Oh no, baby. It’s here to stay.

Before I got on the path that eventually worked for me, I used to be a perpetual dieter. Once, it was the tea diet. Next, it was the mashed potato diet. I was always “on a diet.” Eating salads that consisted of….whatever was in the salad bag I bought from the grocery store, miserable and unhappy. (Obviously, I know better now.)

However. In the journey to claim the body I want, and on the path of becoming certified, I learned a few things about the way the body interacts with food. I got to truly see why our choice to use dieting and restriction as our means of weight management is actually far more harmful than it is helpful.

I bet you want me to tell you, huh?

Okay, let me stop being silly. Five things I’ve learned… the hard way… from my own personal experience:

1) We define “diet” and whether or not a diet “works” incorrectly. It’s not enough for a diet to just get you to a certain size – you could starve yourself and get down to a certain size. The standards are too low. Could you starve yourself forever in order to maintain that size? No, you couldn’t.

Your diet is “your eating lifestyle. But for some reason, dieting – in the way that we understand it – says that you take a “sabbatical,” if you will, from how you usually eat in order to shrink down to the size you want… only for you to reach your goal size and go back to your old eating habits. A successful diet is not simply one that gets the weight off; it is whether or not you can live on it forever. A diet is simply “how you eat.” Temporarily switching diets to lose weight, only to go back to the daily eating habits that caused you to gain the weight in the first place… is cyclically foolish.

2) It turns our usual treats into forbidden fruit. That cupcake that you’re obsessed with immediately becomes The Bad Boy Your Parents Warned You To Stay Away From. Your desire for it damn near doubles. You crave it. You yearn for it. And when you get it, it might as well be an orgasm. It feels like the world disappeared, all because you finally got that thing that you’ve been denying yourself for so long.

Listen. Damn all that.

Restriction is dangerous because, coupled with point 1, it’s double cyclical. You restrict yourself from the things you obviously enjoy, you binge on them and overeat, and before you know it? You’re putting the weight back on, and now you need to go on another diet. Isn’t it far more helpful to try to learn how to successfully moderate your intake of your beloved treat, and find a healthy way to fit it into your life?

3) Dieting – and yoyo dieting in particular – actually damages your metabolism, in ways we didn’t originally recognize before. If you’ll remember, in the third portion of Weight of the Nation, there was a lot of time spent on one particular point: if a person who was once 210lbs, diets down to losing 45lbs and becomes 165lbs, their metabolism – and, by metabolism, I’m referring to their daily caloric burn – will actually be lower than someone who has been 165 for years. I have a hypothesis as to why.

When people diet, it’s usually via caloric restriction which can be detrimental to muscle. When people seek to lose weight, there’s rarely any differentiation between losing fat and losing muscle. When people venture out to lose weight, it’s usually through excessive cardio exercise, with little regard paid to weight lifting or strength training in general. If, as you’re losing weight, you’re losing the muscle you already have and not building any more?

Remember two things: 1) the amount of food you can eat without weight gain decreases as you lose weight; and 2) every pound of muscle you carry will burn 2 to 3 times as many calories per hour as every pound of fat you carry, which means losing a pound of muscle is going to be two to three times as detrimental to the amount of calories you burn per hour (and, by extension, per day.)

So, if you’re dieting down to lose 45lbs with little regard to muscle development, this contributes to why your metabolism is going to be lower than someone who’s weighed that amount for years on end.

4) Dieting, as we understand it, puts our focus in the wrong place. The question shouldn’t be “what can I do to lose this weight;” it should always be “what did I do to gain this weight?” Self-reflection is always necessary for improvement, and I’m pretty sure that none of us actually enjoy that feeling of failure that comes with yo-yo dieting. Self-reflection also helps us catch weight gain before it spirals out of control to a point where you look up and realize you have a triple-digit amount of weight to lose. The need to reflect on who you are, your daily habits, and how they contribute to weight gain never goes away; it only stacks up, like unpaid bills. And, much like unpaid bills, the longer you wait, the more you’ll have to pay.

…and self-reflection is a flat-out requirement for even identifying an emotional eating habit that you might’ve picked up, let alone treating or defeating it.

Though I don’t believe in weighing yourself daily, it is important to take stock of it and regularly see if you can identify where any drastic changes might come from. Take 10 minutes a day to overlook your planning, your preparedness, how your previous day went, and what you can do to make it better today. It makes a massive difference.

5) Dieting, and the way it is promoted, contributes to the belief that the most important thing is that you’re simply not fat anymore; it doesn’t matter whether or not you’re healthily losing whatever weight you have. Just… stop being fat. And the marketing for damn-near every diet that has ever existed has always included the speed of weight loss – “How to lose 10lbs in 2 weeks!” or “Lose 7lbs in 7 days!” or, my favorite, “Lose 200lbs in 6mos!” (uh, I think that’s called divorce.) – and takes advantage of those who already feel the pressures that come along with being fat-shamed.

Diets and their pushers profit off of people – some, not all – who’ve been pushed to deprive themselves in ways that are psychologically unhealthy (see point 2 above), physically unsound (see point 3 above), and bound to leave you miserable.

It turns the actual weight loss into some kind of prize; a gold medal for suffering successfully… which, conversely, turns those who are still fat into some kind of lazy bums who couldn’t work as hard as you.

Dieting sucks. We all can admit that. But what good is it, if we’re simply restricting ourselves in insensible fashions and not actually changing the environment and habits that contributed to the gain?

Focus on what’s important, and watch your body thank you for it.

*If posting has felt scarce, it’s because I’d been extra-involved at Mini-me’s school lately. My bad, y’all, but the munchkin has to come first!

Friday 5: 5 Things I Learned the Hard Way About Dieting is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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This is my BBQ blend... before it's blended in!

1-2 tbsp olive oil

1 medium-sized onion, finely chopped

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 14oz can of diced tomatoes

1 cup apple cider vinegar

1/4 cup worcestershire sauce

1/3 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup molasses

2 tbsp mustard

1 tbsp horseradish

1/4 cup lemon juice

1/2tsp chipotle pepper (paprika will do if you don’t have any)

1 tbsp chili powder

Whisk together all the dry ingredients, then add your wet ingredients one by one. Ta-da!

Spicy Barbecue Sauce is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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3/4 cup  finely chopped broccoli

Vegetable Quesadillas is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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Post tags: broccoli, carrot, fage, fage yogurt, green onion, jalapeno, onion, tortillas

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My arch nemesis...goldfish crackers! Credit: Lin Pernille

Regardless of what might’ve introduced you to this rule, I’m sure you’re familiar with it in either of its two forms.

In the first form, it says that you will always see 80% of your results from 20% of your work. While that definitely applies in fitness – specifically since eating properly is easily the most important of developing a fit life – this isn’t the version I’m addressing today.

