An Open Letter To Skinny Women
Hey, girl. How you doin’? How’s [insert loved one]? Good, that’s good to hear. Listen, I wanted to talk to you because I know you’re ...
by Erika Nicole Kendall
Hey, girl.
How you doin’? How’s [insert loved one]? Good, that’s good to hear.
Listen, I wanted to talk to you because I know you’re pretty comfy in your own skin and really happy with where you are in life… I think that’s awesome. However, I cannot help but notice how often you are scarfing down the fast food, ice creams and various and sundry peanut butter cups… all day. Not all day, but all day.
I know, I know, but your metabolism… your figure… you’re blessed. Got it. I mean, I hear you. “As long as you don’t look the way you eat,” (obviously acknowledging that you eat like a hot high fructose corn syrupy mess) because looking fat would be a sin, right? I mean, that’d be too much to bear, right?
I’ve got to tell you, girl, that there’s far more to being “skinny” than just “thin” or “petite.” See, society has spoiled you into thinking that you don’t have to worry about “anything” as long as you don’t look like them… so no, your health isn’t an issue. And I get that. No one wants to be pointed out on the sidewalk and featured in one of those headless ambiguous shots that newscasters use in their reports – the anonymous fat person with their pants so ill-fitting they’ve got a wedgie – and no one wants to ever be known as “the fat one.”
But do you ever think about the fact that you could be known as “she was so cute too, so skinny! You would’ve never thought she’d have heart disease!” or even “dang shame what happened to that girl.” I’m not playin’ – I know what kind of blank pass your peers and loved ones might be giving you because you’re not “wearing your food” like the rest of society, but please believe your insides are taking a beating for it. 67% of Americans are overweight, almost 40% obese… trust me – you don’t want to listen to too many of us when it comes to whether or not you’re “ok” to eat what you’re eating.
For instance, did you know that you lose about .5% of your ability to burn calories properly every year after about age 20? Our metabolism is high in our teens because our bodies are growing; but since the older we get, the less we grow, our metabolism actually slows down. So with each passing year, the amount of food we can eat without it penalizing our figures… decreases. It gets harder to maintain that body with dwindling metabolism and bad habits.
Or how about, regardless of whether or not you’re petite, you can absolutely be fat? Just because you don’t have rolls or whatever doesn’t mean that you aren’t carrying fat. A little fat is normal of course, but if you are eating acidic foods… your body is intentionally building fat around your organs as a means of protecting them from the acid! (And no, that’s not acid like citric acid in fruits. That’s acid like in things like coffee, creams, some beans, corn..) And if you’re really eating like crap, guess what you’re most likely to be eating in abundance? Corn! High fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, corn meal, corn flour, corn, corn, corn. Sigh. Sucks, don’t it?
What about the fact that being petite in size does not protect you from the diseases and problems that society has come to expect from overweight people? Type II diabetes, heart disease, on and on and on…. it is risky. Very risky. Trust me, I know – food tastes good. Hellagood. But presuming that you’re not at risk until you start packing on the pounds is a dangerous game. Don’t do it to yourself.
Really, mama, I say this out of love. Don’t walk away thinkin’ “She’s just sayin’ that ’cause she wishes she could be skinny like me.” I’m not tryin’ to be skinny like you – I’m tryin’ to be skinny like me. More importantly, I’m tryin’ to be healthy and I’d like you to try right along with me. As a friend, of course. I’m not trying to knock you off of any pedestal, but I am trying to call to your attention the fact that your health is a gift, girl! Just because it’s not what you see in the mirror when you wake up every day doesn’t make it any less worthy of attention, effort or consideration. Go the extra mile to take care of yourself, and maintain your internal health for as long as you can! Your inner (and outer) body will definitely thank you for it!
With love,
Erika
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20 Responses to “An Open Letter To Skinny Women”
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I really do hate the term skinny. I think it’s just as bad as calling someone fat.
I do agree with the overall point that everyone- any size- should be eating healthier.
While I hope you aren’t offended, I’m not quite sure I’d put it on par with “calling someone fat,” LOL.
I’m glad that my overall point wasn’t lost though, despite the off-putting language.
