What also makes sense is that when it comes time to change as a person, if our friends can’t accept that change or downplay/inhibit that change in some fashion, they should fall to the wayside… right?

So what happens when our friends are standing in the way of our growth as healthy individuals? Think about it. Do we get together over a jog, or over a giant Three-For-All (pictured above)? Do we get together and drink a six pack together, or do we go someplace…. where food isn’t involved? If I suggest that we get together over an activity, not a meal… is someone wondering, “Yeah, and can we stop at Chili’s? I’m starving!”

I think it’s a difficult realization to face – that the people we love might be enabling bad habits that are hazardous to our health. I remember my best friend – who actually models – and I always would get together for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and/or the bar. She started working out at a local gym, and I… went for 7 days. That was it for us and the gym thing. And eventually, the more in-tune she got with her health, the more time it resulted in her spending away from me. Phone time? I’ve got you covered. Otherwise, it wasn’t happening.

I can admit it now – her “healthiness” made me uncomfortable! It was a constant reminder of how unhealthy I was, and instead of telling myself “Yeah, she might lap me on the track but I’m good if I keep going,” I said “I’m not going to embarrass myself like this!” She would also tell you, that my friendship was bad for her health. We talked all the time, but we couldn’t hang – because I always needed food to be involved, for some reason. That’s just the way it was. We can joke about it now, but it’s an underlying issue in many friendships, I’d presume.

Enter this lovely article that I came across via Yahoo! discussing how our friendships impact our health. Taken from the article:

In the study, 130 kids ages 9 to 15 were allowed to snack as much as they wanted while hanging out with a friend or with a peer they did not know. All the kids ate more when they were with a friend than with a stranger. But the overweight children ate the most when paired with an overweight friend – an average of 300 more calories than when they spent time with leaner friends. The research also found that friendship itself makes the appetite grow stronger: when overweight kids ate with similar-weight kids who were already their pals, they threw back an extra 250 calories than when they ate with chubby kids they had just met.

If that wasn’t enough to make you raise an eyebrow, here’s a little more:

Socializing with overweight people can change what we perceive as the norm; it raises our tolerance for obesity both in others and in ourselves. It’s also about letting your hair down. Past research has shown that adults tend to eat more around friends and family than they do with strangers. They shed their inhibitions about how it looks when they go back for thirds or order the alfredo sauce instead of the marinara.

I’ve got one more that goes in line with what I mentioned earlier:

Finally, there’s the idea that we like to hang with people who are like ourselves. Cornell food sociologist Jeffrey Sobal explains that “especially among two overweight people, there’s a sort of permission-giving going on. We’re encouraging each other to eat more.”

So knowing this, what do we do? Do we start dumping our friends who are less healthy than ourselves? Do we begin to grow offended by the friends who might’ve faded out of our lives? Do we simply chalk it up to natural progression and look forward to experiencing our own?

I can honestly tell you, I don’t know. Almost ALL of my friends were in single-digit sizes. They all tried to help me, but I had to come to this conclusion about my self and my health.. on my own. With the logic in this article, I should’ve fallen by the wayside a long time ago.

However, their lack of desire to talk to me about health and fitness wasn’t helping me, either. It was almost as if it made them uncomfortable, or they were afraid to hurt my feelings. No lie, it probably would’ve hurt my feelings for sure. It enabled my bad behavior (not like they should be responsible for it in any capacity, anyhow.) It took my making friends who were as fitness focused as I eventually became to help me integrate my healthy habits into my life.

It took me seeing that people “really live this way” (and yes, I put that in quotation marks because that’s the exact quote I said to myself!) for me to accept that this was an option for me. It took me learning that people “really think about these things” when they order food. And sure enough, when I started to blindly and openly talk about these things with my friends, all of a sudden we started to have new conversations! About calories, cooking, health, fitness, exercise, yoga, junk food, everything! It was like they were keeping a part of themselves away from me because they didn’t want to hurt me. Sure enough, our friendships grew much better beyond that because we were able to bond over one more important part of our lives. I learned a lot of the things that I share in this blog from those relationships.

