A Very Big Piece of My Weight Loss Story

Saturday, October 31, 2009

by Erika

The other night, on twitter, I was asked about different pieces of my story. I guess that means… more about my struggle? How I came to a point where I was comfortable with my efforts and my ability to continue on to where I want to be?

Okay.. here goes.

Once upon a time, I lived in Denton, TX. A student at UNorth Texas, I had a close friend who I’ve mentioned on this site before, named Alyse. She’d hit the campus gym (which was absolutely stunning and seriously state of the art.. floating track and all that) at nights, and started inviting me. Me, at 300+lbs and with a 8month old beauty on my hands, I figured it couldn’t hurt, right? I mean, if nothing else, I could get a good walk with minimal exposure to outdoor elements with my daughter. If only I could commit to it.

Needless to say, I didn’t. I fizzled out quickly and, although I wish she did, Alyse didn’t push me on this. She did stick by me, though.

Fast forward about another 8 months, and I’ve moved back home to prepare to start my own business. In the time of being at home, I’d put on a good 30 lbs. I wouldn’t admit it, but it felt like someone was pumping air into my spare tire. Being home was stressful… my mother – as much as I love and value her role in my life – is a stressor. Living under someone else’s roof… is a stressor. Single parenthood… is a stressor. Starting your own business… definite stressor. I’d turn to food, simply because it shuts up, gives me what I need, and makes me feel good. Was the high temporary? Of course… but that was all the more reason to eat some more.

It wasn’t my house, so I kinda sorta couldn’t really cook in it. I would dip to the grocery store and buy little quick microwaveables – things that’d allow me to heat, eat, and retreat back out of my mom’s sight. It was her house, I didn’t want her to feel burdened in her own home. Needless to say, the weight just came piling on.

By about May, I had finally received my articles of incorporation, and was feeling accomplished. Feeling like I could really just get up and take off… and my mother mentioned the brand new fitness center that opened up around the corner. I rolled my eyes… beyond normal eye-rolling, even. But I was so high off of getting incorporated that I said, “Screw it. Let’s go.”

The gym, an Anytime Fitness, was gorgeous. Mirrors everywhere (mind you, I didn’t look in ANY), beautiful shiny machines, and TVs! Hallelujah! TVs! The owner gave me a personal tour. Told me what some machines did, showed me the importance of certain exercises, and really drove a hard sale on getting me to join. Now, I work in marketing – I know when I’m being pitched to and when someone’s genuine. He was clearly a combination of both – he had to be in his mid to late 50s and was on some Jack LaLanne fitness type mess, but at the same time he needed memberships. So I accepted, and let myself sink into his sales pitch. I NEEDED to be compelled to do this.

Once his pitch became unbearable, I excused myself to the bathroom. Inside, it was this beautiful rusty color. Nice lil’ shower curtains. Clean bathroom complete with sprays and magazines.

And a scale.

I jumped on that scale. I won’t tell you exactly what it said, but once it soared past 300, I ’bout had a HEART ATTACK. I just sobbed my little heart out. After remembering that I had to eventually leave the bathroom, I collected myself and stepped outside… only to start sobbing again.

The owner (who was also a trainer) consoled me, assured me that I COULD – in fact – do this thing, and offered me the standard two training sessions that came free with my membership. Help me become knowledgeable about the equipment, how different machines help different parts of the body, and help me figure out the best course of action for my own body. I took him up on his offer.

To speed up the story a bit, about six months went by with my membership, and I had lost about 28 lbs. In theory, about a pound a week. To clarify, I was going to the gym 28 days a month (yes, that Erika K. over there is me!), and was regularly number 1 for most gym visits in a month. I spent at least an hour in there every night that I went. I didn’t know that there were reasons for such minimal results on a regular basis. Honestly, I didn’t care. I knew there was something much more important for me to address, and getting over myself and getting used to investing in myself regularly was more important than seeing the scale move. Learning to accept that I had to ruin my hair, on occasion, and sweat a little was more important than seeing the scale move. For now, that is.

