A Year Ago Today

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

by Erika

A year ago today, I weighed 281lbs.

I worked out in a gym for six months, and didn’t have much to show for it. I mean, yes – some weight loss took place, lots of muscle development took place, but I still felt so defeated. I wanted to lose inches!! I wanted to be smaller! Why was I not progressing!

This was the start of a 3 month break from fitness. I just… I had other priorities. I had other focuses. I had other places my energy needed to be directed toward. I didn’t need the constant disappointment of trying to be healthier and failing. Repeatedly. Miserably. I just didn’t want to be bothered.

Well, in 3 months, I gained 10lbs.Yeah, it was a stressful 3 months and I was running to food to try to give me temporary release and relief… but 10lbs? Ten pounds? By March, I realized… “Well, if I’m going to have the gauntlet thrown at me, I might as well prepare my body for it.”

I started thinking about how I can properly tackle my health without cheating, being lazy, getting in my own way. A lifestyle change that would become second nature. I thought about this… over a bowl of queso. That I ate… for breakfast.

By late April (the picture above is from April), I got into the habit of cooking everything I ate. I realized that perhaps if it were more difficult for me to indulge in the foods I liked, I wouldn’t indulge so much. If I wanted cookies, I had to bake them myself. If I wanted queso, I had to make it myself. Want a quesadilla? Do it yourself. This helped with my blood pressure. Why? Because processed foods overdo it on the salt. It helped with my risk for overeating. Why? Because I was eating whole nutrients… my body was getting the nutrition it was looking for, so I wasn’t continually compelled to keep eating while my body sought out nutrition.

As soon as I got my eating habits together, I dropped 17lbs. That was when I realized what kept me from losing the inches I wanted – I was still filling my body with crap! I finally figured out how I could get a lock on this thing… and just like that, I started working out again.

Just going for a walk every day and eating better, I lost another 15lbs. I was doing so much more than my body was used to… that it was burning all kinds of energy to keep up. It wasn’t used to this kind or amount of effort! I had properly shocked my body, revved up my engine, and was on my way.

6 months later, another 50lbs was gone. I’m not as concerned with the pounds as much as I am concerned with the inches. Why? Because I’ve developed ab, leg, and thigh muscles that weigh just as much as – if not more than – the fat I once carried… and although it might cause me to put on more weight on the scale, my figure has still become much more lean.

I’ve probably lost about 20lbs in the past 3 months, but I’ve lost about 21″ total – 2″ from each thigh, 4″ from my low-rise waist, 4″ from my normal waist, 2″ from each arm, 2″ from the band in my bust, and 3″ from my hips. I can see cuts in my arms, and lines in my abs. My face is way more defined… I feel like a different woman. When I do my Yoga poses, I can see development in my thighs. When I stand in my high heels, I can see lines in my calves from my knee to my ankle. So my scale might be slow, but my tape measure is movin’!

How am I developing nutritionally? There is one processed item in my pantry that is not organic: goldfish crackers. Dreaded things. (I know I’ve written about how my love of these things plagues me.) If my daughter didn’t love them, I might throw them away. Hey, she’s young – I might throw them away, anyway. Besides… it’s my house.

I still cook everything I eat. I get a little more jazzy and bake things that I shouldn’t be eating – home made or not – but at least I’m not gaining weight at the speed I was before. I’m way more mindful of what I’m putting in my body. Thinking about this makes me more emotional than you think… because it passes on to my daughter. If given a choice between those goldfish crackers and a handful of blueberries, she’s going to choose the blueberries. I didn’t have that foresight as a child. If I had, I might not’ve spent middle school as a size 15.

I’m more comfortable working out in front of others, now. Which translates into my being more comfortable with myself as a whole. It’s easier for me to accept my shortcomings because I know the greatest of my troubles – my health – were able to be tamed… there’s nothing I can’t do at this point. My struggle with my weight has taught me the value of facing my shortcomings head on. If I don’t be honest and real with myself about the source of a problem, how could I ever possibly and effectively find a solution? Ever since I’ve had this epiphany – this newfound value in self-transparency – my life is so much less stressful. There’s less satisfaction found in dramatizing the problem, and the peace found in having obtained the solution is way more valuable.

All things I didn’t have a year ago. I didn’t weigh 185 a year ago. I also didn’t have a size 8 shape a year ago. Yay me.

Looking at everything I’ve left in 2008, I am excited to see what I leave behind in 2009. How I learn, how I grow, how I use what I’ve learned to help others. Hopefully, I’ll leave those stupid goldfish crackers behind. That’s first on the list.

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23 Comments

Dec 23, 2009

Jubilance

AMAZING!

Like seriously. I’m so proud of you!!!

My diet is the sole reason why I am 225 lbs right now. The absolute biggest I’ve ever been, and I absolutely can’t stand it. And its cause I’m lazy, I picked up the habit of grabbing things on the go in grad school, and now that I have the money & time to cook, I’d still rather be lazy.

But I don’t want to be lazy anymore, its not worth it.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Dec 23, 2009

Valerie

amazing story. it brings tears to my eyes and hope in my heart. keep up the good work.
Dec 23, 2009

Melody

Wow – your story is such an inspiration. Continued good health and progress in 2010!
Dec 23, 2009

Scooter

Very inspiring. I’m trying to change my trifling ways. I keep reading your blog and I know that change is gonna come.

