Home About The Site A Moment of Silence

A Moment of Silence

by Erika Nicole Kendall

BGG2WL fam, today will serve as a moment of silence for the loss of my dear friend, Crystal Davis. She passed away at age 32, leaving behind two beautiful girls both under the age of 4, one of whom she just gave birth to a few months ago.

Please, please tell your loved ones that they are appreciated, and do it often.

Please also keep her children, family and loved ones in your thoughts during this holiday season. There’s never a “right time” to lose a loved one, but the holidays seem to make it especially difficult.

Lastly, I strongly urge all of you to consider donating bone marrow. Cryssy, as she was lovingly known, succumbed to sickle cell anemia which can be cured by bone marrow transplants. The likelihood of being able to lessen someone else’s suffering increases with every new person who registers to be a donor, so please read up and consider registering. Apparently only 1 in every 540 registrants goes on to donate marrow, but those numbers are skewed for us because the need for African American donors is great.

My soul is completely crushed, you guys. I’m doing my best to keep it together, because I know that’s what Cryssy would want. She is a part of this community, has supported BGG2WL since the very beginning and I credit her support – among others of you – for what we are able to accomplish today. In her name, take a few moments today to dust that shit off your shoulders, shake your head one good time to get rid of all that negativity, and life your life to the fullest. That is my last image of Cryssy, and that is what she left all of us with. I know she’d love to leave it to you, as well.

The only thing keeping me from breaking down right now is the thought of planning a bone marrow drive in her honor. If any of you have any advice, tips, resources or anything, please leave it in the comments. Crying helps, but I feel better when I can do something.. anything.

Take care of yourselves, family. I need to go do the same. I love y’all.

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42 comments

Ky G December 16, 2011 - 10:53 AM

My condolences Erika!

My prayers go out to all of her friends, family, significant other and most importantly, those 2 babies.

Melissa December 16, 2011 - 11:03 AM

I am so very sorry for your loss and pray for a peaceful heart, mind and soul for you and her family during this time. I pray for that your tears and cries turn into smiles and laughter as you celebrate her. Know as long as your heart carries her, she’s righ there.

I’m a believer that if you have something to give, give freely. This includes blood, bone marrow and whatever else you can. I’m a registered “Be The Match” person and will take this story for the chance to push others to do so. Especially among African Americans and as a the primary carriers of the sickle cell trait (including me).

Tachae December 16, 2011 - 11:11 AM

Very sorry for your loss. I’ve lost an aunt to this as well.

milaxx December 16, 2011 - 11:28 AM

So sorry for the lost of your friend. My sincere condolences to you and her family.

Crystal M. December 16, 2011 - 11:33 AM

Hello, Erika

I’ve never commented before but I am a frequent and faithful reader of your articles. I decided to comment today because I know exactly what you are going through because I too have lost a friend, my best friend of 19yrs to sickle cell 8 months ago. Every day I miss her and some days I still find myself hearing her voice and feeling her presence. I would love to participate in your up and coming bone marrow drive. I am a south Floridian, I reside West Palm Beach area. The time will come for all of us but if we can do the smallest thing to help someone else just once, I’d love to be a part of it as well. Again, sorry for your loss.

Chiwunma December 16, 2011 - 11:39 AM

it is well dear! The Lord will see you through…may He alone grant her family total and absolute comfort to bear this loss. do keep it together ok? *hugs^

Dawn A. December 16, 2011 - 11:48 AM

I am very sorry for your loss Erika. Both the hubs and I are fighting colds right now, but once we shake it, we will both go to see if we can become donors.

Lauren (PB&G) December 16, 2011 - 12:21 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

Annette December 16, 2011 - 12:35 PM

I am so sorry. We lost a daughter to this in 2008 and it didn’t have to happen. My thoughts are with you and her family. Take care

Donald December 16, 2011 - 1:04 PM

E, I’m still in shock as well…this is very unreal, as Cryssy was someone who touched all of us in a great way. She will be missed dearly, and that’s putting it lightly. This post was needed, and I thank you for it.

Rae @ Rainbows and Dragonflies December 16, 2011 - 1:05 PM

My condolences on your loss. 🙁 I lost an LB five years ago to Sickle Cell.

Miss B December 16, 2011 - 1:34 PM

I’m very sorry for your loss. I am on the bone marrow list but I was not a match for my sister who lost her Sickle Cell battle at age 38 in March, 2006. For all of those that read this–GET TESTED to see if you have the trait. If two partners have the trait, you have a 1 in 4 chance of your child being born with sickle cell.

