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	<title>A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss &#187; health</title>
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	<description>Culturally Sound Tools, Tips, and Advice</description>
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		<title>Men And Your Weight</title>
		<link>http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/its-all-mental/men-and-your-weight/</link>
		<comments>http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/its-all-mental/men-and-your-weight/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 Jan 2012 15:07:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Erika Nicole Kendall</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[It's All Mental]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Op-Eds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perceptions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[selfishness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/?p=1305</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Y&#8217;know, I often wonder just how much of our body issues as women ...<p><a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/its-all-mental/men-and-your-weight/">Men And Your Weight</a> is a post from: <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>. Thanks for reading!</p>
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/42-23068962.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-1307" title="42-23068962" src="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/42-23068962-199x300.jpg" alt="" width="199" height="300" /></a>Y&#8217;know, I often wonder just how much of our body issues as women come from men.</p>
<p>Trying to attract men&#8230; or trying to keep a man&#8230; or trying to please a man.</p>
<p>This isn&#8217;t some man-hating thesis&#8230; I love my men just as much as the next hetero chick (or gay dude, for that matter) but for crying out loud, I have to set some boundaries in regards to just how much of my life revolves around them.</p>
<p>When I chat with women about fitness, we inevitably have the &#8220;boo&#8221; conversation.</p>
<p><em>&#8220;Hey&#8230; I&#8217;m just tryin&#8217; to get a boo.&#8221; </em></p>
<p><em>&#8220;Girl, you&#8217;re crazy. I get plenty of boos right now with all this booty and all these thighs!&#8221;</em></p>
<p>Then, you get your skinny minnies joining the conversation and pissing everybody off:</p>
<p><em>&#8220;I just want thicker thighs, but I can&#8217;t eat all that cornbread! I&#8217;m tired of being called skinny!&#8221;</em></p>
<p>Sure enough, we all leave the conversation a little more angry, a little more tired, and a little more depressed than when we entered.</p>
<p>I see three major issues, here.</p>
<p>Firstly, to the woman losing weight solely to get the man &#8211; once you get the man, are you pretty much done caring for and maintaining your body? Are you going to skip the working out and eating properly because you &#8220;got your boo?&#8221; I mean, really &#8211; talk about a bait and switch. We&#8217;d be mad as sin if he (or she?) only opened doors and pulled out chairs to make us swoon and once he felt like we were deep enough in love, gave up on that stuff. Find yourself valuable enough to be a person worth pleasing. If you&#8217;re at a point where appearance is important, be invested enough in pleasing yourself with your appearance&#8230; that you&#8217;ll work to maintain it for all time. Not just for now&#8230; or until he puts a ring on it. Sure enough, you&#8217;ll be forced to adopt healthier choices and everyone will be healthier in the long run.</p>
<p>Secondly, to the woman who believes she doesn&#8217;t need to lose weight specifically because all the men are praising her frame. There is nothing worse than a woman who uses outside validation as an excuse for not keeping herself in check. It&#8217;s one thing to appreciate outside validation (<em>&#8220;Oh, girl, you look great!&#8221;</em> or the <em>&#8220;Wow, you&#8217;re getting small!&#8221;</em>), but to use it as the basis and/or grounds for decisions in <em>my</em> personal life? Unacceptable.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s bad enough that society tells us, on a daily basis, that the end goal for women is [not a successful career, not a dope loft in a bustling metropolitan city, not even CEO status.. but] a happy family and a man. It&#8217;s bad enough that we keep being told &#8220;Have babies or your eggs will shrivel up to nothingness and you will be worthless, girl!&#8221; Letting men (or any outside factor, for that matter) play such a huge role in how concerned (or unconcerned, for that matter) we are with our overall health is just doing too much.</p>
<p>When I first started out on my own path for weight loss, I had a supportive boyfriend. He wasn&#8217;t pushing me in either direction &#8211; in fact, I think he knew this was a journey <em>I needed</em> to figure out on my own for me. I needed to stand on my own two feet emotionally. <em>I needed</em> to support myself. <em>I needed</em> to be my own cheerleader first, and allow the support of others to come second. I&#8217;m thankful for that, because our relationship didn&#8217;t last. I can only imagine where I&#8217;d be had he chosen otherwise and I&#8217;d relied on him to keep me focused, because heaven knows I wasn&#8217;t that emotionally stable when it came to self-care. I just now happen to have the hindsight to appreciate how things worked out for me, and how I developed an ability to spot what I needed (notice all the italicized &#8220;I needed&#8221;s in this paragraph.) and how important it was to make sure that I had what <em>I</em> needed emotionally. No one takes care of you better than you. Ever.</p>