So, I say all of that to say this: If your friends are hindering your progress, don’t just fall back – if they’re in the same boat as you, talk to them and see if you all have the same concerns and are just afraid to bring them up. If they’re “not concerned” or “just trying to enjoy today,” then find more friends to share your fitness goals and experiences with… and serve as a role model for your friends who are in the same boat as you. You never know who you may inspire, or who may bond with you after they become inspired by your progress!

What About Your Friends: Are They Helping Or Hindering Your Progress? is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. Motivation and Measuring Weight Loss Progress: The Progress Dress
2. Q&A Wednesday: Unsupportive Friends Tell Me “Live A Little!”
3. A Year Of Progress In Photos

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 7 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: emotional eating, relationships, social eating

$55 -- Lobster-and-black-truffle salad at the Four Seasons;Credit: Johnathan Beskin

“It’s insanity!” says 28-year-old public relations consultant Erin Ward, who was recently on line at a Midtown salad bar. “You’re not paying for the food at that point. You’re paying for the name.”

Indeed, a salad with similar ingredients — diced chicken breast, bacon, blue cheese, hard-boiled egg, avocado, tomato and baby greens — from run-of-the-mill takeout joint Café Metro costs just $9.57 with tax.

And yet some New Yorkers are willing to pay even more green for their greens. Now that summer’s officially here, the city’s most exclusive restaurants are awash in exorbitantly priced rabbit food. The luxe leaves are selling so well that chefs are staffing up the garde manger cold station just to meet the warm-weather demand.

Call them “status salads” — among them the $55 lobster-and-black-truffle salad at the consummate Midtown power lunch spot Four Seasons and the $25 chopped chicken salad at Fred’s at Barneys.

All of which begs the question: How much can you get away with charging for a salad?

“It depends on what’s in it and where you’re eating it,” says guidebook CEO Tim Zagat.

C’mon, out with a number!

“$100 — if you sprinkle enough caviar on top,” he replies.

That artfully plated $55 lobster-and-black- truffle salad at the Four Seasons ­— with a sculptured village of seasonal vegetables — is certainly selling well. When it was a special last week, the titans of industry who gather in the Grill Room gobbled up 30 of them in a single day.

But the popularity of double-digit salads isn’t just about the ingredients, it’s the swank surroundings.

Unlike Michael’s, Café Metro doesn’t have art by David Hockney on its walls, Christofle silver on its tables and actor Michael Douglas lunching with the powerful, Gekko-esque Henry Kravis a couple of seats over. And let’s not forget the impressive size of the Michael’s salad.

[...]As it turns out, New Yorkers are fiercely loyal to their status salads.

“It’s my death-row salad,” says p.r. maven Diana Biederman of the famous Gotham Salad at Bergdorf Goodman. Currently served in the department store’s swanky seventh-floor restaurant BG, it combines diced chicken breast, ham, gruyère, tomatoes, bacon, beets, hard-boiled egg, lettuce and Thousand Island dressing.

Price tag: $25.

Admittedly, it was cheaper back in the ’80s, when Biederman first got hooked. At the time, she was making $6.25 an hour as a salesgirl at Laura Ashley, scrimping and saving just to indulge every few months.

“Since they’ve gone fancy, it’s a little overpriced,” she concedes.

Still, die-hard dieters maintain their salads amount to much more than mere washing and assembling.

“All that meticulous chopping — it would take me an insane amount of time to make,” says Biederman.

‘21’ executive chef John Greeley, who serves a $31 Cobb salad complete with quail eggs and artisanal bacon, agrees. “Each vegetable is cut in a certain way to enhance texture and flavor,” he says. (Note to the hoi polloi: The Cobb will appear as an appetizer on the Summer Restaurant Week menu — three lunch courses for $24.07!)

According to defenders of double-digit salads, the brawny entree-size bowls offer a fairly priced fine-dining meal — especially since they’re so sizable, they’re frequently eaten without an appetizer.

And then there is the simple matter of setting. After all, the pricey greens are often just a civilized pretext for wheeling and dealing.

