5 Reasons Why You Won't Lose Weight - A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss

5 Reasons Why You Won’t Lose Weight

Day 25/365

When I listen to the different comments and e-mails that I receive, there are sometimes things that I want to say, but wont. Why? Because people come here to share and understand that they aren’t alone in the way they think and feel about certain issues regarding wellness and weight loss.

But every now and again, I read something that makes me want to toss my head against my desk – not too hard, but hard enough – because they’re either mistakes I’ve made before… or mistakes I make now (and realize it while reading someone else’s words)… or mistakes I haven’t made and probably would’ve made in the future if I weren’t thinking consciously.

So.. having said that… consider this my collective screaming, shouting, and fussing from a year’s worth of e-mails and comments where y’all just know you are wrong. You know you are. Hopefully you’ll giggle with me a little, and come on out of the woodwork admitting how you know you’re wrong.

1) You put off an activity today, for whatever reason, because you can “just do it tomorrow.”

Say it with me. This… is BS. Let me tell you what happens. You get home. You’re tired. You’re worn out. You’re angry. Whatever. Instead of using your pending workout at something to energize you and destress you, you put it off by saying “Oh, I’ll just tack it on to tomorrow’s workout.” You know what happens now: either you skip tomorrow’s workout as well, or you do finish tomorrow’s workout, forgetting the part you were supposed to tack on.

The problem with this is that it’s an excuse. It’s allowing you to excuse very big parts of your routine – your entire routine for a day – and its a bad habit that you don’t want to develop. Do yourself a favor. If you get the feeling that you want to “put it off until tomorrow,” go anyway… but do at least 1/3 of your workout. Why 1/3? For one, you’re still going. That prevents you from getting into the habit of not going. For two, once you get into the swing of your routine, its highly unlikely that you’ll literally stop at 1/3. You’ll probably keep going… and you’ll probably feel glad that you did.

2) You’re still freaking dieting: you diet, you lose a little weight, you go back to life before the diet, you put the weight back on. Woe is me.

I don’t believe in dieting (or “cheating“). I refuse to live on mashed potatoes for a week straight, grapefruit for a week straight, spongebob squarepants fruit snacks for a week straight.. whatever voodoo mumbo jumbo looney tunes diet is going on out there right now just to lose a measly five pounds. I don’t believe in being miserable.

Dieting is moronic. Yes. I said it. Dieting says that it makes sense to “take a break from your regular bad habits” to go on a temporary severely restricted regimen, lose weight, then go right back to the habits that caused you to gain weight in the first place. How does that make sense?

If your goal is temporary weight loss, then yes, a temporary change makes sense. But last time I checked, no one puts themselves through a ton of dietary trauma just to lose five pounds for five days, right? Right.

I believe in making changes to the habits I created, be they questionable or downright deplorable. If I want to go in on some ice cream? I’ma do it, but there’s a consequence I have to suffer through, and that consequence teaches me the lesson: lay off the ice cream. That lesson is far more powerful than anything a darn diet could teach me. Ever.

3) You think the latest weight loss gadget is your ticket: you’ve got a closet full of ab pulsing belts, shake weights and thigh masters…

…and, for some reason, your abs aren’t ripped, your arms aren’t cut, and your thighs don’t look like Suzanne Somers. This is not coincidence.

Did you know that you can do the same exercise the thigh master shows you how to do… without the thigh master? That’s right. You don’t need the thighmaster to do leg lifts. You don’t need some pedals on a spring board to do sit ups… you can just do sit ups at home. You don’t need to shake an overweight rattle – one that, I presume, was created as an inside joke among perverts – to tone your arms the same way regular ol’ push ups or a one liter of water as a dumbell could.

Stop thinking that you need to spend – or waste, however you see it – money on the latest fad product to help you get it in. You don’t. You can do this with no products, or you can have all the products in the world. If you don’t have the work ethic needed to make this thing happen for you, then you can kiss your goal  – and your money – goodbye. You won’t be seeing it.

4) You’re impatient.

This ain’t The Biggest Loser. (Hell, The Biggest Loser ain’t The Biggest Loser.) But for some reason, you want to lose 30lbs in a week, too. Crappy supermarket checkout line magazines don’t really help with this, but you swear up and down that you’re supposed to “lose 7lbs in 7 days with nooooo effort!!!” and after that first week, when you don’t “lose 7lbs in 7 days with nooooo effort!!!” you want to walk around the house with your lip poked out all mad and angry, ready to give up on weight loss and, ultimately, wellness.

Did you put the weight on in 7 days? Why think that you can lose it that fast? Are you running at cheetah speed for two hours a day? Then no, you’re not going to lose 7lbs in a week. Let that go. There is nothing wrong with 1-2lbs in a week. There is nothing wrong with finding that you’ve lost 5-8lbs in a week, either: if you’ve upped the fiber in your diet and are going potty more, that’ll reflect on the scale… if you made drastic changes to your caloric intake, that’ll reflect as well. But by and large, the average woman worried about a “final 10-15lbs” (she is usually the target of this “lose 30lbs in 10 minutes!” schtick) is not going to actually do it.