<p>And speaking of hindsight, now I know that the &#8220;support from others&#8221; is not only conditional, but temporary. Since you, shrinking down in size, means you might be looking more like them/better than them, they become less and less likely to cheer you on in the future. Just like how I wrote about friendships either helping or hindering our efforts to be healthier, those friends might&#8217;ve been keeping you around because [in some sick and twisted way] you made them feel better about not being&#8230; like you. Becoming a healthier version of yourself &#8211; regardless of whether or not that includes weight loss &#8211; not only shines an uncomfortable light on their own habits, but makes people feel competitive. Especially if they saw you as beneath them.</p>
<p>Not saying everyone is like that, but dang if it didn&#8217;t happen. Please believe the <em>&#8220;Wow, you&#8217;re getting small!&#8221;</em>s eventually turn into <em>&#8220;Wow, you&#8217;re too skinny, now! Here, have some more [insert crap], girl. Eat up.&#8221; </em>and behind your back? It&#8217;s probably <em>&#8220;That bitch needs a cookie&#8230; or a cheeseburger.&#8221; </em></p>
<p>Now, I get questions like <em>&#8220;So are you dating much more now that you&#8217;ve lost weight?&#8221;</em> and get blank stares when I reply, &#8220;I&#8217;m not dating at all. I&#8217;m too focused on me right now to get to know anyone new.&#8221;</p>
<p><em>&#8220;Awww, girl, you&#8217;re wasting all that hard work!&#8221;</em></p>
<p>Aw, word? So.. my losing weight, escaping diabetes and hypertension, and changing my habits was&#8230; to expand my dating options? I mean, forget the fact that I wanted to make sure that if I needed to protect my child and I, I could. And forget the fact that I wanted to make sure that I&#8217;d be around long enough to see my grandchildren graduate college. And even forget the fact that I needed to know that I wasn&#8217;t actively contributing to my own demise all for the sake of something stupid like the <em>kind</em> of food I insisted on shoving down my throat.</p>
<p>My hard work was wasting because&#8230; I wasn&#8217;t dating. Priorities, people.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m convinced that there&#8217;s a conspiracy out there meant to prevent women from valuing themselves and their own opinions enough to be comfortable with shutting out society. Heaven forbid we be empowered enough to tell someone exactly where they &#8211; and their silly opinions &#8211; can go.</p>
<p>I think that we can all say that 80% of weight loss is eating properly. I think we can also say that for so many of us, our eating problems come from an emotional place. If there&#8217;s an emotional void, why allow someone other than ourselves to fill it? Why allow ourselves to rely on something or someone so flimsy?</p>
<p>Let&#8217;s be honest about it: no other person, no outside source of validation &#8211; whether you&#8217;re seeking that validation or already have that validation &#8211; can replace how we feel about ourselves&#8230; and if we feel like we need to tune up our habits, tighten up our physiques or eat better? Then we need to believe enough in ourselves, have enough faith in ourselves, and value our own opinions enough to make it happen. It&#8217;s as simple as that.</p>
 b!g(g)2*w@l#<p><a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/its-all-mental/men-and-your-weight/">Men And Your Weight</a> is a post from: <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>. Thanks for reading!</p>
<h6>Related posts:</h6><ol>
<li><a href='http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/its-all-mental/did-i-just-plateau-why-am-i-not-losing-weight/' rel='bookmark' title='Did I Just Plateau? Why Am I Not Losing Weight?'>Did I Just Plateau? Why Am I Not Losing Weight?</a></li>
<li><a href='http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/its-all-mental/5-reasons-why-you-wont-lose-weight/' rel='bookmark' title='5 Reasons Why You Won&#8217;t Lose Weight'>5 Reasons Why You Won&#8217;t Lose Weight</a></li>
<li><a href='http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/its-all-mental/weight-loss-is-for-people-with-low-self-esteem/' rel='bookmark' title='“Weight Loss Is For People With Low Self-Esteem”'>“Weight Loss Is For People With Low Self-Esteem”</a></li>
</ol><hr />
<h2><a title="Get your copy today!" href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/?p=18953">The FULL list of meal plans is currently available. Check it out and get your copy today!</a></h2>
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<p><small>© Erika for <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>, 2012. |
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		<title>An Open Letter To The Black Blogosphere</title>
		<link>http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/the-op-eds/an-open-letter-to-the-black-blogosphere/</link>
		<comments>http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/the-op-eds/an-open-letter-to-the-black-blogosphere/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Dec 2011 16:03:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Erika Nicole Kendall</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The Op-Eds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[black community]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[black culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[society]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wellness of black women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/?p=2428</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I'm tired of seeing these questions about why Black women are sooooooooooo fat...<p><a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/the-op-eds/an-open-letter-to-the-black-blogosphere/">An Open Letter To The Black Blogosphere</a> is a post from: <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>. Thanks for reading!</p>