I enjoyed this post. I have friends that feel because they are “thin” or “skinny” they are immune to disease and illnesses. I’m glad you went there!
Thank you! Unfortunately, this is what happens when society focuses more on “looks” than we do health. We start letting our girls go by the wayside because it “looks” like they can! No ma’am!
What is skinny – what size is skinny. I am a size 8 some folks tell me uh you skinny some say yeah you could stand to lose a few pounds
Honestly, I have no clue – skinny in Miami is different from skinny in Houston is different from skinny in Illinois, you know?
And besides, all those variations sounds like all the more reason to not listen to those “folks,” doesn’t it? LOL!
love this post! now im a lil plump in certain areas(stomach, thighs) but at a good weight for my height and in high school this extra skinny chick used to always call me fat always and i tried to eat pretty much healthy but she would always scarf down chips, pop,candy, burgers,pizza, cookies you name it and then say to me that i wish i was her size so i could be able to eat what she ate and not gain weight but yet this chick could not run down the hallway without being out of breath. sorry about the rant but this post just proved a point i already knew!
LMAO I’m not even mad at it! I see it all the time and while I may not say anything openly (I’m not that crass), I definitely snicker a little bit on the inside. LOL
Really late to the game, but I love this post. Because all too often, when someone has health issues, people will refer to it as “weight-related issues.” And they don’t even realize the huge implication they’re making: that thinness is a marker of “health.” SMH. Oh, it can be, but it’s certainly not THE marker of health. I really love this:
See, society has spoiled you into thinking that you don’t have to worry about “anything” as long as you don’t look like them… so no, your health isn’t an issue.
Yep – that’s the subtext behind so many that appear to be concerned with black women’s weight.
LOVE this. When I started referring people to this site they would snare and ask why I was on a site for folks tryna lose weight. I get comments like “your bony behind does NOT need to lose any weight!” Fine, but I DO need to be HEALTHY and IN SHAPE and being petite does not automatically afford me either. This site has really been a blessing
Funny….I read this and thought….where was this broad (you) when I needed this talk — no disrespect though i use broad loosly.
I was SKINNY. And being called skinny is not as bad as being called fat because skinny has a really broad range. I mean i was 5’7″ 115lbs skinny. Yeah that is skinny. And to this day i’m called skinny and I weigh 150lbs now. But that’s not the point of my post…..
I got me gallbladder removed earlier this year. In fact 3 days before Superbowl….and I’m still pissed about that (I missed a great weekend – yeah i know…don’t judge me). I’ve always been a picky eater, but with the good, i’ve always also eaten stuff not good for me. Oxymoron right?
Had I ACTUALLY understood that yeah my metabolism may be high, but i’m still putting $#*& in my body…i would probably never had gone thru the pain i did with my gallbladder or any other health issues that i currently go thru.
So i support your “letter to the skinny broad”. She needs to know this. She needs to understand this. So she can save herself.
Don’t worry. I knew exactly what you meant.
I appreciate you leaving this message! Hopefully someone who needs it will see it.
I like that you have shed light on healthy eating. I have always been a healthy eater and have always enjoyed a slender build, partly because of genetics and partly because I am the type to stay physically active. But what I hate is how women actually act like they hate me because I am slender. I find it offensive for people to think they can have a conversation with me about my weight, when most of the time they dont want to talk about much else or I have to steer them away from this subject. And it seems that no matter how often I talk to them it will come up and really makes me feel uncomfortable.
Like, what do you want me to say? When I say oh I dont eat this or that, then they are offended. When I tell of something physical that I did, like walking somewhere thats close enough to drive then I’m doin too much!
And they seem to be very offended when they see that I can cook and that I have a healthy appetite. I just want to say that there are skinny broads out here really working towards living good and looking good.
I friggin adore you. Because its so true. And sometimes makes me want to scream…or smile smugly. Instead I send love and well wishes.
I love this!! This pretty much sums up “skinny fat” and I think you’re right on. I’ve been perusing your blog instead of making dinner (crap!) and am loving all of it.
