And while my problem was easy to spot (big difference from “simple to solve,” though), many are not. Many of our issues are far more complex and ignoring them or wishing them away won’t change the effects those problems have on our day to day lives. If I, as a sexual assault victim, were to simply ignore the fears or nightmares or issues that my attack left me with… then ignoring the attack or “wishing” to go on with my life as if it never happened would not change the fact that I still have fears of men, nightmares of being assaulted again or issues with intimacy. You cannot ignore life-changing events.

The bottom line, here, is that I’m left with questions that I am wholly unable to answer. It was by sheer luck that that therapist friend happened to be there and happened to be willing to listen to me pour out my problems (for free! and y’all know I love free!) and give me what I need. I’m clueless as to how to choose a therapist, but considering how awesome my readership is, I know y’all can help.

What tips do you have for how to choose a therapist? What stories do you have for success with your therapist? Do you have any horror stories that you learned a valuable lesson from in how to choose a therapist? Please share with the class.

And if any of you have a therapist in New York City that specializes in eating disorders in African-American women, do be so kind to e-mail me that info at erika@blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com.

Open Thread: Do You Have Tips On How To Choose And Find A Therapist? is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 16 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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1. Defy convention Do the healthy thing, even when it’s challenging, inconvenient or considered weird. Take pride in that.
2. Buck trends Just because it’s popular doesn’t mean it’s smart or good for you. Enlist fellow trend buckers and create a trend of your own.
3. Rage against the machine Use your healthy frustration about the unhealthy status quo to spark creativity and determination.
4. Celebrate what’s good Look for signs of progress (beyond pounds lost) and rejoice when you find them. Give yourself a pat on the back every time you make your health a priority.
5. Repossess your health Reclaim responsibility for your well-being; own your daily choices; minimize your reliance on the broken sick-care system.
6. Redefine your role You are not a “healthcare consumer.” You are a human being. You may be experiencing an illness or other health challenge right now, but remember that good health is your body’s natural state.
7. Practice medicine without a license Research your own conditions and treatment alternatives, ask questions, and seek second opinions with impunity. Leverage the expertise of trained pros, but don’t allow it to eclipse your own informed instincts about what’s best for you.
8. Minimize symptom suppression Make whole-person vitality, well-being and resilience your goal. Partner with healthcare pros who understand and support your desire to be fully healthy with a minimum of medical intervention.
9. Safeguard your juju Don’t let yourself get run down, depressed, negative or reactive. That’s when immunity drops, inflammation rages, and unhealthy tendencies strike.
10. See the bigger picture Yes, this is about you, but your well-being also affects everyone and everything around you. When you get healthier, everybody benefits.
11. Be part of the solution It’s going to take a lot of strong, clear-headed, high-vitality people to solve the world’s problems. Be one of them.
12. Go at your own pace A healthy life is more a marathon than a sprint. So start where you are. Choose sensible, sustainable shifts over instant cures and quick fixes.
13. Be proactiveIf you feel a cold, flu or nasty headache coming on, take evasive maneuvers. Rest. Refuel. Reconnect. Rebuild your immunity and vitality. There’s no heroism in ignoring your body’s needs.
14. Leverage your big “whys” Know the specific reasons your health matters to you. Write them down where you’ll see them daily.
15. Raise your sights Don’t get sucked in by obsessions with six-pack abs and buns of steel. Don’t play “compare the bodies.” Fulfill your best-self vision.
16. Learn the skills Healthy, fit people have learned how to be healthy. Learn those skills, practice them, and you’ll be healthy, too.
17. Reap the rewards Look and feel better, sure. But also think better, smell better, give better, love better, live better, be better.
18. Focus on the fundamentals Drink water, eat good food, move, rest, relax, connect. Don’t sweat the more complex stuff until you’ve got a grip on the basics.
19. Fake it till you make it Don’t yet see yourself as a super-healthy person? Experiment with doing a little of what you’d do if you were already supremely healthy and fit. As often as you can, act as if your commitment were unwavering.
20. Aim for 85% You don’t have to make 100% healthy choices all the time. It’s what you do most of the time — day in, day out — that counts. The healthier you get, the easier and more automatic healthy choices will become.
21. Keep your body clean, inside and out Toxins, poisons and other gunk have no place in the temple. Avoid artificial flavors, preservatives, colors, fragrances, petrochemicals and other toxic ingredients whenever possible.
22. Brush and floss Your teeth and gums are a huge determining factor in your whole-body well-being. They’re also an easy place to start demonstrating your commitment to whole-person health on a daily basis.
23. Eat fresh Trade dead, packaged goods for foods that are fresh, alive and full of high-vibe goodness. Figure out where to find them, learn to juice/slice/dice them, and eat them with great pleasure.
24. Eat more plants There’s a long list of phytonutrients and other good stuff in vegetables, fruits and legumes that you can’t get any other way. Put plants at the center of your plate for as many meals and snacks as you can.
25. Don’t fall for fakery Processed, fake, diet and imitation ingredients burden and inflame your body, contributing to chronic disease. And there’s no clinical proof that artificial sweeteners and fat-free products support weight loss or do any part of you any good.
26. Learn to cook Get a dozen healthy, whole-food recipes under your belt, and your life will be forever changed. Start by mastering one.
27. Have breakfast Let there be protein, produce, healthy fats and fiber in it. A good breakfast wards off energy dips, brain fog and afternoon cravings.
28. Watch your reactions 40% of U.S. adults have an intolerance to gluten; 70% to dairy. Know if you’re one of them. Digestive, skin, joint, energy and mood problems may be your first clue.
29. Beware the USDA Food Pyramid It is a whole lot healthier for Big Ag and Big Business than for humans. Fill two-thirds of your plate with an array of vegetables, add in some other whole foods you enjoy, and don’t let the rest of the Pyramid’s propaganda confuse you.
30. Approach ADA guidelines with a healthy dose of doubt The American Dietetic Association is sponsored by processed-food corporations and staffed by former food-company execs. Their pro-processed-food advice is often colored by that, and their calorie-counting obsessions are profoundly counterproductive.
31. Go easy on the sugar and flour These two ingredients (combined with unhealthy industrial vegetable oils) have a starring role in most packaged foods we eat. More than any other culprit, they fuel inflammation, obesity, diabetes, high cholesterol and cancer.
32. Savor what you eat The foods you rush into your body tend to create more problems than they solve. Take your time and consciously enjoy every single bite. Notice as your hunger diminishes.
33. Care where food comes from Know your food’s history, and you’ll want to consume more selectively. Most factory-farmed and industrially produced foods aren’t all that appetizing once you know their origins.
34. Go for quality, not quantity An ounce of wonderful is far better than a whole mess of mediocrity. Most beige, starchy and supersized foods are not worth eating.
35. Move it out A healthy person poops every day. Twice a day, maybe more. How’s your fiber and water intake? (Also, see #28.) A clogged up colon wreaks havoc on your whole body.
36. Read labels Don’t worry so much about the calories, grams and RDAs. Read the ingredients. Most ingredient lists begin with some combination of enriched wheat flour, sugar and oil. Avoid foods like that. Also avoid foods with long lists of ingredients you don’t recognize.
37. Ignore labels Most of the marketing claims are meaningless, and a lot of the data is confusing. Most of the very best foods (in the produce department) have precisely one ingredient and, often, no labels at all.
38. Say no to soda Both regular and diet soft drinks stimulate a pro-inflammatory insulin response, trigger cravings, acidify the body, decay your teeth and leach minerals out of your bones.
39. Ask for what you want If you want extra this, none of that, something on the side, X in place of Y, broiled instead of fried, and everything prepared just so — say so. Being picky about what you put in your body is nothing to be ashamed of. Picky eaters unite!
40. Drink a lot of water The health of every cell and synapse depends on it. And when you’re dehydrated on a regular basis —Êeven a little — your metabolism, energy and immunity all suffer mightily.
41. Filter your water You’ll drink more when it tastes pure and you know it’s clean. If plain water doesn’t turn your crank, enjoy water with a slice of lemon, orange, cucumber, or a splash of juice. Or try herbal tea instead.
42. Love what you’ve got Treat your body with respect and appreciation. Focus on what it can do, not what it can’t. Find something to celebrate, not something to criticize.
43. Redefine your goals If you’ve been trying to lose weight and struggling, make it your goal to get superbly healthy and fit instead. And then don’t be surprised when the excess weight starts melting off.
44. Beware artificial hungers Notice what triggers your sudden desires and uncontrollable appetites. Stress and anxiety both masquerade as hunger. Find better ways of dealing with them or warding them off.
45. Identify real hungers You can’t eat or spend your way out of loneliness, fear, boredom or lack of meaning. Find healthy ways to honor and shift them, instead.
46. Be human Cut yourself a little slack now and then, and forgive yourself your unhealthy trespasses. Learn what you can from them, and then move on.
47. Make being healthy easier Self-restraint is a limited resource. Do everything in your power to make healthy choices automatic choices and to keep unhealthy temptations out of range.
48. Don’t believe the hype Give up on gimmicks, fads and instant fixes. Most miraculous weight-loss schemes do more harm than good, and yo-yo dieting is a recipe for weight gain.
49. Look beyond unrealistic role models Find your inspiration in people whose lives and goals have some relevance to your own. Also remember that most of the pictures you see of celebrities and fitness models have been extensively retouched.
50. Question authority Big organizations like the FDA, USDA, AHA, AMA and ADA all struggle under real limitations and conflicts of interest. Know and understand them.
51. Face the facts Your body is a mirror: It reflects your choices, your priorities, your habits, your attitudes and your quality of life. If you don’t like your body, be willing to change the way you are living.
52. Maintain a morning practice Take a few minutes each sunup to set your intentions, take a few breaths, read an inspiring passage and start the day on your own terms. You may be shocked at the difference it makes.
53. Move your body Every day, every which-way you can, in as many ways as you enjoy. Movement nourishes your body, clears toxins, and reduces the inflammation that breeds illness and irritation.
54. Reframe exercise as a privilege You don’t have to exercise. You get to exercise. Visit a person whose mobility is severely limited, and you’ll appreciate the distinction. Do what you can, and count yourself lucky.
55. Break a sweat The more often, the better. Sweat is a signal that your metabolism is switching into a higher gear. Sweat is weakness, complacency and toxicity leaving the body.
56. Stay strong More muscle and sinew means more capacity to do anything. Don’t let age, aches and pains, or lack of time be your excuses for abandoning your strength.
57. Maximize your mitochondria Every time you exercise, you upgrade your body’s energy-and-vitality factories and build your metabolism.
58. Find your fitness edge Flirt with it in ways that feel good and exhilarating. Bursts of high-intensity exercise trigger positive, dramatic changes and help catalyze the body’s healing response.
59. Get past body envy Release supermodel and celebrity obsessions. Translate your desire for a fitter, more beautiful body into positive, self-respecting daily action that nourishes you and makes you stronger.
60. Embrace meditation There are few life skills that will pay of as handsomely or give you as much peace and healthy perspective. Even a few minutes of meditation a day can trigger positive transformations in your biochemistry, neurology — even your DNA.
61. Study your systems Learn how your body works, and respect its genius. The unfortunate fact that most of us aren’t formally educated in how to properly care for our bodies doesn’t mean you can’t learn.
62. Get to the bottom of your symptoms Body trouble? Find the source. Root out the cause. Don’t settle for a drug that forces your symptoms to go underground only to pop up somewhere else with a vengeance.
63. Self-medicate with caution Get honest about how you’re using alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, pain killers and other drugs to simulate well-being or cover discomfort.
64. Abandon victim thinking “Poor me” doesn’t get you anywhere you want to go. Instead, dust yourself off, see the choices that got you here, then reclaim your prerogative to choose your own better way forward.
65. Sleep well Rest = recovery, repair and resilience. Exhaustion = illness and messed-up metabolism. Prioritize ample sleep time as the health essential it is.
66. Breathe deep In for four, out for five. Oxygen’s good; breathing keeps you alive.
67. Get off your butt Sitting for more than an hour or so at a stretch is deadly. Get up, stretch, walk around. Do some deep knee bends or go climb a couple flights of stairs.
68. Slow down Perennial rushing is toxic to the body and mind. Find moments of silence and contemplation where you can just be. Create margins of sanity. Practice the defensive art of scheduling breaks and vacations.
69. Connect with community Find ways of being active and involved in some kind of group activity. Joining a group, if you haven’t already, can reduce your risk of dying this year by half.
70. Heal your relationships Mend fences, build bridges, forgive trespasses, grieve losses and let toxic grudges go. Then move on. Get help with this if you need to.
71. Get outside You need sunshine, fresh air and time in nature. Daily. Grab five minutes in the morning, five on the way home from work.
72. Respect your environment Keep in mind that human health depends upon the health of a lot of interconnected ecosystems and the planet as a whole. Make choices that respect that reality.
73. Embrace play Fun, novelty, humor and joy are key sources of energy, strength and inspiration. If you’re suffering from a case of fun-deficit disorder, remedy that situation ASAP.
74. Consume media wisely Seek out entertainment and information that makes your life better. Choose not to watch, read or listen to stuff that demoralizes or immobilizes you, incites craziness, or insults your intelligence.
75. Be your own biggest fan Refuse to bad-talk your body, nitpick your appearance or kvetch about your weight. Find something to dig/love/ appreciate about yourself — just the way you are.
76. Turn off the TV Opiate of the masses. Fritterer of time. Fryer of focus. The average American watches several hours of TV a day. How much of your life are you willing to hand over to a box?
77. Eliminate tolerations If something’s driving you crazy, deal with it. Noticing and resolving daily annoyances, messes and downers helps free up energy and increases your pleasure in living.
78. Follow the money Look at your checkbook register and credit-card statements for clues about where your spending is inconsistent with your healthy goals and values.
79. Redirect your resources Take some of the money you’re spending on unhealthy distraction, consolations and indulgences, and re-route it toward your healthy-living priorities instead.
80. Ditch debt The stress of being stretched too thin financially is at the root of a great many health ills. Develop the skills you need to master your money and live within your means.
81. Invest in your health Money spent proactively on your health delivers far better returns than money spent reactively on treating illness and disease. When healthy choices seem “too expensive,” consider the long-term costs of health-sapping alternatives.
82. Wise up Keep seeking new wisdom and mastering new skills that help you take better care of your body and live a more satisfying life. Continual learning and discovery support both health and happiness.
83. Build on your successes Look at what has worked well for you in the past, and do more of that. Identify and leverage your strengths. Be willing to learn from your “failures,” too — but refuse to wallow in them.
84. Surprise yourself Don’t be boring. Every once in a while, do something unexpected or out of character and see what happens.
85. Find your tribe Surround yourself with other healthy, positive, active people who share your passions. It’s a lot easier to thrive around people who are thriving.
86. Laugh it up Seek out mirth, glee and merriment at every opportunity. Laughter triggers a cascade of healing, energizing chemicals.
87. Get a buddy Do your healthy thing with a pal or partner. Camaraderie and accountability go a long way toward creating success.
88. Give your best gifts Developing and sharing them endows you with enthusiasm and energy. Neglecting or squandering them slowly kills you.
89. Pace yourself When working hard, take brief rest breaks every 90 to 120 minutes so your cells can recharge. Be kind to yourself, and be honest about how much you can take on at any given time.
90. Vote your values Take your healthy convictions to the polls. Share them with your elected representatives. Vote with your dollars, too, to support healthy products, companies and communities.
91. Visualize the possibilities What if we lived in a world where the majority of people were healthy and happy most of the time? Imagine that future — then start creating it in your own life, one step at a time.
92. Follow your bliss The more positivity and enthusiasm you can build into your life, the healthier, happier and more satisfied you’ll be. Happiness breeds healthiness.
93. Be responsible for yourself Own your decisions and actions, no matter what the circumstances. Refuse to abuse or be abused on any level. See challenges and setbacks as learning opportunities.
94. Take the high road If you feel yourself getting dragged down or losing traction in your healthy commitments, ask: What’s my highest choice right now? What can I do to make this situation better?
95. Make time The hour you give yourself for self-care pays you back three. Think you’re too busy? The busier you are, the more effective and energetic you need to be, and the less time you have to get sick.
96. Make space Declutter your house, your office, your car, your desk, your mind. Create room for your chosen future; create space that reflects the way you want to feel.
97. Focus on action, not outcomes Live the life of a healthy person, and the results will take care of themselves. Every healthy step is a victory. Every day is an opportunity to feel, live and be better than the day before.
98. Make it a party Discover new healthy passions. Revel in new healthy pleasures. Have so much fun getting and being healthy that everyone around you wants to do it, too!
99. Let go of excuses Yes, you’re busy. You probably have a lot of priorities competing for your time, energy and resources. But wouldn’t all those priorities be better served by a healthier, more dynamic you?
100. Show up No one is going to do this for you. You can’t fake it, and you can’t phone it in. Your body is where you’re going to spend the rest of your life. So make it a great place to live.
101. Pass it on Pssst! Being healthy is a revolutionary act. The more of us who stand up for our health and happiness, the more power we have to change the world — one person, one life, one revolutionary act at a time.