After those six months, I packed up and moved my daughter and I to Miami. No gym membership here, although there is a little gym in the apartment complex. I never visited that bad boy, though.

After three months in Miami, I gained about 14lbs. Talk about a shocker! I was beyond confused! What part of the game was THAT? I knew I needed to start back up, but I didn’t understand how I could gain so much weight so quickly. I didn’t understand how I was shortchanging myself.

Two months more passed by, and after changing my eating habits a bit, the weight gain slowed down. I had three relatively traumatic events occur back to back, and I even remember the night the straw broke the camel’s back. I was baking a tin of muffins (you read that right – some box muffins, no less) and when the word came around, I walked in the kitchen, yanked the muffins – half done – out of the oven. I just… stared at them. I just so happened to be so nauseated, that I couldn’t eat. I stuck the half done muffins in the fridge. I thought I might have an appetite, and eat them later.

I didn’t.

In fact, I only had a desire to eat raw vegetables, because they were light, less greasy, and wouldn’t turn my stomach. I won’t tell you how much weight I lost within the time frame that I did only eat raw veggies, but it was enough to make me realize that my eating habits were a problem. I just didn’t know how to address that problem.

A Sorority sister of mine with relatively healthy eating habits visited the grocery store with us one day. She knew about the changes in my weight, knew that I wanted to keep up the momentum, and knew that I was serious about changing my life. So.. we literally fought in the grocery store. If I reached for something I had no business buying, she slapped my hand. I think, at one point, I actually started throwin’ stuff at her.

“You don’t have to eat like this, Erika,” were her words. Hell, I didn’t know there were other options. Later that day, I remember saying to her “Gosh, I’m starving. Let’s go to Checkers right quick.” She told me, “No. You’ve got food at home.” That was actually the last time I ever even asked for fast food. I got her point.

Time passed, and I was losing weight without even working out. My mentality then became, “If I worked out, I could probably lose even faster!” And with that statement, I started walking. Grabbed my iPod, and hit the trail with my daughter. From there, natural progression has taken me from the walking, to the elliptical at the gym, to running outside. I spent a lot of time learning about calisthenics and with the right resources, I learned the benefits of working out at home.

To date of writing this post, I’ve lost 134lbs. If you want to include the 10lbs I actually wound up gaining back, it’s been 144lbs. I don’t like to give myself that satisfaction, though. To break it down, from the moment that I started changing my eating habits, I’ve lost about 80lbs. It’s October 31st today, right? I changed my eating habits in April. 80lbs in six months changing my eating habits vs. 28lbs in 6 months working out? Maybe now you see why I’m such a proponent for better eating habits.

In short (even though this is FAR from short, sorry), everyone has their “come to fitness” moment. Some even choose to never come to it. But if you can read my struggle and identify what the catalysts for change were for me, then maybe you’ll be better prepared when yours arrive. Maybe you’ll use them as starting points. Maybe you will use mine to start yourself up. If you use them at all, by all means, share in the comments!

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41 Comments

Nov 1, 2009

Tracy

Erika, your story is TRULY inspirational!!! Honestly, you have touched my heart!! While I don’t have a kid, I am trying to get my poor little business off the ground and I know ALLLLLLLL about living under your mother’s roof… I’m there now. S-T-R-E-S-S-O-R!!! Your next post will DEFINITELY have to be about how you changed your eating habits. I do see little victories here and there, but I do know that I need to modify my eating habits. It’s EXTREMELY hard, as I can’t load up the fridge with “healthy” stuff, as my mom won’t go for it. Even if I cook something “light” or “healthy” and try to make it flavorful, she looks at it like it’s toxic. It doesn’t bother me that much because I am trying to make MYSELF better… but I do have to be considerate. I just can’t wait to roll out! (Jesus be gainful employment so I can move!) Do you have any suggestions while I’m living in the meantime?
Nov 3, 2009

Jubilance

All I can say is WOW!!!