What I’m embracing today, is the version of the 80/20 rule that says you shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Look at it this way. During the Clean Eating challenge, I had a lot of people send me e-mails about how they were doing soooooooo well with the challenge until they encountered the [insert processed food] or until they drove past the [insert fast food joint.] At that point, they realized that they had failed, and gave up on the challenge.

What?

A few weeks ago, I wrote that I don’t believe in the concept of “cheating” on your clean eating, and I meant that. Let me quote something I said there:

People who take on temporary diets to lose a few pounds, only to revert right back to the habits that caused them to pack on the pounds in the first place… they “cheat” their diets every now and again. They “cheat” and eat the way they used to, because they’ve realized that they took on a diet that was far too restrictive for their natural liking – in a cold turkey kind of way, at that – and regress… without really learning anything from the situation altogether.

I can’t support that for a ton of reasons.

Firstly, it implies – like I mentioned – that you took on something too restrictive and too soon. Why? Are you trying to fit in a dress before the weekend, or are you trying to change things up so that you never have a problem getting in that dress again? Why did you go cold turkey? Don’t we know a gazillion people who’ve tried to cut things (namely smoking) cold turkey, only to regress because it was too much to bear?

Secondly, it implies that we don’t recognize that the habits/food items we used to “cheat” are the ones that got us in this mess in the first place! If I have committed to clean eating, decide to have a “cheat day” when I come home from work and have a TV dinner… y’know, because I’m sooooo tired and need to relax after a long day? C’mon, man! That ain’t gon’ cut it! The TV dinner might not even be that terrible – it’s not the food that’s the problem! It’s the habit. Coming home and not having anything healthy prepped for you to take? Coming home and having the TV dinner in the house in the first place? That’s the kind of stuff that results in you hitting up a fast food joint.

So, having re-stated that… let me explain the 80/20 rule as it applies to fitness. You don’t give up 80% of all of what you’ve earned for the 20% that you don’t have! You don’t give up on what you’ve taught yourself simply because you haven’t learned to resist a few things, or because you haven’t learned to get up from the bed and hit the gym early or even because you can’t seem to put down the ice cream after a few scoops!

You’ve worked hard. You’ve read all my posts about processed food, and you know that some foods that you’ve lived for and grown to love are the foods that are getting in your way. You can’t just snap your fingers and expect to wake up one morning with all of those cravings to just go away! This isn’t a temporary deal – this is a lifestyle that you must embrace, and quitting on the whole thing simply because you can’t give up the scalloped potatoes (yes, I go hard on the scalloped potatoes!) is the most absurd thing you could do.

I used to have an addiction. I used to slaughter giant boxes of goldfish crackers. I mean, I could kill an entire small pack in one day’s time.

I can assure you I didn’t just wake up one morning with the ability to resist them. I’d buy them for my little one, and I’d spend an entire day creeping back and forth getting small handfuls of them. I’d spend all day going back and forth just getting one. Then, I only bought the small packages that came pre-wrapped (and subsequently felt bad about all the trash they created.) I eventually realized that I simply couldn’t come in contact with them, and stopped buying them. It literally took me a year to resolve my goldfish craving.

Let me put it into perspective: it took me a year to resolve my goldfish craving. It took me approximately 8mos to lose 100lbs. Had I taken that mentality of “Aw, I can’t give up my goldfish cravings, I might as well quit.. this is hopeless,” I’d still be 300some odd pounds. I would’ve given up 80% of my successes because of the 20% that I struggled with.

This is not about dieting. It’s about changing the lifestyle that allowed you to put on (and KEEP ON) the weight that you shouldn’t have on in the first place. So no, the concept of “cheating” is ludicrous… as is the thought that you should quit after completing 80% of the race because the 20% gets too tough. Don’t get hung up on the simple stuff. Not only is it a small hurdle in a long race, but it’s a hurdle that – with enough momentum – you can easily hop right over.

The 80/20 Rule… Fitness Style is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2013. | Permalink | 18 Comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: clean eating, mentality

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Once we’d arrived home, the little one would begin helping me put away the groceries. She wasn’t slick – she was looking for the snacks. Sure enough, she’d find her pot of gold.

“Mommom, can I have some?” with her adorable little toddler face that I clearly wasn’t about to turn down. I’d open the bag, pour some out onto her high chair, let slide into her seat and munch away. Before putting the bag away, though, I’d always pour a few into my hand. Not really knowing exactly why I had done that, I shrugged it off and said to myself “It’s just a snack… it’s okay in moderation.” Just have to moderate my intake. Right.

Sure enough, ten minutes later, I’d get back up and saunter off into the kitchen… grabbing another handful of goldfish. And fifteen minutes after that… a third handful more. Sure enough, before long I’d realized that I was so far away from the concept of “moderation” that I flushed it out of my mind so that I wouldn’t feel guilty about eating an entire bag of goldfish in approximately two hours time.

I can eat all of that... if I eat it in moderation. Duh.

Now, I’m in a different place mentally, with a different understanding and a brand new set of questions.

The idea of “fine in moderation,” quite frankly… is bull. That’s right. I said it. It’s baloney. It’s a farce. A myth. A unicorn. A leprechaun. Make-believe. Doesn’t exist. An excuse companies gave you so that you could justify still buying their product… even though you shouldn’t.

Now, when I hear the term “fine in moderation,” it’s usually attached to things like “soft drinks,” “potato chips,” “sweets,” “crap food,” “junk food” or “comfort food.” The word “moderation” is used like some vague measurement that never has any actual values or figures attached.. it’s just.. there. It’s used as an excuse to wash away any guilt one may have for buying something they know they should not.

I don’t hear people saying “Oh, broccoli is fine… in moderation.”

“Oh, water is fine… in moderation.”

“Oh, spinach is fine… in moderation.”

Maybe that’s the case because no one ever eats those things to a point of harmful excess. That should be a hint.

Foods that have their sugar/fat/salt ratio down perfectly are going to be “so good” that you’ll have a hard time controlling yourself around them. That’s the point. You eat it, the sugar makes you happy, the fat calms you down, the salt makes you want more. You eat it all and, after having had a good experience with it, you are that much more compelled to go buy more. Every time you have a good experience with “it,” that experience makes it that much easier to buy it again, that much harder to pass up, and that much more difficult to develop will power against it. It’s a cycle – a vicious cycle – that all starts with “I can buy this. It’s fine in moderation.”

It’s crap.

Even if you are someone who can only take a bite or two of something and put it back… how do you quantify “moderate use?” I’ve heard advice that said “one soda a day is fine.” Is that moderate to you? No, really – how do we quantify what is “moderate” use? Is it “just enough before I start to suffer the negative effects of doing whatever it is I shouldn’t be doing?” I hope that isn’t it… because if we, as a nation, can’t see the negative effects our current habits have on our bodies – if we didn’t know when to stop indulging before – we certainly don’t know how to gauge when to stop now… and keeping our heads in the proverbial lion’s mouth by buying things we simply should not have isn’t the proper way to teach ourselves. At all.