This takes patience. It takes learning and relearning your body… which really takes patience. Don’t shortchange yourself by trying to rush through it for a bikini or a little black dress. Not worth it.

5) After reading this, you’re gonna laugh, nod your head and say “Yep,” and not change a single thing.

I’m serious – how many people do you estimate will read this, giggle a little, and then go right back to their Doritos and crystal light? C’mon, man, either you’re in or you’re out. Either you want it, or you don’t. Every decision you make, you need to make with your ultimate wellness in mind. Every step you take needs to be one where you are conscious of you and your needs. It requires that much effort.. and either you’re willing to put in that effort or you’re not. Waddling in the middle isn’t going to get you anywhere, that’s for sure.

So really, prove me wrong – stop buying every silly product that comes out. Stop putting off workouts. Stop with the impatience (and, consequently, undue stress and pressure that comes with it.) Stop with the freaking diets. Just live… healthier. It’s that easy. :)

The proud leader of the #bgg2wlarmy, Erika Nicole Kendall writes health, fitness, nutrition, body image and beauty, and more here at #bgg2wl. After losing over 150lbs, Kendall became a personal trainer certified in fitness nutrition, women's fitness, and weight loss from the National Academy of Sports Medicine. She now lives in New York with her family, and is working on her 4th, 5th and 6th certificates.

96 Comments

  1. Crystal

    August 5, 2010 at 10:53 AM

    Love this! Yesterday I REALLY had to force myself to go workout because I was not feeling it AT ALL. I’m glad I went, though.

    • Jae Vonj

      April 13, 2012 at 5:17 PM

      So sad, but very true.

    • NotsoFatNikki

      March 17, 2013 at 2:24 PM

      This is great! I used to be consumed with the numbers on the scale so much as to where I would get discouraged and quit. I finally realized that I need to do this for my overall health and everyday, every meal is a choice. Just remember if you make a mistake pick yourself up and try again. Learn from the mistake. I do by writing down how I felt after I went on a binge vs.. How I feel when I’m eating healthy. I don’t even get on the scale I just go by how I feel. All in all healthy living is about a conscious daily and long term choice and you got to want it bad enough. Love your site!

  2. Alovelydai

    August 5, 2010 at 11:06 AM

    I read. I absorbed. I realize I know all of this stuff. I threw the Doritos in the trash (metaphorically speaking)!

    • Aysh

      February 10, 2012 at 8:34 PM

      I literally just put the doritos down… seriously.

    • Aysh

      February 10, 2012 at 8:39 PM

      I really needed to read this. I haven’t been to the gym in a week b/c “ugh! It’s 4am ALREADY!?” But no more excuses. I can’t afford not to be healthy… all my daughter haas is me

  3. The Cali Diva

    August 5, 2010 at 11:41 AM

    This is just great and so ture. I have changed my eating habbits and started to exercise and feel great. I will try to be patient with the pounds coming off–the scale; huhhh. Patience is virtue. . . I guess.

  4. Therese

    August 5, 2010 at 12:31 PM

    Right on! I wrote a post on my blog about changing normal. We have to get to the point where “healthy eating” is normal!

  5. Ladi Ohm

    August 5, 2010 at 12:34 PM

    I know I seriously need to be more patient… I get frustrated when the scale doesn’t budge, and I know its just adding undue stress to myself…

  6. Tammie

    August 5, 2010 at 12:37 PM

    So I shouldn’t spend $60 on the Zumba dvds? Thanks for closure on this. The truth is, I already have a collection of dvd workout videos. This morning I had an amazing workout walking up and down my street several times!!!! It was amazing – no money spent.
    Thanks,
    I love your blog – keep ‘em coming!

    • Ebony

      August 18, 2012 at 6:42 PM

      I have been finding my Zumba on YouTube. I hook up my tablet to the TV, and Zumba in the comfort of my own home for free :)

  7. Jean

    August 5, 2010 at 12:57 PM

    Thank you. I was just about to put off my workout today, but read your posting this morning and I WILL fit it in today!!! You are so right!

  8. Pearl

    August 5, 2010 at 2:17 PM

    OK, you’ve been up and through my buzness… thanks for the kick in the bazooka!!!!

  9. BAnjeeB

    August 5, 2010 at 2:52 PM

    Another wonderful post. Thanks!

  10. pb

    August 5, 2010 at 3:17 PM

    and this RIGHT here is what i needed.
    i was doing good with my exercise but i’d get up in the morning to work out and say ‘oh i’m sleepy…i’ll do it tomorrow’
    and i’ve been eating too much junk.
    getting my ish together now.