Which ones stand out the most to you?

101 Revolutionary Ways To Be Healthy is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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2. Three Great Ways To Exercise At Home
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Post tags: mentality

This year, they’re going to lose weight.

That’s right – they’re going to hit the gym seven days a week. They’re going to turn vegetarian (or vegan) and eat better. They’re going to lick this thing.

And it usually lasts, what? Two months tops? Three if they’re lucky?

The reality is this – some people like start dates. Nothing is wrong with using the start of a new year to signify the start of a major change in one’s life. However, we can’t treat those changes the same way we treat the holiday – once the novelty of the day wears off, so does the resolutions. We can’t do that to ourselves.

What we also cannot do is spend a short amount of time going hard in the gym, or wildin’ out on a crazy diet hoping to get rid of that last little bit of weight. We can’t adopt something only to quit in a few months because we’ve burned out, or because we made changes that were too drastic and were unbearable.

You have to realize that there’s something in your lifestyle that allows that weight to stay on. The issue isn’t the fact that you need to burn off this little bit of weight super fast – the issue is that you need to take a long, hard look at your lifestyle and start making changes that will lead you in the direction of not only achieving your goals, but maintaining them. Make sense?

So instead of making a resolution that involves a gym membership that you’ll only use for ten weeks, what kind of resolutions are much healthier?

Ones that can last. Baby steps. Resolve to hit the gym at least three times a week, if you’re opting to make use of a membership. If not, resolve to go walking for a half an hour a day. Resolve to avoid junk food one day a week. Gradually move up to 2 days, then 3, then allow yourself only a couple of days a week when you eat fast food or junk food. I promise you – you’ll feel so good after accomplishing those simple tasks that they will not only become a part of your regular routine, but natural progression on it’s own will lead you to increasing your own intensity.

Resolve to think before you put food in your mouth. Resolve to drink an extra glass or two of water each day. Resolve to eat breakfast every morning. Promise to get a healthy night’s rest. Try to take the kids to the park at least once a week, and while they’re playing? Walk laps around the playground (this one is mine!) Don’t just burn yourself out in the gym. Don’t just jump on the grapefruit diet. Definitely don’t expect a quick fix to change what a lifetime created.

Approach the new year with a positive attitude. Trust in the fact that this is the year you will treat the one body you have for a lifetime… as if it is, in fact, the one body that you will have for a lifetime. You want it to be (and look) healthy forever, so take the time to develop habits that you can maintain forever!

