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Thursday, September 8, 2011
5 Reasons Why You Won’t Lose Weight
by Erika Nicole Kendall
When I listen to the different comments and e-mails that I receive, there are sometimes things that I want to say, but wont. Why? Because people come here to share and understand that they aren’t alone in the way they think and feel about certain issues regarding wellness and weight loss.
But every now and again, I read something that makes me want to toss my head against my desk – not too hard, but hard enough – because they’re either mistakes I’ve made before… or mistakes I make now (and realize it while reading someone else’s words)… or mistakes I haven’t made and probably would’ve made in the future if I weren’t thinking consciously.
So.. having said that… consider this my collective screaming, shouting, and fussing from a year’s worth of e-mails and comments where y’all just know you are wrong. You know you are. Hopefully you’ll giggle with me a little, and come on out of the woodwork admitting how you know you’re wrong.
1) You put off an activity today, for whatever reason, because you can “just do it tomorrow.”
Say it with me. This… is BS. Let me tell you what happens. You get home. You’re tired. You’re worn out. You’re angry. Whatever. Instead of using your pending workout at something to energize you and destress you, you put it off by saying “Oh, I’ll just tack it on to tomorrow’s workout.” You know what happens now: either you skip tomorrow’s workout as well, or you do finish tomorrow’s workout, forgetting the part you were supposed to tack on.
The problem with this is that it’s an excuse. It’s allowing you to excuse very big parts of your routine – your entire routine for a day – and its a bad habit that you don’t want to develop. Do yourself a favor. If you get the feeling that you want to “put it off until tomorrow,” go anyway… but do at least 1/3 of your workout. Why 1/3? For one, you’re still going. That prevents you from getting into the habit of not going. For two, once you get into the swing of your routine, its highly unlikely that you’ll literally stop at 1/3. You’ll probably keep going… and you’ll probably feel glad that you did.
2) You’re still freaking dieting: you diet, you lose a little weight, you go back to life before the diet, you put the weight back on. Woe is me.
I don’t believe in dieting (or “cheating“). I refuse to live on mashed potatoes for a week straight, grapefruit for a week straight, spongebob squarepants fruit snacks for a week straight.. whatever voodoo mumbo jumbo looney tunes diet is going on out there right now just to lose a measly five pounds. I don’t believe in being miserable.
Dieting is moronic. Yes. I said it. Dieting says that it makes sense to “take a break from your regular bad habits” to go on a temporary severely restricted regimen, lose weight, then go right back to the habits that caused you to gain weight in the first place. How does that make sense?
If your goal is temporary weight loss, then yes, a temporary change makes sense. But last time I checked, no one puts themselves through a ton of dietary trauma just to lose five pounds for five days, right? Right.
I believe in making changes to the habits I created, be they questionable or downright deplorable. If I want to go in on some ice cream? I’ma do it, but there’s a consequence I have to suffer through, and that consequence teaches me the lesson: lay off the ice cream. That lesson is far more powerful than anything a darn diet could teach me. Ever.
3) You think the latest weight loss gadget is your ticket: you’ve got a closet full of ab pulsing belts, shake weights and thigh masters…
…and, for some reason, your abs aren’t ripped, your arms aren’t cut, and your thighs don’t look like Suzanne Somers. This is not coincidence.
Did you know that you can do the same exercise the thigh master shows you how to do… without the thigh master? That’s right. You don’t need the thighmaster to do leg lifts. You don’t need some pedals on a spring board to do sit ups… you can just do sit ups at home. You don’t need to shake an overweight rattle – one that, I presume, was created as an inside joke among perverts – to tone your arms the same way regular ol’ push ups or a one liter of water as a dumbell could.
Stop thinking that you need to spend – or waste, however you see it – money on the latest fad product to help you get it in. You don’t. You can do this with no products, or you can have all the products in the world. If you don’t have the work ethic needed to make this thing happen for you, then you can kiss your goal – and your money – goodbye. You won’t be seeing it.