“If I’m having a business lunch, obviously I’m not taking them to Dishes,” says ‘21’ regular Alexandra Lebenthal, referring to the East 45th Street assembly-line salad spot she occasionally frequents.

The CEO of financial firm Lebenthal & Co. and author of the forthcoming novel “Recessionistas,” Lebenthal is something of a salad connoisseur. In addition to regularly nibbling on the Cobb at ‘21’ (hold the blue cheese), she’s also a fan of the $25 chopped chicken salad — a mix of shredded chicken, avocado, onion, tomato, pears and bibb lettuce tossed in a Dijon mustard-balsamic vinaigrette — at fashionista-friendly Madison Avenue eatery Fred’s.

“At the end of the day, is there anything as satisfying as a salad — except maybe chocolate cake?” she muses.

Still, she’s a bit surprised when told the ‘21’ Cobb salad costs $31.

“I actually never looked at the price,” she laughs.

So, what’s the most she’d pay for a salad?

“$32.”

And what will she do if ‘21’ raises the price?

“Hopefully they’ll grandfather me in,” she says. “I’m a longtime customer.”

For Pulse: Freds @ Barneys Freds Chopped chicken salad $25 Dollars - Credit: Johnathan Beskin

I didn’t want to paste those parts out of context, but I think it’s important to see the highlighted passages.

To me, there are a couple of interesting aspects to this article. For starters, I’ll tell y’all the same way I responded when I first saw this article: “If all of the ingredients are organic, if the blue cheese is homemade, if nothing comes from a bottle and if that chicken is organic and free range… if everything is chopped and pitted correctly and I’m not bothered by seeds or other vegetable innards? You’re darn straight I’d pay that much for it. No bacon though. #TeamAntiBacon”

I place a high value on the food I bring into my body and share with my daughter. Some people value their shoe collections (believe me, I am one of those people), some people place a high value on their clothing and for others, it’s their jewelry. I.. I value food.

I appreciate the experience. I make a big deal out of eating. I like pomp and circumstance. I like simplicity. I like dishes and dining experiences that find an appropriate balance between the two. As someone who worked both in a franchise restaurant (think Applebees, Fridays, Chili’s type places) and a small fine dining restaurant, I’ve learned a lot about the difference between dining and feeding. One includes an experience worth every dollar, and one includes an experience where you get what you pay for.

Having said that, there’s also an interesting – and disturbing – bit that needs to be highlighted, here. All the food history that I know… has consisted of this interesting volleying between the rich and the poor. Not the “upper class” and the “middle class.” The rich. And. The poor. There is no middle ground between those who can, and those who cannot. Once upon a time before food manufacturing wasso big, the rich were “the fat ones,” gorging on every fruit and vegetable they could get their paws on. Devouring every ounce of beef and pork they could. This is why the women were accepted for being curvier – it was a sign of being moneyed.

The poor were skimping – portion controlling, saving, penny pinching. Mixing different ingredients so that they could make a lot out of very little. It made tons of sense. It still does.

When food manufacturing became the thing, and people were rushing out to eat this… food… American waistlines started to grow. Everyone scrambled left to right to figure out what the cure for this problem was – more likely, so that food manufacturers could chemically engineer the “problem” out of the food, allowing you to buy as much of it as you want – but the rich.. they pretty much already knew. They went back to minimalistic dining principles. Clean eating.

Compare the menu of your favorite restaurant (provided it isn’t a fine dining one) to the menu of a fine dining restaurant. Compare the portions. Compare the make-up of the dishes. A $36 salad.. that’s enough to buy two racks of ribs, three handfuls of fries and a shot of tequila at the franchise restaurant I have in mind. You might even be hard-pressed to find something like ribs at a full fledged fine dining restaurant.

My point, really, is this – while we’re so busy trying to “live it up” and “live through food,” the upper class are taking the simple route and making the eating more about the experience. While franchise joints are rushing to offer up huge steak and shrimp dinners, fine dining restaurants are focusing more on the experience of dining – not the need to feed – and raising the price on it.

Sounds like all the more reason to create my own dining experience – taking the simplistic route with my dishes and save by cooking from scratch – how about you?