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jfinnirwin/4118143162/"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-3542" title="aint-i-a-woman" src="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/aint-i-a-woman.jpg" alt="" width="317" height="500" /></a>Really, I suppose this is an open letter that could be addressed to anyone who casually takes on the topic of health and wellness&#8230; or even those who attack the topic with the sole intent of pushing a blatant angle.. I don&#8217;t know. I&#8217;m a stream of conscious writer.. so I doubt I&#8217;ll even go back and proofread this, let alone change the title to reflect anything different.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m just gonna cut to the chase. Sorry, in advance.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m tired of seeing these stupid blog topics that ask questions about why Black women are <em>sooooooooooo</em> fat.</p>
<p>You hear me? Stop it. Stop, stop, stop.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m tired of reading blog posts trivializing the health of Black women &#8211; not Americans, not even Black <em>people</em>&#8230; but Black women.</p>
<p>And if it were rooted in concern, truly willing and eager to gin up dialogue about what we&#8217;re all doing to make changes and how our efforts are working, I&#8217;d approve&#8230; but its not. It&#8217;s a bunch of people on one end of the spectrum holding up the other end of the spectrum as something to scientifically study. Holding your own up as collective <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Baartman">Hottentot Venuses</a>. &#8220;Why are you so&#8230; different? What the hell is wrong with you? You&#8217;re so intriguing&#8230; and unfortunate.&#8221;</p>
<p>And you know what <em>really</em> burns my whole wheat toast? Reading posts from people &#8211; usually Black men &#8211; about why and how white women manage to stay in such tip-top shape, but we &#8211; <em>ohhhh, us Black girls</em> &#8211; are just failing by and large.</p>
<p>If you&#8217;re going to discuss the shortcomings of Black women, can you do so without comparing us to another race? Particularly white women? Because while all you may see is a bunch of thin mints, <em>I</em> grew up watching many of these same girls and their disordered eating habits that they developed from their moms who had the same habits&#8230; trailing back to their great grandmothers who had <em>no problem</em> maintaining <em>their</em> petite figures&#8230; <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/food-101/the-chemical-processing-in-your-processed-foods/">yet, no one knows why its so hard <em>now</em></a>. You know how I know that? Because well over two-thirds of America is &#8220;overweight.&#8221;</p>
<p>Would you prefer that Black women be subjugated to feeling like they are literally &#8220;less than&#8221; because they&#8217;re not built like [insert any woman]? And would you be okay with us sticking our fingers down our throats and hoping to &#8220;even out&#8221; at the end of each day so that we can maintain figures pleasing enough to &#8220;get a husband?&#8221; (Or&#8230; perhaps you believe that eating disorders aren&#8217;t a Black girl thing? <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/the-op-eds/fat-girls-in-the-media-celebrating-obesity/">You&#8217;d be wrong</a>.) Would you prefer that we spend days not eating because it&#8217;s the quickest way to lose a few pounds before we go back to the gym to weigh in? Would you prefer that we subsist on liquid diets so that we can be thin like [insert a cover model]? &#8216;Cause trust me&#8230; that&#8217;s what a lot of these white girls suffer from. Unhealthy body images and horrid nutrition&#8230; but damn if they aren&#8217;t skinny.</p>
<p>And don&#8217;t get me wrong &#8211; Black women suffer from unhealthy body images, too &#8211; but that&#8217;s because we&#8217;re so busy trying to conform to the same immature title that <em>you</em> give us when you&#8217;re trying to get in our good graces: <em>thick</em>. We&#8217;re <em>so</em> busy trying to be &#8220;thick&#8221; &#8211; like those white girls are trying <em>so hard</em> to be &#8220;thin&#8221; &#8211; that <em>both</em> groups ignore their own actual <em>health </em>in the process. Did you ever think of that? Or were you too busy whining about the lack of women available to serve as your personal eye candy?</p>
<p>No one ever takes a serious look at why the weight problem is so prevalent. No one ever asks the hard questions about the food we eat, the drinks we enjoy, the lives we lead. No one ever says that there&#8217;s an inordinate amount of stress on these women &#8211; the same women who are likely to be heads of their households or, even, the <em>only</em> adult in their household &#8211; and that there&#8217;s something fundamentally wrong with the fact that we&#8217;re raised to put everyone and everything before ourselves and our own mental and physical wellness. No one addresses the fact that we, by and large, tend to feel guilty for taking time away from family to &#8220;be vain&#8221; and work out. No one is stepping up and saying &#8220;I&#8217;ll watch the little ones while you go work out for an hour,&#8221; they&#8217;re just saying &#8220;You&#8217;re gettin&#8217; kinda thick, huh?&#8221;</p>