My next question is… are we talking about individual junk food items being acceptable in moderation, or all the junk food in our diet? Are we even identifying junk food properly? Do we think about these things when we decide to make the purchase, open the bag, or put it in our mouths? Do we think about what else we’re eating in moderation? Is a day of soda (in moderation), chips (in moderation), pudding (in moderation), kool-aid (in moderation) and ice cream (in moderation, of course) still considered someone who exercises moderation? I don’t think so.

How do I define moderate use of THIS?

When I think of the foods I enjoy nowadays, I think about how limited I used to be. Buying things that I felt guilt about, eating them in quantities that made me feel guilty and sad that I had no self-control.. and feeling emotionally forced to buy them again and “try to develop self-control” put me in a cycle that only made me feel worse about my “inability to be an adult” about food. Well, let me tell you. I figured out how to avoid that trauma. I stopped buying foods for which I had to feel guilty. There’s no sense in emotionally penalizing myself for not being able to control myself around foods that are especially engineered to make me lose control. I shouldn’t feel bad about eating. I should feel bad about justifying harmful foods with something as vague and excuse-ey as “it’s fine in moderation.” It’s a lame, pathetic way to avoid being realistic with myself about a very important truth: that I cannot simply just eat what I want, and expect health [and weight loss] to still come to me. It simply does not work that way.

Be realistic. Anything that you have to attach a disclaimer like “in moderation” to… is not “good for you.” If it is “devil’s food,” just admit it. Be honest. If you know you shouldn’t be eating it, work on that part – you know, the part of you where you stop buying it or start throwing it away – instead of trying to cover it up by putting a cute little undefinable label like “moderation” on it. Only then can you truly start to experience and enjoy progress.

What Does “It’s Fine In Moderation” Really Mean? is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2013. | Permalink | 31 Comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: moderation, myths

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Pay very close attention to his explanation and execution, and then give it a shot yourself!

Squats is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2013. | Permalink | 8 Comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Booty, exercise, Legs

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One day my husband arrived home from the supermarket with a product that piqued my curiosity. He couldn’t find our usual brand of Bell & Evans breaded, frozen chicken tenders—I like their thick, meaty texture, which makes them seem a bit closer to the real thing—and instead got Applegate Farms Organic Chicken Strips.

I heated up the strips, which looked more like nuggets, and tasted them. The texture was airy and spongy, not very meaty. The chicken struck me as highly processed, but the box said that what I was eating was, in fact, “minimally processed.” The listed ingredients seemed simple enough—organic chicken, water, organic rice starch, sea salt and natural flavor

Intrigued and confused, I added the remaining frozen nuggets to the collection of foods that I was leaving to age, as research for my book. (And, yes, I know that this was not a rigorous scientific experiment.) I prepared myself for an awful smell.

After about two weeks, the Applegate nuggets, which I’d placed in a Ziploc bag left slightly open, had essentially liquefied, with the outlines of the individual chicken pieces no longer visible. The whole thing was soft and mushy to the touch, and the color had darkened.

Left curious, she did what any food nerd fantasizes about doing – she contacted a co-founder of the company in question, Applegate Farms:

After this experience, I talked with Chris Ely, one of Applegate’s founders. He said that the company was definitely “not in the sponge business.” He added, “When you bite into our nuggets, you’ll notice that our meat is a little loose in the center.” More-conventional manufacturers, he said, mix their product excessively, using various additives to absorb water and bind everything together snugly, lowering the cost.

When I told Mr. Ely about my experiment, he said that though he had never tested his product this way (who would?), the chicken might be more prone to disassembly because it isn’t bound together with additives. Another company’s nuggets (this time with sodium phosphate and other additives) dissolved in the same way when I later tested them. But the Bell & Evans tenders did well with the two-week test: I got foul-smelling chicken, but it remained intact.

I told Mr. Ely that my results suggested that his chicken was more of a maximally processed product than a “minimally processed” one, as the box said.

“I can see your point,” he said, and he eventually explained how the strips are made. A hand-deboned whole chicken, together with other listed ingredients, is coarse-ground and then fed into an extruder that forms it into identical pieces. After that comes a breading device, a fryer, cooking in an oven and freezing.

Making packaged frozen nuggets that resemble real chicken may not be possible without dialing back some of the industrial manipulation. Bell & Evans tenders, sold raw, are subjected to one quick frying to set the breading, instead of Applegate’s complete oven cooking. There’s no extruder.

Mr. Ely says, “In today’s food-safety world, uncooked really scares me,” though Bell & Evans has never had a recall of its products.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve definitely left cooked chicken in the fridge for too long, before. It hardens – it doesn’t liquefy. And, while many of us might be willing to question why she was hunting for chicken nuggets instead of making her own in the first place – if you’ve got kids whom you would rather microwave something instead of having them whip out the buttermilk and the bags of flour, that’s a good reason why – I think it’s more a matter of knowing what we can about our food purchases.

No, she didn’t use infallible science to determine that Applegate Farms is from the pits of hell or something, but it’s an interesting question: regular chicken, left in the fridge un-messed-with, hardens and might grow mold. If a “natural” chicken nugget turns into soup, then is something wrong with the nugget? What makes it so different? Should I be eating it? It’s one thing for a nugget to liquefy; would it disturb us more if it lasted forever (or not really)?

What do you think? Are there any foods you think would fail this “fridge test?”

Supermarket Swindle: Adventures of Liquid – Yes, Liquid – Chicken is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2013. | Permalink | 1 Comment | Add to del.icio.us
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Position a rack in the lower third of the oven, set a large rimmed baking sheet on the rack, and heat the oven to 475°F. Season the chicken thighs all over with salt and pepper.

Heat the oil in a heavy-duty ovenproof 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat until shimmering hot. Swirl to coat the pan bottom. Arrange the chicken in the pan skin side down in a single layer (it will likely be a snug fit), cover with an ovenproof splatter screen (if you have one) and cook until the skin is deep golden-brown, about 7 minutes. Turn the thighs and transfer the skillet and splatter screen, if using, to the oven. Roast until an instant-read thermometer inserted into the thickest part of a thigh registers 170°F, 5 to 8 minutes. Transfer to a plate.

Pour off all but 1 Tbs. fat from the skillet. Add the shallots and sauté over medium heat until softened, about 2 minutes. Stir in the flour until combined. Stir in the beer, chicken broth, maple syrup, and thyme. Increase the heat to high and bring to a boil, scraping up any browned bits from the skillet with a wooden spoon. Simmer vigorously until reduced to about 1 cup, about 3 minutes. Remove from the heat and whisk in the mustard, then the butter. Season the sauce to taste with salt and pepper.

To serve, dip each chicken thigh in the sauce and turn to coat. Arrange 2 thighs on each of 4 plates, spoon additional sauce over them, and garnish with the thyme. Serve immediately.

Chicken Thighs Pan Seared In a Maple Syrup Mustard Sauce is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2013. | Permalink | 2 Comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: chicken, maple syrup

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Trying to attract men… or trying to keep a man… or trying to please a man.