The $36 Salad: An Exercise In Elitism? is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. Elitism On A Food Stamp Budget?
2. Q&A Wednesday: Exercise Won’t Make You Thin?
3. Three Great Ways To Exercise At Home

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2011. | Permalink | 17 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: classism, clean eating, elitism, NY Post, restaurants, social eating, society

I think people who really have your best intentions at heart are allowed to express their concerns to you about becoming healthier; however, there is a thing called tact! – Chanel

i’d rather not have anyone call me fat except for me. I decide when I need to hit the gym and i decide when and if i am happy with how I look. – Elledub

Honestly, though I may dislike hearing it, I think my family and friends should be allowed to call me fat. I’ll tell you why. As I’ve stated before (maybe not here, but on my blog or Twitter), I didn’t really notice the weight gain. I knew it was creeping up, but I still looked (in my mind) pretty good. When people started making comments, inclusive of a student that had absolutely NO tact whatsoever, I took stock in what they were saying and decided that I needed to do something about it. – Tracy

Honestly, anyone who loves me had better tell me if I’m picking up weight. – Winnie

I wish to God one of my friends or family members had had the courage to tell me I needed to do something about my weight a few years ago. [...] Now that most of the excess weight is gone, everyone is all “OMG, you look great”, but I can’t help but to wish someone had remarked on my weight before. But that’s easy to say on the other side of the fence… – Sister Toldja

I think that “other side of the fence” is a big part of this. As I wrote about the conversation between my Mother and my sister, it’s hard for me to think about what my response would’ve been to someone telling me I was gaining too much weight. I mean, I was a snappy chick… quick to rain jokes down upon the head of anyone who was willing to step to me about my weight. I could only imagine what kind of torrential terrible twenties tantrum fit I might’ve thrown had someone told me that I was any less sexy, dope, amazingly gorgeous, downright stunning and perfect than I believed I was in my own head.

And that’s not to say that being overweight means that I couldn’t be sexy, dope, amazingly gorgeous, downright stunning and perfect. It means that since I saw “fat” as a flaw (and let’s face it, most of us do), having someone remind me of a flaw I was diligently ignoring felt like the chink in my armor turning into a hole. And that’s, well… unacceptable.

I think of the countless times my girls tried to get me to hit the gym with them. My best friend, an avid runner, actually offered to walk with me one day. (Do you know how hard it is to get a runner to slow down for your slow behind?) My mother made side salads for dinner, while making sure that the more calorie-heavy parts of the meal were “all gone” by the time I’d go to fix my plate. Apparently, everyone had something to say… but no one was saying it. Meanwhile, I was gaining weight at a rate of about 20lbs a year.

Am I making that gain everyone else’s fault? Nope. It’s my body, my responsibility to learn how to care for it, and care for it properly. However, what kind of climate was I creating where the people around me couldn’t even tell me – in love and in kindness – that something was going on with me? Couldn’t express their concern for me?

Frankly, I ain’t the one. I can’t afford to be the one.

Let’s say that you and your girls are getting ready to hit a major event. Before you all walk out the door, you check each other out to make sure you’re all looking good. Isn’t the expectation that one of them will tell you if you’re the one looking a mess? We expect our friends to tell us if we’re looking a fool before we walk out of our houses, but they can’t tell us we’ve put on too much weight?

Is it the fact that we, as women, tend to be so objectified – everything has to do with sexuality and sexual appeal – that we’ve equated “you’re gaining weight” with “you’re unattractive?” Are we so used to everything being about attraction, that being told we’re packin’ on the pounds must also be about being attractive (or, in this case, less than attractive?) It couldn’t simply be a “Hey… check on your health.” type situation? It has to be about “cute?”

Or is it the fact that everyone’s threshold is different? Southerners have a different definition of “putting on weight” than Northerners. Miami’s definition is different from Houston. Mississippi wouldn’t understand California. An extra ten pounds vs an extra hundred or so. For someone to acknowledge that I’ve put on the pounds, when “put on the pounds” means “ten pounds” to them? I won’t even lie. They just might get the finger.