Eva December 16, 2011 - 1:46 PM

Erika: I am so sorry for your loss.

angela December 16, 2011 - 2:33 PM

Contact your local Sickle Cell Disease Association. Also the national bone marrow registry has an African American focus drive and plenty of resources.

Also encourage all of your friends to get tested! They did not start testing all babies, even of color until the 80s. Plenty of our peers don’t know their status. As a carrier I last year in honor of the 25th Anniversary of my Mom’s death (she had Sickle Cell) asked my friends to get tested. 4 had the trait and two were married to each other.

I will miss her dearly. I will pray for her daughters. This hits so close to home for me I am still not really able to be coherent in my thoughts.

843Joy919 December 16, 2011 - 2:36 PM

I’ve never commented either, but I felt I had to say something today. I am so sorry for you loss. I’ve never thought about donating bone marrow, but in your friend’s name, I will do so. I never knew that sickle cell anemia could be cured just by being a bone marrow donor. I don’t even know if I have the trait, but as someone suggested above, I will find out. It’s important to know, especially within our community.

It’s obvious your friend is very special. Look at the love she is continuing to spread through you and all of us who are taking steps to become donors. RIP Crystal.

Kelly December 16, 2011 - 2:51 PM

My thoughts and prayers for this young woman’s family and friends, especially her young daughters. You are so right Ericka, there is never a good time to lose a loved one, but the holidays make it just a bit tougher. I am still “going through” after losing my Mother to cancer two years ago right before Thanksgiving, so I understand. Two years and counting, I am stepping up my game by eating right, going down the scale and living life to the fullest like she would want me to. Right on for saying we need to knock this “ish” off our shoulders, stop sweating the small, petty stuff and get about our business, taking care of ourselves and helping out in the community!

Antonia December 16, 2011 - 3:05 PM

Cryssy was a friend of mine as well and I’ve been barely keeping it together all day. She had a spirit that shined so bright to see her gone so soon is soul crushing. I instantly prayed for her two baby girls.

If you’re planning a bone marrow drive, please reach out to DKMS, the largest bone marrow registry in the country. I’ve been a registered donor for three years and have been pleased all around with the process.

Graylen Houston December 16, 2011 - 4:06 PM

I would like to also urge everyone to sign up for the bone marrow donation registry. Its a quick swap of the mouth and a one page form. There is none of the drilling into your bones like people think. It saves lives that are needlessly loss and there is a shortage of BLACK people that are signed up. Be a hero, save a life, sign up today!!!

Candace December 16, 2011 - 4:31 PM

My love and prayers to Crystal’s family and to her dear friends now and in the coming days. As many other’s have mentioned, please please PLEASE get tested and educated on sickle cell anemia and the trait. My father has sickle cell anemia (54 years old, doing awesomely praise be to God) and of course I knew I had the trait, as any of his children would. Prior to starting our family, we asked my husband’s mother if he had been tested and she said he had and didn’t have the trait. Imagine our surprise when our baby was diagnosed with sickle cell anemia! She went back to say, “well no one in the family has sickle cell…” Yes I am at peace with it now but mad doesn’t begin to describe what I was when she said that. We only have two children and the oldest has the trait, but I thought nothing of it since I knew that was a remote possibility even based on the misinformation I had about my husband. However, our baby boy is a year old now and doing spectacular (no crises or health issues); again praises be to God. I signed up to be a marrow donor when I was in college (about 8 years ago), but have never received the call to donate. I will resume donating blood as soon as I finish weaning… every little bit helps. Blessings and love, C

Tamika December 16, 2011 - 4:33 PM

Cryssy was a beautiful mother, soror, and friend. She will be greatly missed!

Alicia December 16, 2011 - 6:01 PM

So so sorry. I am the mother of a daughter with Sickle Cell Anemia so I can understand how wonderful it was for her to give birth to two. Awesome legacy. Consider working with SCANCA and the Lauren Beck Foundation for a drive. I and my husband are registered bone marrow donors. My prayers for her family.

BFly December 16, 2011 - 6:19 PM

I am so sorry for your loss, Erika. I can only imagine the pain you and Crystal’s loved ones feel. I will say a prayer for you and Crystal’s family……may God hold you all tighter during this difficult time.

Mel December 16, 2011 - 6:22 PM

Erika: I am sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing both the good and the hard parts of your life with this community.