  11. TheFeministGriote

    August 5, 2010 at 8:23 PM

    #4 is ALL ME! I am so impatient and so ready to shed this weight and false exterior that has become far to familiar to me. I have been very disciplined in my work out and I have changed my diet and I definitely know i need to tweak my diet more, but I every time i step on the scale and I see that minuscule weight loss its crushing. Thanks for the post!

    • Tracey

      January 6, 2013 at 8:23 AM

      Minuscule weight loss, try gaining 5 pounds the week you hit it hard in the gym. I was devastated but even more motivated. I do have exercise equipment in my home in the event I can’t make it to the gym and to do another small work out should time permit. I wish everybody the best on this weight loss, life changing challenge. Its tough but so many testimonials says it can be done. We are more than conquerors!!!

  12. Angela

    August 5, 2010 at 9:44 PM

    I’m loving the HELL outta number 5! I laughed so hard, the Hubster had to come and check on me! I’m a subscriber…effective…..NOW! lol…AND I’m signing up for twitter! All for my sister….”the one who speaks the truth”…

  13. Evelyn

    August 6, 2010 at 8:51 AM

    Tough love. ‘Preciate it :-)

  14. Eunice

    August 6, 2010 at 9:57 AM

    Yes. Yes. Yes!

    Recently a friend told me, “I’m doing [insert diet/pill/other shenanigan of the month] because I REALLY need to see results. Once I lose the weight, then I will feel better and can focus on healthy eating.”

    I was speechless. Really, there were no words. I mean, at that point I just left it alone. Because it’s not the first time we’ve had that conversation. If you’re not ready and not willing to commit, then there’s nothing anyone else can do about it.

    • Andrea

      July 6, 2011 at 2:49 PM

      I agree with you Eunice. There’s a girl I know on Sparkpeople who post all the time about not doing this or not doing that and how disappointed she is with herself. Feeling sorry for her, I decided to reach out to her and do a little buddy motivation. Well that only lasted for a day and this girl literally cut my help off politely. I told myself how could she post all those blogs venting about her emotional state and when you try to give advice and help, she does that. So I politely deleted her off my phone and haven’t text or emailed her since.

      I lost weight a year ago around the same time I befriended her on SP. But gained it all back. Now I’m on my second round of doing this again, and that same girl is still on there trying to lose one pound. Sometimes, people want to have a pity party. Meaning they want people to feel sorry for their excuses. I think if her friends tell it like it is to her, she will get it. So i agree with you, sometimes we just have to let them go.

  15. Halona Black

    August 7, 2010 at 7:43 PM

    Great post! I’ve been exercising regularly (3 times per week since May) in part due to your inspiring story. Now my body is starting to tell me to do more exercise because I feel I need it — I no longer need to look for inspiration to exercise outside of myself. Pretty soon I will be exercising 7 days a week! I feel so much stronger! I can do dips and push-ups. My energy is up. I can do all kinds of challenging versions of situps. I can even start to see a little arm muscle forming!

  16. Teri

    August 8, 2010 at 2:42 PM

    LMAO!!!! Okay, I consider myself busted. However, I had just finished working on my goals for the next 12 weeks when I read this blog. I’ve adopted Ms. Ernestine’s mantra of “Determined, Dedicated, and Disciplined” for this next phase, with the emphasis on DISCIPLINED. That will force me to get rid of all my excuses. Will keep you posted.

  17. Penny

    August 9, 2010 at 7:08 PM

    GREAT POST!

  18. Crystal

    September 28, 2010 at 1:09 AM

    This is the TRUTH

  19. LaShawn Wilburn

    October 3, 2010 at 10:13 AM

    Loved the article. I am so guilty,especially lately. I have not worked out in 3 days and its so true it gets easier and easier to put it off. I’m buying my bike finally this week. I have all this work out gear and zero motivation. The statement I didn’t gain the weight in 7 days so I won’t lose it in seven days is so true, and I thought by setting my weightloss goals for a year I would be setting a reasonable goal. I need to stay focused on my goals and stop wanting immediate results. I’ve changed to clean eating, now I have to change my mindset about working out. That’s the next part of my journey.

  20. Yaya

    October 3, 2010 at 7:23 PM

    This is great and just what I needed to hear. I am at THE BEGINNING of my weighloss journey to a healthy lifestyle. I have successfully lost about 30 lbs in the last two months (I started at 300 lbs) by exercising daily and eating properly (under the guidance of a nutritionist). You would think I would be happy, right? Of course the last week has been hell because the scale has stoped its steady move. Intellectually I know I shouldn’t even be on the scale and I also know bodies take time to readjust yadda yaa. The truth is…I change up my workout and all the stuff I am supposed to do. I am just impatient. And I am glad you said it. After all it took me 36 years to get to “here” so why am I tripping because I can’t get “there” overnight? Nuff said…..This is a wonderful website and I am happy to have it.