Kudos on your success!
Dec 23, 2009

Ralonda

Thank you so much for creating this blog. I have been reading it for a month or so now, and I am coming to understand my struggle a bit better. I have been overweight since I was 7 years old. I am now 24. My grandmother put me on countless diets, even diet pills (yellowjackets) once. Now I am realizing (slowly, but progress is progress) that this is not easy and calls for a drastic lifestyle change. I am now taking steps to ensure that I can at least enjoy the last half of my 20s. I have a dr.s appointment now to get a physical so that I can do this safely.
You have inspired me. God bless you.
Dec 23, 2009

Ebs

You are such an inspiration. I want to change the way I eat in 2010 and you have given me some great tips. Now I know where to start. I just bought a cook book with simple, healthy recipes.

Question- Did you see a nutritionist at any point during your weight loss journey?
- Dec 23, 2009
  
  Erika
  
  Ladies,
  
  Thank you so much for your kind words! One of these days, I’ll have to thoroughly outline my journey so that perhaps it can help a little more.
  
  During my entire process, I never saw a nutritionist, but I DID do a LOT of research. Most of what I learned, I’m fully intending to share here.
Dec 23, 2009

P.

Boooooo….. *sprinkles salt* lol

(just kidding… good work woman. Maybe one of these days you can actually try out what I sent to you in that Zshare link lol)
Dec 23, 2009

Ironlady

Wonderful story! You found “The Secret” that so many of us overlook. Diet and proper nutrition is 85% of the healthy and fitness equation. Working out is VERY important, but if you are still eating junk, it’s not going to help with weight. Congrats on the weight loss and your healthy NEW life!
Dec 24, 2009

SoJo

WOW!!!! Absolutely amazing. I recently started following you on twitter and knew that you had a health and fitness blog, but had absolutely no idea how far you’d come in your journey!

CONGRATS!!! And double congrats for doing it the right way. You’ve got a new reader in me.

*bookmarking site and adding to Google Reader*
Dec 24, 2009

lesley hal

Wow! I was just telling my friends we need to do better when one emailed me your blog. you are such an encouragment.i know it will not be an easy process and that i will have to be patient. Keep up the great work! i look ofrward to reading your blogs from here on out!
Dec 27, 2009

Jackie Toye

Thanks for the motivation .. I’m getting back on the horse. Like you, I’m diving into “cooking everything myself” … I am definitely Restaurant Fat!
Dec 29, 2009

Nancy

I’m so glad I found your blog! I am starting my own journey now (at 260lbs) and I desparately need some inspiration. Thanks so much for sharing your story with us
Jan 5, 2010

Shannon

I am truly glad that I stumbled upon your blog because it is giving me the boost and encouragement that I need. I am the heaviest that I have ever been and I need to lost some weight. I have been on diet pills and even thinking about the lapband surgery but deep down inside I want to lose the weight without surgery or medication but with strong determination and will power. My biggest problem is that I love food. I always start a diet, lose weight and stop when I see a little success. This is going to be a long and hard journey for me, but I am going to start now.
Jan 5, 2010

Shannon

I forgot to tell you, that you look “FAB”…Keep up the good work:)))
Feb 1, 2010

Diva Style

LOVE THIS!!! Will be making you a regular stop on my blogroll!!! Very inspiring!
Jun 26, 2010

IrieDiva

a size 8?!?!?! DAMN i am now 185 i think and im about a size 12 or 14….sigh

the beginning of the journey always look so hard but i am determined to reach the end

thank you for sharing, your site is a staple along my journey
Jun 29, 2010

Gabulous

I am so excited that I found this site! You are an inspiration to many. Congrats on your successes.
- Jun 29, 2010
  
  Erika
  
  Thank you!
Jul 15, 2010

Kem

“If I don’t be honest and real with myself about the source of a problem, how could I ever possibly and effectively find a solution? Ever since I’ve had this epiphany – this newfound value in self-transparency – my life is so much less stressful. There’s less satisfaction found in dramatizing the problem, and the peace found in having obtained the solution is way more valuable.”

Your story is amazing and inspirational but the above quote truly blessed me! Thank you for sharing your knowledge and most importantly – thank you for sharing your testimony for it is truly a blessing!
Jul 18, 2010

Mydria

Your story is amazing. And your site has so many helpful tips. You truly are an inspiration to me, and I can’t wait to get on the right path to weight loss! So glad I read this right before heading over to Starbucks for breakfast!
Jul 21, 2010

DrMom

OK…my a/c went out (I live in Fl) and I had to escape to a hotel. Obviously the hotel lighting and mirror lovations were different and I got a good look at myself from a different vantage point than I’m accustomed to (not that I thought I was Naomi Sims in the 1st place) and I was truly HORRIFIED!!! I took myself back to Weight Watchers the very next day and I’ve gotta get a grip on what is clearly an out of control woman…and I’ve got the 250 lbs to prove it. I found your blog after the WW mtg. and it is just what I needed. Thanks so much for sharing sistah to sistah. Continued Success and I look foward to joining you!
Aug 12, 2010

Nissi

wow you are absolutely amazing! you are where I want to be one year from now! I too am embarking on a weight loss journey and I have 90lbs to go! I would love for you to follow my blog and give me some hints along the way

P.S. u look absolutely stunning! i may have to get some beauty tips from you too!!

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