Making Foolproof Weight Loss Resolutions For The New Year is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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2. Stop Defeating Your Weight Loss Efforts Before You Begin
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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 6 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: mentality

Why do I believe that? Because weight loss is complex, overwhelming, and difficult. It’s hard to dive in head first if you don’t necessarily know what’s happening or why it’s happening to you. There’s no shame in that, when there are industries who put forth lots of money to keep you confused. We all know that money outweighs and outdoes everything nowadays. This is no different.

I am an advocate of putting one foot in front of the other… in the direction in which you want to go. As long as you do that, you will always be moving toward your goals.

“Okay, it’s easy to talk the talk, but do you have any suggestions on how to actually do it?”

I hear you thinking it. Of course I do!

First, accept that failure is a part of your growth. Remember that you’re changing a lifetime of bad habits. You’re adding things to your daily routine that will change your life. It doesn’t happen overnight, and you WILL fall down. Even after well over a year at it, I STILL occasionally fall down. I don’t give up, I don’t tell myself that I can’t do it, and I certainly don’t retreat into food – the thing that got me to obesity in the first place – when I feel bad about falling short.

What I do try to do is remind myself of my goals, take a hard look at why I fell short, and try my best to address that “why.” For example. If I promised myself no cakes or candies, and I have a slice of cake at a restaurant, the question becomes, “If I promised that I wouldn’t, why did I do it anyway?” If the answer becomes, “I just couldn’t resist that picture of that cake staring at me throughout dinner!” then I have to rationalize with myself a way to avoid the temptation. For those of you wondering, yes, this was a real issue for me. How did I overcome? I stopped going out to restaurants until I could build up the ability to overlook the pictures, and learn how to say no quickly, and mean it.

Next, accept that you have to make some hard decisions. Not hitting the restaurants? That’s a HARD decision! Please believe I love my On The Border taco salad (1,700 calories, 124g fat, 2,620mg sodium), my Cheesecake Factory Vanilla Bean Cheesecake (870cals, 558cals from fat, 62g fat), and, well… some other stuff we don’t have to talk about here. However, my decision not only saved me money, but saved myself calories, as well. Hard decision accepted, reward gained.

Thirdly, resolve within yourself that the follow-through won’t be easy. If you can’t stop going to McDonalds after work; and you realize that it’s because since you take the shortest route home, you can’t help but stop in to help you suffer through traffic… what options do you have? Better yet, what options do you allow yourself? Sure, you can buy healthy snacks and keep them in the car, but what if that doesn’t work? Are you willing to take the extra 5 minutes in your ride to avoid the McDonalds? Can you do that for yourself, even though it’s hard? It might not be easy to see in the beginning, but you’re teaching yourself a plethora of lessons with that one action:

1. It’s ok to make difficult decisions for ME.
2. It’s ok to suffer for my own greater good.
3. It’s ok to push myself, because I am changing ME for the better.
4. It’s ok to take the harder route, because I will be stronger in the end because of it.
5. I am able to do this.

Remember that every challenge is an opportunity to learn and grow, no matter how successful the endeavor is or is not. As long as you take something away from the situation, it was not in vain. As long as you take away something from the situation and grow from it, you are putting one foot in front of the other. As long as you’ve learned one more way to get closer to your goal of a healthier lifestyle, you’re well on your way.

Be happy, be healthy!

One Foot In Front Of The Other: Mentally Preparing For Weight Loss is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. Self-Compassion: A Key Factor In Weight Loss
2. How Much Is The Weight Loss Industry Worth?
3. A Very Big Piece of My Weight Loss Story

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 22 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: mentality, overeating, weight loss

But every now and again, I read something that makes me want to toss my head against my desk – not too hard, but hard enough – because they’re either mistakes I’ve made before… or mistakes I make now (and realize it while reading someone else’s words)… or mistakes I haven’t made and probably would’ve made in the future if I weren’t thinking consciously.

So.. having said that… consider this my collective screaming, shouting, and fussing from a year’s worth of e-mails and comments where y’all just know you are wrong. You know you are. Hopefully you’ll giggle with me a little, and come on out of the woodwork admitting how you know you’re wrong.

1) You put off an activity today, for whatever reason, because you can “just do it tomorrow.”

Say it with me. This… is BS. Let me tell you what happens. You get home. You’re tired. You’re worn out. You’re angry. Whatever. Instead of using your pending workout at something to energize you and destress you, you put it off by saying “Oh, I’ll just tack it on to tomorrow’s workout.” You know what happens now: either you skip tomorrow’s workout as well, or you do finish tomorrow’s workout, forgetting the part you were supposed to tack on.

The problem with this is that it’s an excuse. It’s allowing you to excuse very big parts of your routine – your entire routine for a day – and its a bad habit that you don’t want to develop. Do yourself a favor. If you get the feeling that you want to “put it off until tomorrow,” go anyway… but do at least 1/3 of your workout. Why 1/3? For one, you’re still going. That prevents you from getting into the habit of not going. For two, once you get into the swing of your routine, its highly unlikely that you’ll literally stop at 1/3. You’ll probably keep going… and you’ll probably feel glad that you did.

2) You’re still freaking dieting: you diet, you lose a little weight, you go back to life before the diet, you put the weight back on. Woe is me.

I don’t believe in dieting (or “cheating“). I refuse to live on mashed potatoes for a week straight, grapefruit for a week straight, spongebob squarepants fruit snacks for a week straight.. whatever voodoo mumbo jumbo looney tunes diet is going on out there right now just to lose a measly five pounds. I don’t believe in being miserable.

Dieting is moronic. Yes. I said it. Dieting says that it makes sense to “take a break from your regular bad habits” to go on a temporary severely restricted regimen, lose weight, then go right back to the habits that caused you to gain weight in the first place. How does that make sense?

If your goal is temporary weight loss, then yes, a temporary change makes sense. But last time I checked, no one puts themselves through a ton of dietary trauma just to lose five pounds for five days, right? Right.

I believe in making changes to the habits I created, be they questionable or downright deplorable. If I want to go in on some ice cream? I’ma do it, but there’s a consequence I have to suffer through, and that consequence teaches me the lesson: lay off the ice cream. That lesson is far more powerful than anything a darn diet could teach me. Ever.

3) You think the latest weight loss gadget is your ticket: you’ve got a closet full of ab pulsing belts, shake weights and thigh masters…

…and, for some reason, your abs aren’t ripped, your arms aren’t cut, and your thighs don’t look like Suzanne Somers. This is not coincidence.

Did you know that you can do the same exercise the thigh master shows you how to do… without the thigh master? That’s right. You don’t need the thighmaster to do leg lifts. You don’t need some pedals on a spring board to do sit ups… you can just do sit ups at home. You don’t need to shake an overweight rattle – one that, I presume, was created as an inside joke among perverts – to tone your arms the same way regular ol’ push ups or a one liter of water as a dumbell could.

Stop thinking that you need to spend – or waste, however you see it – money on the latest fad product to help you get it in. You don’t. You can do this with no products, or you can have all the products in the world. If you don’t have the work ethic needed to make this thing happen for you, then you can kiss your goal  – and your money – goodbye. You won’t be seeing it.

4) You’re impatient.

This ain’t The Biggest Loser. (Hell, The Biggest Loser ain’t The Biggest Loser.) But for some reason, you want to lose 30lbs in a week, too. Crappy supermarket checkout line magazines don’t really help with this, but you swear up and down that you’re supposed to “lose 7lbs in 7 days with nooooo effort!!!” and after that first week, when you don’t “lose 7lbs in 7 days with nooooo effort!!!” you want to walk around the house with your lip poked out all mad and angry, ready to give up on weight loss and, ultimately, wellness.

Did you put the weight on in 7 days? Why think that you can lose it that fast? Are you running at cheetah speed for two hours a day? Then no, you’re not going to lose 7lbs in a week. Let that go. There is nothing wrong with 1-2lbs in a week. There is nothing wrong with finding that you’ve lost 5-8lbs in a week, either: if you’ve upped the fiber in your diet and are going potty more, that’ll reflect on the scale… if you made drastic changes to your caloric intake, that’ll reflect as well. But by and large, the average woman worried about a “final 10-15lbs” (she is usually the target of this “lose 30lbs in 10 minutes!” schtick) is not going to actually do it.

This takes patience. It takes learning and relearning your body… which really takes patience. Don’t shortchange yourself by trying to rush through it for a bikini or a little black dress. Not worth it.

5) After reading this, you’re gonna laugh, nod your head and say “Yep,” and not change a single thing.

I’m serious – how many people do you estimate will read this, giggle a little, and then go right back to their Doritos and crystal light? C’mon, man, either you’re in or you’re out. Either you want it, or you don’t. Every decision you make, you need to make with your ultimate wellness in mind. Every step you take needs to be one where you are conscious of you and your needs. It requires that much effort.. and either you’re willing to put in that effort or you’re not. Waddling in the middle isn’t going to get you anywhere, that’s for sure.

So really, prove me wrong – stop buying every silly product that comes out. Stop putting off workouts. Stop with the impatience (and, consequently, undue stress and pressure that comes with it.) Stop with the freaking diets. Just live… healthier. It’s that easy.

5 Reasons Why You Won’t Lose Weight is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. “Don’t Lose Any Weight.. I Love A Big Fine Woman!”
2. Admitting The Desire To Lose Weight: Does It Affect Self-Esteem?
3. Why Aren’t Feminists Allowed To Lose Weight?

The FULL list of meal plans is currently available. Check it out and get your copy today!

Get BGG2WL delivered wirelessly to your Kindle! Click here for more info!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 58 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: dieting, Fad Diets, Healthy Eating, mentality, motivation, shake weight, skipping workouts, thigh master, weight loss scams

I used to do some hilarious stuff, man. Seriously. I used to go out to eat, get something to take home, eat it right before bed, wake up, pull out last night’s to-go and get to munching. I specifically remember this 7-layer nacho dip that I used to tear up… and be proud of it, too! I mean, it was good! I was slaughtering that dip at 8 in the morning. Never mind the fact that I’d be sluggish for the rest of the day.. that didn’t matter. What mattered was that I was feeding that craving, and that food fulfillment was making me happy.