4) You’re impatient.
This ain’t The Biggest Loser. (Hell, The Biggest Loser ain’t The Biggest Loser.) But for some reason, you want to lose 30lbs in a week, too. Crappy supermarket checkout line magazines don’t really help with this, but you swear up and down that you’re supposed to “lose 7lbs in 7 days with nooooo effort!!!” and after that first week, when you don’t “lose 7lbs in 7 days with nooooo effort!!!” you want to walk around the house with your lip poked out all mad and angry, ready to give up on weight loss and, ultimately, wellness.
Did you put the weight on in 7 days? Why think that you can lose it that fast? Are you running at cheetah speed for two hours a day? Then no, you’re not going to lose 7lbs in a week. Let that go. There is nothing wrong with 1-2lbs in a week. There is nothing wrong with finding that you’ve lost 5-8lbs in a week, either: if you’ve upped the fiber in your diet and are going potty more, that’ll reflect on the scale… if you made drastic changes to your caloric intake, that’ll reflect as well. But by and large, the average woman worried about a “final 10-15lbs” (she is usually the target of this “lose 30lbs in 10 minutes!” schtick) is not going to actually do it.
This takes patience. It takes learning and relearning your body… which really takes patience. Don’t shortchange yourself by trying to rush through it for a bikini or a little black dress. Not worth it.
5) After reading this, you’re gonna laugh, nod your head and say “Yep,” and not change a single thing.
I’m serious – how many people do you estimate will read this, giggle a little, and then go right back to their Doritos and crystal light? C’mon, man, either you’re in or you’re out. Either you want it, or you don’t. Every decision you make, you need to make with your ultimate wellness in mind. Every step you take needs to be one where you are conscious of you and your needs. It requires that much effort.. and either you’re willing to put in that effort or you’re not. Waddling in the middle isn’t going to get you anywhere, that’s for sure.
So really, prove me wrong – stop buying every silly product that comes out. Stop putting off workouts. Stop with the impatience (and, consequently, undue stress and pressure that comes with it.) Stop with the freaking diets. Just live… healthier. It’s that easy. 
49 Comments
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Love this! Yesterday I REALLY had to force myself to go workout because I was not feeling it AT ALL. I’m glad I went, though.
—Crystal
I read. I absorbed. I realize I know all of this stuff. I threw the Doritos in the trash (metaphorically speaking)!
—Alovelydai
This is just great and so ture. I have changed my eating habbits and started to exercise and feel great. I will try to be patient with the pounds coming off–the scale; huhhh. Patience is virtue. . . I guess.
—The Cali Diva
Right on! I wrote a post on my blog about changing normal. We have to get to the point where “healthy eating” is normal!
—Therese
I know I seriously need to be more patient… I get frustrated when the scale doesn’t budge, and I know its just adding undue stress to myself…
—Ladi Ohm
So I shouldn’t spend $60 on the Zumba dvds? Thanks for closure on this. The truth is, I already have a collection of dvd workout videos. This morning I had an amazing workout walking up and down my street several times!!!! It was amazing – no money spent.
Thanks,
I love your blog – keep ‘em coming!
—Tammie
Thank you. I was just about to put off my workout today, but read your posting this morning and I WILL fit it in today!!! You are so right!
—Jean
OK, you’ve been up and through my buzness… thanks for the kick in the bazooka!!!!
—Pearl
Another wonderful post. Thanks!
—BAnjeeB
and this RIGHT here is what i needed.
i was doing good with my exercise but i’d get up in the morning to work out and say ‘oh i’m sleepy…i’ll do it tomorrow’
and i’ve been eating too much junk.
getting my ish together now.
—pb
#4 is ALL ME! I am so impatient and so ready to shed this weight and false exterior that has become far to familiar to me. I have been very disciplined in my work out and I have changed my diet and I definitely know i need to tweak my diet more, but I every time i step on the scale and I see that minuscule weight loss its crushing. Thanks for the post!