This isn’t some man-hating thesis… I love my men just as much as the next hetero chick (or gay dude, for that matter) but for crying out loud, I have to set some boundaries in regards to just how much of my life revolves around them.

When I chat with women about fitness, we inevitably have the “boo” conversation.

“Hey… I’m just tryin’ to get a boo.”

“Girl, you’re crazy. I get plenty of boos right now with all this booty and all these thighs!”

Then, you get your skinny minnies joining the conversation and pissing everybody off:

“I just want thicker thighs, but I can’t eat all that cornbread! I’m tired of being called skinny!”

Sure enough, we all leave the conversation a little more angry, a little more tired, and a little more depressed than when we entered.

I see three major issues, here.

Firstly, to the woman losing weight solely to get the man – once you get the man, are you pretty much done caring for and maintaining your body? Are you going to skip the working out and eating properly because you “got your boo?” I mean, really – talk about a bait and switch. We’d be mad as sin if he (or she?) only opened doors and pulled out chairs to make us swoon and once he felt like we were deep enough in love, gave up on that stuff. Find yourself valuable enough to be a person worth pleasing. If you’re at a point where appearance is important, be invested enough in pleasing yourself with your appearance… that you’ll work to maintain it for all time. Not just for now… or until he puts a ring on it. Sure enough, you’ll be forced to adopt healthier choices and everyone will be healthier in the long run.

Secondly, to the woman who believes she doesn’t need to lose weight specifically because all the men are praising her frame. There is nothing worse than a woman who uses outside validation as an excuse for not keeping herself in check. It’s one thing to appreciate outside validation (“Oh, girl, you look great!” or the “Wow, you’re getting small!”), but to use it as the basis and/or grounds for decisions in my personal life? Unacceptable.

It’s bad enough that society tells us, on a daily basis, that the end goal for women is [not a successful career, not a dope loft in a bustling metropolitan city, not even CEO status.. but] a happy family and a man. It’s bad enough that we keep being told “Have babies or your eggs will shrivel up to nothingness and you will be worthless, girl!” Letting men (or any outside factor, for that matter) play such a huge role in how concerned (or unconcerned, for that matter) we are with our overall health is just doing too much.

When I first started out on my own path for weight loss, I had a supportive boyfriend. He wasn’t pushing me in either direction – in fact, I think he knew this was a journey I needed to figure out on my own for me. I needed to stand on my own two feet emotionally. I needed to support myself. I needed to be my own cheerleader first, and allow the support of others to come second. I’m thankful for that, because our relationship didn’t last. I can only imagine where I’d be had he chosen otherwise and I’d relied on him to keep me focused, because heaven knows I wasn’t that emotionally stable when it came to self-care. I just now happen to have the hindsight to appreciate how things worked out for me, and how I developed an ability to spot what I needed (notice all the italicized “I needed”s in this paragraph.) and how important it was to make sure that I had what I needed emotionally. No one takes care of you better than you. Ever.

And speaking of hindsight, now I know that the “support from others” is not only conditional, but temporary. Since you, shrinking down in size, means you might be looking more like them/better than them, they become less and less likely to cheer you on in the future. Just like how I wrote about friendships either helping or hindering our efforts to be healthier, those friends might’ve been keeping you around because [in some sick and twisted way] you made them feel better about not being… like you. Becoming a healthier version of yourself – regardless of whether or not that includes weight loss – not only shines an uncomfortable light on their own habits, but makes people feel competitive. Especially if they saw you as beneath them.

Not saying everyone is like that, but dang if it didn’t happen. Please believe the “Wow, you’re getting small!”s eventually turn into “Wow, you’re too skinny, now! Here, have some more [insert crap], girl. Eat up.” and behind your back? It’s probably “That bitch needs a cookie… or a cheeseburger.”

Now, I get questions like “So are you dating much more now that you’ve lost weight?” and get blank stares when I reply, “I’m not dating at all. I’m too focused on me right now to get to know anyone new.”

“Awww, girl, you’re wasting all that hard work!”

Aw, word? So.. my losing weight, escaping diabetes and hypertension, and changing my habits was… to expand my dating options? I mean, forget the fact that I wanted to make sure that if I needed to protect my child and I, I could. And forget the fact that I wanted to make sure that I’d be around long enough to see my grandchildren graduate college. And even forget the fact that I needed to know that I wasn’t actively contributing to my own demise all for the sake of something stupid like the kind of food I insisted on shoving down my throat.

My hard work was wasting because… I wasn’t dating. Priorities, people.

I’m convinced that there’s a conspiracy out there meant to prevent women from valuing themselves and their own opinions enough to be comfortable with shutting out society. Heaven forbid we be empowered enough to tell someone exactly where they – and their silly opinions – can go.

I think that we can all say that 80% of weight loss is eating properly. I think we can also say that for so many of us, our eating problems come from an emotional place. If there’s an emotional void, why allow someone other than ourselves to fill it? Why allow ourselves to rely on something or someone so flimsy?

Let’s be honest about it: no other person, no outside source of validation – whether you’re seeking that validation or already have that validation – can replace how we feel about ourselves… and if we feel like we need to tune up our habits, tighten up our physiques or eat better? Then we need to believe enough in ourselves, have enough faith in ourselves, and value our own opinions enough to make it happen. It’s as simple as that.

Men And Your Weight is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2013. | Permalink | 55 Comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: dating, health, men, perceptions, relationships, selfishness

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As I reflect, I figure someone could take something away from my notes, here. Though I’m writing about this and thinking about my race experience, I think I’d probably take this approach for any new race I was running. Many people run the same races over and over again each year… but in order to do that, you’ve got to run it that first time, first. Here are a few things I’m probably going to have to consider while preparing for new races:

1) Do some spy-work. Find out about the race track before you get to the starting line. What threw me for a major loop is the abundance of hills in the race and, as we all know, having to hike up a hill not only affects everyone’s speed, thereby causing them all to get in your way, but also affects your energy expenditure. If you’re meticulous about your energy intake and expenditure throughout your race, an unexpected hill will greatly affect whether or not you’ve got enough energy to carry you through the next fueling station.

2) Figure out your particular race’s procedures in advance, and prepare for that. It’s one thing to understand “how most races operate,” but how does your race operate? Do you have friends, running group-mates, twitter followers or facebook friends who’ve run your race? Can they tell you what to expect? I can tell you straight up, I wasn’t prepared. I almost missed my starting time because I had to dart across the Pentagon parking lot to drop my things off and then run – literally, Go-Greased-Lightning-style – back to my wave to get started. Be obnoxious with your question asking, and ask an official, or someone who has clearly run it before. Carefully review what you receive from your race packet, and hit up your twitter (and follow @bgg2wl!) or your FB (and like BGG2WL) and ask questions there. Before you know it, you’ll feel more prepared… and won’t almost miss your starting time… like somebody we know.

