Home Q&A Wednesday Q&A Wednesday: How Can I Help My Daughter Lose Weight?

Q&A Wednesday: How Can I Help My Daughter Lose Weight?

by Erika Nicole Kendall

Doing it again, y’all.

What do you think?

(If you can’t see the video, click here to watch!)

You may also like


Liam Rubel March 13, 2013 - 8:18 AM

First you fulfill all her craving for foods like chocolates, snacks as much as possible. Then you will find out she doesn’t want them anymore. Slowly she will start to lose weight.

Erika Nicole Kendall March 13, 2013 - 11:24 AM

…or it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy where she believes its okay to overindulge, learns no sense of self-control, gains even MORE weight, becomes ostracized at school, becomes unhappy, turns into a binge eater and then a poorly-functioning adult because she can’t handle the stress caused by the piss-poor decision making on behalf of her parents.

I mean… just a thought.

Parents are supposed to be teachers. That’s 18 straight years of building up a new person. Restraint, patience, coping and self-monitoring are all things parents should be teaching their child in ANY aspect of life, and make sure that they understand that it extends to ALL facets of life. INCLUDING weight management. Don’t get that twisted.

kami March 13, 2013 - 8:53 AM

Yes my mother tried to get to be fit in high school but I use to watch her eat processed foods and devour cookies, cakes, brownies and ice cream. My mother did not motivate me in a good way because she used alot of name calling to get me to exercise. The only thing i learned from her was binge eating and dieting basically she is a yoyo dieter. This was a confusing message for me because I was never taught about emotional eating in high school. I use to come home from high school and overeat on junk food. In high school being a size 8 with a size f boobs people would call me fat. Then my gym teacher use to talk about how out of shape I was because I failed all of my fitness assessment test. People around never did any workouts. Every time i would try to be healthy ie. clean eating and yoga or work out people would say I was insecure because I wanted to lose weigh or eat healthier diet. . Now i want it for self and gotten help for coping with stress. After the age of 21, I started working on myself. During my time in college I met people who cared about clean eating and going to the gym so I was able to see this and allow that to be my inspiration.

Randie aka redd March 13, 2013 - 2:20 PM

Hey erika I need u like asap I hope u reply back to this but I just moved here in indianapolis and is having a hard time trying to find a pole dancing class and I c u have a studio I’m willing ty to pay for some lessons is it possible we can make that happen?

Erika Nicole Kendall March 13, 2013 - 7:00 PM

I don’t have a studio; I wrote about visiting someone elses. Check here.

Janine March 13, 2013 - 3:36 PM

First of all, love Erika’s nails in this video!!
now that that’s outta the way… I was a little bit heavier as a teen, never officially ‘overweight’ but never where I wanted to be. My parents were (are) broke and always squeezed for time, and while they were committed to avoiding preservatives and most processed food, we still ended up eating far too few veggies and fruits and way too much canned soup or microwave burrito packs. Since eating junk begets craving junk, I would search under couches for change or borrow money from friends at school to buy LilDebbie treats and chips. I remember being ashamed about my cravings for this junk and not understanding how friends could just pass it up day after day. When I finally started living on my own, I invested much more time and money into my food preparation. I went vegetarian, and I eat fresh fruit and vegetables every day, unlike the parents who are still caught in the ‘feast or famine’ cycle. I agree with Erika that changing YOUR environment can really help your child’s ability to reach health. Inside all of us, there is a desire to find equilibrium and health and we just need to help it blossom.

Erika Nicole Kendall March 13, 2013 - 6:59 PM


“Goldeneye” by OPI.

Also: *hugs this comment and squeezes it tight*

marie March 13, 2013 - 3:47 PM

Erika, I couldn’t give better advice than this one and I wish I had received this advice as a child “BE the change you wish to see in your child”
If I have a kid one day for sure I will proceed differently than what I received.

OhPuhleezee March 13, 2013 - 6:10 PM

Maybe I missed it, but I didn’t hear the age of the kid. Anywhoo…I think she should be sure to sign her kid up for a sport, or sports related class, or something else active like dance. Besides the food, a lot of kids are chunky now-a-days because they just aren’t as active as we were. Many schools don’t have recess, some schools only have gym once a week, and crime is so crazy that we don’t feel safe letting them run and play outside. The closest thing a lot of kids get to exercise these days is “Wii Sports” and “Just Dance”.