  21. J. McMorris

    November 2, 2010 at 12:12 AM

    LOL! EVERY last single one of these is me! I am so ashamed, i feel like u’ve been there every afternoon i come home and complain about how much time i don’t have to cook or exercise and of how tired I am. But you have TRULY motivated me to get up and do something to ensure that my future is a healthy one, a future worth living for. Thank you (3x)!!!

  22. FreedomEnforcer

    December 3, 2010 at 11:07 PM

    I have spent the past 4 hours on this site and I have yet to come across a page when I don’t learn something! As I sit typing this, I am looking at a machine that I just paid the “trial” price for… it is still in the box. Meanwhile, I have other various work out equip. strewn all about my house… Did I mention that I also pay for a gym membership that I use only once a week? Anywho, my point of writing was to say: if all of the other wonderfully written articles on this site (that I’ve enjoyed digesting in the past 4 hours) hasn’t solidified my commitment to change–#5 on this list did!

    Gotta go, I’m seriously headed to the gym:)

  23. Sasha

    February 21, 2011 at 9:34 AM

    SHUT UP!!! :-) know that i meant that in love…Thank you Thank you, and Thank you…i needed this right about now, i’ve been putting off my workouts for a week and a half and i said today i get back on my grind and get my workout on. Your so right about just going down there when you don’t want to i never can just get on the treadmill and then leave i end up doing a hour in a half and i feel so good when i do that. So tonight after work it’s to the gym ASAP!!! I knew i was messing up when i would not look at your blog…i felt guilty cuz i knew i was WRONG!! I was only cheating myself…BUT i didn’t blow it all the way because my eating stayed on point 85% of the time, but i feel the difference almost the 1st day i missed the gym. You would have thought that would make me go back the next day, but it only mady it easier to miss the next and the next and sadly the next.

    Thank you again Erika

    Sasha

  24. crystal dis

    March 13, 2011 at 7:51 PM

    Ive lost 30lbs iam now iam getting lazy how do i get over this hump please help

  25. Maisha

    March 27, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    Great post. Great advice :)

  26. Cy

    March 27, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    This is actually what I needed to read. Thanks so much.

  27. GiGi

    March 27, 2011 at 7:30 PM

    OH MY GOODNESS – this is me. I was working out 2 times a day between 5 to 6 days a week since last Oct. Then this month it was like I would work out Mon through Thur then it was Monday through Wed then it was the “I’ll do it tomorrow” and tomorrow never came. So after reading this i am going back downstairs to walk my 4 miles mainly because I am worth it…

  28. Suz

    March 28, 2011 at 12:25 AM

    Great post! Love the one about not taking this info and the bad habits seriously. Thxs for the swift kick in the a***. :)

  29. Emma

    April 14, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    Man Erika This is on point it’s really what I needed to hear now! Your blog is awesome! I’m always around here saying why I’m not losing no weight well this detailed exactly why, LOL!

  30. Emma

    April 14, 2011 at 6:47 PM

    Man this is dead on with me. I usually home in the day when I could be working out and always wait until the last minute then I say I’ll do it tomorrow. You put it so simple Erika, I have to stop making excuses and get out the middle LOL!

  31. Sherri

    May 18, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    I have been reading your articles for a while now and I really value your views and opinions. 99% of the time you are so on point. I love the bitter with sweet approach. I try to share this page with others who haven’t made the transition from dieting to making a lifestyle change. I have lost almost 25 lbs so far and only need 5 more to reach my immediate goal…My ultimate goal is to be able to find an activity or two that I enjoy so that I can keep moving. Thanks for all your advice….

  32. Marion@affectionforfitness

    May 23, 2011 at 10:47 AM

    Great post! I told my daughter that she has to be “meaner” about her diet. “You have to look at the little cookies and sternly say, “No!” and then eat that Pink Lady apple you stuck in your purse for this very reason,” I told her.

    Further, there is no rule that says you have to eat while in a restaurant. I’ve often just kept calorie-less company with a person who wants fast food, but I don’t.

    :-) Marion

  33. NuSoul Jones

    May 23, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    I think many of us are watching a condensed and edited version of hours, days, weeks and months of hard work dedicated solely to losing weight (…and if they have time, they’ll stop by Subway for a “meal.”), physician consults, and therapy, etc.; all the while believing the visual simplicity of it all once they step on the scale. But we don’t take the time to learn, or understand ourselves first. We don’t take the time to understand how we’ve gained 100 pounds over the course of 20 years. We just simply want to erase it in six months.

    I’ve lost 75 pounds over the years, and I didn’t start by throwing out a bagel and cream cheese because someone told me to. I started losing weight when I turned off the T.V., and researched this thing called a “refined” carb; and why my body loves it so much. Then I took the time to study my eating habits and found that I only wanted a bagel in the mornings, when I was tired from lack of sleep, emotionally upset, or just bored. Then I researched healthy substitutes for that craving. That is when I started losing weight, AND keeping it off; the hard part most of us don’t want to think about.