I think about myself now. I get at least one comment/email/tweet/anonymous whatever a week calling me a “fat bitch.” I usually laugh, but every now and again I raise my eyebrow and wonder… “Once upon a time, I couldn’t get people I love to tell me I was too big. Now, I’ve got strangers telling me I’m fat? What part of the game is that?” 330lb Erika might not’ve had that reaction. 180lb Erika, however… is tickled.

It goes back to that “other side of the fence” note I made earlier. Looking at the person I am today, I can acknowledge that this is the person I needed to be to get to where I am. Allowing the people I love to feel comfortable addressing my flaws might’ve helped me become this person much earlier on in my life. If I keep them close to me because I trust their influence to make me “better,” why exclude health? Why exclude weight? If the people who love me want to offer me solutions, why not be open to them? What do I have to lose?

And let me clarify.. I’m talking about people who love you. The ones invested in you as a person. The ones who are there for you at your worst. They deserve to be able to help make you better, and enjoy you at your best. We can talk about “haters,” but I fully believe they’re not worth talking about. Nor are they worth thinking about. People who mean you no positivity aren’t worth time or brainspace.

No, really. I mean that. So those family members who insist on spitefully bringing up your weight – the ones you know mean you no earthly good, and usually never have any support to offer you beyond “Yo booty gettin’ kinda big” – you can give them a polite “I’ll take that under consideration,” and change the subject… while mentally giving them the finger.

My plea is just that we not shut out the people who we trust to see the worst of us. Don’t prevent them from helping to develop the best in you: the healthy you! I’m talkin’ about those people who – like my friends (who, I’ll have you know, are still my tried and true friends fat or skinny) – are willing to walk through the fire with you, support you and offer you solutions to help you get to where you want to go. Where you need to go.

This journey isn’t one that we can go on alone. You will always need a support system that will giggle with you at your failures, cheer you on through your successes, and help you learn from both. You trust them to have your back, so trust them to tell you about something you might be overlooking… like your weight. If you love them and they love you (and you know it), give them a chance. They very well may have the answers, resources and support you need.

Be happy, but most importantly… be healthy.

Who Should I Allow To Call Me Fat? is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. Who’s Allowed To Call You Fat?

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2011. | Permalink | 7 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: blackness, fat, mentality, social eating, stigmas

Don't do it, girl...

You know, sabotage is a funny thing.

A lot of us tend to live in the moment, right? I mean, we tend to “wing it.” We “fly by the seat of our pants.” In other words, most of our decisions are made based upon the here and now as opposed to where they’ll get us in the future or whether or not they’ll bring us closer to our goals. (And that’s the real problem, right?) The downfall of this kind of philosophy, however, is that this lack of consciousness leaves us ripe for sabotage to take over… because an “unconscious” person won’t really ever notice that the sabotage is taking place. They’ll only recognize the repercussions of that sabotage after the fact, be it weight gain, fatigue, declining health… whatever.

Sabotage is defined as “an act or process intending to hamper or hurt; a deliberate subversion.” In this context, sabotage is basically an effort someone puts forth to distance you from your goal – whether that goal is improved health, weight loss, an increase in ability… whatever. It’s an intended effort to get in your way.

It’s obvious to see how a lack of awareness can allow for sabotage to get in the way. Your “work friend” offering you a donut even though she knows you’ve lost 23lbs thus far and want to keep the momentum going. Your friends inviting you out to eat, and picking on you about how you need to “live a little” and “enjoy yourself” (because, you know, food is the only way you can enjoy yourself nowadays.) If you weren’t thinking, you might respond to claims of “Aw, come on.. you need to live a little!” with “I know, I know… besides, I have been good lately… why not?” and before you know it, you’re “I know, I know”ing yourself into a plateau or right back into your bad habits. Before you know it, the work donut becomes a part of your daily routine… and you’re suffering hunger and fatigue because you’re eating that instead of something of nutritional value. Bonus points if it’s from one of those gigantic donut chains that fry donuts that aren’t made of, well… food.