First, I want to say thanks for the website and thanks for the straight talk. There’s just not enough of it out there. I discovered your website through a friend. She is both black and losing weight. I am not black, but I am on a mission to make myself lighter and free of this extra weight I wear like armor. I liken it to carrying two Thanksgiving Day turkeys wherever I go. As to this specific article, I am in total agreement. I have a sister who has always been very thin (tiny, actually). For years I was jealous of her ability to consume an entire bag of potato chips in a sitting. I was equally jealous of her ability to keep boxes of Girl Scout Thin Mints in her freezer for months at a time (smh) without the slightest trace of willpower necessary. Recently, she has quit smoking (hooray) and, at 57, is discovering that it’s not so easy to keep the weight off. On top of that, her cholesterol is higher than it should be and (rightfully so) she doesn’t want to risk using statins to lower it. So now, at this point in her life, she’s trying to learn how to eat right and exercise. It would be so much easier if she had given it the slightest thought for all those years… The good thing is that she is trying, but I wish she could have read this years ago. Maybe she wouldn’t have listened, but at least she would have had an idea.
I’m upset. I understand your points and I agree with them. However your choice of words and the tone of this post are hateful. (At least I think so). I’m Black I’m 5’6 and I weigh 113lbs. Yes, I eat most if not all of the foods and snacks you refered to. The problem I have with this post is that its biased. You are assuming that all skinny girls eat “junk” because they can and don’t have to worry about health. You’re wrong. Yes some skinny girls do beleive they don’t have to worry about health but not most. You completely skipped over the issue of body image (especially in the Black community) and enjoyment. I eat these things because I enjoy them. I used to eat them because I wanted to gain weight and be a little thicker. Yes, it does hurt to be called anorexic and bulimic to your face. It hurts even worse to be told you’re not good enough because you’re not thick enough. And FYI just because you see me eating junk and not exercising doesn’t mean I don’t exercise. I mean hey getting glares in the gym because I’m skinny working out is just annoying. My point is don’t make assumptions about people. And I’m not nor have I ever been an evil skinny bitch and I don’t think fat people are gross like you suggest.
1) I’m entirely certain that you’re more offended by the fact that you’re being “called out” for eating crap than you are by the rest of this post. Above all else, your diet is suspect and you need to do something about it. It doesn’t matter if you enjoy it. You can enjoy things that aren’t made of garbage – I certainly do – and not endanger your health in the process. So, no, I didn’t skip over enjoyment – I didn’t need to. I talk a lot about quality on this blog, and I do so because quality matters.
2) This post isn’t about body image – there’s an entire category for that, and there are even posts where I talk about how we need to leave thin women alone and stop body snarking them because, quite frankly, of what you’ve written here – it’s about women who DO think like what I’ve written above, and telling them that “yes, you ARE hurting yourself on the inside just because you’re not wearing it on the outside.”
3) I’m sure it hurts to be called anorexic or bulimic, and I hope you have enough self-confidence to tell those people exactly what to do with their comments. Trust me, I’ve been there – there’s nothing worse than someone telling me I got to where I am because I have an eating disorder or because I had “surgery.” There’s nothing worse than someone implying that you’re where you are not because of hard work, but because you’re sticking your finger down your throat.
4) Again, society doesn’t know what the hell it’s doing with itself. Of course you’d see a thin woman in the gym… how else does she maintain her figure? *confused face*
5) This post is a “check yourself.” And no, “skinny women” aren’t the only ones I’ve checked, either. If it doesn’t apply to you, then step aside. If it does (and apparently, so), then think about the next bag of crap you “enjoy” and whether or not it’s truly worth it. You can gain weight while eating better than that, you can lift weights and you can join a sport (actually, joining a sport might be your best bet.)
6) Look at EmpressTaTa’s comment. THAT is why I wrote this post. So, as “pissed off” as you are, just take what applies to you and leave the rest behind.
Phew, at first I was afraid that this would be another thin-vs-curvy article, so I’m happy to see that the focus was health rather than appearance! And you are totally right, everyone should be watching what they eat in the age of processed food, and I know lots of thin gals (myself included) that gorge on crap without really considering the consequences. I think that whatever size or shape you are, you should treat your body right with good, healthful foods and exercise, but without completely depriving yourself of the things you love. The goal of being healthy should NOT be to achieve a particular dress size or image, just to treat the body nature gave you right
Good message Erika!