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Weekend WTF: Accidentally Vegan Meat Product?

This tickles me.

This might not be news to you, but it’s definitely news to me. I’m going to add this to the list of “Accidentally Vegan Meat-ish Products” that I’ve been compiling:

In preparing a recipe for a loved one, I realized that I’d need – ugh – bacon.

Resenting that I’d have to actually purchase a big gigantic batch of bacon for the little bit that I’d need, I was told to look in the salad aisle (?) for bacon bits. Since I live without pork on my fork, I’m not familiar with where pork is located in the store and decided to at least look to see what I could find.

I crept over to the aisle of the grocery store (big mistake) to see if there was something I could use, and I grabbed these bacon bit things. I checked the back of the label, only to see the following:

“Contains no meat or animal fat.” Ha!

Sure, I’m annoyed by that “trivial amount” of trans fat (because, as I’ve mentioned before, “trivial amount”s add up)… but that’s not the biggest issue, here. Your bacon bits? Not a single drop of bacon in them! A second visit to the front label would confirm that for me:

My bad. They’re not bacon bits. They’re “bacon flavor bits”… “artificially flavored,” of course. No saturated fat, but trans fat. No cholesterol… because there’s no meat in them. Just soy and artificial bacon flavoring… that doesn’t really taste like bacon, if you think about it.

Someone- anyone – pleeeeeease tell me I’m not the last person on Earth to know that these didn’t actually have bacon in ’em!

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