    Patience and self-evaluation are the two greatest “secrets” I’ve ever been given to battle my bugle. LOL!

    Good read, Erika!

  34. Kitty

    May 24, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    Thank you. Thank you so much! *tight hug*

    This was what I needed to hear right now. I may not buy gadgets, but I’ve been struggling with eating healthy and finding the motivation to go back to working out. This was the kick in the pants I needed. ^_^

  35. Serenity

    May 24, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    I am number 4

  36. tiesha

    June 2, 2011 at 9:35 PM

    Very nice I might add and a little toughlove for your mind and body thank you 4 this

  37. Michelle

    June 14, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    This post is excellent. I wish I could find some way to get motivated and stay motivated. I started WW..lost 5 lbs and then “celebrated” and fell off the wagon…UGH…..

  38. Nettie

    June 14, 2011 at 4:10 PM

    I really like this article! If I could suggest one other item that would be great on here. The fat loss pills or”vitamins” as one of my friends call them. You’re right, it didn’t come on overnight so taking these special vitamins are not going to help you in the long run. It’s what you choose to put in your mouth and how much of it and also going to workout. Choices. Plain and simple!

  39. desiree

    June 26, 2011 at 2:38 PM

    I was just wondering!! I saw that you mentioned crystal light in your blog. and I had a question I had been wanting to ask: how good is cryatal light for you to drink, and what do you recommend for a person who drinks a lot of water, but doesn’t want to get burned out on it, I just need something a little flavorful in my water once in a while. I’ve even tried squeezing lemon in my water. lol

  40. milaxx

    June 26, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    Thank you!

    I’m forwarding this to 2 of my big excuse making friends and then going to pack my gym bag for tomorrow morning. I know this sounds like a big “duh!” to you but I found the easiest excuse to make was not having my bagged packed. So now I always have it packed and sitting by the door the night before.

  41. KissytheCutie

    July 6, 2011 at 9:19 PM

    Girl i admire your mind…You really know what you are talking about…love it..thank you for reminding me about the patience because sometimes it gets hard

  42. Vicki M.

    July 14, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    I needed that. Especially the “don’t put off the workout” thing… just had a very big day at work, and that is exactly what I was thinking, put off the workout and make it up on Sunday, the one day when I have a planned rest. On that note… I guess I’ll go get started. :-\

  43. Inspired

    August 23, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    Love it! Was thinking about putting off my workout for today, not now! I am going!

  44. Nasha

    September 10, 2011 at 11:44 AM

    Wow..and wow, again…like, I can SMELL the truth in this post..that’s how potent it is..lol…what I’ve learned is that the harder the day is..the more frustrated I am, the more I DON’T feel like going to the gym..those are the day I am ABSOLUTELY going..it’s easy to go the gym when life is good and rosy…but going when you feel like going home instead and drowning your sorrows in some comfort food/drink? Another matter altogether…..I know for a fact I’ve seen results because of the determination not to succumb to the “I’ll-do-it-tomorrow’s”…..yet, there is always something to be learned…those days I might say, I’m exhausted, I’ve worked out hard..lemme skip this last set of squats…I’m doing those freaking squats…E, you are the bomb for this one right here…

  45. Aliya

    September 10, 2011 at 8:28 PM

    Chile! You are speaking directly to me! All I can say is I’m over the excuses. I have changed my THINKING so things are changing. I am VERY impatient so that is my biggest task to take on, but as far as eating & trying to put off the workout today vs. tacking it on tomorrow…as long as I go to bed on time & get up in time I’m good! With that said…I AM determined to get these 20# off so that I can not only be healthy BUT look good while being healthy! ;) No issues , health wise yet, but not trying to get their either! Thanks for the words!

  46. Melissa

    January 1, 2012 at 12:20 PM

    This was a pleasure to read thanks for putting it out there. I’ve lost about 35lbs last year just doing it “the right way”. Working out and Eating Healthier. So your right and people you need to take heed and like the Nike commercial says “Just Do It”.

  47. jordyn

    March 24, 2012 at 6:12 PM

    *puts down chips*

  48. JeaneneFrancis

    March 24, 2012 at 11:55 PM

    #4 is my weakness. I get SO frustrated with the time it takes my body to release its hold on the weight. I am in a BL contest at work. I walk around 2.7 ~3 miles at lunch and then to the gym for more cardio and weights. I have lost 7 lbs since 2/10 and the scale has not moved. I have seen some changes in my clothes. :-) I just want that scale to show more weight loss..

  49. Jeanene

    March 24, 2012 at 11:57 PM

    Am I doing too much? But I like walking at lunch. It keeps me calm,ESP when I want it light into a coworker for their lack of professionalism….