Those acts of sabotage, I find, are much easier to solve. You have to think about each word said to you before you respond, and think about each bite of food you put into your mouth. Resolve, to yourself, that it’s okay to take the unpopular stance in regards to food, and like I’ve said before: considering how almost 70% of American society is overweight… it’s not very sane (or smart) to listen to random suggestions from people, especially when they contradict what you’d normally do.

The most complicated acts of sabotage, however, are the ones that come from ourselves. Sneaking unhealthy snacks, eating a cupcake “every other day instead of every day,” buying things in the grocery store that you know aren’t clean, justifying your unnecessary use of sugar because your food “doesn’t taste good without sugar (then why are you eating it?)” or even skipping your workouts – day after day – because you “look good anyway.” I “looked good” at 300lbs… “looking good” isn’t why I work out. I won’t even get on the “hiding food” phenomenon. Yet.

We are, sometimes, our own worst enemy. We can manipulate ourselves. Easily. If I know that I want an excuse to indulge in unplanned cheesecake… guess what? I know exactly what to say to myself to justify why I should eat that cheesecake. I know how that cheesecake might make me feel after indulging… and that’s all the reason in the world to manipulate myself into diving right in… tongue first. It’s basic addict behavior, and that’s why sabotage is such a serious issue. It’s a means of enabling ourselves into continuing bad behavior.

How can we work to stop self-sabotage? I humbly offer up a few suggestions for how I deal with self-sabotage (because really, it is a life-long practice. People never stop wanting to see you gorge yourself and possibly… slowly… work yourself back up to your former weight.)

1. Accountability – see yourself as if you are your own boss. You wouldn’t intentionally sabotage a project that your boss assigned to you… well, unless you wanted to be fired. You may not be able to fire yourself, but you need to see “poor health” as an equally damaging consequence of your actions.
2. Consciousness – you cannot identify a situation that needs accountability without being aware. No sleeping at the wheel – every time you eat, it has to be a deliberate effort… not just lazily or thoughtlessly snacking and thinking “I can afford it.” What you can afford today… adds up tomorrow.
3. Diversion – find something else to do! Divert your attention elsewhere. Go for a walk. Go read a book. Go engage someone or something that doesn’t have anything else to do with food.
4. Challenge yourself – the behavior that causes sabotage comes from a line of thinking that must be altered. The thinking that implies that it’s “okay” to do something you’ve already identified as wrong… it needs to go. Spend some time questioning why you believe it’s “okay” to do what you know you shouldn’t, and spend some time with the next step…
5. Reframing – it is important to reframe your perception of not only the act of sabotage, but yourself. It is horrible to sneak in unplanned food. It’s not just wrong, but it is horrible – it is literally a flat tire when you’re looking gorgeous and on the road ready to hit the town. It is unacceptable. It is ridiculous to avoid devoting ten minutes of time to yourself to relax, to workout, to cook dinner. Even more.. it is horrible to keep myself from the pleasure I’d feel in achieving my goal.

Sabotaging ourselves, or allowing thers to sabotage us, is a problem that is much easier to solve than it is to identify.. but if we make it a point to always be focused and aware, we can stop it before it gets out of hand. A little awareness goes a long way!

Do you deal with sabotage? Do you have peers who sabotage you? How do you avoid sabotage? Let’s hear it!

5 Ways to Identify and Reject Sabotage is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. Q&A Wednesday: Sabotage From A Significant Other?
2. 101 Revolutionary Ways To Be Healthy
3. Three Great Ways To Exercise At Home

The FULL list of meal plans is currently available. Check it out and get your copy today!

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2011. | Permalink | 33 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: clean eating, emotional eating, sabotage, social eating, society

I know that’s pessimistic, but I’d much rather have the good times and skip the whole “Battle of Thanksgiving” between my will power and the candied yams, you feel me? Besides, since I don’t eat pork, and everything is cooked in pork or beef (I’m reminded of the Boondocks clip where Huey and Granddad argue about the “Pork Flavored Broccoli”), I’m often left eating lettuce and water while the person next to me enjoys their bacon flavored cornbread. Sigh.