<p>No one is telling these women &#8220;Sugar makes you fat,&#8221; nor are they telling these women &#8220;If you&#8217;re still buying processed foods, that same sugar is in <em>everything</em>.&#8221; We&#8217;re expected to be superwomen&#8230; we&#8217;re also expected to be freaking food scientists. No one is telling us &#8220;Your food intake should consist of real food,&#8221; just feeding us that continual BS line about how calories in need to be less than calories out and <em>everything</em> in moderation.. because that stupid equation has <em>everything</em> to do with mental and physical wellness. Because it doesn&#8217;t matter <em>where</em> calories come from. Just lose the weight so that we don&#8217;t have to look at it&#8230; no matter how clogged your arteries are or how close you are to developing type 2 diabetes. How&#8230; uninformed.</p>
<p>And it&#8217;s so funny&#8230; because we always disregard the very legitimate reasons <em>why</em> Black women are carrying more weight as &#8220;excuses.&#8221; We can&#8217;t bring up the very real issues in hopes that we can dialogue about how to provide solutions? It&#8217;s automatically written off as &#8220;Stop trying to give these broads excuses for being fat. Get over it and go work out.&#8221; Do you know that people work out every day and don&#8217;t lose a single pound because they have poor nutrition information? There are people out there who know nothing about wellness&#8230; and they have to learn&#8230; and obviously, you aren&#8217;t the ones to teach them.</p>
<p>If I talk about the stress levels of Black women, it&#8217;s automatically shrugged off as &#8220;Everyone is stressed out. So what?&#8221; So, um, look at the stats &#8211; two thirds of America is also overweight, as well. It&#8217;s not the issue of stress &#8211; it&#8217;s an issue of stress management. That needs to be addressed. If I talk about access to food and the value we place on proper food as a culture&#8230; that&#8217;s not an issue to be shrugged off. Not everything is an excuse meant to remove a topic from discussion. It&#8217;s being brought up because it demands an answer&#8230; and if you aren&#8217;t prepared to give answers, you aren&#8217;t prepared to address the topic. Period.</p>
<p>And don&#8217;t even get me started on the comments. Ohhhhh, the comments. They just devolve into a fat girl guilt fest&#8230; where every Black woman who feels guilty about having a few extra pounds feels the need to come out of the woodwork <em>admitting</em> to everyone that she&#8217;s got &#8220;a few extra pounds&#8221; and feels helpless&#8230; and then some moron comes out with completely ludicrous &#8220;diet&#8221; advice&#8230; or said &#8220;diet&#8221; advice is in the actual post. (It&#8217;s also usually something to the effect of &#8220;work out more, eat less&#8221; &#8211; eat less of WHAT?) So not only does the original post do nothing to help Black women, but the comments usually result in piss poor advice and guilting of Black women and the perpetuation of poor body image. Shoutout to being the most counterproductive conversations on the Internet. No, really.</p>
<p>The reality is&#8230; every time I read one of these moronic blog posts railing Black women for having weight <em>anywhere</em> other than their booties &#8211; and don&#8217;t let your booty be toooooooo big, lest you be called Precious &#8211; the writer makes it evident to me that even if they DID take the time to educate their readers on what <em>they</em> think proper nutrition is&#8230; it&#8217;d be clear they suffer from the same lack of knowledge as everyone else. Fat or skinny.</p>
<p>Stop mocking Black women with pictures of men masquerading as women in fat suits &#8211; is that what you think of us? &#8211; and pictures of half naked poorly dressed women. Stop cracking jokes about our health and minimalizing it into issues of being unattractive or needing to &#8220;be like white women.&#8221; Beneath that &#8220;strong Black woman&#8221; meme that you insist on thrusting upon us lies a woman who is sensitive, sometimes confused and maybe even &#8211; dare I say it? &#8211; insecure about her body&#8230; and using these women for traffic to your pathetic little blog does <em>nothing</em> for the cause you claim to be so concerned about. Trust me.</p>
 b!g(g)2*w@l#<p><a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/the-op-eds/an-open-letter-to-the-black-blogosphere/">An Open Letter To The Black Blogosphere</a> is a post from: <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>. Thanks for reading!</p>
<h6>Related posts:</h6><ol>
<li><a href='http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/the-op-eds/an-open-letter-to-skinny-women/' rel='bookmark' title='An Open Letter To Skinny Women'>An Open Letter To Skinny Women</a></li>
<li><a href='http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-news/first-lady-obama-puts-daughters-on-diet-blogosphere-goes-nuts/' rel='bookmark' title='First Lady Obama &#8220;Puts Daughters On Diet,&#8221; Blogosphere Goes Nuts'>First Lady Obama &#8220;Puts Daughters On Diet,&#8221; Blogosphere Goes Nuts</a></li>
<li><a href='http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/its-all-mental/dying-for-motivation-an-open-thread/' rel='bookmark' title='Dying For Motivation: An Open Thread'>Dying For Motivation: An Open Thread</a></li>
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<h2><a title="Get your copy today!" href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/?p=18953">The FULL list of meal plans is currently available. Check it out and get your copy today!</a></h2>
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<p><small>© Erika for <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>, 2011. |
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		<title>Fat Prejudice In Health Care: Revisited</title>
		<link>http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-and-health-care/fat-prejudice-in-health-care-revisited/</link>