I had no idea that you were over 300 pounds – I always assumed that you were slimmer and had just worked on your fitness goals.

Knowing that you’ve gone through exactly what I’m doing now, and that you’ve seen great results makes me that much more motivated! Thank you so much for sharing your story!
Nov 3, 2009

Cindi

I am soo proud of you!!

Momma Graat
Nov 11, 2009

Erika

Awww, thanks Mama Graat! Love ya

Jubilance, nah.. I know my swagger confuses folks every now and again, LOL, but I had a long way to go. I still do, in ways… and I definitely feel better (and some might say, I look better, as well), but I’m aware of how far I’ve come while still focused on where I need to be. I hope the post helped you even just a lil’ to see someone else’s battle.

Tracy, awww come on sis! You can DO THIS! I’m writing down your requests and I’ll add it to the schedule, but I DEFINITELY understand – having other folks to accommodate in that fridge is dangerous, especially when they eat the same way you do… the same way you’re trying to leave behind! It SUCKS! I’ve got a mom like yours… until, well, you know.. it’s hard! I will DEFINITELY keep your notes in mind. Best of luck to you!
Nov 15, 2009

Alyse Hope

All I can saw is WOW!!!!!! I am sooo proud of you sis!!! You have come a mighty mighty long way!!!! Words Can’t even express how proud of you I am. What you are doing is amazing! You are breaking down so many barriers and are being an inspiration to people everywhere who thought they couldn’t do it! Heck you are even motivating me! I just wanted to say that I love you so much and keep up the good work and before you know it we will be shopping in the BEBE stores fighting over who is going to get the last black size 6 pencil skirt lol!!! LOVE YA LOTS SIS!!!
MUAH!!!
~Alyse~
Nov 19, 2009

Randi

Wow very inspirational. I have recently embarked upon getting my own health back in order and reading your story really touched me.

Congrats on your weightloss.
Nov 20, 2009

Sonya

thanks for sharing your recap…
Nov 24, 2009

JRich

I found your Fan page on Facebook, after a friend of mine became a fan… Well, needless to say, I can relate to your story! I’m getting married in just under 6 months and have been telling myself everyday for the last few weeks that I would start a healthy eating/exercise plan. However, instead of losing weight, I’ve been gaining weight! This site and your story have definitely inspired me! Even though it’s the Thanksgiving holidays, I’ve decided to start the ‘PROJECT ME’ plan TODAY! Thanks for the encouragement! Keep doing what you’re doing!
Dec 2, 2009

Kels

Dudette, that’s a great story. Congrats on your consistency and success!
Dec 8, 2009

Shanel

Hey Erika Erika Erika

I was in tears after I read this article. It is amazing how much you have overcome to get to where you are today! I am so proud of you and don’t forget I will be coming to see you soon! Love ya!
Dec 9, 2009

bellzie

AWESOME story. definitely an inspiration that i needed. thank you.
Dec 10, 2009

Erica B.

What an amazing story. Truly motivates me to get off my lazy butt!!
Dec 11, 2009

Nicole

I am so encouraged by your journey!!! Thanks for sharing that and good luck on the rest of your weight loss journey!
Dec 14, 2009

Kem

Thank You So Much! I am going to do this! And THANKS for not charging for this information! Also You Look Great! Keep posting
Dec 17, 2009

AuthenticQueen

Wow! Seriously, that just changed my life. I’m already in the midst of the process but it’s on… I’ll be back in 6th months. Send me as many positive vibes as possible!
Dec 18, 2009

Darlene

Hi your story is making realizing how I need to change my life like starting tomorrow. What are the ttpes of vegatable did you eats? How many times a day did you eat?
Dec 18, 2009

ajaye

thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou…I’ve been trying to summon the courage to motivate myself to get back to the gym and eat healthier. Despite all the obvious reasons to do so, I’ve not made it to the gym. Reading your story was the gentle push I needed. Thanks
Dec 19, 2009