Having said that, I think it’s time I shared a few tips that I plan on using to make sure that I don’t leave Thanksgiving with about 5lbs of food stuck ON me, and 5lbs of booty that I didn’t plan for. ‘Cause seriously — while booty is nice, I’m going to flip out if I leave with more than I came with. Just being honest.

1. Keep a glass of water on you at all times. Why? Firstly, water actually helps you fill up. Drinking water while you eat slows you down, and gives your body time to process the fact that food is being put into it. Since it takes your mind approximately 20 minutes to realize that your body is full, taking time to slow down and drink water (a vital part in weight loss, anyhow) will give your body time to realize what’s being put inside of it, and how much.
2. Portions, portions, portions! I know that Aunt Pookie (hey, I love my Aunt Pookie) has the world’s best scalloped potatoes, and I know that you love ‘em and all, but commit yourself to portion sizes no larger than the palm of your hand.
3. Put the satellite dish-sized plate down. I’m serious. You know y’all have those Thanksgiving-specific plates that are large enough to double as someone’s rims. Don’t do it to yourself. Stick to a regular sized plate, palm-sized portions, and allow yourself to try a bunch of different things… not simply overdoing it on the few things you love.
4. Leave the obviously-store-bought-stuff… alone. I jokingly asked this question on twitter, but I’m serious. Those store-bought pies, those boxed mashed potato flakes, the scalloped potatoes that come from the Betty Crocker magic elixir? Leave it alone. Why? Foods that are processed are, well, processed – genetically engineered to be easier to chew, not leave food in your teeth, or “fill you up.” Unfortunately, it only turns back into the same powder it originated from, with all the calories and none of the “full” feeling… leaving you not only still hungry after all those calories, but on a carb high, at that. That wonderful “melt in your mouth” feeling that M&Ms has convinced us is a good thing? It might be wonderful for chocolate… really not ideal when it comes to actual food.
5. Remember what the holiday is for. I know that’s a little pious, but just humor for me for a moment. If this is the one time that you get to see your younger nieces and nephews who are living out of state, and they’re forced to wait to be the last ones to eat (since they’re the youngest – you know how that goes), then stick behind and talk to them (while sipping your water) for a few moments. Play with the kids you don’t see as often as you like. Talk to your show-off cousin about his new car that he just bought, yet suspiciously has the “Avis” rental brochure still in the windshield. More talking, less eating. Entertain yourself!
6. Lastly, and this is a big one: Don’t listen to anyone telling you what you do or don’t need to do for you. If someone at the table tells you, “So… you got all kinds of booty, now!” or “Why is your plate so light? Let me fix you another plate, girl, you’re too skinny!” or even (as happened to me a few years back) “Gosh, I remember when you were younger… and skinny!” be polite. Keep your composure. I’m telling you it’ll happen and you’re reading this going “Mmhmm, I can hear it now.” Don’t let it derail your holiday, piss you off, and send you running in there to those magic elixir mashed potatoes. Get your joy from the people who know how to act, don’t be afraid to be mocked for trying to focus on your health during the holidays, and for crying out loud… don’t stress out to the point where it makes you emotionally eat. If there’s ONE thing you don’t need this time of year, it’s to emotionally eat. Kid in a candy store syndrome, and whatnot.

If you should happen to let it slip that you’re watching your figure, don’t let anyone tell you “Come on, live a little” as a response. Don’t accept that. You’re surrounded by family you don’t see as often as you like. Use this time to “live” by enjoying their company, sharing stories of strength and love, and amaze yourself with how the kids have grown since last time. The last thing you should be “living” through and for on Thanksgiving… is food. To be a little corny (or a lot), the food is mainly a side dish. The family should be the main course.

Be happy, be healthy!

My Personal Guide To Getting Through The Holidays is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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2. Beyoncé’s Personal Fitness Mantra: Do You Have One?
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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2011. | Permalink | 10 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: emotional eating, holidays, social eating

I was a server – even pinned as one of the best they had, thank you very much! – who occasionally donned a cape and tights and helped out the kitchen staff by handling some tasks they were too busy to manage. One of these, was plating the cheesecakes. That’s just taking the cheesecake out of the box (You didn’t think the cheesecake you paid only $7 for was made from scratch right there, did you?!), putting it on a plate, covering it with saran wrap, and setting it on a cold shelf.