		<comments>http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-and-health-care/fat-prejudice-in-health-care-revisited/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Dec 2011 16:03:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Erika Nicole Kendall</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health and Health Care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[doctors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/?p=15865</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A look at how being overweight colors the quality of health care we receive.<p><a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-and-health-care/fat-prejudice-in-health-care-revisited/">Fat Prejudice In Health Care: Revisited</a> is a post from: <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>. Thanks for reading!</p>
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This story actually mad me mildly nauseous. I just&#8230; my heart goes out to Drea for <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-and-health-care/doctors-bedside-manner-and-weight-fat-prejudice-in-health-care/">what she wrote</a> below:</p>
<blockquote><p><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-15870" title="ambulance" src="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/ambulance.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="201" />These stories are heartbreaking. brings me back to the time it happened to me. My regular doctor is cool…..nicest guy you can meet, no issues with him. The problem started when I was hopsitalized for diverticulitis. the first time I had the infection was in 2003. I went six years without incident until September of 2009. This time my doctor referred my to a gastroentorologist to discuss surgery. Again, great doctor, no issue with him. He recommended surgery to remove the affected part of my colon ( a little over a foot). This is where it all went to hell. The surgeon I was referred to was the damn devil. Comes in the room, doesn’t look at me, says I’m morbidly obese ( at 5′ 5″ 252 lbs he was right) and that although he’s a minimally invasive surgeon, i should be prepared to be cut wide open becuase of the excess fat around my waist.I sit there crying like a baby, terrified, and he just says well….you kinda did it to yourself. He walks out the room saying its in my best interest to lose all the weight i can in the next few weeks.</p>
<p>Fast forward four week,down ten pounds, prepping for surgery. The surgery was supposed to take four hours. After nine hours, I wake up to find out I had an active infection at the time of the surgery and they couldn’t reconnect everything. Here I am, 25 years old, mother of 2, with an ileostomy bag on my side. I was devastated.</p>
<p>After the surgery i was put in the CCU because my heart reacted poorly to the length of the surgery. For 3 days my heart rate was between 170-180 bpm at all times. The first day after surgery my surgeon comes in and tells me how in a billion years of practice i was the worst surgery he ever had to do, how i’m a selfish mother because i don’t take care of myself and i almost left my children motherless. In a room full of interns, nurses and residents, no less. All I could do was cry and cry.</p>
<p>It didn’t end with the doctor either. The nurses in the CCu were just as bad if not worse. After the 2nd day, my catheter was removed in an attempt to get me out of bed. By the way, he cut me wide open, from navel to my c-section scar, 29 staples, so i was in an insane amount of pain. The anesthesiologist had to come twice to bump my morphine up because I was screaming in pain. I’m no lightweight, believe me. i was 46 hours in labor with my daughter, no epidural. But this pain, was something esle. Back to the subject.</p>
<p>Once I was able to move around I asked a nurse to remove my morphine drip for a second while I go to the bathroom. After that painful five foot journey, I rang that nurses bell about a hundred times only to hear ( and see) the nurses talkin about me. One was like “oh I’m on break, she can wait” and the other said”well that’s what you get when you let urself go and then want gastric bypass”……WTF? Finally the b&#8212;- walks on and says sweetly what do you need? And i SNAPPED. “How about giving me my f&#8212;&#8212; morphine? I’ve been here for 30 minutes with no pain relief cuz you want to make fun of big people? Did you read my f&#8212;&#8212; chart? And even if i was here for gastric bypass, who gives a f&#8212;? Why are you a f&#8212;&#8212; nurse if you have no interest in helping people in pain? F&#8212;&#8212; B&#8212;-!!!!!!!” ( Totally not proud of myself but she had it coming)</p>
<p>I was enraged. Just becuase i was overweight she assumed I was there for vain reasons. Even worse was the surgeon who made it a point to tell me what a piece of shit i was inside and out (literally). He had no interest in curing my illness…..just degrading me. A few weeks later during my follow up, I let his ass have it too. He was actually proud of himself for “getting thru to me with tough love”. He got his dose of mouth, trust me but i had to get another surgery with him six weeks later to remove the bag. SO i saved most of it for that last follow up. Let’s just say in short…..I was escorted out of the building. He never saw it coming. he got it worse than that nurse did.</p>
<p>Now its a little over a year later (surgery was Feb. 2010), and it’s been a traumatizing experience. I’ve lost some weight since then, but I think back on it and it actually hinders my progress because i can;t get all those comments out of my head. My motivation was to prove them wrong. But that will do nothing for me, and they won’t give a rat’s ass just like they didn;t give a rat’s ass before. Reading this blog, I finally see the work I need to do inside, so my journey is renewed. I thank you for that Erika, I truly do.</p>