Sphinxman 1906 December 16, 2011 - 8:23 PM

To our Sisters

On behalf of your loving Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. Brothers all over the land. We send our prayers and love to Crystal Davis’ family during these difficult times. God has a way with loving us all, and bringing us home when He is ready to do so. She is in a better place when she is with Him. No more pain, and no more sufferring. Rest in peace, young Sister. God will take good care of you. Gone too soon…

alyx_c December 16, 2011 - 8:39 PM

I’m sorry for you and your loss. I will be praying for her, her family and you. Take care. She was a beautiful mother and I pray she’s at peace.

Lily Fluffbottom December 16, 2011 - 9:00 PM

I’m so sorry for your loss, and the loss of those girls.

Ken M. December 16, 2011 - 10:03 PM

Hello all,

Just like you were I was shocked when I read the news this am because I had the pleasure of knowing her.

I was wondering had a fund been set up to donate money or toys for the kids Christmas gifts with it being so close to the holidays.

I know gifts won’t bring their mom back but I had hoped that we could be able to do something from this bc of all the people that will mourn her passing they will be hit hardest.

If a fund is already is in place please alert me so that I can donate and spread the word to have others donate also

May God bless the babies.

Ken

ChassiJ December 16, 2011 - 10:43 PM

I just realized what Cryssy everyone on my TL was discussing. Soror Cryssy was an amazing woman. My heart pains for her daughters, family, friends and Sorors. RIP

Angela December 16, 2011 - 11:15 PM

Hi Erika, I am so sorry for your loss. Like many stories posted on your site, my brothers first born was diagnosed with sickle cell and neither of his parents knew that they carried the trait. This is very common in our community. My heart goes out to you and her family. I would like to collaborate with you to bring awareness and encourage people to get tested and donate. Please contact me and let me know how I can be of assistance. Many blessings to you and to Crystal’s family!

Andrew Cuffy December 17, 2011 - 2:51 AM

Sorry to hear about your loss. My prayers go out to you and yours.

LaToya December 17, 2011 - 3:02 AM

I read your article for the first time &Lady decided to comment because I am a mother of a 15 year old who has Sickle Cell Disease& I know what he goes through. I was &I am still afraid of what his disease is or will do to him. I thought about the marrow transplant but was afraid of how much pain he would be in but I’m definitely starting to change my mind. I know a few people who could help& would ne very interested in helping with your drive. Just send me an email

Tamika Badson December 17, 2011 - 8:55 AM

I am always so sorry to hear about a wonderful life gone so soon. I did not know Cryssy, but I know her in spirit as a beautiful woman and part of our DSU family. I would definitely love to help spread the word to our DelState family about the bone marrow drive. We also have the voice of our DSU family who keeps everyone posted about everything, on facebook….”Del-State Circle”. Please let us know how we can help.

kimmie December 17, 2011 - 2:34 PM

So sorry for your pain, hon.

Nicky December 18, 2011 - 1:55 AM

I knew Crystal and I’m still in which that she’s gone. I have a child that have sickle cell disease and its no joke. Everyone that’s able to help you guys should. My condolences to the family. I know how hard this its especially doing the holidays. I also lost my mom to cancer right before thanksgiving and it hurts like crazy. God will carry us through. She is now at rest from soho her pain and suffering. Love you Crystal. You are greatly missed

T.R. December 18, 2011 - 2:48 AM

Love and blessing to you Erika and I wish Mrs. Davis and her family love, peace and joy. I’m registered as a bone marrow giver. I’ve actually been “called up”once. A long time ago but it felt so good even though I wasn’t an ultimate match. If you can’t join Erika’s drive, the next time you give blood at a blood drive, tell them you want to be on the bone marrow list. That’s how I got on. A regular blood drive at school and the asking the lady about how to give (my moms a nurse who worked in oncology and dealt with bone marrow cancer a lot)

Cjbrownsc December 19, 2011 - 11:56 AM

So sorry for your loss and her little angels as well!

Kait December 19, 2011 - 3:29 PM

I’m a little late on this but I am so sorry for your loss.

Nas December 19, 2011 - 5:40 PM

I am so sorry for your lost. My prayers with you and her family.

Erika Nicole Kendall December 20, 2011 - 8:41 AM

Thank you, a thousand times over, to everyone for their comments – be they to console, or to support the effort for the drive. I’m definitely still “on it,” and I’ll be keeping you all posted.

Cassandre December 20, 2011 - 4:08 PM

Erika, so sorry about your loss.. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your friends family.

Johnnie December 31, 2011 - 1:12 PM

I am just now reading this and am so sorry for your loss. God bless.

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