  50. shea

    April 13, 2012 at 9:03 PM

    I have been working out consistly since Feb 19 I lost 13 lbs I was a little discouraged because the weight is not moving as fast as ai would likebut this made me feel better. I work out 3-4 days a week 1-2 hours, not dieting but watching what I eat. Im going to be patient and continue. Thanks for the encouragement

  51. Afrobeauty

    May 21, 2012 at 1:54 PM

    <>

    I thought the thighmaster was the most efficient way to tone your inner thighs…
    Do you know what exercise can I do for that ?

    • Erika Nicole Kendall

      May 21, 2012 at 8:23 PM

      Toning? That’s two parts… cardio to help with the fat removal and exercises like squats and various kinds of lunges that’ll help with the muscle development. There should be some in the exercises section of the blog.

  52. Tracy

    May 26, 2012 at 5:10 PM

    We must make a decision that we want to live a healthier life (mind, body & spirit). A few of us will change, but many will continue to nod our heads. We are what we eat and with no exercise or clear cut plan for living healither our body will begin to breakdown. It’s a mind set ~ make that choice to change and if its hard find yourself an accountablity partner, set small weigh lost goals and try to eat something different.

    Small changes can make a big difference in your life.

  53. Sakeenah Davis

    August 14, 2012 at 3:48 PM

    LOL I must say I’m guilty….but I also must add that a Lifestyle Change is a decision that only oneself can say that they are ready to commit to. If they’re doing it for someone else and not for themselves… It won’t work. I’m committed now because it’s for me and my happiness Bs desire to be around for my son! God Bless!

  54. Kitkat

    August 18, 2012 at 5:12 PM

    I love the advice. I admit I didn’t work out yesterday but I got up this morning and did my workout. But I will say you do need rest days.

  55. gina darlin

    August 18, 2012 at 5:28 PM

    you sure set me straight!!! i never believed in diets, fads, gimmicks. im jst LAZY!!! i do live w several health problems including chronic back pain , arthritis and sciatica. and its getting worse. I DO NOT WANT TO CONTINUE TO LIVE MY LIFE LIKE THIS!!! im afraid of further injuries. please help!

  56. Christi

    August 18, 2012 at 5:46 PM

    Definitely guilty as charged! I made some dramatic changes to my lifestyle last fall, then improved even more this past winter. Something about summertime does me in! I want ice cream, and delicious cocktails, and I want to watch baseball with a beer, not sweat it out on the elliptical trainer. I had lost thirty pounds, only to gain back ten over the last two months. Why does it come back so much faster than it goes? Why? So yesterday, I went for a long bike ride. I had a delicious salad for dinner. Had ice cream for dessert, but I was still down a pound this morning. I’m not going to be perfect all the time, but being a little imperfect doesn’t mean I have to go crazy. That’s the lesson I struggle with. It’s not all or nothing. Thanks for this reminder!

  57. Nancy

    August 31, 2012 at 9:57 AM

    This article helps me to be patient with myself, and realize WELLNESS is a LIFE CHANGE….And that everyday for the rest of my life, I must continue my quest for WELLNESS…

  58. BELINDA SMITH

    August 31, 2012 at 9:58 AM

    YES, YOU HAVE HIT THE HAMMER ON THE NAIL!!! I KNOW I HAVE BEEN MAKING EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING MY WORKOUTS AND BY YOU KEEPING IT REAL ,IT ONLY ENCOURAGE ME TO GET UP AND DO WHAT I KNOW I SHOULD IN ORDER TO ACCOMPLISH WHAT GOALS I SET BEFORE ME.. THANK YOU FOR INSPIRING ME AND OTHERS TO CONTINUE AND NOT GIVE UP. GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

  59. Aja

    September 7, 2012 at 6:25 PM

    I have come to the realization the reason I’m not losing weight (or losing weight extremely slowly) is that I don’t have “enough” weight to lose. I am starting off at only 10-15 lbs away from my personal goal weight, and I find that most of the change your lifestyle advice isn’t helping me that much at this stage. I ate pretty clean to begin with, and I lost a couple of lbs. cleaning it up even more, but that leveled off. I run several miles a couple of days a week, take kickboxing, zumba, I can see my body shaping up, but the scale is not moving! My body fat is within a healthy range, and I’m within my recommended BMI, but I definitely am not where I should be.

    Do you have any suggestions for those who don’t have much to lose? As wrong as it may be, those “lose 7 lbs. in 7 days” covers are starting to look tempting.

    • Erika Nicole Kendall

      September 8, 2012 at 12:39 PM

      I think you also have to realize that, depending on your size, it’s harder to lose those final few pounds, the smaller you are.