Then, I evolved a little. I wasn’t creeping out to that restaurant and getting that dip… I’d just buy some “guacamole” from the grocery…and eat that for breakfast. At least I wasn’t eating 7-layer nacho dip anymore, right? I actually remember talking to one of my fit guy friends one morning, and he heard me banging around in the kitchen.

“What are you doing over there?”

“Looking for the rest of my chips!”

“Chips? At 9 in the morning?”

“Yeah! I’ve got to finish up my breakfast?”

“Wait — what are you eating?”

“Guacamole! It’s goooooood, too!”

My lovely-giant-sunset-pepper omelette! Looks awful, tasted delicious! LOL

Dead silence. I’m not sure if he knew what to say, but I do remember finding my chips and not being able to bite into any of them. I thought I was doing good! I was eating stuff at home instead of ordering out! This made sense! But his silence left me with another confusing proposition.. actually thinking about what I was eating at home.

I won’t lie… I was kinda pissed. I have to think about that too? I was still looking for a shortcut. Some kind of default understanding that would give me some kind of foundation… so that I wouldn’t have to think so much. I eventually found it, but I had to struggle a bit to get it. You might be wondering why I didn’t just ask him for what he does and eats, and I don’t mind telling you – I didn’t want to just copy what someone else was doing. I needed to find what worked for me, so that I’d know for a fact that I’d actually enjoy myself.

So, I created a list of things that I knew I couldn’t have anymore. Soft drinks? No. Bright, eerily colorful cereals? No. Chemical-laden foods? No. I knew what I needed to avoid and I knew why I needed to avoid it. And, I was off.

So… I had my boundaries that I couldn’t break. But dang, that felt like my everything! It felt like everything was off limits! It felt as if everything I was into, I had to let go. I was really distraught! The more I learned about eating and how food was meant for my body, the more I realized: I wasn’t limiting myself… I was freeing myself.

I get it – that sounds corny – but let me explain. My options were only as limited as my access, my cooking ability and my creativity. I’m no longer limited to horrible sugary crap in a box for breakfast. I can buy a pound of oatmeal for $1.30, buy my own maple syrup and my own brown sugar (both of which I keep on hand for baking, anyway) and make my own maple and cinnamon oatmeal. And because my ingredients are so much more flavorful, I use less of them – a flavorful enough maple syrup and the right cinnamon? I’m set.

I don’t even have to eat grains for breakfast if I don’t want them. I can eat – get this – fruit. Or vegetables. I don’t even have to drink milk if I choose. I can have an omelette. I can have biscuits and apple butter. I don’t have to short change myself and limit myself to what’s in a box… or feel like I should skip breakfast altogether just because I can’t sit down and cook something. Cooking “from the aisles” (which, really, isn’t cooking at all) was far more limiting than anything else I could come up with on my own.

Having said that… it’s obviously about being a half-full or half-empty type. My experience with food turned me into a half-full type.. because for my health, I couldn’t afford to see my kitchen as “half-empty.” Looking at the situation from a negative standpoint pretty much ensured that I’d spend the rest of my life unhealthy and overweight… and that simply was not an option. Was it difficult to give up what I loved? You’re damn right it was, but was my desires and cravings more important to me than my own person? My desire to drink a soft drink outweighed my desire to be healthy? Um, no. Never that. Especially when I can eat natural foods, eat less and enjoy them just-as-much-if-not-more? C’mon, there’s no contest, here.

Sure, you might see “Oh, so I can have an omelette or some oatmeal for breakfast.. but that’s only two options.” Not if you’re creative with your ingredients. I can add peppers, chili powder, coriander and a sausage and pow. Mexican omelette. Cheese, mushroom, tomato.. boom. French omelette. Chilies, onion, sausage? Pow.

Want me to keep going? I won’t. Team BGG2WL loves to talk about oatmeal, too.

Easing into clean eating is first and foremost about reframing the situation – you are not limiting yourself… you are giving yourself more options than you’ve ever had before. You are not depriving yourself, you are using your time to explore other possibilities. You aren’t unhappy about giving up your old favorites… you are nervous about finding new ones, but still willing to try. Willing to try because, well, our health depends on it.

Do you have any tips for someone who needs help easing into clean eating?

Easing Into Eating Clean is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. Q&A Wednesday: Is Clean Eating An Eating Disorder?
2. Why I Don’t Believe In “Cheating” On Your Clean Eating
3. Welcome To Clean Eating Boot Camp!

The FULL list of meal plans is currently available. Check it out and get your copy today!

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 20 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: mentality, reframing

And as much as I hated it, I agree with it. I’m much more comfortable with who I am… and while I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that it had something to do with my new-found figure, I’d also be dishonest if I didn’t admit that it has far more to do with what I’ve learned during my journey – not only about myself, but about the environment in which I live.

I do believe that I exuded [what I believed was] confidence, before. It was a degree of confidence that worked for me at that time. I believed that I was confident because I was almost unstoppable. And that made sense. I was proud of my ability to achieve the things I had achieved, proud of the connections I had made at such a young age and proud of how I had leveraged my abilities in a way that always kept me afloat…. however “afloat” applied to the situation.

But for me, it was always a little hollow. There was always this nagging thought in the back of my mind that there was something that I couldn’t conquer… something that I couldn’t defeat. So, for me, my self-confidence was lacking. It was visible on the outside, but on the inside? Empty. Hollow.

There was always this one thing that I couldn’t shake, and it made me uncomfortable in certain situations. I was always a little uncomfortable eating in certain environments. I was always afraid to be caught going to and from fast food restaurants. Certain situations were things that just couldn’t be explained by my amazing abilities and talents, and because I knew how judgy society could be… there was always certain situations where I felt like I was always running and hiding. Really.

As I said, I’d be lying if I didn’t experience a raise in my self-confidence when my body began to change. I look back, now, on the photos I took and posted, and I smile at myself. Not because I looked good – I did, though – but because I was proud. I was proud of my ability to achieve the things I’d achieved, proud of how I’d used the connections I’d made at such a young age, and proud of how I leveraged my abilities in a way that always kept me focused on my end result.

Sound familiar?

For some reason, my inability to control my weight dogged at me and kept me from feeling completely confident. Was it because I was aware of how society feels about fat girls? Was it because my weight was an element of my life that I couldn’t control? Or was it the fact that I felt some kinda way about my failure to manage my eating habits in a fashion that didn’t harm me in the end? I don’t know… I don’t know that I’ll ever know.

What I do know, however, was that there was a point where that all started to change for me. I started to realize how useless and stupid society can truly be when it comes to weight and wellness. I started to realize that my ability – really, my inability – to control myself was altered by things I had never even thought of before. I started to realize that managing my eating habits required more than simple efforts in this day and age. I became more aware.

That, to me, is where it gets interesting. Self-confidence is defined as self-assuredness in one’s personal judgment, ability and power.

If that’s the definition of self-confidence, then wouldn’t it make sense that mine would feel hollow? If I felt this kind of inner guilt about my inability to control myself or even manage my looks in a way most appropriate to myself… wouldn’t it make sense that my self-confidence would feel empty?

I’ve received so many e-mails from women who say that they “don’t know how to love themselves,” and I understand that feeling. When I was at a point in my life where it felt like that guilt was unbearable, it did feel difficult to love myself and trust in my ability to care for myself. No matter what I was doing for others on the outside, I always had to contend with this when I got home at night. It was much easier to lose myself in work, school, family, whatever than it was to lose myself… in myself. Focusing on myself would only remind me of this thing that I felt so guilty about. Not focusing on myself, however, would only ensure that things would get further out of control.

But why do I feel guilty? If it’s because of how people will look at me… can I really ever change that? Listen… I’m more self-confident now than I’ve ever been, and now people call me arrogant… because, y’know, heaven forbid I be aware of my power and how I can successfully wield it. I had to learn, the hard way, that society will beat you down if you let them. I think they call it “…crabs in a barrel syndrome?”

A syndrome where a group of like situated people hurt those in their community attempting to get ahead.

Often this is applied to people in an impoverished community where one person is starting to get ahead. The collective community becomes jealous or filled with a sense of self-loathing, so they find a way to pull that person back down to the community’s level.

When harvesting crab, the crab as a group will pull down any crab that starts to climb out of the barrel in an attempt to be the first out of the barrel that holds them in, hence crabs-in-a-barrel.

Sounds about right, right? In a community where very few people understand what it means to organically develop a sense of self-confidence, anyone who creates their own would immediately be shunned, clowned, insulted, or… get this:

“…brought down a notch or two.”

Get the hell outta here. I can’t be the only person who’s witnessed women (and men!) say this about someone.

I find that when I talk to a lot of women who were in situations similar to my own, they try to fill the void in their sense of self-confidence by seeking outside resources to give them reasons to be confident. They fish for compliments… or they go out and engage in promiscuous behavior. And I don’t mean “Oh, I’m in charge of my sexuality” – I don’t mean “that brand of promiscuity.” I mean the “Well, he told me everything I wanted to hear… so I slept with him and now I haven’t heard from him.” brand of promiscuity. (I’ll also mention that there are people with a vested interest in making sure we are never fully self-confident… because then, they couldn’t take advantage of us. Predatory individuals, yes. They exist.) If you have a hole in your self-confidence… you will fill it improperly.

You can’t do that. I hope it’s obvious as to why. When you use outside resources to give your confidence a boost… what happens when those resources disappear? You’re left with the same void.. possibly even more desperate to fill it again. I’ve been there. We’ve all been there.

Self-confidence is self-assuredness in one’s personal judgment, ability and power.