Girls get even less exercise because they’re not encouraged (or expected) to do something athletic or active. I wanted to scream every time a parent stepped to my little league sign-up table happy to enroll their son and never even thought about signing up their daughter.

Get your girls involved in sports/physical activities early…and keep in mind that there is more for them to do than just cheerleading. Encourage them to participate in multiple sports so they’re involved in something all year around. Sign up for something you can do together (family swim, family dance, family martial arts).

If her daughter is a teen its not too late to sign her up for something. There has to be some activity that she’s interested in.

BlackBerry Molasses March 13, 2013 - 6:12 PM

I appreciate your response. I really do. My mother, God bless her, gave me a complex around food, dieting and my body. She was borderline eating disordered, got scary thin… and then put me on SlimFast when I was 8 years old. She had the complex and projected it onto me, and I developed an eating disorder as a result. I still remember how much she hurt me during my wedding dress fittings saying “I’d though you would have lost more weight by now.” loud enough for the entire bridal salon to hear. And I was working out like a fiend and calorie restricting to the point I was fainting from time to time. She thought she was being helpful. I had to kick her out of the dress process after that. It wasn’t about being healthy, it was about getting skinny.

My mother is over 60 and is just now starting to re-think her dialogue about her body (and consequently, mine). She still focuses on weight loss, and I counter with the fact that her plant based diet and regular exercise is helping her to avoid all those age related conditions other people her age experience. That any excess weight being shed is her body getting into proper balance. She ponders this and agrees with me… she’s learning. And I’m teaching.

So mothers, be very careful how you approach your daughters about their bodies. They’re already getting enough messages from society that they exist only to be “beautiful” and if they’re not, then they’re not worthy. Its up to you to affirm them and give them a strong sense of self.

Robin March 13, 2013 - 6:44 PM

My mom and older sister were petite 4′ 11′ and 5’1” size 8 and 0. I take after my Dad’s side. I was called Chunky, thick, Husky all through my childhood. I remember graduating from grade school at 12 years old 5’4″, size 7 and a size 8 shoe. I was athletic and not fat.
My mom complained that I could not wear the little frilly dresses and patent leather shoes. For some reason they saved my sisters gowns/dresses/formals for me. My sister is 11 years older and we wore the same size only once in life. I was in the 4th grade.
To this day my mother Still talks about how “big” I am.
It really did bother me until a few years ago. I love myself more. I know what to do to get to a healthy size for me. I will never be that size “0” but a size 10 is in my future. My mom’s eating habits were not the best and she was not the best cook. Thank God for college and the internet. Without these I may still be eating Fat Back and cornbread. LOL

kiesh March 13, 2013 - 11:26 PM

You gave great advice! Like I sad on YT, what better way to teach your kid how to live a healthy lifestyle than by doing it?

I was always really slim until about junior year of high school but even then I was still a healthy weight. However, I did notice the weight creep and started to walk on the treadmill my mom had in the basement. Around that age I noticed that my mom was getting more active ie going to the gym and exercising in the basement. She lost a few pounds so I tried it too. Fast forward many years later and my mom is fully committed to a healthier lifestyle and went from a size 16 to an 8 in her 40’s. She even reads this blog (I tweeted you about her sending me your meal plan lol). She inspires me to live a healthy lifestyle and when I get off track she says “just get back up!”

Living by example and offering encouraging words are the best things a mom can do to support their kids’ weight loss goals. Especially with teen girls. You can’t be sitting in your kid’s face eating pizza while trying to convince her to eat the broccoli!

Joules March 24, 2013 - 10:52 AM

Didn’t catch an age either…

When my niece started to put on weight at age 8, we did a sneak diet on her which involved:

1) Making fruits easier to reach than candy.
2) Serving everyone vegetables at dinner
3) Enrolling her in swimming
4) Talking to her gym teacher to make sure she’s participating
5) Taking her to the park after dinner.

The weight was gone in like three months and she still has no idea she was on a diet. We also never told her she was on a diet because we didn’t want her growing up to think weight gain was “bad”. She has plenty of time to learn how to feel bad about her body, we’re not starting that lesson early.

Comments are closed.