3) Find out about water and fueling stations, and govern yourself accordingly. The Army Ten Miler had water and fueling stations every 2 miles which can be every 30 minutes for a newbie runner, or every 18 minutes if you’re a #bawse. Plan ahead – do you need water in faster time increments than that? If so, do you need to acquire a reliable fuel belt? Do you need to get yourself a back-pack-water-juggy-thingy?

4) Figure out your potty situation. And, if you’re running the Army Ten Miler, realize that there is no peeing in the Potomac. I’m going to have to spend the next year training myself to accept port-a-potties in my life… or learning how to install a catheter. I’m kidding. Sorta. It is absolutely unrecommended to run any extended race with no hydration, but you also have to account for potty-waiting time in your running time… which is frustrating if you’ve got a time goal you’re trying to meet.

5) There’s community out there. Don’t forget to smile and laugh, and take in everything around you. Y’all are out there struggling together. There was one guy, in a pink skully, who I kept catching pace with. We never spoke, but since he was keeping good time, I always kept him in my sights. I think he knew it, too, because he would stop running and walk whenever I caught up with him, and then run back up to catch up with me. After everything was said and done, and we were at the awards ceremony waiting, he walked past and waved goodbye to me.

There’s also the woman who rolled up to me and said, “You know, I can’t stand you tall women. My sister’s tall as you and I can’t stand her either.” I told her, “You better love us, or we’ll just use you as our personal arm rests.” And we both laughed about it… until another woman came up to me talking about my height, at which point I felt like I was wearing a “Come pick with me about my height!” sign on the back of my shirt.

And, of course, there’s the sign that was about .3 of a mile away from the finish line, that said “GO, RANDOM STRANGER, GO!” which is why the pictures of me from the final mile all look like I was seriously hoofing it. Nothing better than encouragement from thoughtful people who are kind enough to consider the “random stranger” as well as their friend. (Also: I may even consider holding up my own “Go, random stranger, go!” sign at the NYC Marathon coming up. Hmmm…)

Alright, y’all… what’d I leave out?

5)

Friday 5: 5 Simple Tips For Running Your Best Race is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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Just as you were starting to feel virtuous for having switched from sugary sodas to low- or no-calorie substitutes, a new study comes along suggesting that diet sodas might be bad for your head and your heart.

The study, which followed more than 2,500 New Yorkers for nine or more years, found that people who drank diet soda every day had a 61 percent higher risk of vascular events, including stroke and heart attack, than those who completely eschewed the diet drinks, according to researchers who presented their results today at the American Stroke Association’s International Stroke Conference in Los Angeles.

Still, the researchers aren’t ready to tell consumers to skip diet sodas. More studies need to be done before that happens, said the report’s lead author Hannah Gardener, an epidemiologist at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine.

“I think diet soda drinkers need to stay tuned,” Gardener said. “I don’t think that anyone should be changing their behaviors based on one study. Hopefully this will motivate other researchers to do more studies.”

That advice may not stop some from skipping their diet drinks. “This is pretty scary,” said Denise Gainey, a 49-year-old administrative assistant from Amelia, Va. Worried that she might have inherited a higher risk of heart disease, Gainey wants to be careful. “I guess I’ll just be drinking a lot more water,” she said.

For the new study, researchers surveyed 2,564 north Manhattan residents about their eating behaviors, exercise habits, as well as cigarette and alcohol consumption. The study volunteers were also given physical check-ups that included blood pressure measurements and blood tests for cholesterol and other factors that might affect the risk for heart attack and stroke.

The increased likelihood of vascular events remained even after Gardener and her colleagues accounted for risk factors, such as smoking, high blood pressure and high cholesterol levels. Pointing the finger more squarely at diet drinks, the researchers found no increased risk among people who drank regular soda.

Does this mean there’s something in diet sodas that hurts our blood vessels? Nobody knows the answer to that question, yet, Gardener said. There could be something else that people who drink diet sodas have in common, she explained.

For example, it’s possible that people who drink diet sodas are replacing those saved sugar calories with other unhealthy choices, Gardener said.

That explanation makes a lot of sense to Dr. Nehal N. Mehta, director of inflammatory risk cardiology at the University of Pennsylvania. Although the researchers know the total calories study volunteers were consuming, they weren’t able to account for unhealthy eating habits, Mehta said.

“Maybe along with the diet soda, people are grabbing a Big Mac and a large fries,” Mehta said. “Soda may not be the villain. It may be the other things people consume in association with diet soda. After all, what goes better with pizza or fries than a soda?”

That said, it is always possible that there is something about diet soda that leads to vascular problems, Mehta said, adding that this is the second study to associate diet soda with health issues. An earlier study found that diet soda consumption was linked to an increased risk of metabolic syndrome, which is also a risk factor for heart problems and stroke.

Caramel coloring linked to vascular issues

Further, Mehta said, there are animal studies suggesting a link between vascular problems and caramel-containing products. Among other things, caramel is the ingredient that gives the dark color to sodas like Coke and Pepsi, he explained.

Despite all of that, you probably don’t want to give up diet soda until — and if — larger studies confirm the results of this one, Mehta said.

That is, unless you’re someone with a lot of risk factors for stroke or heart disease, said Dr. Tudor Jovin, an associate professor of neurology and medicine and director of the Stroke Institute at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.

“People with a lot of risk factors for vascular disease, might want to reduce the amount of diet soda they consume,” Jovin said. “Those risk factors would include high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, smoking, a family history of cardiovascular disease, metabolic syndrome and a history of cardiovascular events.”

So, in other words… this edible substance, completely devoid of any nutritional benefit… not only cannot provide you with any nourishment or improve your health, but actually may have the ability to cause you harm by way of those heinous chemicals listed in the ingredients?

We knew this already, right?

But what’s so bizarre to me, really, is the fact that nooooooooooooooobody in the video wanted to just come out and say it: leave the damn chemicals alone!

I’ll be writing my thoughts on this up a little later… but for now, what are yours?

Diet Drinks Bad For Your Heart? is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2013. | Permalink | 15 Comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: diet coke, diet drinks, diet pepsi, diet soda, pop, soda, sodapop, soft drinks

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Any questions? Any thoughts? Want insight? Let’s discuss below!

Q&A Wednesday: How Do I Work Out While I’m Injured? is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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Q: Hey Erika, I often wondered about becoming a vegetarian. In college I tried it but I still consumed dairy products. Anyway to make things short I’m actually thinking of trying the PETA 30-day challenge. Just wondering if you know of Black vegetarians?

A: Not only do they exist, but they write books about being Black vegetarians (or, in this case, vegans.)

I have long stretches of time where I desire absolutely no meat or dairy, and spend my days eating like a vegan. I have stretches of time where I spend my days eating like a raw vegan, where I don’t cook diddly squat. I just.. don’t want meat in my system. And, because protein (the primary thing most people whine about when it comes to vegetarians and vegans) is plentiful outside of animal by-product (regardless of what anyone else may tell you), I do just fine. (I also have random days where I require – yes, require – buffalo wings, and hell hath rain down upon he who denies me them.)