Learning how to truly take care of my body and myself was what allowed me to develop my confidence. Learning what makes me tick – as an individual – empowered me in ways that no series of one-night-stands or silly compliment quests could accomplish. Developing a system where I could adequately judge what I allow in my life? Of all the things I’ve achieved in my life, of everything that I’m honored to have participated in… nothing tops that. Not even having a child. Why? Because what I’ve learned, I can still pass down to her and create a lineage of self-confident, self-controlled women. How incredible is that?

Why is self-confidence a game? Because it’s a board full of players, all trying to keep you from the goal line. So many people around you are invested in you never becoming self-assured… self-aware… self-confident. If you never think you can do it on your own, you’ll constantly seek out someone or something to “help” you. You have to cleverly maneuver your way through them all, avoid getting sucked back into the silliness, and come out on top. What does it mean to come out on top? Finally achieving results.

What better way to reinforce the idea that your personal judgment, ability and power are good enough for you to feel confident in them?

I say to every woman out there – I say to myself – take a long, hard look at your individual sense of self-confidence. Determine if you do feel that there’s a void that you’re filling with anything other than yourself… then take active – and I do mean active – steps to change that. Nothing more empowering than seeking out information, putting that into action, and seeing results.

The Self-Confidence Game is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. Q&A Wednesday: Share Your Experiences With Video Game Fitness!
2. Super Bowl Sunday: Watch The Game And Get In Your Workout!

The FULL list of meal plans is currently available. Check it out and get your copy today!

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: power, self-confidence, self-esteem, sex

That was tough for me. I mean, there’s nothing more foolish than feeling like you don’t even want to leave your house. Turning yourself into a hermit. Alienating yourself. It’s difficult to admit that that’s the kind of choice you’re making for yourself, even when it’s obviously to your own detriment. But, as I’ve written before, I have to acknowledge where I’m struggling in order to adequately solve it and move beyond it.

The hardest part of writing that post actually didn’t involve any writing at all. The hardest part of my post was handing it off to The Mister, and asking him to read it. I felt bad – the post is an accidental indictment of his city and the environment that made him who he was – but I had to trust that he would try to look at it all from my perspective and think about how he could help me become stronger and more comfortable.

A big part of this is the fact that I’m just not comfortable. I’m an Indiana girl in NYC and the city is mad intimidating… I rarely know where I’m going, relying heavily on Google Maps to get most places instead of my intuition (I’m a strong believer in understanding my “never eat shredded wheats,” man… and shoutout to those of you who get that reference.) because I don’t know where anything is, and am generally frustrated by my inability to drive anywhere. (No, I drive…and you can try to drive out here if you want… but you will lose either your sanity – because people can’t drive worth two pink pennies – or simply lose every dollar in your wallet, because parking is insanely expensive.) Driving is a privilege that affords you privacy… and peace. You don’t have to wonder why the hell the only other person in your subway car keeps pacing, like he’s arguing with the voices in his head over whether or not he should stab you, if you’re in your own car, instead.

To put a long story short, The Mister figured it out: if I’m going to develop a sense of comfort, I have to become NYC-savvy. You just… you really can’t get by living like a suburbanite in the most un-suburban environment in the country.

He’s pretty damned committed to making sure I become comfortable, too. I mean, a big part of this is probably the fact that if I don’t become comfy, he’s going to be sentenced to a life of wedded non-bliss smack-dab in the middle of the corn belt, and that’s pretty close to death for a life-long big city fella. I’m just sayin’… I’m sure he has his own motives for being so vigilant, but I’m also certain he just wants me to feel whole in his home state.

I don’t know that I’ve ever blogged about support systems before, and how important they can be to someone starting out a new way of living. Lots of people don’t need them – they’re simply nose to the grindstone, straight for the goal, undeterred… and I think that’s great. I also think that, if a person knows they have difficulty seeing the long term goal because the short term instant gratification is so satisfying, a person should accept that they may be in need of a support system to keep them focused.

When I first started out, I didn’t really know what I was doing. I didn’t know about calories, activity, or even vegetables. I didn’t know about cooking, I didn’t know about my body image issues (like, you know they’re there, but contextually you don’t know what they are and how they inhibit your ability to change yourself), or anything about emotional eating. And, most recently, I didn’t know my issues with safety were affecting my willingness to change my body size, and that I need to do what I can to feel more safe. My fiancé, a new addition to my support system, is helping me to parse that out.

I can remember having countless conversations with my sorority sister about food and how her family has always been pretty healthy. We discussed the fact that her family even frowned upon using boxed meals/foods… they were adamant about keeping everything fresh. We talked about how she avoids fast food like the devil because, quite frankly, “if I eat it, I’ma have to wear it… and I’m not trying to have that. It doesn’t taste good enough for all that!” And, before I knew it, I’d learned three things that never dawned on me before, as someone who was morbidly obese: that people do turn down food, instead of just eating everything that comes to them; that it is okay to pride yourself in cooking only fresh meals; and that food, and any pleasures that might come from its consumption, doesn’t have to be top priority.

I can remember having daily conversations with my boy, a former (according to him, you never stop being a Marine, so he’ll probably harass me about the “former”) Marine, about his commitment to his exercise regime. “I spend all day at my desk, I’d rather be at a MMA (mixed martial arts) class than sitting on the couch watching TV. Besides, I like the way I look.” And, I’ve got to be real – even though I was a stay-at-home-mom at the time and spent almost all day watching TV, the part of what he said that resonated with me the most was “I like the way I look.” It wasn’t said with a “shrug,” as if to imply “acceptance,” it was said matter-of-factly. It was said in a way that implied “I wouldn’t have my body any other way.” I couldn’t say that I was able to give off the same vibe in talking about myself. I had accepted my shape, but had never had those same feelings before. It was through him, that I learned that my body image could use some work.

It was also through him that I learned the importance of a real and true commitment. Not a bullsh-t penny-annie commitment where you work out for a few days and then fall all-the-way-off. I’m talking, three-sports-at-a-time-plus-running-so-you’re-active-seven-days-a-week kind of commitment. Freakish commitment. Not only does your body benefit from it appearance-wise, but you push your understanding of what it means to be “sore”…what it means to be “tired.” You realize that your original understanding of “done” gets pushed beyond what you originally planned for. You start feeling like maybe… juuuust maybe… you had the game all messed up. Maybe… juuuuuust maybe… you were a little bit (or a lot) lazier than you thought, and, well, very few people earn their wings (or weight loss) by being lazy.

And my Mom… ohhhh, my Mom. My Mom is courageous. Fierce. She’s also an evil Scorpio, which means that she’s always my biggest cheerleader, in her own special Scorpio way. She’s just… remember when I called my Mom scared on the way to Rockefeller Center, and she referred to me as “the cowardly lion, calling the Wizard for some courage?” From her, I’ve learned (and am still learning) that fear can often a good thing. Whenever I’m afraid to the point where I’m calling her, it means I’m heading off into new waters and need reassurance that I should keep going. It’s so bad, that at this point, even she knows how it goes. She’ll even tell me, “Eventually, you’ll stop calling me when you realize you’re not calling me because I need to talk you down off the plane… you’re calling me because you need me to tell you to jump.”

Now, I have this super-dope dude in my life who is trying to see Brooklyn from an all-new perspective – no longer as a single man, but a family man. With a child and an almost-wife to think of. He’s got his own learning curve to deal with, as well as having me to work with, here.

Fun times.

He’s helping me claim the city for my own, and a big part of that is… well… going out into it. He started by finding the water for me – literally:

The view outside the Fulton St. South Street Seaport

which helped me out a ton because, quite frankly, I miss the freaking beach. Not because I like being naked in the sun, but there’s something peaceful about looking into never-ending sky and sea… with the occasional cruise ship interrupting your view. I just… like the water.

Follow that up with a trek across… none other than… the Brooklyn Bridge (of course he couldn’t take me on the Manhattan Bridge first):

with more… yep, you guessed it… water:

He ain’t slick.

Let’s also talk about the bright idea he had to order some lime and tomatillo tortilla soup – take-out – at 10 at night, and we should walk to go get it. “Oh, come on… it’s not that far! It’s not that big of a deal! We’ll take the dogs.”

Yes… I went, and yes, I lived to complain another day.

There’s also the actual safety component of the post I wrote about, though, that can’t be faded away with some fun foot travels. For that? Actual self-defense training. The unfortunate thing about someone encroaching on your space and disrespecting your boundaries is that, no matter how “scary” you look, if the end goal seems beneficial enough to the perpetrator, they will violate your boundaries. It doesn’t matter where you are, or who you are. None of that changes the fact that you can always fight, and if you fight, you can always try to win.

I’m learning a lot from this. Not only that there are amazing and beautiful places worth exploring in this giant, massive, monster of a city… but that there are places for me, here. That greatly affects my ability to be comfortable. It’s nowhere near as bad as I thought it might be, but should it get bad some day, I can be prepared to fight to win.

My support system is invaluable to not only my weight loss but to my growth as a person. I can’t go on, eating bad food, being lazy, not committing to anything or never leaving my house… always afraid of something. They were always there to give me the extra push I needed in the direction I wanted to go. Each one acted as a mentor to me in the way in which I wanted to go, and those are the only people I even let in on my desire to lose weight, because I looked up to them and admired the parts of them that I wanted to rub off on me. They were willing to yank my head out of my hindquarters when necessary, and cheered me on when I needed it. Everyone needs a support system like that. I’m eternally thankful for mine.

Do you have a support system? What have they done for you lately? (Ooooh yeah!)

The Importance Of A Strong Support System is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. Portion Control: Gaming The System
2. Q&A Thursday: How Can We Support BGG2WL?
3. Death to “The Strong Black Woman”

The FULL list of meal plans is currently available. Check it out and get your copy today!

Get BGG2WL delivered wirelessly to your Kindle! Click here for more info!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 4 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags:

Portion control is an important part of converting to clean eating, because if you’ve lived a processed food diet, chances are your perceptions of appropriate portion sizes are skewed.We create a system for ourselves that translates into simplifying everyday processes. We’re humans. We like easy… and that’s okay, but we have to know when “easy” isn’t doing us any favors. “Ease” and “portion control” don’t go together very well.