<p>Fat discrimation is so present, and even in instances like this where the emphasis should be on help, its only worse. I should’ve told him to f%$# himself after that first consulation. We, people of all shapes and sizes, deserve respect and care and compassion like everyone else. And if they, as doctors, can;t get off their high horses to do the job they swore to do, then its up to us to knock them off their high horses. Bet you he won’t be talking to another patient like that again.</p></blockquote>
<p>I&#8217;ve got <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-and-health-care/doctors-bedside-manner-and-weight-fat-prejudice-in-health-care/#comment-15605">one more</a>, from Adrianne:</p>
<blockquote><p>I experienced poor medical treatment with an OB/GYN. He was extremely popular (it took weeks to get an appointment) and seemed really proud of the “thousands” of women he’d “helped.” He was recommended by my GP because I’d been experiencing unnaturally painful periods for months that she suspected might be related to fibroids or endometriosis and this doctor was considered an “expert” on the issue.</p>
<p>At our first meeting, he immediately harped on my weight and said that any reproductive problems I had were because of my “excessive” weight. My husband came for support, but the doctor said that he was glad my husband was there because “women should not make reproductive decisions without their spouses.” I was like, hey, nobody said a darn thing about babies. Plus my husband and I had decided long ago that babymaking wasn’t in our future. I mentioned that and he immediately pooh-poohed that and said, “You’ll change your mind but it will be nearly impossible to conceive at your weight and if you do, you’ll be high risk.” He also said that even if hysterectomy was my best medical option, he refused to do that on women as long as they were of childbearing age.</p>
<p>I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. He listened to NOTHING I said. Dr. Giggles had a better bedside manner! I should’ve walked away then, but I was so desperate to relieve my symptoms and he was supposed to be the “best.”</p>
<p>The final straw was in the middle of a follow-up visit, he said he wanted to do a uterine biopsy. He failed to explain why that was necessary but said that it wouldn’t be as invasive as a pap smear. Well, I’ve had those before and while uncomfortable, are usually bearable. There is a HUGE difference between grabbing cultures for a smear and actually REMOVING tissue for testing. It was terribly painful. When I started crying, the nurse that was present immediately grabbed my hand. When I practically broke it, she said with horror in her voice, “Did you take any pain meds? It shouldn’t hurt this bad.” I told her I didn’t know he was going to do this. She gave him the meanest look. The doctor said, “Please, this procedure used to require an overnight stay in the hospital. You should be glad you can go home today.” I had no idea walking into that appointment that day that I would be having a surgical procedure! Before he left, while I was still in tears, he instructed the nurse to give me a maxi pad, telling her to do her best to “find one that will fit.”</p>
<p>Needless to say, after that I went back to my GP and asked for another referral. My new doctor was so wonderful, she made me realize just how awful the prior one was and I got angry. I made a lengthy complaint to my state medical board and told them that I would follow up to make sure that my complaint had been taken seriously. They definitely paid attention when I mentioned that a surgical procedure was performed on me without prior notice. He received a formal letter regarding the complaint, but he was not censured. I don’t think he lost sleep over it, but it at least made me feel better about standing up for myself and perhaps if the next person he mistreats makes a complaint, there will be record to back them up.</p></blockquote>
<p>Here&#8217;s what&#8217;s so interesting to me.</p>
<p>The stigma surrounding &#8220;fat people&#8221; in this country is affecting the quality of care they receive&#8230; does it ever color the context of the care they receive, though? For example, a doctor who paints weight loss surgery as being the end all be all of an obese patient&#8217;s problems just because that doctor believes that&#8217;s the only thing that would compel them to lose weight&#8230; instead of realistically telling them &#8220;Yes, you&#8217;ll lose weight, but to keep it off you&#8217;ll need to&#8230;&#8221; If a doctor believes an overweight person is merely slovenly, sloppy and lazy&#8230; do you think they&#8217;d intentionally change the context of the advice they&#8217;d give simply because they don&#8217;t think the patient would even bother, &#8220;with their lazy asses?&#8221;</p>
<p>I look at Drea&#8217;s comment, and the context of the care she received &#8211; a woman <em>not</em> there for any weight-related surgery who can&#8217;t help but be chastized and penalized for being an overweight woman who needs care &#8211; and I cringe. The care she received was as if she were a lesser than &#8211; she needed &#8220;tough love.&#8221; She needed &#8220;straight talk.&#8221; She didn&#8217;t deserve the compassion we usually receive from our health care practitioners. With Adrianne, it&#8217;s almost as if anything she had to say about her own body didn&#8217;t matter, because &#8220;she didn&#8217;t know how to take care of it, anyway.&#8221; And really, the commentary about child rearing?</p>