—TheFeministGriote
I’m loving the HELL outta number 5! I laughed so hard, the Hubster had to come and check on me! I’m a subscriber…effective…..NOW! lol…AND I’m signing up for twitter! All for my sister….”the one who speaks the truth”…
—Angela
Tough love. ‘Preciate it
—Evelyn
Yes. Yes. Yes!
Recently a friend told me, “I’m doing [insert diet/pill/other shenanigan of the month] because I REALLY need to see results. Once I lose the weight, then I will feel better and can focus on healthy eating.”
I was speechless. Really, there were no words. I mean, at that point I just left it alone. Because it’s not the first time we’ve had that conversation. If you’re not ready and not willing to commit, then there’s nothing anyone else can do about it.
—Eunice
I agree with you Eunice. There’s a girl I know on Sparkpeople who post all the time about not doing this or not doing that and how disappointed she is with herself. Feeling sorry for her, I decided to reach out to her and do a little buddy motivation. Well that only lasted for a day and this girl literally cut my help off politely. I told myself how could she post all those blogs venting about her emotional state and when you try to give advice and help, she does that. So I politely deleted her off my phone and haven’t text or emailed her since.
I lost weight a year ago around the same time I befriended her on SP. But gained it all back. Now I’m on my second round of doing this again, and that same girl is still on there trying to lose one pound. Sometimes, people want to have a pity party. Meaning they want people to feel sorry for their excuses. I think if her friends tell it like it is to her, she will get it. So i agree with you, sometimes we just have to let them go.
—Andrea
Great post! I’ve been exercising regularly (3 times per week since May) in part due to your inspiring story. Now my body is starting to tell me to do more exercise because I feel I need it — I no longer need to look for inspiration to exercise outside of myself. Pretty soon I will be exercising 7 days a week! I feel so much stronger! I can do dips and push-ups. My energy is up. I can do all kinds of challenging versions of situps. I can even start to see a little arm muscle forming!
—Halona Black
LMAO!!!! Okay, I consider myself busted. However, I had just finished working on my goals for the next 12 weeks when I read this blog. I’ve adopted Ms. Ernestine’s mantra of “Determined, Dedicated, and Disciplined” for this next phase, with the emphasis on DISCIPLINED. That will force me to get rid of all my excuses. Will keep you posted.
—Teri
GREAT POST!
—Penny
This is the TRUTH
—Crystal
Loved the article. I am so guilty,especially lately. I have not worked out in 3 days and its so true it gets easier and easier to put it off. I’m buying my bike finally this week. I have all this work out gear and zero motivation. The statement I didn’t gain the weight in 7 days so I won’t lose it in seven days is so true, and I thought by setting my weightloss goals for a year I would be setting a reasonable goal. I need to stay focused on my goals and stop wanting immediate results. I’ve changed to clean eating, now I have to change my mindset about working out. That’s the next part of my journey.
—LaShawn Wilburn
This is great and just what I needed to hear. I am at THE BEGINNING of my weighloss journey to a healthy lifestyle. I have successfully lost about 30 lbs in the last two months (I started at 300 lbs) by exercising daily and eating properly (under the guidance of a nutritionist). You would think I would be happy, right? Of course the last week has been hell because the scale has stoped its steady move. Intellectually I know I shouldn’t even be on the scale and I also know bodies take time to readjust yadda yaa. The truth is…I change up my workout and all the stuff I am supposed to do. I am just impatient. And I am glad you said it. After all it took me 36 years to get to “here” so why am I tripping because I can’t get “there” overnight? Nuff said…..This is a wonderful website and I am happy to have it.
—Yaya
LOL! EVERY last single one of these is me! I am so ashamed, i feel like u’ve been there every afternoon i come home and complain about how much time i don’t have to cook or exercise and of how tired I am. But you have TRULY motivated me to get up and do something to ensure that my future is a healthy one, a future worth living for. Thank you (3x)!!!
