This is dangerous, dangerous stuff:
A Canadian father says the fact that he’s losing the battle of the bulge is hurting his efforts to win back his children.
The 38-year-old father of two, who weighs 360 pounds, could not be identified under Canada’s Child and Family Services Act because the case involves minors, but spoke to CTV News on condition of anonymity.
“I’m waiting on [a] decision to be handed down by family court if I’ll ever see my children again,” he said. “One of the reasons they used is because I was too fat, and couldn’t keep up with my children.”
His children have been living in foster care ever since they were removed from his ex-wife’s custody last year when she reportedly had a mental breakdown and was treated for a suspected overdose.
The custody decision is now in the hands of his local family court. A doctor involved in the case recently filed a report saying the man’s weight may interfere with his life too much to make him a competent parenting.
The custody decision is now in the hands of his local family court. (CTVNews)
“(The father) has struggled with obesity for years, which impacts significantly on most aspects of his life including (his) functioning as a parent,” the doctor wrote, according to CTV.
“He was short of breath or winded in simply walking short distances about the clinic and he lacks both the mobility and stamina required to keep up with young and active children.”
That doctor’s opinion was quickly lambasted by Ottawa Sun columnist Anthony Furey, who flagged the incident as a dangerous trend.
“According to a 2011 report, a quarter of Canadians are obese,” he wrote. “Should we be investigating those families to see if their obesity is restricting thier child-rearing abilities, then take their children away? Absolutely not.”
But the father argued he has actually taken great steps towards better health, pointing to a roughly 150 pound weight loss since the custody battle began. Once weighing over 525 pounds, he is down to roughly 360 pounds.
Nevertheless, the struggle to get his kids back could have a harmful impact itself.
“I am a stress eater,” he told CTV. “Having them in my life would cause stress, but not having them in my life would cause even more stress.”
The hospital declined to comment on the case to the Canadian network, but said in a statement that “every case is unique.”
“Mental and physical issues are examined as well as any special needs of the children,” they said.
The dad admits his own record isn’t spotless and he’s had a few run-ins of his own with the law, he says he’s cleaned up his act by taking anger management courses and no longer smokes marijuana.
“Nothing can be compared to my kids. If I lose my kids for good, it’s over for me,” he said.
This is mind-boggling to me.
Listen. I can totally understand the need for a parent to be able to chase their child around. Earlier in my blog, I wrote about how I felt itvital, as a single parent, to be able to chase my child or pick my child up and run with her in hand. For crying out loud, the zombies are coming. I need to be able to run to save her, or run with her and protect her… or any children I may have in the future.
But. Are we saying that our elders, who often can barely walk a flight of stairs without being out of breath, shouldn’t be allowed to care for children? I mean, look at the doctor’s statement:
“(The father) has struggled with obesity for years, which impacts significantly on most aspects of his life including (his) functioning as a parent,” the doctor wrote, according to CTV.
“He was short of breath or winded in simply walking short distances about the clinic and he lacks both the mobility and stamina required to keep up with young and active children.”
The same things could just as easily be said for lots of unfit people, period… not just overweight ones. Are we taking their children, too, for such frivolous reasons?
Didn’t think so.
4 comments
I have to say that I don’t believe that in this day and age a parent “needs to be able to chase their child around”. No doubt, many do want to do that, and the children benefit from the activity, but I think the doctor is presenting a very ableist view of parenthood. There are parents who are disabled in one way or another: physically, mentally and beyond. With the right support system they are able to fully care for the needs of their children. I don’t think having this kind of limitation should (automatically) be grounds for removing a child or barring a person from having children. That’s punishing a person for things that are out of their control…In the case of the father in the article, it seems that he has taken responsibility and started to clean up his act. Only hope he will continue no matter the outcome of the case…
That is some sickening bullshit right there. The only reason why that could even be considered “acceptable” is because people believe that obesity is simply about putting down the fork and that it’s all a product of being a lazy ass. You wouldn’t say that someone who’d lost a leg was an unfit parent because they couldn’t chase their child around. You wouldn’t say that someone with a disease that causes chronic pain (like MS or fibromyalgia) is unfit to be a parent either. UGH.
This article brings out my feels.
Yeah, there are about a hundred reasons a parent should not get custody of their child, but being overweight is not one of them. Might as well deny custody to people who take flights because the plane could crash…
I’d like to point out that the CAS in Canada will do and say, in many cases, just about anything to keep kids in care because they don’t get paid if the children are not in care. I know the US has it’s troubles but keeping a kid in care in Canada is CAS’s number one priority most of the time. There is also a constant opinion among doctors in Canada that a fat person is ALWAYS sick because they are fat. These have been my experiences I’m sure there are good CAS workers out there. I haven’t heard of many though.
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