The choice to become vegetarian is a personal one and while we could talk about the pleasures of a vegetable-based diet, the benefits of having a diet that’s infused with veggies in place of meats and (not to mention) the animal rights aspect, I’m personally not going to do so. I don’t think that’s something that should be sold to you by a person with an agenda, and I don’t think it should be anyone’s task to sell you on something you need conviction to pursue. What I do think, however, is that you should do a lot of researching regarding how to make a meat-light or meat-free lifestyle one that works for you.

I also think that it should be noted that it is okay to eat meals that don’t include meat. I’m not sure where this “if there’s no meat, then its not a meal” mentality came from, but there are plenty of damned good meals out there that don’t include meat and will leave you feeling beyond satisfied. The meatless/meat-free lifestyle, when pursued with intent and effort, can be just as satisfying as any other, and it is backed by the fact that you not only know your stuff but you are fully comfortable with your decision… not just doing it to lose weight only to go back to eating meat once you’ve gotten the body you wanted. The more I read about my ancestors and their eating habits, the more I realize that, no, every meal didn’t have to have meat… partially because they couldn’t afford it back then but also because it was unnecessarily excessive. Meat at every meal nowadays is simply another form of excess we participate in in this country, and it should be made clear that we don’t have to eat like that.

I don’t say these things to frighten you or scare you off of vegetarianism, but I do say them so that anyone who wants to dabble in veggie-based lifestyles can make a choice that they’re comfortable living with. I shared my story of giving up red meat (for no other reason than that I simply didn’t want to eat it anymore) as a teen, and while it’s all jokes now, it was definitely war back then. Not just with my Mom, but with myself. It’s hard going against what you’ve always known – be it a meat-heavy lifestyle or a lifestyle that contributed to weight gain – but you absolutely can make it happen with intent and effort.

If you decide to do the PETA 30-Day Vegan Challenge, be sure to check out Bryant Terry’s Vegan Soul, which is a pretty dope cookbook. This way, if you get stuck, you’ll have a stash of flavorful recipes on hand to try. Best of luck to you in your endeavors, and remember that there’s tons of resources out there (and here!) if you need ‘em.

Let her know, y’all – are you a Black vegetarian, vegan, pescetarian, pollotarian, non-omnivorous something, anything? If so, why? How’d you make the change? How has it affected you?

Q&A Wednesday: Do Black Vegetarians Exist? is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2013. | Permalink | 41 Comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: blackness, culture, vegan, vegans, vegetarian, vegetarians

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I think I’ve shared my grievances with the “childhood obesity” talk before, but I’ll say it again. It isn’t only the “fat kids” that need to learn how to eat well. ALL children need to learn. Why? How many of us were skinny children who became overweight adults with no clue how to revert back?

I also think it’s unnecessarily damning to highlight certain kids as being “a problem” or “the problem.” Teach the kids to strive to eat right and be active, and the lessons will carry with them all throughout their lives. Don’t worry about the non-obese children losing weight. Kids who don’t eat processed foods know how to compensate – their bodies demand more energy (be it fat or food) as their activity levels increase, and require less as their activity levels decrease (the same can be said for adults.) All children can eat proper meals – with portion sizes appropriate for their activity levels – and develop adequate weights, be it to gain a few or lose a few.

I just… every time I hear or read about “OMG CHILDHOOD OBESITY” I picture some parent heaping food on the plate of their thinner child, and plopping a rice cake down onto the plate for the larger child. It’s a cringeworthy picture. Trust me.

And before y’all hit me with the “tough love” comments, think about what you’d want someone to say to you or how you’d want someone to treat you in regards to your weight. Think about how much tough love you’ve received thus far, and whether or not that “tough love” has successfully made you lose weight and keep it off… and then think about whether or not treating you like a human being with a brain, thoughts and feelings could work, as well.

“Only 2 states in the union require schools to make fruits and vegetables available whenever food is offered.”

I just… I can’t. And we wonder why “CHILDHOOD OBESITY IS SUCH A BIG DEAL!” Not only are you not teaching the kids, but you’re reinforcing the NON-TEACHING with lack of resources, as evidenced by…

“Only 3 out of 10 high schoolers report eating a vegetable every day.”

Jeez.

“Less than 25% of students take a gym class.”

Your gym teachers (and art teachers, and music teachers…), that is, if your school can still afford them, are too busy teaching your students in preparation for the next standardized test, but I digress…

Thoughts?

Infographic: “The Childhood Obesity Epidemic” is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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Post tags: childhood obesity, children, obesity, school lunch, teachers

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Some quotes to keep your ears peeled for:

“Don’t think there aren’t flavor scientists sitting in a lab trying to figure out how to make this burger addictive..”

“I don’t know if ‘satisfied’ is the word as much as ‘stuffed’…”

“I’ll eat something that tastes really, really good, and then fifteen minutes later I’ll feel sluggish…”

Definitely food for thought, no pun intended.

Thoughts thus far?

Need to get caught up? Check out:

• How Junk Food Affects The Body, Part 1
• How Junk Food Affects The Body, Part 2
• How Junk Food Affects The Body, Part 3
• How Junk Food Affects The Body, Part 4
  

How Junk Food Affects The Body, Part 2 is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2013. | Permalink | 5 Comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: bad eating habits, documentary, Fast Food, how fast food affects the body, how junk food affects the body, junk food, unhealthy food

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Roast Chicken-Chipotle Nachos with Cilantro-Avocado Dip is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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Post tags: avocado, cheese, chicken, cilantro, cumin, lime juice, onion, oregano, tomato paste, tortillas

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[...] the new expert committee, commissioned by the Institute of Medicine at the behest of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said there was no rationale for anyone to aim for sodium levels below 2,300 milligrams a day. The group examined new evidence that had emerged since the last such report was issued, in 2005.

“As you go below the 2,300 mark, there is an absence of data in terms of benefit and there begin to be suggestions in subgroup populations about potential harms,” said Dr. Brian L. Strom, chairman of the committee and a professor of public health at the University of Pennsylvania. He explained that the possible harms included increased rates of heart attacks and an increased risk of death.

The committee was not asked to specify an optimal amount of sodium and did not make any recommendations about how much people should consume. Dr. Strom said people should not eat too much salt, but he also said that the data on the health effects of sodium were too inconsistent for the committee to say what the upper limit of sodium consumption should be.

Until about 2006, almost all studies on salt and health outcomes relied on the well-known fact that blood pressure can drop slightly when people eat less salt. From that, and from other studies linking blood pressure to risks of heart attacks and strokes, researchers created models showing how many lives could be saved if people ate less salt.

The United States dietary guidelines, based on the 2005 Institute of Medicine report, recommend that the general population aim for sodium levels of 1,500 to 2,300 milligrams a day because those levels will not raise blood pressure. The average sodium consumption in the United States, and around the world, is about 3,400 milligrams a day, according to the Institute of Medicine — an amount that has not changed in decades.

