmanship. On someone else’s dime. And then charge $50 “un-personalized” (fifty!!!!!) retail for it. Chile… if I have a hard time paying Thomas Keller $50, I’m certainly not paying for fat-shaming.

From her profile:

As a mom , it just terrifies me that there are little girls out there, who, instead of being told they can look like a disney princess AND be smart, and well educated , they are told that its either or.

No child should be taught that being healthy , or active, or pretty , means your dirty, or dumb.

Delizia, who is not the woman in the picture above, who also wrote a blog post on what appears to be her blog about how fat and ugly strippers are the reason why the pretty/classy strippers are breaking the “no sex in the champagne room” rule, could’ve turned this into an epic opportunity to crowdsource a “stop judging women’s bodies” campaign. She didn’t. And now, I haz a sad. A big one. Because even though she has a point – no woman should be told they can only choose between being pretty and being smart, and being pretty doesn’t mean you’re dirty, loose, or un-smart – she’s attacking it the wrong way… and getting publicity for it. The answer isn’t to say “No, BEING THIN IS OKAY! ITS THE FATTIES THAT ARE THE PROBLEM!” The answer is “stop judging women’s bodies!”

All I can say, is that I hope, as her Kickstarter progresses, that she truly re-thinks her approach. But, if not, I just hope it crashes into a fiery uninhabited island, Lost-style.

That’s all I got.

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Cole December 18, 2012 - 10:53 AM

Thomas Keller for $50? Was there a sale? If so where was I? :-p

Goldeelocks December 18, 2012 - 5:49 PM

Very interesting. Hopefully a better approach is in route.

tabbitha December 19, 2012 - 1:22 PM

Sooo. I read the kickstarter but the light bulb aint coming on..probably cause it dont make a drop of sense. Why people gotta make a cause out of everything.???

Four words: Just go do you…

kami December 25, 2012 - 11:58 AM

America praises people and animals for being ( skinny) slim, fit and healthy. When it comes to fat people the majority of them are tortured to feel bad. It seems as if she is fighting ignorance with more ignorance. She accuses people of making the “fit” people feel bad so then she resorts to putting down the out of shape or overweight person. This does not make sense or solve the issue.

Dana January 24, 2013 - 9:17 PM

There should be some civil parameters in place on sites like Kickstarter. No one should be allowed to denigrate another people group, especially in such a severely misinformed fashion as this, and attempt to raise funds on Kickstarter. While telling young women they can be smart and fit is wonderful, any mother whose objective is to tell their daughter that “looking like Barbie” is a reasonable life goal has some serious issues with body image dysmorphia and is herself deceived. Barbie??? As a anatomical benchmark??? Open more anorexia/bulemia recovery facilities now…we’ll need them.

Lee January 24, 2013 - 9:28 PM

0_o she can’t be serious? She needs a juice box and a time out for those comments she made.smh.

The Mighty Quinn January 24, 2013 - 10:17 PM

The funny thing here is I have a very healthy self esteem and it is torture going to gym now that I live in LA and feel like everybody is staring. Of course my old trainer back in NYC, say EFF those people. I have been known to step out in outrageous fashion and hairdos so being stared out in a realm I am comfortable with is ok, but a gym where you must be present in your body, makes me feel vulnerable. I will bore you with this theory of mine, why fat people don’t do gyms another time. I just read a article where a well known doctor thinks this is acceptable. All I can think of is obesity will get worse if for anything, fat people will be discriminated against in the workplace and will retreat to the nearest cave never to be heard from again. I know that is a bit dramatic, but this is so wrong on so many levels. I am working to lose weight but at the end of my journey, the best I could ever hope for would be a 12/14 with my height and bone structure. And THAT is still fat.

Jasmine Rozier March 26, 2013 - 1:34 PM

I think what she was attempting to say is that over weight people get sympathy for being over weight and in some cases it is true. She was also saying that phrases like “skinny bitch” are making it seem as though being fit and thin is a negative thing.

I think she didn’t explain herself well and I get where she was attempting to go but because she didn’t make it, I give her a “fail, trying again” on that. I was overweight as a teen, all through high school. I graduated and changed my life, point blank period and yes some people call me what they want but that happens to everyone no matter who you are.

This kickstarter is point less. She wants accolades for being thin and wants people to stop making it seem like being fit and thin is a bad thing… Who ACTUALLY thinks that? People say a lot of things about fit people because they have an idea of what they want to be in their head and that isn’t it. Her perception of what is actually happening and what is actually happening to her are mushed.

She has negativity around her and maybe some of the fit people that she knows but I would like to point this out. They have fitness mags all over, when was the last time you saw a “Be fat and happy” magazine cover?… NEVER.

She needs to have a seat and look inside herself to figure out somethings. This was the wrong way to go about all of what she was attempting to accomplish.

Piper Maria Davenport April 19, 2013 - 3:36 PM

Yes, I can and should lose weight? Can this woman lose ugly? Some, not all, thin people can’t get rid of the ugly, both inside and out, this woman included. When I figure out why she’s so desperate for attention, and actually give a damn, maybe I’ll post my own sign:

I’m Fat.Not by Choice. Until I Discovered this Blog. I was in “hell” and Erika saved me, I’m forever grateful.


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