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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

“Motivation As We Know It Isn’t Motivation At All”

Re-approaching motivation and how to stop waiting for it. ...
by Erika Nicole Kendall

So, on this post, this happened:

I can vouch for this. Motivation as we know it isn’t motivation at all.

I write and I run. Writers spend more time bemoaning their lack of motivation to write than actually writing. It’s far easier to whinge into the ether than to pick up a pen and just *write*.

Runners spend far more time bemoaning their lack of motivation to run than actually running. It’s far easier… you see where I’m going with this.

If we wait around for this magical ‘motivation’, we’d be waiting a hell of a long time. Back in 2008, I became a massive gym bunny because I was ‘motivated’ by heartbreak. And when I was happy again, I stopped going to the gym. My last big ‘motivation’ was training for a half marathon early this year with a team of people, and raising money. And when that was done, I struggled with my running.

Truth was, I wanted to lose weight anyway, but decided to row/run/lift my feelings away instead of eating them. In the second case, I needed to be prepared for a race, and to get people to see I was serious so they’d give my team money. So I agree that ‘motivation’ as we know it is a myth. That wasn’t motivation; it was context.

You have to find a constant source of inspiration in yourself, and that can’t be found in one circumstance or feeling. Those things have a nasty habit of changing.

When you want to sit on the couch and eat Skittles for dinner, or wait for inspiration to strike, chances are you’re thinking about how you could be actually DOING THE DAMN THING instead of talking yourself out of it. And you probably feel a bit guilty too, but that’s still not enough to make you stop and do the right thing.

I’d say that if you’re thinking about doing it, then you’re already in a state of being motivated. Awareness of a need or want to change, and desire to make it happen.*That* is motivation. Hoooowwwwever…

If you’re waiting for the rocket-powered insatiable urge to do it – that thing we wrongly call ‘motivation’ instead, which gets us off the couch – it’s not gonna happen. I think what people really want to know is ‘OK, I have that desire; how do I turn it up to 11′? I’d suggest that you don’t. You can’t operate on full throttle all the time, but you do have to step (or vault) over the hurdle marked ‘I Don’t Wanna’ consistently and often enough to make your action-to-change a habit.

Stop thinking in terms of motivation, and think in terms of DOING. And, like my fellow writers and runners, your best bet is to stop thinking so much and just take action. You don’t need anyone else to affirm your reasons why!

I have to thank Ruby – clearly both a writer and a runner – for sharing this because she said, rather succinctly, what I’ve been scribbling in my journal for almost a month, trying to figure out how to say it.

Think of how much I love yoga. I mean, I love it. Think of how much you love your favorite thing, then double that love. That’s how much I love yoga. I sleep at night cradling my yoga mat.

Not really… well, maybe… whatever. Let’s not talk about that.

But even still, if I stop to think about whether or not I should roll out my mat and get to work, chances are… I won’t. I already knew I should’ve – that’s why I had the inclination to roll it out and strike a pose in the first place. Stopping to think about whether or not I should was simply the set up for me to talk myself out of it. I suspect a lot of people face this exact same situation, and it plays out this exact same way.

I’m also mindful of the “I exercised my feelings, not ate them” mentality too, but – again, just like Ruby said – what happens when you’re no longer feeling those feelings that compelled you to work out? You still need to be active for your health, no? You still need to be able to just get up, roll out your yoga mat, grab your weights, put on your kicks, grab your blades, whatever it may be today and head out the door. Not because you’re motivated to “show your ex that he shouldn’t've dropped this fine piece of chocolate,” and not because you need to workout your feelings instead of eat them. Can it be a better coping mechanism for pain than eating? Absolutely. You just also have to have a backup plan for how you’re going to get up off of your tail and go after everything is said and done, and you’re no longer hurting.

THIS, I believe, is why so many of us say “just do it” or “it’s in you.” Because, quite frankly, at the end of all the drama, the emotions, the whining and the excuse-making… it is, in fact, in YOU. It’s about YOU getting up off the couch. It’s about YOU getting dressed and heading out. It’s about YOU still doing what you need to do to get the body you want and to maintain it. After everything is said and done, it’s about you making that decision.