But more recently, researchers began looking at the actual consequences of various levels of salt consumption, as found in rates of heart attacks, strokes and death, not just blood pressure readings. Some of what they found was troubling.

One 2008 study the committee examined, for example, randomly assigned 232 Italian patients with aggressively treated moderate to severe congestive heart failure to consume either 2,760 or 1,840 milligrams of sodium a day, but otherwise to consume the same diet. Those consuming the lower level of sodium had more than three times the number of hospital readmissions — 30 as compared with 9 in the higher-salt group — and more than twice as many deaths — 15 as compared with 6 in the higher-salt group.

Another study, published in 2011, followed 28,800 subjects with high blood pressure ages 55 and older for 4.7 years and analyzed their sodium consumption by urinalysis. The researchers reported that the risks of heart attacks, strokes, congestive heart failure and death from heart disease increased significantly for those consuming more than 7,000 milligrams of sodium a day and for those consuming fewer than 3,000 milligrams of sodium a day.

There are physiological consequences of consuming little sodium, said Dr. Michael H. Alderman, a dietary sodium expert at Albert Einstein College of Medicine who was not a member of the committee. As sodium levels plunge, triglyceride levels increase, insulin resistance increases, and the activity of the sympathetic nervous system increases. Each of these factors can increase the risk of heart disease.

“Those are all bad things,” Dr. Alderman said. “A health effect can’t be predicted by looking at one physiological consequence. There has to be a net effect.” [source]

The articles goes on – and, if you haven’t read it by now, you really should – but there are a few points I want to make clear, here:

1) The last set of dietary guidelines included a upper-limit of 2,300 milligrams of sodium for generally healthy individuals, 1,500 milligrams for those with heart conditions. Those guidelines were published in 2010; one of these studies was published in 2008. If it was more advantageous to the food industry to push this study in favor of them being able to keep their sodium levels up without having to reformulate their recipes, then I’m pretty sure that food lobbyists saw to it that this study got in front of the right people. Right?

So, assuming that it did, why don’t the guidelines reflect as much? Either the study is flawed, or the organizations and governmental departments who backed these figures (and, apparently, doubled down on them in this article) would prefer to save face. (It’s not like there’s no precedence for that.)

2) Food research frustrates me because most research has considered all food as equal, regardless of source – processed food, fast food, produce, whatever. It doesn’t matter because a calorie is just a calorie. When I look at an article on a food study, and I see this:

“Until about 2006, almost all studies on salt and health outcomes relied on the well-known fact that blood pressure can drop slightly when people eat less salt.”

My assumption is automatically that they swapped out whatever processed food a person was eating – and that assumption comes squarely from the fact that most people are eating processed food – and are trading in something far fresher… and, if you’re demanding that people actually cook fresh food, instead? Whew, listen. Their insides might start doing the tootsie roll, they’re so happy.

What I’m getting at is that, in food, it’s difficult to ascertain exactly what is causing the problem and what, exactly, is creating the solution. There are so many variables – is it vitamins? is it minerals? is it the source of the food? is it the kind of vegetable? is it the color? is it something that happens when this vegetable is paired with this fruit? is it a certain macro-nutrient? is it an overabundance of a macro-nutrient? is it a macro-nutrient in the absence of exercise that’s doing it? – that I’d be curious as to how salt appeared on everyone’s radar as the constant in the first place, let alone how you’d test for all those other variables outside of salt, thereby eliminating salt as a contributing factor. And, I would’ve looked at that myself, if I wouldn’t have to spend my entire life’s savings to be able to subscribe to the health journals where this research hides.

3) Remember those dietary guidelines I mentioned earlier? You know, the ones that tell us what to eat, created by a sublet of the governmental agency whose intention is to protect and support the people who grow what we eat? Those guidelines are only up for review every five years. What happens in the interim, when new research comes out that challenges what the government pushes? Those guidelines also affect school nutrition, generic health advice given to people in inner-city environments who use government agencies for support, and practically any nutrition-related policy. Do we just… wait? The people most unlikely to be able to keep up with the Times – probably because they can’t afford it, hell, I can barely afford it! – are also the people most likely to need the information, and if they’re getting it from sources with outdated info because they use what the government hands down, then…

4) Speaking of the information that the government hands down, let’s acknowledge that this research was convened by a government agency against the agency’s earlier decisions. This is what makes funding science research so important – because government enacts policies that affect our everyday lives, and it needs to consistently check itself to ensure that it remains current. Without federal investment into research, the only people doing the work… are the people seeking to profit off of it; any research proving something disadvantageous to a corporation would never see the light of day, no matter how much it might need to be shared. We research, because knowledge equates to improvement, when you know better, you do better.

That being said, whenever you see news about government officials seeking to cut research funding, it should give you pause. Give ‘em an inch, and they take your entire 40 acres.

5) Lastly, my column for EBONY this week discusses what I think people should do with this information. Go check that out. (And check it out every week!) If you think this may be a green light to go back to those old processed foods, well… you might have another thing coming.

What do you think?

Recent Studies Challenge Anti-Salt Thinking is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2013. | Permalink | 1 Comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: heart attack, heart disease, salt, sodium

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Maple Glazed Carrots is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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Post tags: butter, carrots, maple syrup

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Until…

I just so happened to read Naked & Unashamed, and catch this quote at the end:

“People have to be comfortable in their own skin before they can be comfortable with someone else’s.”

Since this is a website about embracing oneself, being aware of one’s shortcomings and loving oneself enough to put in the effort to make ourselves better, I had to take a stab at it.

In all honesty, I’m beyond the video. I do enough analyzing all day… I’m not really moved by a music video, no matter how compelling it may be. I’m way more interested in the reactions to the video than I am the video itself.

Among one of my favorites, we have this:

“Typical…black women stripping nude in a video and debasing themselves. And you wonder why you are the least respected and sought after.”

Obviously, I don’t agree with that, but there’s a larger issue at play, here.

Sports Illustrated can have an entire magazine devoted to white women in swimsuits – suits, mind you, made of much less fabric than what Badu was wearing before the blurring began. SpikeTV can host some of the most misogynistic garbage I’ve ever seen (though, full disclosure, I do my fair share of laughing at it, too… What? They show CSI repeats.) Playboy has women showing their cookies, their cupcakes, their twinkies and their muffins. That’s just what they do. They model... They act – it’s a job… It’s Playboy – what do you expect?

A Black woman appears in a music video – saying nothing about whether or not she’s fully clothed – and she’s “just a video ho.” A Black woman poses in a bikini in a magazine, and it’s “She couldn’t wear more clothing than that?” A Black woman working on her flexibility must be doing it for sexual reasons. Don’t let her admit she takes a pole dancing fitness class.

Hell, Badu even tweeted the link to the video that inspired hers – a white male/female duo running Buck. E. Naked through Times Square, NYC. They’re just lovable, playful scamps running ’round an already sinful city, though. No big deal there. Erykah, however, is showcasing why no one loves Black women… by doing what the hell she wants to do in her music video.