<p>I know there are sites like <a href="http://fathealth.wordpress.com/">Fat Health</a> that share these stories&#8230; but I feel like this still serves a place, here. How do we combat this? How do we deal with this? And furthermore, is there anyone out there with resources or advice on how to report and fight against this? Because the care that my girl up there received is&#8230; abhorrent. Downright.</p>
 b!g(g)2*w@l#<p><a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-and-health-care/fat-prejudice-in-health-care-revisited/">Fat Prejudice In Health Care: Revisited</a> is a post from: <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>. Thanks for reading!</p>
<h6>Related posts:</h6><ol>
<li><a href='http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-and-health-care/doctors-bedside-manner-and-weight-fat-prejudice-in-health-care/' rel='bookmark' title='Doctors, Bedside Manner, and Weight: Fat Prejudice in Health Care'>Doctors, Bedside Manner, and Weight: Fat Prejudice in Health Care</a></li>
<li><a href='http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/what-are-you-eating/the-trouble-with-genetically-engineered-foods-revisited/' rel='bookmark' title='The Trouble With Genetically Engineered Foods, Revisited'>The Trouble With Genetically Engineered Foods, Revisited</a></li>
<li><a href='http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-and-health-care/200lb-3rd-grader-put-in-foster-care-because-of-his-weight/' rel='bookmark' title='200lb 3rd Grader Put In Foster Care Because Of His Weight'>200lb 3rd Grader Put In Foster Care Because Of His Weight</a></li>
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<p><small>© Erika for <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>, 2011. |
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		<title>Can You Be Fit AND &#8220;Fat?&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-news/can-you-be-fit-and-fat/</link>
		<comments>http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-news/can-you-be-fit-and-fat/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 14 Oct 2011 13:20:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Erika Nicole Kendall</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Debunking The Myths]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[<p>From NBC Nightly News, I bring you this delicate little issue with the ...<p><a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-news/can-you-be-fit-and-fat/">Can You Be Fit AND &#8220;Fat?&#8221;</a> is a post from: <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>. Thanks for reading!</p>
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>From NBC Nightly News, I bring you this delicate little issue with the sensational little title.</p>
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<p>My thoughts were, of course you can be fit and &#8220;fat.&#8221; And considering how &#8220;fat&#8221; in America is anything over a size 4 &#8211; depending upon who you talk to &#8211; MANY of us are &#8220;fat&#8221; in someone else&#8217;s eyes&#8230; clearly that doesn&#8217;t matter anywhere near as much as the stuff that keeps us alive. That stuff is filed under that &#8220;fit&#8221; label.</p>
<p>Those who I&#8217;ve dialogued with outside of the site know how I feel about this &#8220;fat&#8221; thing. As I&#8217;ve said before, my primary goal was just being a healthy weight. The vanity aspect of it came when I could afford to be vain and think about looks.. which, basically, was when I had my health situated.</p>
<p>There&#8217;s a point in that clip that disturbed me, though &#8211; the thinner woman said, &#8220;Because I am thin, because I&#8217;ve never been sick,&#8221; she never thought that her system could be in such bad shape because her body wasn&#8217;t in bad shape. I think that the American understanding that our &#8220;outer&#8221; is a direct reflection of our &#8220;inner&#8221; is what&#8217;s making it so hard for us to have these conversations about health.</p>
<p>What do I mean? I mean that we keep connecting a person&#8217;s size to their ability to be healthy. It shortchanges the people on both ends of the spectrum. If being obese is the epitome of poor health, then if I&#8217;m superskinny I should be good, right? I should be able to avoid all of that, right? Ever heard of metabolic syndrome?</p>
<p><a href="https://health.google.com/health/ref/Metabolic+syndrome">Metabolic syndrome</a> is a series of diseases that appear in the body in conjunction with one another as a result of a poor diet yet doesn&#8217;t always result in obesity. It creeps up on people because, since they believe their small frames alleviate them of the responsibility of caring for their systems, they tend to not only ignore any warning signs that their habits might be unhealthy but this also results in them continuing in said damaging behavior!</p>
<p>I guess I wanted to share this because I want us to stop thinking this skinny/fat thing is so linear. Good health manifests itself within ourselves mentally as well as physically. It extends itself far beyond a nice body. Taking care of ourselves means inside as WELL as outside. Don&#8217;t let yourselves get caught up in BEING skinny or shooting for skinny. Aim for better health first and foremost, and I can assure you everything else will become MUCH simpler!</p>
 b!g(g)2*w@l#<p><a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-news/can-you-be-fit-and-fat/">Can You Be Fit AND &#8220;Fat?&#8221;</a> is a post from: <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>. Thanks for reading!</p>
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<p><small>© Erika for <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>, 2011. |
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		<title>Study: 5 Markers For Preventing Type 2 Diabetes</title>