Like I said before, “motivation” is a completely made up concept. It’s what we use to explain why there are people in this world who willingly run 15-20 miles for fun, while we hang out at home. It’s just not as big a deal as we try to make it. And, even if it were, no one should be waiting around for it. Just don’t think about it… just get up and go. I promise you’ll be happier for it.

7 Responses to ““Motivation As We Know It Isn’t Motivation At All””

  1. 1

    Thank you Ruby and Erika! This is exactly what I have been struggling with. There are days that doing the 4 am workout is a no brainer…and days when I just get up and lay on the couch. I am working on being consistent instead of always having to be motivated. This was a great post!

    Reply
  2. Stefanie
    2

    I’d say that if you’re thinking about doing it, then you’re already in a state of being motivated. Awareness of a need or want to change, and desire to make it happen.*That* is motivation.

    Amen!

    Thanks for that. I have a lot of good ideas that come to mind on a daily basis. Put it into action. One step at a time, right?

    Reply
  3. 3

    I used to work with (and date but that’s another story for another day) a trainer and he used to tell me all the time to stop worrying about motivation and think about my life, my health and my reality. For a long time I had no idea what he meant, but then after years of struggling with a thyroid disorder and still working out even though working out never led to visible results I realized what he meant. Ultimately, our motivation is short term. Like you said, if you are already thinking about or wanting to so something, you’re motivated. When it comes to fitness, eating right, being healthy, etc, you want to get to a point where it just is what it is…Where you don’t need motivation to get there. It’s part of your life and what you do to keep yourself healthy. If you’re always looking for motivation, then you’re always looking for the “why” of what you’re doing. If you’ve reached your goal weight, your goal size, your goal look, your goal ______ then your “why” can get cloudy. It’s at those moments that doing what you do because it’s just a part of you becomes important. You won’t necessarily have motivation to fall back on during those moments. In my experience, it has to become about being able to dig into yourself and just do it as you said. That’s exactly why people say, “Just do it”. Motivation isn’t always there, inspiration isn’t always there, but you, yourself and you are always there.

    Reply
  4. Rachel
    4

    I think about this in a similar fashion as I do all other things that are important to the daily (yes daily!) maintenance of my life. I don’t need to feel motivated to sleep because it’s just something I do. It helps me maintain balance, energy and leaves me feeling ready to face the day each morning. I also don’t need to feel motivated to eat, or brush my teeth, or shower –> these are things that happen daily that I don’t need to be conscious to do. They just happen because it is ingrained in me that these things are important and necessary for me to carry my day out as I would like it to. It can be more difficult with exercise and healthy eating, but it takes time to teach children to like and enjoy vegetables, to take care when washing behind their ears, lol, etc etc. It’s the same with us as adults, it takes time for things to become habit, but once they are, you’ll find yourself feeling ‘off’ or ‘disoriented’ when you miss a workout or stop eating clean. These feelings keep us in check and BECOME our motivation to get back on track. If we can just get to that point, that’s all the motivation we need. Best of luck everyone!

    Reply
  5. kelley
    5

    Oh I love this read.I agree totally. Wish I weren’t typing on my phone so i could write a paragraph long response. But now….I am ready for my morning Zumba whether I feel like it or not!!!

    Reply
  6. Summer
    6

    Oh my! Ouch! I really needed to read this today. After years of getting on and off the track (mainly because of my on and off relationship with my husband – another story!) and using my relationship as a motivation, I just need to do it. Most days I don’t have energy and I whine and complain that I don’t have any motivation. Well now I know I do have motivation because I am constantly thinking of exercising, eating right, organizing and umpteen different things. I just need to do it. But, therein lies the problem. Doing it. How do you “do it” if you have no energy? How do you just push through? Where do you even start if you have so much to do? What is the first step?

    Reply
  7. The BodyCare RN
    7

    Thanks for writing this. I had an a-ha moment! I’ve struggled to start my own business for this very reason…waiting for something to motivate me into action! Even when it came to our worst and my spouse was laid off for a year, that still didn’t put me into action. Somehow this article has turned on my lightbulb and had me realize that I do just need to do the DAMN thing! And not think about it…whatever it is, Thanks again!!

    Reply

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