You have to think about it in terms of how one idea leads to another. You might be used to “requiring more food” to be full. You might automatically put a certain amount of food on your plate because you know it requires approximately this much to fill you up. Because you know you put enough food on the plate to fill you up, you might not even think about being full while you eat. You eat to clean your plate… only to groan loudly after it’s all clean and say “Wow, I’m really stuffed.”

Don’t do that.

The reality is, the “stuffed” feeling is not ideal. We got that from commercials (of course they want us to eat up ALL of their product… because that means we have to go back and buy more) and marketing that glamorizes that belly-filled feeling. It’s smart… just not smart for us. We have to be way more clever than that.

When you are first converting to clean eating, every decision you make involving food has to be conscious. You have to be aware. So everything from the piece of peppermint you had after breakfast to the taste-testing you did while cooking dinner, they all have to conscious. You have to know that food is going into your mouth. You also have to know how much you’re giving yourself.

Having said that… let’s talk about the best way to game the system: Your plate.

I’m willing to bet it’s huge. You know how I know this? Because mine are huge. Massive, even. My plates were a gift to me from a dear friend, and though they’re a gorgeous set – complete with tea cups, saucers, bowls and ginormous plates – they’re killin’ me.

When we make our plates, we literally work to fill the plate. Show me someone who is comfortable with making their plate and having only half of it filled, and I’ll show you someone who either (a) is using plates that they didn’t buy or (b) is extremely conscious of their portion sizes (even though they may not admit that part to you.) It’s just a fact of life.

Don’t get me wrong – there’s a point where you no longer have to worry about portion sizes because this, like the old habits, does start to solidify itself as a new habit. But you still have to go through the growing pains. For now, that includes the basics.

One of the best ways to address this is by starting with the very things you use every day in your kitchen… and that’s your silverware, your glasses, your plates and your bowls.

Remember this quote:

Once [a processed food] meets your saliva and enters your body, it breaks right back down to the goo… with no fiber inside to help push it out. It essentially deflates inside of your system, making it easier to consume more calories because you’re “not full yet.” Couple all of this with the fact that it takes approximately 20 minutes for your brain to get the signal from your digestive system that you’re “full,” and you start to see why a food that breaks down this quickly is a recipe for disaster – a breaded chicken breast on wheat bread breaks down much more slowly than a chicken patty sandwich on white bread, takes longer to chew (buying you time until that 20 minute mark… see why that 30 bites was important?), takes longer to digest (thus leaving you feeling fulfilled longer), and keeps you from overindulging.

Excerpted from: Avoiding That Starving Feeling | A Black Girl’s Guide To Weight Loss

If it takes 20 minutes to feel filled, then why not use things to slow down the process?

Do you use gigantic spoons whenever you get ready to eat? If so, you’re only speeding up the eating process. Take your time – that includes using a smaller spoon, taking smaller bites and chewing and enjoying the flavor. (Of course, this means getting food that actually has flavor worth savoring, not something that merely has “sweet” or “creamy” going for it. I don’t know about you, but I swallowed those cereals down fast… partly because they had no flavor. Just a lot of “sweet” that fueled my sugar addiction.)

Do you have huge glasses? Are you drinking tons of milk or juices? Those glasses are easily two to three servings a piece. Seriously. I know that, for a long time, I used to use one of those thermal “big gulp” cups that I got from a gas station (this is its own problem, I’m aware) and fill it up with coke. That’d be my dinner drink. Large scale fail. I mean, don’t get me wrong – I do have a 50oz container sitting on ym desk as I type, but it’s full of water. Be conscious of what you’re drinking and how much you’re drinking of it at all times. Save the big cups for water, and set aside your smaller cups for meal time… unless, that is, you’re drinking water.

What about your bowls? I always think of that clip from Friday when Craig goes to make the bowl of cereal, and he grabs the world’s largest bowl and pours in half the box of cereal? Yeah… don’t do that.

(Did I just reference Friday on my blog? Help me.)

Cereal is a big culprit when it comes to overeating. It just never seems to be enough. If you’re eating something and it feels like it can never fill you up without several servings, then it’s not working for you. Stop eating it. Using a moderate sized bowl to eat whole foods will help you learn to pay attention to your body’s signals as well as avoid over eating.

Plates are the most ginormous culprit in making it easy to overeat, because they’re literally the size of hubcaps, now. I mean, the last time I ordered a dish at The Cheesecake Factory, I specifically remember the plate being as wide as I am! I don’t think that’s much different from my plates at home, and that’s the sad part! The reality is, we could get away with a decent ten inch-sized plate, but we don’t. That “feels weird.” But if you’re someone who has a hard time with seeing a half-empty plate, then going smaller may be the better move.

For me, right now, this is a big deal because my goals require me to really focus more on what my meals consist of, and shrinking my portion sizes. Since I know that I’ve become accustomed to how I’ve been living my life in regards to food, its time to start paring down a little more and making my meals even more meaningful. I may write about that another day. The reality is… new plates and bowls are high on the list.

Lots of grocery stores sell individual plates and bowls, so even if I don’t want to buy an entire kit, I can still slowly build up a collection for me, at first. There’s nothing wrong with that.

The reality is… no matter how much we calorie count, people don’t eat for calorie values. We eat for volume. (Though I know there are lots of people who weigh each portion they eat, I have never been that person and can’t speak on that.) Not only do we eat for volume, but we gauge how effective a certain amont will be by how it appears on the plate. “If it can fill up the plate, then surely, it’ll fill me up.” In a lot of instances, we’ve made that decision before we’ve even stuck our forks into our plates.

See why you can’t auto-pilot this? Auto-pilot might convince you that you need a second plate before you’ve even started on the first!

I say all of this to say, consider using smaller serving dishes, smaller spoons, smaller bowls, smaller glasses and smaller plates… and your tendency to overeat will slowly decrease. I promise.

Portion Control: Gaming The System is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. This Week’s Clean Eating Boot Camp Assignment: Portion Control
2. The Importance Of A Strong Support System
3. Portion Distortion: Stop Eating Out Of The Bag

The FULL list of meal plans is currently available. Check it out and get your copy today!

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 24 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: mentality, portion control

How often do you snack?

It’s not how often you snack, it’s what you’re snacking on. You have to truly think about your day, and what you’re eating (and if you’re writing in a food diary, are you even including the little candies and cookies you snack on in your diary?) throughout the day. Every time you stick something in your mouth, you’re snacking. Is it candy? Is it office cookies? Are they empty calories – calories with neither nutrients nor real food (like cookies, cakes, candies)?

Consider how much time goes between your meals. Do you leave for work at 6am, with no lunch break until 1pm? Chances are, you might overeat at your 1pm meal because it’s been at least 7 hours since the last time you ate! We can’t have that!

If you know you’re goin to have a long day… plan! Prepare in advance. How?

Tools of the Trade

Let me tell you how I snack.

First of all, I keep food everywhere that I know I’d have a hard time convincing myself to not seek out a quicker, cheaper, less healthy option. Like… the car. Or… my desk. Perhaps, even, my kitchen. Yes.. the kitchen. If the name of the game is to avoid overeating, you head yourself off at the pass by providing little things that can quickly satiate an immediate hunger, and give you enough time to make sound decisions about what you want to eat. So for me, snacking helps curb that “hungry” feeling – if I avoid eating at the last minute (which is what causes that “hungry” feeling) and eat a little bit each time on a set schedule, I will never encounter that hungry feeling (or if I do, it’ll be rare) and I’ll never have a reason to overeat. I’ll never encounter that “Ohhh, I’m starving” feeling that usually propels me to overindulge.

What am I snacking on?

I keep a bag of grapes in the freezer. Why? Because they’re healthy, low-calorie, they take a while to eat and actually make me stop and think about whether or not I’m really hungry. I just grab a couple of frozen grapes, bite and chew them slowly (I’m quick to get brain freeze, so I’m careful and chew slowly) and before too long, I can assess just how hungry I am. Will I need only a few more grapes? Should I consider cooking? I get time to think about these things while I chew my grapes – slowly and carefully so as to avoid brain freeze! – and enjoy myself.

I keep a ziploc bag with half a cup (which is, essentially, two servings) of sunflower seeds in the bottom of my purse. Sunflower seeds are high in protein and fiber, so it doesn’t take a lot of ‘em to get you where you need to be. They won’t satisfy me if I’m having that “Grrr, I’m starving” feeling, but if I’m eating on my proper schedule, I should never encounter that feeling, right?

I keep a bag of freeze dried banana chips in the car. This is usually for both myself and my daughter, just in case I’m stuck in traffic. They’re naturally sweet, very nutritious, and very satisfying to me. I just eat them one at a time – even if it means I eat the entire little ziploc bag of ‘em.. I eat them one at a time. Remember, if I’m eating on my proper schedule, I should not have that ravenous “eat-six-at-a-time” feeling, right?

I keep cocoa powder in the house. Mix a little cocoa powder with water and confectioner’s sugar, and I’ve got chocolate sauce. Grab my strawberries, and ta-da! A nice light little strawberry and chocolate snack. Clearly, that’s a weekend thing. Not everyone has the time or means to make their own chocolate sauce during the week or after a long day!

The grocery sells sliced cantaloupe, so I keep some in the fridge. A slice or two usually tides me over for the next hour or two. In fact, if you don’t have time to tend to fruit yourself, those grocery store fruit salads might work pretty well altogether. A small one should help out pretty well!

What works for you?

These are a few things that, over time, have proven to work for me. I had to look at my routine. I had to check out my diary and see where I was the most vulnerable, and that’s when the answers started pouring out. Where do you find that you’re most vulnerable? What snacks tend to tide you over until your next meal?

The Ancient Art of Snack-Fu is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 18 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: snacking

You then immediately pour salt all over the dish, as a means of preventing yourself from eating the rest.

