Jennifer Hudson continued to show off her amazing new figure over the weekend before performing at AOL Sessions in Beverly Hills. Although, she has been getting compliments left and right since slimming down, her fiance David Otunga isn’t too pleased with her sudden weight loss. She recently told Jay Leno:
“He’s getting adjusted to it. He’s not really into change that much so he fusses at me like, “Why do you have to have to get all dressed up to go out and why can’t you just go our like you used to?” And I’m like “I’m a walking billboard now honey”
Two snaps. That new figure is helping to keep food on the table.
The only reason I’m doing this is because I wanted to take the opportunity to line this up against the following:
3) There’s also an element of this that speaks to the insecurity of the mate. Yes, I do believe this has to be said, too. If this sentiment is shared repeatedly, with someone beating you over the head with this “you don’t need to lose weight… I like my women with x, y & z” kind of of thing… that’s a problem. Think about how dating works. We like to have arm candy on our arm. We like to walk around with someone we’re proud to have on our arm. For men, its usually that they want their girl to look better than every other girl in the room. For women, we usually like him to be well off, well dressed, well known… some kind of stock.
Now… don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that it absolutely IS better to look like a Victoria’s Secret model. What I am saying is that in this society… we know that the closer one is to that kind of figure, the more they are prized. Why would a significant other intentionally prevent you from doing something they know would garner you more compliments? Why would they try to dissuade you from doing something that you believe would make you better? Why consistently sabotage you? Why try to convince you to stay where you are, if you’ve already admitted (if not to him, at least to yourself) that you’re unhappy where you are?
I’ll just flat out say it. It’s because if you become more prized, they fear having to put forth the effort required to keep you around.
There’s a catch to weight loss, and I can admit this full stop. The more weight you lose, the larger the dating pool grows. It’s strange, because even men whom I’d been around for years were treating me differently. Speaking to me differently. People I’d joked with for years were all of a sudden hugging me closer, touching me differently. Men of different races were approaching me (which means the dating pool grows exponentially.. that is, if that’s your thing.) It’s somewhat bizarre and unfortunate – the fact that there are lots of people out there who simply will not date women beyond a certain weight – but that doesn’t change the fact that it is a very real reality… one that many of our current significant others do not want to face. They’d rather not compete with others for your affection. They’d rather not put forth the effort that would be required to regularly, repeatedly and consistently show you that you belong with them.
I’d never say that people choose overweight mates because they’re “easier”… but I do think that people get comfortable with their mates, and don’t like having to work harder than they’re used to in order to keep them.
Thoughts? I’m just genuinely – genuinely – hoping it isn’t a case of what many of us have experienced, here.