      What you’re doing right now seems to only be sustaining your weight/lifestyle combination. You have to shift the balance even more – running more miles each week, double checking your caloric intake, keeping tabs more so on your body fat percentage and not so much on your actual poundage to ensure that some progress is being made – in favor of creating a healthy deficit if you want to lose more.

  60. Erica Washington

    September 8, 2012 at 6:47 AM

    I have been thinking that my troubles come from my food choices and so I make conscience decisions about what I am going to eat, I know that carbs make me miserable. My belly really gets rock hard when i eat carbs and its not a good thing, it extends out like I am 9 months prego. I hate it but I kept doing it. I switched to Whole Grains and I don’t have it often. It solved the problem. I stop drinking juices all day and night that helped me drop six pounds in three days. Wow, Juice really is a killer. I also decided to pay more attention to this website and see if I can get more help.

  61. Pat Rice

    November 2, 2012 at 11:18 AM

    I force myself even when I don’t feel like it. I tell myself…”ok, just walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes” and when I’m actually on the beast for 15 mins, I really feel better and more often than not, I complete a full workout. If not, then I did 15 min on the treadmill…..LOL
    I have stopped beating myself up if I can’t do the full workout……

  62. Goldeelocks

    December 21, 2012 at 12:48 PM

    Girl…. you’re on it today!

  63. Sheila Jackson

    December 22, 2012 at 4:29 AM

    Lol. You’re right. I’ve done every one of these.
    Right now, I don’t work out because my knee hurts(excuse I know). I want to start walking again but I need to find a way to deaden the pain in my knee. Or maybe find some exercises I can do sitting down.

  64. Fiona

    December 23, 2012 at 9:27 AM

    Great article! I lost 10 pounds in three weeks. The first 5 pounds were dropped over a two weeks period, the final 5 pounds were dropped over a one week period. After gaining 55 pounds over a two year period I had struggled over the past year to take the weight off (I was a size 8 prior to). I tried various fad diets that never worked or better yet I didn’t adhere to. Finally, about a month ago I decided to just make a daily concerted effort to eat healthier foods and smaller portions and exercise. Guess what, its working! I plan a head and pack my lunches for work as oppose to eating out daily. A typical meal is whole wheat toast and eggs for breakfast and a cup of fruit or baked salmon, a cup of wheat pasta and a cup of steamed veggies for lunch or dinner. Some days I ‘mess up’ like going to lunch with coworkers and ordering fried chicken and macaroni and cheese, but I compensate by eating half of said meal instead of the entire meal and incorporating two one hour cardio sessions that day instead of one. Also, I incorporate different exercise into my daily routine to keep it interesting… one day I might play tennis, another day I might go bike riding, and the next day I may attend a boot camp class. I haven’t gotten it down to a perfect science yet but I’m coming along.

  65. Kami

    December 23, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    Hi Erika,
    I am in graduate school and ost of the time I feel so stressed with school work. My goal is to lose weight and find an exercise I could stick to. Right now, I am doing hot yoga where I am losing 1 pound a week for the past month. Now am seeing someone where we are focused on eating real foods without counting calories and eating under 24 grams of sugar. I dealt with alot of dieticians where I felt like I was dieting because I was restricted from eating “ethnic foods” such as indian, carribean, latino, and middle eastern they were not deemed healthy. They convinced me to eat under 1200 and focused on protein milkshakes, diet sodas, frozen dinners or low fat no real food and a whole bunch of unnecessary nonsense. I learned the art of being patient and hot yoga has been helping with stress in school.

  66. Kami

    December 23, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    I meant “most” of the time.

  67. Candy

    January 13, 2013 at 10:49 PM

    Wish these were my problem. I am VERY discouraged. I have been doing insanity for 2 weeks and have GAINED 4 pounds. I wish I did see at lease 2 pounds a week. I’d feel motivated to keep going. My husband keeps telling me not to pay attention to the scale (I weigh myself every Monday) but you can’t weigh 190 pounds and be a size 6…not gonna happen. My weight won’t budge (except moving up) despite eating healthy and being VERY active. I’m discouraged. I feel like everyone can lose weight except me. I’ve heard it all but nothing has worked. I loved Zumba, all my friends were there but then I hated it cause they were all losing and I was not. I’m trying not to cry but I’m so frustrated!

  68. Danielle

    January 25, 2013 at 5:55 PM

    I have to tell you that this blog is exactly what I have been looking for, for a long time. I truly am excited when reading through the posts, but this one was real. It was raw and honestly, that is what I need. Hell, anyone really wanting to lose weight needs this. A desire is necessary for weight loss. While changing your lifestyle will make all the difference I think DESIRE is key here. You, my friend, have just that!