Is there a place for this kind of behavior?

Food destruction, vaguely, is the idea of literally rendering a plate of food inedible – by way of mustard, excessive salting, ketchup, okra snot, hot sauce, that strange silica gel stuff you find in shoe boxes or goodness knows what – so that you won’t consume the rest. This isn’t to be confused with the proper etiquette practices of placing your napkin or your silverware across your plate to notify the service that you’re finished with your meal, though.

Recently, Marie Claire spent a little time lambasting health bloggers (apparently, like myself) and questioning whether or not they encourage unhealthy habits, where food destruction was mentioned. Even though the Marie Claire article has its own large handful of problems, it did make me do a little more reading on the topic of food destruction. Not because I’m interested in destroying food now (Me? Destroy food? I’m too cheap for that.), but because I’m actually someone who can understand why someone would destroy food and as someone who has been there before, I can see it in a different light now.

One of the maligned bloggers, Heather, co-wrote the following on the topic of destroying food:

I usually put my napkin in my plate when I am done eating. Mark detests this and routinely removes the napkin from my plate.  My hunch was that he wanted the leftovers under the napkin, so I started asking him whether he wanted it before I “napkin’d” the plate. The napkin signifies that I am done, kind of like an out of sight, out of mind kind of thing. I learned that Mark perceived it as a type of food destruction; it made him feel uncomfortable for me, I think.

I am generally too cheap and too appreciative of food to destroy it, but I have (very recently) thrown away a whole batch of cookies because I could not stop going back for “just one more.” In a perfect world, I would have cookies, put away cookies,  step away from cookies, and have a nice day. [Un]fortunately, I am not perfect.

In the same post her co-blogger, Mark, countered with the following:

If you have an unbridled sensation to eat everything in sight you might consider mixing your peas and mashed potatoes once in a while. Second thought, bad example; peas and mashed potatoes are a match made for my mouth. Let’s talk battery acid and hamburger meat instead.

Utterly destroying your food (in the literal sense, not in the “you dude, you just destroyed that steak” sense) might be a practical tool for some people who have bigger problems than… well, food destruction. Putting some rocks and sand into your Lobster Bisque to save your life isn’t madness, it’s just survival of the fittest.

However, if you’re an otherwise normal person I would suggest a dab of discipline over a dash of diaper meat. Don’t destroy your food.

He said more about food destruction being “a slap in the face to the poor and starving,” but I don’t really find that relevant to food that’s already been bought and paid for… unless there’s some restaurant allowing you to return a portion of your food so that you only pay a portion of the price… and the rest goes to starving children in third world countries. It’s just a weak attempt at guilt.

After watching that series on How Junk Food Affects The Body, I have the following question: If someone has allowed themselves to enter that wash-rinse-repeat cycle of “feeling bad, knowing [insert food name] will make me feel better, pursuing and eating said food, feeling good temporarily from the high, crashing from the high, feeling bad”… what would be so wrong with actually recognizing that you are in the middle of said cycle, and breaking the cycle mid-way?

I can think back to when I first started learning just how our brains react to sugar and how the brain’s response is similar to the response to heroin. I’d always say to myself, “Aw, it won’t be so bad,” as I tested the theory out by eating some crap I had no business eating… and sure enough, if it gave me that strange “Mmmmm” feeling, if it had too many chemicals in it, or if it had a few specific characteristics (like, being made at a large franchise, big company, or chain bakery)? I felt my control slipping away. I felt my inability to keep myself from continuing to eat it… and the only thing that’d keep me from continuing my complacency in the cycle would be to toss it. Sometimes, I’d just let it meet my favorite friend, Mr. Garbage Disposal.

I question Mark’s stance because it implies some element of will power, and I know that the chemicals in most food are put there to supersede our will power. It also implies that hunger is there for a reason and, while I don’t disagree with that, I also think we sometimes confuse hunger with craving.. and psychology (and, hell, marketing) even says that something as minute as a memory can trigger a craving that, for a lot of us, can be confused with hunger. They’re simply not the same.

Then again, maybe I’m not the “otherwise normal person” he’s referring to. Interesting… considering this definition of normal – “approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment” – and the fact that the average American is, essentially, overweight and may be suffering from the same issue.

When I cook at home, I have will power enough to determine my appropriate portions. When I dine out, I have to interfere some secondary way – like ordering a much smaller dish, or having the server take away half of it in advance. I’ve yet to destroy food like tossing hot sauce on cheesecake, but that’s because I no longer eat cheesecake often enough for it to matter. If I were placing myself in that kind of situation regularly, I can’t say it’d be that easy. That leads me to my next point.

My experiences with having to throw away food have taught me a valuable lesson that comes from a place where my excessive cheapness intersects my desire to make smart decisions. I used to forget that the aim of the game wasn’t to be able to eat what I wanted without penalty, and just fret about burning the rest later during some hellish bout with the treadmill… it was about developing the ability to say NO to the things my brain was once addicted to. If I am facing a situation where I run the risk of having to “tamper with my food” in order to maintain my level of self-control… I stop myself before I place my order. If I find myself messing with some ingredients to make something-I-have-no-business-eating, I stop myself, take a long drink of water, relax and step away. As someone who can admit that I was truly a sugar addict, I can approach my addiction from a place of awareness… and learn from the situations where I had to render my food inedible instead of continually putting myself in the position of having to turn my plate upside down and smash the creamy goodness underneath.

Of course it tastes delicious. It wouldn’t sell if it didn’t… but I know better. I know that the stuff inside messes with my head and if it’s going to cause me an inordinate amount of guilt? It soooooo isn’t worth the hit to my self-esteem to eat it. Food – namely, food that alters my ability to control myself – is not that deep. I’m glad I can say that now.

Having said all that… is food destruction a bad thing? If it operates as a cycle of guilt, then I can absolutely see that being a problem. If it’s a part of an epiphany that says “Maybe I shouldn’t order this any more if it’s going to trigger this ravenous reaction within me,” though? It might not be so bad.

Is There Ever A Reason To Destroy Your Food? is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. Another Reason To Ditch The High Fructose Corn Syrup
2. No Myths Here: Food Stamps, Food Deserts and Food Scarcity
3. Food Guilt and Food Shaming Are Not Your Friend

The FULL list of meal plans is currently available. Check it out and get your copy today!

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 32 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: destroying your food, disordered eating, food destruction

Mike and Molly, the TV show that compelled a Marie Claire author to declare that fatties should "get a room."

A lonnnnnnnnnng time ago, I received a lovely comment from a reader (I wonder if she’s still lurking) who brought up something I’d like to address:

I’ve been reading your site for a few weeks now, so glad I found it because just from lurking I’ve learned so much. Your blog is super inspirational because you’ve lost the weight, but unlike so many other blogs, you haven’t started hating overweight people or shaming others who haven’t lost the weight. I read some other blogs, where the writers have lost their weight, and all of sudden they hate overweight people.

I’m not gonna act like I don’t understand that. I do. Don’t get me wrong, though – understanding something is very different from accepting it as “right.”

To be honest, I don’t really follow other “weight loss blogs” because, realistically, I just don’t want to be inundated with “lose weight, get thin!, change your life” and “food will never taste as good as thin feels!” mantras all day. I just want to live my life and get my Serena Williams booty — er, I mean, Michelle Obama arms in peace. I don’t like the idea of prizing thinness over being fit, and I don’t like the tacit demonization of fat, either… ’cause even if it’s 4% or 40%, you’re gonna have a little.

Anyhow, there is a market to which that kind of message caters, though – there are tons of people who are overweight who feel as though they deserve to be shamed for not having lost the weight, and also believe that the shame will compel them to do what they need to do. I can’t comment on whether it has or will work for them. I only know I don’t respond to that, and do better to not have it around me.

I’m always checking myself for this, because while I have to discuss things in realistic terms – being overweight impacted my ability to run, my weight affects my ability to excel at certain sports – that doesn’t remove my responsibility to be compassionate. Not my responsibility to my readership to be compassionate, but my responsibility to myself, because that comes first to me. When I blog, I’m writing to myself. I write the words that I know I need to hear, and I know that I don’t respond to an attitude that has to put someone else down to make my choice appear to be the better choice. I also don’t respond to the desperation that alot of people write when when it comes to losing weight. I mean, if you’re “desperate,” that’s you, but I won’t contribute to or participate in that.

I do think this is an important issue, though, because lots of people who lose weight actually need to, in fact, demonize “fatness” and “fat people.” They need to see “fat” as the enemy in order to press on away from it. I just can’t do that. For me, “fat” isn’t the enemy. “Weakness” is the enemy. Not being able to run across the city if I forget to secure a ride home is the enemy. Not being able to survive the zombie invasion is the enemy. Not being able to flip upside down on the pole is the enemy. Not looking the way I want is the enemy. Striving toward those things will give me the body I want without hating people – people who, invariably, look the same way I did, were probably as stressed out and emotionally broken as I was, are battling the same demons I faced (and still face), and simply want to live without judgment and “fat-shaming,” which is simply just chastising people and unnecessarily criticizing people for being fat.

There’s also this thing… the idea that leaving the ranks of the “oppressed” to join the ranks of the “oppressors.” Leaving behind “The Fat Team” to join “The Fit Team,” a lot of these folks simply enjoy being able to have the “power” of finally being able to do the clowning instead of remembering how it felt to be the butt of the joke and stopping it in its tracks. There’s pleasure, for some, in being able to be the bully instead of showing compassion… and that’s what it takes for them. For some people, they just enjoy the chance to “finally be the bully.” I do believe, for these people who demonize fat and enjoy being able to be the bully, it’s simply a matter of prioritizing “being skinny” too highly. It’s mildly creepy to me.