—J. McMorris
I have spent the past 4 hours on this site and I have yet to come across a page when I don’t learn something! As I sit typing this, I am looking at a machine that I just paid the “trial” price for… it is still in the box. Meanwhile, I have other various work out equip. strewn all about my house… Did I mention that I also pay for a gym membership that I use only once a week? Anywho, my point of writing was to say: if all of the other wonderfully written articles on this site (that I’ve enjoyed digesting in the past 4 hours) hasn’t solidified my commitment to change–#5 on this list did!
Gotta go, I’m seriously headed to the gym:)
—FreedomEnforcer
SHUT UP!!!
know that i meant that in love…Thank you Thank you, and Thank you…i needed this right about now, i’ve been putting off my workouts for a week and a half and i said today i get back on my grind and get my workout on. Your so right about just going down there when you don’t want to i never can just get on the treadmill and then leave i end up doing a hour in a half and i feel so good when i do that. So tonight after work it’s to the gym ASAP!!! I knew i was messing up when i would not look at your blog…i felt guilty cuz i knew i was WRONG!! I was only cheating myself…BUT i didn’t blow it all the way because my eating stayed on point 85% of the time, but i feel the difference almost the 1st day i missed the gym. You would have thought that would make me go back the next day, but it only mady it easier to miss the next and the next and sadly the next.
Thank you again Erika
Sasha
—Sasha
Ive lost 30lbs iam now iam getting lazy how do i get over this hump please help
—crystal dis
Great post. Great advice
—Maisha
This is actually what I needed to read. Thanks so much.
—Cy
OH MY GOODNESS – this is me. I was working out 2 times a day between 5 to 6 days a week since last Oct. Then this month it was like I would work out Mon through Thur then it was Monday through Wed then it was the “I’ll do it tomorrow” and tomorrow never came. So after reading this i am going back downstairs to walk my 4 miles mainly because I am worth it…
—GiGi
Great post! Love the one about not taking this info and the bad habits seriously. Thxs for the swift kick in the a***.
—Suz
Man Erika This is on point it’s really what I needed to hear now! Your blog is awesome! I’m always around here saying why I’m not losing no weight well this detailed exactly why, LOL!
—Emma
Man this is dead on with me. I usually home in the day when I could be working out and always wait until the last minute then I say I’ll do it tomorrow. You put it so simple Erika, I have to stop making excuses and get out the middle LOL!
—Emma
I have been reading your articles for a while now and I really value your views and opinions. 99% of the time you are so on point. I love the bitter with sweet approach. I try to share this page with others who haven’t made the transition from dieting to making a lifestyle change. I have lost almost 25 lbs so far and only need 5 more to reach my immediate goal…My ultimate goal is to be able to find an activity or two that I enjoy so that I can keep moving. Thanks for all your advice….
—Sherri
99% of the time?! What the hell was the other 1%? ROFL
—Erika Nicole Kendall
Great post! I told my daughter that she has to be “meaner” about her diet. “You have to look at the little cookies and sternly say, “No!” and then eat that Pink Lady apple you stuck in your purse for this very reason,” I told her.
Further, there is no rule that says you have to eat while in a restaurant. I’ve often just kept calorie-less company with a person who wants fast food, but I don’t.
—Marion@affectionforfitness
I think many of us are watching a condensed and edited version of hours, days, weeks and months of hard work dedicated solely to losing weight (…and if they have time, they’ll stop by Subway for a “meal.”), physician consults, and therapy, etc.; all the while believing the visual simplicity of it all once they step on the scale. But we don’t take the time to learn, or understand ourselves first. We don’t take the time to understand how we’ve gained 100 pounds over the course of 20 years. We just simply want to erase it in six months.
I’ve lost 75 pounds over the years, and I didn’t start by throwing out a bagel and cream cheese because someone told me to. I started losing weight when I turned off the T.V., and researched this thing called a “refined” carb; and why my body loves it so much. Then I took the time to study my eating habits and found that I only wanted a bagel in the mornings, when I was tired from lack of sleep, emotionally upset, or just bored. Then I researched healthy substitutes for that craving. That is when I started losing weight, AND keeping it off; the hard part most of us don’t want to think about.