LaTasha

Happily speechless to all of you. This is my first time on this site and I have to say that I’m VERY inspired to read about you guys and I can’t wait to get in that gym to say. Goodluck and Congratulations to ALL of you.
With Love,
Tasha
Dec 23, 2009

Paulette

Hey Erika:

I completely identify with you. I have a personal story of weight and diet struggles and I ultimately lost the weight in my early thirties, which was after three kids and a divorce. It is truly a lifestyle and attitude change. I applaud your blog and your direct no-nonsense way of handling the truth.

Thank you so much for sharing
Dec 23, 2009

Kymberly

Thanks for the inspiration! There is power in your story.

Peace!
Dec 27, 2009

Jackie Toye

Thank you for sharing.
Dec 31, 2009

Monique

I am glad to finally find someone that I can relate to in my efforts to make a permanent change. I have reached the breaking point several times only to lose momentum. I also have a coworker that is taking diet pills and has lost so much weight, and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what that does to one’s momentum. Thanks and keep up the good work!
Jan 11, 2010

Tracy

Erika,

Your story has me in tears. I see so much of my struggle in your story. You are truly inspirational and you have motivated me in such a profound way. Thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart!
Feb 2, 2010

Gayle Price

Good Afternoon Erica!
Thank you, thank you thank you! At this point in my life I am 5′6″ and weigh about 272lbs. Started the Fat Smash Diet lost 20lbs but I swear to you I have since gained it all back. I love myself and truly believe I am a beautiful person inside and out. but of course there are those areas that u would like to imporve and thats where I am right now. Its like I want to lose weight but don’t want to put for the work or the effort. In your story you said that you had to make time for you and that is what I am having problems with. Being a mother, wife, church choir member, etc. there is little time for me. I’m scared Erica I truly am of the change in my routine. Some people are not understanding when u take time out for yourself so the thought of that along with the fact that I feel beautiful already frightens me into not changing. But the realization has set in from reading your story that in order for me to be the best “ME” I can possibly be, I have to take care of myself, inside and out.

So thank you for sharing your journey and I wish you love and blessings on the rest of your journey.
Gayle
Mar 8, 2010

Erika A.

Hi Erika, I’m Erika!

I’m currently over 300lbs. I lost 53lbs back in 2006 and I just came to the realization last night that I have officially gained all of that back…plus some. *sigh* At any rate, I’m not even sure how I came upon your FB fanpage, but I joined there and came to your site. Your story is so inspiring and I can’t wait to read more. Please keep posting!!!!
Mar 9, 2010

Tenisia

I just joined your facebook fan site. I saw that someone else had and I was intrigued by the site name. I am very inspired! I am trying to lose 30lbs and change my eating habits for life. Its hard to do. Thank you for your story!
Apr 25, 2010

Ms Myra

I am inspired! As, I have begun a journey to live healthier. I am 53 and overweight.I recently, April 1st joined a Woman’s Walk Challenge. And before then I had already determined to eat whole live foods. I must say that is has definitely made me feel much better. When I read your Blog, and saw your results I feel more confident that my eventuality will be like yours ‘Smaller and Taller! Keep up the great Work!
Apr 26, 2010

Tricia

Aww I am so glad I found this blog! I’m in the midst of my own “come to fitness” moment after a lifetime of being overweight. I believe that when the way is clear the Universe gives us everything we need to accomplish our goals and finding this blog (someone posted your clean eating challenge on facebook) is absolutely a gift. Thank you so much for sharing your story!
Apr 26, 2010

Kendra

Erika-
You have really inspired me. I am 5′5″ and 245 pounds right now and I have done diet pills,and a number of other things to lose weight but I can’t seem to stay with them. I have a treadmill in my home. I even have a personal trainer who is willing to train me for FREE! I realize that I am just plain lazy. I’m going to get myself together and incorporate a daily workout into my daily routine. You are truly an inspiration!!
May 5, 2010

newSaga

thanks for sharing your story – and your pictures – so inspirational!
May 17, 2010

Linda B.