There’s “debasing” going on, alright. It’s not self-imposed, though.

“People have to be comfortable in their own skin before they can be comfortable with someone else’s.”

Either we’re apologists for the sexuality of our non-Black counterparts, or we have set standards so high for Black women that exploring ourselves is no longer acceptable. We’re doomed to be one monolithic mass, regardless of our individuality… because someone we don’t know – someone who, essentially, doesn’t really give a damn about us – insists on trying to save us from ourselves. Since, y’know, we’re turning ourselves into whores. We’re always seeking to make a Black woman somebody’s Jezebel, in dire need of our “help.”

Not familiar with Jezebel?

The portrayal of Black women as lascivious by nature is an enduring stereotype. The descriptive words associated with this stereotype are singular in their focus: seductive, alluring, worldly, beguiling, tempting, and lewd. Historically, White women, as a category, were portrayed as models of self-respect, self-control, and modesty – even sexual purity, but Black women were often portrayed as innately promiscuous, even predatory. This depiction of Black women is signified by the name Jezebel.

There’s also this one, that I love:

Next, there is Jezebel, the bad-black-girl, who is depicted as alluring and seductive as she either indiscriminately mesmerizes men and lures them into her bed, or very deliberately lures into her snares those who have something of value to offer her.

I can’t help but wonder if our need to make a Black woman into a Jezebel comes from our failure to understand ourselves: what parts of us are sexual in nature, what is not; what should be seen as sexual, what should not; what should be considered hazardous, and what is harmless exploration – the kind from which lessons are learned.

Am I an advocate for sexual irresponsibility? No. Am I saying it’s ok to “be a slut?” If we share the same definition of “slut” (see: sexual irresponsibility), then I’ma go on and say “no.” Make no mistake, I don’t give passes for behavior that is not my own. However, I am a hippie at heart, and while I have my own standards for how I behave and interact with others in public, I can’t force those standards on others. I’ve never turned down the opportunity to offer up my opinion when asked for it, but making judgments and imposing those judgments on others as guidelines by which they must abide… are two different things entirely.

And while there are many who might not see – nor care about – what I’m saying here (and that’s okay), it’s worth pointing out – when we, as Black women, insist on reducing even the most innocent of our actions to Jezebelism, we perpetuate the notion that that’s all Black women are. That’s all you can expect of them. Being the Jezebel. Being the sirene.

Having said that, all I have from here are questions. Are so many of us so uncomfortable with the concept of sexuality – our own sexuality – that we can’t even identify when something is sexual or not? Has it stifled our intellectual understanding of sexuality? If we have “passes” to dole out, why are we not doling them out for ourselves? Do we often see inherently sexual messages in inherently non-sexual situations? Collectively, are we so repressed and limited in our self-comfort, that we can’t help but to project this repression onto others? Why care so much?

Must we make everything a Black woman does publicly be about her “whoring?” Or, are we really just projecting our own discomfort on other women who look like us? Like I said: from here, all I’ve got is questions. Well, questions… and this:

“People have to be comfortable in their own skin before they can be comfortable with someone else’s.”

On Badu and Our Bodies: Are We Comfortable In Our Own Skin? is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2013. | Permalink | 16 Comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: black women, blackness, celebrities, mentality, sex, sexuality

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“I bet you don’t eat bread. Do you?”

“Do you eat pasta?”

I’ve got five harrrrrd truths for you people who are struggling with the carb situation. Hopefully this’ll help.

1) I do not live a low-carb diet. When you talk about carbohydrates, you’re talking about fruit. You’re talking about vegetables. The key sources of our vitamins and minerals. You need those. And, yes, you’re talking about breads, pastas, biscuits, cupcakes, cookies… the whole nine yards. When most people talk about living “low-carb,” they’re often referring to cutting refined carbs, most commonly understood as “things made with flour.” I do, however, cut those things.

2) Why? Because, when you start counting calories and start understanding where your calorie totals for your day are going haywire, you wind up realizing that most of those calories? Come straight from refined carbohydrates. Refined carbs are, more often than not, an unnecessary caloric black hole. That big giant roll of bread on your lunch sandwich? Probably could’ve swapped that out for a salad – don’t most sandwich toppings often wind up sounding like delicious salads, anyway? – or could’ve been rolled in a nice strong leaf. That big giant bowl of cereal? Yeah, one serving size might say “80 calories,” but you didn’t realize that that “one serving size” is for “one half cup of cereal” and that you actually ate four servings this morning. That massive serving of rice in your kung pao chicken you ate? If it was over a cup of it, it was well over 300 calories that you didn’t need… because you could’ve easily tossed some steamed broccoli in there with that, instead, and been much more satiated with less calories and more food.

3) Quality matters, and can determine the difference between a filling carb and a not-so-filling one. And, while it’s ideal for one to seek out organic, local, sustainable, hand-crafted goods… that’s not what I’m talking about, here. A quality bread is little more than flour, yeast, salt, water and some oil. That’s it. Not… um… all this stuff, here. Quality flour, believe it or not, has protein in it. Oil, pure fat, helps fill you up. Yeast has a sweet flavor that it can yield to dough. A quality piece of bread is awesome. It can be filling. And, if it isn’t filling for you, then you shouldn’t be eating it.

4) If a carb isn’t filling in an adequate portion size – and only you can determine what’s “adequate” for you and your needs – then guess what? It’s time to let that high-carb food go. A good pasta will fill you up long before you could fall asleep from eating it, but if you’re not getting that good quality pasta, it’s okay to turn down the lessor quality. A good cupcake… you might not even get to finish it. Don’t scarf down a bunch of cheap ones looking for the same feeling. You won’t get it. A bowl of store-bought cereal? People are going through two-to-three boxes a week. It’s never going to fill you up, and you’re overdoing it on the calorie totals because you’re so busy trying to eat to get “full.” Let that go. Not happening. Find another option.

5) Refined carbs are the reason why, when most people tell me they “had a craving” for something… I usually give them the side-eye-of-eternity. If you’re craving nails (like, hammering nails) or cornstarch, then I’m willing to believe it’s a nutritional deficiency. Cravings for cookies, cupcakes, ice cream (the store-brands have so much sugar in them that yes, I’m counting them too), chips and goodness knows whatever else are not cravings. They’re emotional eating… harmful reactions to stressors in or lives. Refined carbs just happen to be the most common vessel for emotional eating, and if you find yourself taking in refined carbs in obscene amounts, then consider scaling back. As in, no longer buying products that make you feel like you can’t only “eat just one.”

I’ve even got a bonus one for you: if you’re a runner, you often don’t worry about this. You need every darn calorie you can get your mouth around!

Who’s got carb questions for me? Let’s hear ‘em!

Friday 5: Five Hard Truths About Carbs is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2013. | Permalink | 27 Comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: carbohydrates, carbs, low-carb, low-carb diets

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