Comments on: What About Your Friends: Are They Helping Or Hindering Your Progress?

By: cpbkalltheway

cpbkalltheway — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 21:08:56 +0000

Great article!!! This happened to me as well and i was the one who wanted to get in shape and take better care of myself. I have to say that unfortunately, I had no support from family or friends. Everyone thought I got to skinny and it made me feel a bit sad. Fast forward, i just gave birth and I’m trying to get back into shape, and my siblings and mom keep telling me why I’m so worried about my weight and plus, I’m breastfeeding. But i have a supportive, amazing husband who is down for whatever I decide to do and he knows I’m not happy with this size, so he told I better get the working out, lol. I think ppl do get somewhat jealous because they want the same drive and motivation as the person who wants.to get in shape but they are too lazy to do it. And when you have negativity around, it can make you feel like an outsider, like how I did before. And I felt,better hanging out with thinner ppl, I didn’t want that to happen but i was just fed up with the “skinny b*%ch” comments and” oh, there is nothing wrong with eating a real meal”. Lol, I can laugh it now becuz I’m much stronger and don’t give a crappy what ppl say but in the past it made me feel sad and horrible. But I’m different now. Good luck to anyone who is all about being healthy and taking control.

By: Mary Ann MacKay

Mary Ann MacKay — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 02:15:30 +0000

It kind of makes you wonder, doesn’t it? I mean, when I weighed over 300 pounds and people shied away from me, was it because they were afraid of being obese like I was?

How do we love everyone and accept them for who they are without letting them influence our actions? I can really understand that study with the children eating more when they are with friends. We are such social beings, who crave connection and common experiences. We also enjoy sharing, whether it be food, conversation of just good times.

Maybe the answer is to accept personal responsibility for my own actions, love and accept people as they are, and create situations to connect with them that don’t involve food or judgment. Sounds good, now I’ll go give it a try!

By: Stefanie

Stefanie — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 19:55:07 +0000

Hmmm…good one. Well, I’m learning that the best thing to do is be myself. For example, this past Saturday, I went to my first kung fu class. And I had already planned to go to a friend’s house – she was making all sorts of tasty finger food. She also had fruit there. I can’t blame her that I picked up the fried chicken wings, sausage bites/etc, LOL. The option to make healthy choices, a lot of times, is around us. This friend of my is also overweight, plus her other friend that was there is too. So we all kind of enjoyed ourselves with no judging from the next woman. BUT, I was thinking ‘now I know I didn’t want to eat all of this, but it makes me comfortable; we should take a walk afterwards’. But I didn’t say it, I just stayed in my comfort zone.
I won’t blame my friends or family for the choices I make. But what I can do is when I want to get together with friends/family, invite them to do something non food related with me. And if they ask why, I’ll tell them in a loving way. If they love me (which I know they do) and more importantly if they want to enjoy life with me, then I think they’ll be open to try. If not, that’s ok. I won’t kick them to the curb. But my choices and theirs will make a path way for the correct direction of our relationship. I’ve learned that yes, I have lived a certain way a life for a long time. But I know there is a different lifestyle I want to live, and I have to be strong, for myself.

By: Marion@affectionforfitness

Marion@affectionforfitness — Mon, 30 May 2011 23:23:54 +0000

What a great post! I used to feel mad and/or uncomfortable telling people, especially my husband, that I did not want to eat out at a restaurant. Restaurant food gets everyone fatter. I never want anything from the “rabbit menu.” I just didn’t like that whole situation.

So now I tell people that I am glad to keep them company when they eat at a restaurant–and then I don’t eat anything at all except ice water. Other times, when I do want the food, I split it 50/50 with one of my daughters. 50% is still plenty to be happy about. I’ve done this with friends too. We all feel classier and slimmer for it. And the bill is lower too.

Just as some of your friends and family can be bad role models, we can be good role models for them. My kids stopped drinking so much soda pop because I stopped and told them that I wanted to have good teeth when I’m older. My husband is eating oatmeal with banana chunks for breakfast each day because I cook it.

Who is going to change the people around you? Probably you–not some professional nutritionist who has a best-seller. Nobody who has bad food habits reads that kind of stuff.

Marion

By: Chi Chi

Chi Chi — Sat, 21 May 2011 15:33:22 +0000

It’s funny that you write this b/c it brings up what happens unconsciously. I used to have a roommate and she was smaller than me, but she was also overweight. After I moved into my own place, my father said to me “I’m glad you moved out from her, you just kept getting bigger.” Wow!! I couldn’t believe he said that, but I guess I never realized that I probably was more comfortable eating around her b/c she wasn’t so small either. I sure as hell knew wasn’t comfortable eating around my parents.

That being said, all of girlfriends for the most part have are on the smaller side and I can honesly say no one has ever spoken to me about my health or changing my eating habits. Now that I am taking control of my health and making better habits, I get a lot of praise and more consideration about where we should go out to eat and they don’t make a big fuss if I can’t make something b/c I’m working out, etc. Even now I think they are still afraid to talk to me about it, b/c even though I am losing weight, it still relatively new to my lifestyle.

The funny thing is, my male friends ask me all kinds of questions about what I’m doing, how much I do want to lose, how much have I lost and offer to work out with me.

By: julie

julie — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 07:07:52 +0000

I’m having a confusing experience with a friend who had WLS, we were once the same size, then she gained about 100, and I lost 50. She’s not overweight anymore, but doesn’t absorb fat, so wants to eat pizza at 11 pm, doesn’t bother with veggies, and it’s weird to hang with her sometimes. I’ll go out and three of them will all get a sandwich after a few drinks, and I’ll just sit there. I love her dearly, but it trips me out. Plus she smokes a lot of cigarettes, and it makes me want to as well.

By: Tracy

Tracy — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 18:23:24 +0000

This article is SOOOO true!! I know several friends that can benefit from working out and eating healthier, but they don’t. It’s something that has to come from within. Until you are ready to commit, you will only sit around feeling envious of those who have started and begun to see progress. It happened to me. I would see friends start Weight Watchers or some exercise regimen and begin to drop pounds. It would motivate me to an extent, but not enough to get my butt to the gym… at least not consistently. Then, as they became more and more successful, I got more and more resentful. I also had a problem with a “skinny” friend. She was my bestie and could (and would) eat ANYTHING that she wanted without gaining weight. Silly me would be eating right along with her. Over time, I was gaining weight here and there, but *I* didn’t really notice. Everyone else did though! I was mad that my BEST friend didn’t bother checking my behavior and informing me that I was getting a little too chunky. Now, I’m struggling to get the weight off. Personally, I think it’s “crabs in a barrel” syndrome. Some of your “friends” don’t really want to see you get into better shape, as it will (1) take shine away from them or (2) highlight their own shortcomings. Misery loves company and fat people love to have other fat people to support their fatness. If you get healthier and slimmer, who will they have to be fat with?