At this restaurant in particular, the cheesecakes came from The Cheesecake Factory. And this box in particular had the nutrition information on the side. Apparently, 1 slice of cheesecake had.. oh, 954 calories and 56 grams of fat. Did your head explode? Mine did. I think I spent the rest of my shift picking up my face… and moving twice as fast through my tables to burn off that cheesecake I ate earlier that day.

Needless to say, you’re not thinking about any of that when you order, but is it the reason why you might be packing on the pounds? Below, I’ve listed things I’ve learned from being on both sides of the table, from franchise to fine dining.

Hey, it paid the bills.

Don’t dine out. You might think I’m kidding, but I’m not. I betcha five dollars your parents, at your age, didn’t eat outside of the home anywhere near as often as you do. Just take a moment to remind yourself that you DO have food in the house. Even though you may feel like eating a six course meal yet still don’t feel like COOKING a six course meal, this isn’t an excuse to hit the nearest sit-down restaurant. It’s a reason to drink a glass of water, and think of something quick and filling to cook at home.

Have the server bring you a to go box WITH your dinner upon arrival. Why? Split the dish in half, put half in the to go box, and put the to go box AWAY. Trust me – you won’t need to eat all of it at once.

Drink water – yes, water – throughout your time out. It takes about 20 minutes for your mind and body to connect on whether or not you’re full… so drinking water gives your body time to make this determination without it resulting in you being OVERstuffed. All bad.

Don’t order appetizers as dishes. I know, they feel like suuuuch a bargain – inexpensive in comparison to the rest of the menu, lots to offer, super yummy.. I know. They also carry enough calories for more than one person. Add to that the fact that almost all of ‘em are fried, creamy or coated in oil? You’re better off going back to #1 up there.

Skip the table breads, chips or crackers. The stuff they give you to tide you over until your order comes? Yeah, ignore that. You might even be better off asking them to take it away. By the time your appetizer has arrived (if you ordered one), you’ve eaten around an additional 300 calories. Restaurants do this because they know there’s sometimes a long wait time, so to keep you from ticking off the server they give you this. Not an awful idea, but definitely a hazard to someone trying to cut down.

Avoid the creamy and fried dishes. The creams and frying oils are nothing but an abundance of heavy excess unnatural fat. Be real with yourself – if you can’t split the dish in half and ONLY eat one half of it? Make some changes. Go for the red pasta sauce, or no sauce at all – skip the pasta altogether and find something else. Skip the chicken fingers or fried egg rolls, and opt for something lighter.

Drop the dressings and sauces. I know this ties into the previous point, but in a lot of cases, the additional dressings and sauces are just as many – if not more – calories as the dish itself withOUT the sauce. In many places, you can ask them to drop the sauce or the cream. I’m good for ordering a pasta with no alfredo (and I LOVE alfredo) and just getting noodles, chicken, a little butter, and lots of spices. Hey, it works for me. You might not need to be that drastic – you could opt for the tomato sauce, instead – but don’t feel bad or weird if you do.

Don’t dine alone. Go with friends, chat, enjoy yourself. Tying in with an above point, this gives your body time to process that food is being put inside of it, and if you let go of the “I must clean my plate” philosophy while really listening to your body, you’ll be surprised by how little you’ll actually eat.

If this seems logical-yet-way-too-restrictive for you, be sure to see point #1 again.

All jokes aside, you’ve got to be vigilant about being a healthy eater. So it means yes, you’ll need to be conscious of when your hand reaches for something you have no business eating. You’ll need to spend a little longer thinking about what you’ll eat. You’ll need to take some time  And considering how much assistance you’ll need from your waiter, be sure to tip them nicely for helping you make it through the night without gorging yourself. If you’re careful to avoid ordering the rough stuff on the menu, you might notice the healthier dishes are among the least expensive (no outrageous ingredients to justify the cost), so you should have enough money left over to drop something nice for the waiter.

How To Dine With Nutrition In Mind is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2010. | Permalink | 9 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: restaurants, saving money, social eating