Patience and self-evaluation are the two greatest “secrets” I’ve ever been given to battle my bugle. LOL!
Good read, Erika!
—NuSoul Jones
Thank you. Thank you so much! *tight hug*
This was what I needed to hear right now. I may not buy gadgets, but I’ve been struggling with eating healthy and finding the motivation to go back to working out. This was the kick in the pants I needed. ^_^
—Kitty
I am number 4
—Serenity
Very nice I might add and a little toughlove for your mind and body thank you 4 this
—tiesha
This post is excellent. I wish I could find some way to get motivated and stay motivated. I started WW..lost 5 lbs and then “celebrated” and fell off the wagon…UGH…..
—Michelle
I really like this article! If I could suggest one other item that would be great on here. The fat loss pills or”vitamins” as one of my friends call them. You’re right, it didn’t come on overnight so taking these special vitamins are not going to help you in the long run. It’s what you choose to put in your mouth and how much of it and also going to workout. Choices. Plain and simple!
—Nettie
I was just wondering!! I saw that you mentioned crystal light in your blog. and I had a question I had been wanting to ask: how good is cryatal light for you to drink, and what do you recommend for a person who drinks a lot of water, but doesn’t want to get burned out on it, I just need something a little flavorful in my water once in a while. I’ve even tried squeezing lemon in my water. lol
—desiree
On aspartame and Crystal Light: http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/what-are-you-eating/the-case-against-diet-soda-and-aspartame-and-splenda-and/
On water: http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/healthy-eating/no-sugar-then-what-can-i-use/
—Erika Nicole Kendall
Thank you!
I’m forwarding this to 2 of my big excuse making friends and then going to pack my gym bag for tomorrow morning. I know this sounds like a big “duh!” to you but I found the easiest excuse to make was not having my bagged packed. So now I always have it packed and sitting by the door the night before.
—milaxx
Girl i admire your mind…You really know what you are talking about…love it..thank you for reminding me about the patience because sometimes it gets hard
—KissytheCutie
I needed that. Especially the “don’t put off the workout” thing… just had a very big day at work, and that is exactly what I was thinking, put off the workout and make it up on Sunday, the one day when I have a planned rest. On that note… I guess I’ll go get started. :-\
—Vicki M.
Love it! Was thinking about putting off my workout for today, not now! I am going!
—Inspired
Wow..and wow, again…like, I can SMELL the truth in this post..that’s how potent it is..lol…what I’ve learned is that the harder the day is..the more frustrated I am, the more I DON’T feel like going to the gym..those are the day I am ABSOLUTELY going..it’s easy to go the gym when life is good and rosy…but going when you feel like going home instead and drowning your sorrows in some comfort food/drink? Another matter altogether…..I know for a fact I’ve seen results because of the determination not to succumb to the “I’ll-do-it-tomorrow’s”…..yet, there is always something to be learned…those days I might say, I’m exhausted, I’ve worked out hard..lemme skip this last set of squats…I’m doing those freaking squats…E, you are the bomb for this one right here…
—Nasha
Chile! You are speaking directly to me! All I can say is I’m over the excuses. I have changed my THINKING so things are changing. I am VERY impatient so that is my biggest task to take on, but as far as eating & trying to put off the workout today vs. tacking it on tomorrow…as long as I go to bed on time & get up in time I’m good! With that said…I AM determined to get these 20# off so that I can not only be healthy BUT look good while being healthy!
No issues , health wise yet, but not trying to get their either! Thanks for the words!
—Aliya
This was a pleasure to read thanks for putting it out there. I’ve lost about 35lbs last year just doing it “the right way”. Working out and Eating Healthier. So your right and people you need to take heed and like the Nike commercial says “Just Do It”.
—Melissa