  69. Lee

    January 25, 2013 at 10:15 PM

    I try to motivate myself to staying on track. Do I mess up? Sure. I own up to it and get myself right back on track. It is easy to say “tomorrow..tomorrow…” but the problem is that if you keep saying that then you will see 5-6 months pass you by. Stay motivated!! :)

  70. Shaunda

    January 25, 2013 at 10:38 PM

    Thank you for this post! I really needed, didn’t feel like working out so I got online looking for something to help me stay focused

  71. jessica

    January 25, 2013 at 11:20 PM

    Great article! Thanks so much for helping keep me motivated! I especially like the part about being patient. If you’ve gained weight over a period of years you’re not going to lose it all overnight. I’ve been dieting (eating under 2000 calories a day using the my fitness pal calorie tracker app) for 2 months and lost 15 lbs. I was doing great and then… I started slacking. I gained a pound back.
    And I was devastated. But hey weight fluctuates depending upon water weight/ whether you’ve gone to the bathroom / etc. Rather than giving up I need to calm down and do better again. I haven’t failed- it’s just a minor setback. If I continue making the right choices I’ll continue progressing. My goal atm is 15 pounds. If I can have a total weight loss of 30 lbs I will be ecstatic! And it will have been worth all the effort!

  72. jessica

    January 25, 2013 at 11:25 PM

    “My weight won’t budge (except moving up) despite eating healthy and being VERY active. I’m discouraged. I feel like everyone can lose weight except me.”

    Candy have you had blood tests from your doctor?
    I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. And one of the side-effects is increased weight gain. It messes with your hormones and that can make you gain wait. There are other health conditions diabetes/high thyroid that can make it extremely hard to lose weight. I’m actually surprised since my thyroid level was high that I was able to lose weight so easily. I thought I was going to have to take medication for thyroid and /or birth control or metformin for the PCOS/hormones. I lost 15 pounds and then I talked to my doctor and he put me on metformin. Going back to do more blood work in two weeks to see if it’s helping.

    Excerpted from 5 Reasons Why You Won’t Lose Weight | A Black Girl’s Guide To Weight Loss

  73. jessica

    January 25, 2013 at 11:26 PM

    weight not wait* sorry typo

  74. Dee

    March 4, 2013 at 5:37 AM

    HA! Okay this article was great. I started working out with DVD’s this week and almost didn’t because I felt like I need a tv with a DVD player, even though I have a tv and a separate DVD player, but I wanted to move them to my “home gym” the garage. Anywho I said SELF do you really need another TV/DVD combo to get the job done, or you just want it. Answer, just want it. So I nix the idea and use our portable DVD player which only gets used on trips and since we don’t fly that much, yeah it hardly gets used. What I love about using the portable is, its not huge so I can’t see the people on the video in my peripheral vision thus assisting me to go at my pace not theirs and risk injuring my self. LOVE the article ESP about PATIENCE!!!

  75. Kim

    March 4, 2013 at 8:50 AM

    Really enjoy your site. This posting was especially helpful. Nailed It! You are such an inspiration :)

  76. Sonya

    March 17, 2013 at 8:24 PM

    Ok Erika…. you actually sound like my God-Daddy! All I can say is when I get off @ 11:30 tonight, I’m heading to the gym. The crazy thing is once I get there I’m fine. Thank you for the realistic posts! :-)

  77. JuJuB

    April 4, 2013 at 2:46 PM

    Well, I have consequences to pay for today’s lunch. Ugh! This is why I should have never ‘moved’ my AM workout to PM. AM workouts set my day better in every way imaginable!

  78. chanela17

    April 8, 2013 at 12:48 AM

    actually, i DO gain like 7lbs in a week.lol some mysterious things happen to me where one day my pants fit me really loose, and then the next week the pants won’t even go up my thighs… then it’s loose again.

    -_-

    • Erika Nicole Kendall

      April 8, 2013 at 3:04 PM

      Does that time manage to come either a week before, or a week after, your cycle? Because that pretty much explains that. LOL

  79. Dena Lee

    June 30, 2013 at 6:40 PM

    This is so true, and I’ve been guilty of most of them. Glad your website is here to remind me that I can get back on track. :)

  80. Michelle

    July 23, 2013 at 9:22 AM

    Related to all 5.

  81. LizPop

    August 24, 2013 at 5:43 AM

    Thank you for this, I felt so disheartened when I got on the scale this morning… my impatience gets the better of me.

    Please keep reminding me this change is for life…

    (and thank you for this wonderful blog)

  82. Ylonda

    August 29, 2013 at 6:09 PM

    Did not feel like working out, I have been walking 5 miles everyday. I am really not feeling it. I’m sleepy and I have to work 3rd tonight. However I’m getting up RIGHT NOW!!! dang

  83. Marina

    September 22, 2013 at 7:28 PM

    Thank you for this website. I feel the love you put into it… and others.

  84. Bethany

    January 21, 2014 at 7:37 PM

    And as far as a little weight gain (in some comment i read along the lines of working out way hard and gaining 5lbs)

    Muscle weighs more so it could’ve been you gained some.

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