I’m at work right now, reading your story and trying not to cry. I’ve been going through such a difficult time dealing with my weight gain and your story has toucj\hed me. Looking at you i know it can be done. YOU did it! I’mm so self concious about my weight and am dreading my first day at the YMCA. My doctor suggested that i start water aroebics/ waterr jogging to get moving. I’m so nervous..but i know i can do it…you’ve inspired me…thank you and God bless…
May 23, 2010

Lisa

Thanks for the inspiration. I’ve been reading your blog for about a week and following you on FB. I have about 50 pounds to lose and you’re gonna help me. LOL!

I joined a gym last year but wasn’t really motivated so it didn’t help me. I’m an almost 8 year breast cancer survivor and the mother of 4 young adults so I know all about stress and the effects on the body. This is good stuff. I re-start Zumba tomorrow night and I had half a banana and 2 slices of low-cal wheat bread with organic peanut butter for breakfast.

I’m going to do better. Starting today. Here’s to a healthier Lisa! Cheers!
Jul 28, 2010

Lametrius

I love your story and Congrats on your weightloss. You look GREAT!!!!! I am back to working out full time and I want to be able to share my story. I have a year goal set as well. Our story is fairly similiar…..
Aug 3, 2010

Monika

I just found your site today (via Afrobella) and can’t stop reading, I just left earlier from work to read along. Thanks a million for your blog!!!!! You are inspiring me and you look incredible good!
Soryy if there are some incorrect grammar, I am writing from Germany (yes, black women over here, too ) and english is not my first language. …off I went to read some more….
Aug 3, 2010

Monika

…ps I want to loose about 44 pounds (equals 20 kilogramm), so I need any advice I can get
Aug 3, 2010

Dani

Erika- I found your site yesterday while voting and you are truly inspirational!

Monika- I have 50lbs to lose so we can be team mates in this if you want!
Aug 4, 2010

shanda

I came across your website as well from some voting blog and was quite surprised to know there are black blogs out there. But I was really intriged by yours because I have been on this journey for a couple of years and it’s my eating habits, I have done the gyms and camps and at the end of the day its my food options that I choose that I mess up on. Thank you especially with your ethnic background and I want to be able to keep some of my curvyness. Keep it up and I will be visiting everyday to read all what you have out there. Thanks and I’m starting my journey with the right foods.
Aug 6, 2010

Sherri

I am so inspired by your journey! Have you managed to lose more weight at this point, or are you maintaining? Thanks for all of the great info and keep, keeping on!
Aug 8, 2010

CHARRON

u look fabulous!! you are the first REAL INSPIRING WEIGHT LOSS STORY..THAT IS TRULY REAL..I THINK THIS IS GONNA HELP ALOT OF US OUT!
Aug 10, 2010

Leila

SOROR! You look FABULOUS!
I had my “come to fitness” moment. I am a surgery resident and in the process of my residency training I have gained 40+ lbs!! and maybe 80+ since undergrad. I am learning various surgical procedures including Bariatric surgery. I have also seen all of the complications that go with those procedures. It freaks me out to see patients whose BMIs were LESS than mine get lap bands etc. I went to my own doctor and found out that though my BMI is WAY TOO HIGH my cholesterol, BP and blood sugar are still ok, for now. I have joined weight watchers and am going to the gym and have lost my first 5lbs. I hope to be such a role model for my patients one day. Keep up the good work!
Aug 11, 2010

Eve

Such an awesome story…Congratulations on your success!! I’ve struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. My family/friends would say they would never know what size I’d be the next time they saw me because I would go up and down so much. Eating habits are definitely the source of my problem. Thank you for sharing your story.

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