		<link>http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-news/study-5-markers-for-preventing-type-2-diabetes/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 10 Sep 2011 09:29:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Erika Nicole Kendall</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health News]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[Five markers of a lifestyle that can protect one from type-2 diabetes.<p><a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-news/study-5-markers-for-preventing-type-2-diabetes/">Study: 5 Markers For Preventing Type 2 Diabetes</a> is a post from: <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>. Thanks for reading!</p>
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Seen on CNN:</p>
<blockquote><p><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-18898" title="600-01109726" src="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/woman-running-200x300.jpg" alt="" width="200" height="300" />The question we were trying to raise is whether there are added benefits to each individual lifestyle improvement you make, and it looks like that answer is definitely yes, says Jared Reis, Ph.D., the lead author of the study and an epidemiologist with the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute in Bethesda, Maryland. The strength of the association was really very dramatic and quite surprising.</p>
<p>Reis and his colleagues analyzed data from more than 200,000 men and women in eight states who are part of a long-running study on diet and health led by the National Cancer Institute. In the mid-1990s, when they ranged in age from 50 to 71 and showed no signs of serious illness, the study participants answered detailed questionnaires about their diet, lifestyle, medical history, physical characteristics and demographic profile.</p>
<p>Ten years later, roughly 9% of the men and women had developed diabetes. Those who were least likely to receive a diabetes diagnosis shared five key health attributes:</p>
<p><strong>Normal weight.</strong> They were not overweight or obese, and maintained a body mass index below 25 (a threshold equivalent to 155 pounds for a 5-foot, 6-inch woman).</p>
<p><strong>Nonsmoking.</strong> They had never been regular smokers, or they&#8217;d been smoke-free for at least 10 years.</p>
<p><strong>Physically active.</strong> They got at least 20 minutes of heart-pounding, sweat-inducing exercise three or more times per week.</p>
<p><strong>Healthy diet.</strong> They consumed a diet with lots of fiber, little trans fat, few refined or sugary carbohydrates, and a high ratio of good (polyunsaturated) to bad (saturated) fats.</p>
<p><strong>Little to no drinking.</strong> They used alcohol in moderation, if at all &#8212; two drinks or less a day for men, and one drink or less for women.</p>
<p>Each additional attribute was associated, on average, with 31% and 39% lower odds of developing diabetes among men and women, respectively. People who met all five standards had roughly 80% lower odds of a diabetes diagnosis than demographically similar people who led less healthy lifestyles, according to the study, which was published in the Annals of Internal Medicine.</p>
<p>Of all five lifestyle factors, being overweight was linked most strongly to diabetes risk. But having healthy marks for the other four factors still made a difference in overall risk, regardless of whether a person was normal weight, overweight or obese.</p>
<p>It isn&#8217;t always an easy thing to lose weight and to maintain that weight loss over the long term, Reis says. So this is good news for those individuals who have a tough time losing weight: You can still lower your risk with these other lifestyle changes.</p>
<p>With questionnaire-based studies like this one, there&#8217;s always a chance that the participants don&#8217;t accurately report their behavior, or that the results are skewed by health and lifestyle factors that the researchers haven&#8217;t taken into account.</p>
<p>But in this case, the study&#8217;s large, real-world population &#8212; as opposed to the smaller, strictly monitored groups typically found in clinical trials &#8212; may actually be a strength, says Robert Henry, M.D., the president of medicine and science at the American Diabetes Association, an advocacy organization based in Alexandria, Virginia.</p>
<p>This study looked at factors we know can be easily modifiable, and the conditions that people actually live with in real life, says Henry, who is also a professor of endocrinology and metabolism at the University of California-San Diego. And it does that better than some of the diligently done clinical trials that may not be applicable to a normal lifestyle situation.</p>
<p>The study also found that maintaining the five lifestyle factors lowers diabetes risk regardless of family history, suggesting that people with a genetic predisposition can still prevent or at least delay the onset of the disease.</p></blockquote>
<p>As was shared here before, <a title="The [Extremely Thorough and Rather Compelling] Case Against Sugar" href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/food-101/the-extremely-thorough-and-rather-compelling-case-against-sugar/">my personal belief is to stick with Dr. Lustig</a>. (Specifically around the 1:20:00 mark.) Not only do you not have to catch it, but barring certain mitigating factors, no one has to live with it forever, either.</p>
<p>Thoughts?</p>
 b!g(g)2*w@l#<p><a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/health-news/study-5-markers-for-preventing-type-2-diabetes/">Study: 5 Markers For Preventing Type 2 Diabetes</a> is a post from: <a href="http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com">A Black Girl&#039;s Guide To Weight Loss</a>. Thanks for reading!</p>
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