I’d also be lying if I didn’t admit that the idea of “demonizing fat people” smacks of anorexic behavior. Not even trying to be sensational, but it reminds me of the girl from Marie Claire a while back who wrote the blog post about “fatties” needing to get a room, because just the mere sight of them being out in public was enough to have her reaching for a barf bag (no pun intended.) The author of the post later admitted that she was an anorexic in recovery, and that this might’ve fueled her rant.

Ya think?

It has always been my personal belief that those of us who are on a quest to develop and maintain actual functional fitness – trying to achieve success or proficiency in a sport or competition – know that this is hard work. Losing a gang of weight? Hard work. Building muscle? Hard work. Committing yourself? Hard freaking work. Getting over yourself? Virtually impossible. It’s not something you mock someone or shame someone for because they haven’t achieved it yet… because you know how hard and long you fought to get there. You never perfect that art, because something will always test it. You’ll always feel challenged. And you know that.

It’s something we all should be mindful of, because at least in one form or another, we should understand. The problem is prevalent enough where either we’ve been there ourselves, or we know someone who has. They, just like we, deserve compassion and not shame. If you take anything away from my blog, please take that.

Losing Weight Makes You Hate “Fat People?” is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. Losing Weight and Losing Identity
2. Did I Just Plateau? Why Am I Not Losing Weight?
3. “Weight Loss Is For People With Low Self-Esteem”

The FULL list of meal plans is currently available. Check it out and get your copy today!

Get BGG2WL delivered wirelessly to your Kindle! Click here for more info!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 21 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: fat shaming, relationships

My daughter and I love to eat together. She’s not even able to tell time just yet, but she always knows when it’s time to eat – the same time every day.

For us, eating is a big thing. We set the table, she helps me pick out the veggies, she sits down, I serve us both, and we eat together. I always finish before she does, so I stay at the table with her until the end. If she finishes before me, I make us a little dessert to enjoy together. She cleans off the table (by, unfortunately, dropping my darn dishes in the sink), and we go off to do whatever we were doing before we sat down together. I enjoy these times together because the memories are powerful.

I remember when she was too small to sit at the table, and I sat her in a high chair next to me at the table. I remember sitting her on my lap and feeding her from my plate. I remember when she’d sit at the table in anticipation, and her little forehead was the only thing peeking out above the table. She had to raise her eyebrows and strain her neck pretty high up to even see above the table.

I remember teaching her how to use a fork. I remember when she couldn’t fit her mouth around the spoon. I even remember when every time she picked up a glass to drink, she’d drop it – she hadn’t realized she’d need both hands to hold a glass, and I hadn’t yet realized to only give her an ounce at a time… to help minimize the amount of mess she’d make. We both learned alot from one another at the dinner table. I remember the days when she couldn’t converse during dinner (secretly, I sometimes miss those… ’cause now, I can’t get her to hush.)

For me, a lot of my favorite memories of my little one come from our moments together dining. That’s where many of our memories are made each day. I look forward to sitting with her and watching her dive, nose first, into an ear of corn… because she does it just like her Mommy. I get pleasure and satisfaction from these moments with her. No interruptions via phone, no company, no TV… just us two. I leave the table feeling satiated through the food, and fulfilled through the company of my family.

I can’t say “Oh, good grief, I’m so stressed out… let me hurry up and make dinner so I can feel better” because this isn’t an experience that you speed through just to get the “satisfaction” at the end. The satisfaction isn’t at the end – it’s throughout the meal… and rushing through it causes you to miss it. There is no bingeing on this experience. You have to take your time to truly experience the benefit.

Compare this to emotional eating – a mindless experience that reverts us back to our most prehistoric desires. As I wrote before:

Once upon a time, in a land not very far from your home… lived mankind. No fast cars, no shiny structures, no skyscrapers, nothing. Just man.. rock… and animals.

See, this worked for man because his only task was to hunt wildlife, and gather his kill for his family. That was his responsibility. His purpose was to bring the salt and fat from the animal to the family. Not work, not bills… just hunt. Because life was much simpler then, this was man’s sole source of stress.

One day, man could not hunt. Every time he threw his spear, he’d miss his prey. He just couldn’t catch SQUAT! His family was to go hungry and he just… he couldn’t take it. The stress started to build up inside of him.

Because stress about the inability to eat is the only source of stress for man, his body became used to the eventual chain of events. His body knows: Lots of stress = lack of food coming in. How did his body react? His body decided to hold on to what it had – by way of diminishing the amount of energy his body could exert all at one time, by way of making sure his body took a very long time to lose weight, by way of making sure it held onto every pound and fat cell it could. This bodily reaction would only further compel man to step up his hunting skills… why? Because he didn’t want to feel that way! He didn’t want his family to feel that way! He had to get his caveman hustle on! When man was finally able to tackle that antelope or whatever-what-have-you, the fats and salts in the meat were sooooo satisfying that they would cure man of the bodily reaction to stress.

Compare this to emotional eating. The body’s reaction doesn’t change no matter what variables you swap out. Regardless if the stress comes from traffic, bad work day, or family problems… the body’s reaction to stress has not evolved as fast as society has. Now, we can get food within ten minutes if we drive or own a microwave. So presuming our body believes that stress is caused by a “famine on the way,” then it’s going to trigger feelings to make you go hunt! Our bodies just don’t know how easy it is to get food in the 21st century. It hasn’t caught up.

This is why emotional eating “works.” Emotional eating is not enjoying food, it is enjoying the feeling derived from food. The fats, salts and sugars that are so prominent in the processed foods we buy regularly are, essentially, a method of self-medication. No, really: if fat and salt from the animal curbed the hunger – thereby curbing the stress – and sugar only temporarily curbed the hunger (because man needed fat and salt)… then the way we use those three in food today to “cure” stress is a form of using a legal substance for the unintended purpose of making us feel better emotionally.

Enjoying eating is about the experience you derive from the meal. It includes your company – even if you are by yourself, you are in excellent company – and your conversation. Eating emotionally is about hiding from a very prominent problem in your food. Something – whatever it is – that causes you stress or trauma all day… causes you to go hide in an entire pint of ice cream (which, if I’m not mistaken, is usually four servings.) Add to that the fact that you very well might scarf the entire thing down? That’s 800 calories. If you’re calorie counting, that can be anywhere from a half to a third of your day’s intake just off of emotional eating alone.

Emotional eating is a problem.. because it causes a cycle of self-hate. If we DO scarf down the entire pint, then we hate ourselves for not having any self-control, thereby not only adding more pressure to ourselves… but demeaning our own self-worth because it’s one more thing we don’t have and can’t do. In reality, emotional eating doesn’t even foster a healthy enjoyment of food – not only do you “hate yourself” after a binge session, but you start to hate that which “did this to you”… the food.

Learning how to enjoy a dining experience overpowers what emotional eating can do for you. It gives you a lifetime of good feelings to look back on and smile. Emotional eating gives you maybe 20 minutes to willfully avoid addressing a problem, only to revert back to anger or sadness once the “high” comes down. Recognize which one you truly want and need, and start moving in the direction to obtain it.

Are you an emotional eater? Do you know which situations trigger bouts of binging for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

PS: Show a little love by voting for me in the Black Weblog Awards for Best Health or Wellness Blog category! That’s right – BGG2WL is a finalist thanks to you! Let’s do what we can to bring it home!

The Difference Between Enjoying Eating and Emotional Eating is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. What, Exactly, Is Emotional Eating?
2. Telling A Tale of Stress and Emotional Eating
3. Q&A Wednesday: Dealing With Emotional Eating

The FULL list of meal plans is currently available. Check it out and get your copy today!

Get BGG2WL delivered wirelessly to your Kindle! Click here for more info!

© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 14 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: coping skills, emotional eating, enjoying eating, fat, salt, stress, sugar

, Black Girl’s Guide To Weight Loss will be explaining calorie counting, and ways to win the war. This is post 3 of the series – post 1, Defining The Basics of Calorie Counting, can be found here. Comments are always welcomed, and questions will always be answered to the best of my ability.

Keeping in mind those constants that I listed in the first installment, head over to this page and enter your information. It’ll tell you your estimated Body Mass Index (or BMI) – I know, cringeworthy, right? – as well as an estimated value for how many calories your body burns in a 24 hour time period. Then head over to this page, and do the same. Compare the two values for your daily calorie expenses, and take the lower of the values. Hold on to that number. Now, do a food journal for one day. Don’t try to eat “better” than you usually do.. just write down a day’s worth of what you’re eating. No calorie values yet.. just merely what you’re eating. During the next day (’cause doing it the same day just might depress you), sit down and google the caloric values of the foods you’re eating. Make sure you’re sitting in a leveled chair when you do… because you might just tip over.

Compare the number of calories your body burns in a 24 hour period to the amount of calories you took in during a 24 hour period. Think about the days you’ve eaten more than you did the day you wrote everything down. Think about the foods you might’ve intentionally left off the list as a means of cushioning your ego. Think about how often you eat more than what you wrote down. Is it pretty darn often? Think about the days where you eat nothing but fast food. Is your calorie count up near the 3,000s? Is it IN the 3,000s?

Setting the goal

Going back to that calorie count… take a look at that number you came up with. Weight loss is about creating a deficit – more calories burned than taken in. If you’re maintaining the weight you’ve put on, it’s because this deficit doesn’t exist. You’re either nor burning enough calories, or you’re eating too many calories. Having said that, if you create a deficit of 500 calories a day (meaning, if you eat 500 calories less than you “usually” do), you will lose 1lb a week. Create a deficit of 1000 calories a day, you will lose 2lbs (1000 calories multiplied by 7 days a week: 1000 x 7 = 7000 divided by 3500 calories in one pound equals 2lbs.) If you create a deficit of 1000 calories, and burn 500 a day walking/running, you will lose 3lbs per week (1500 x 7 divided by 3500). I’m suuure you get my drift, right? The better you plan, the better you prepare, the more likely you are to succeed.

Be honest with yourself

I’ve read several books about scientific studies in relation to obesity and they tend to say, in short: “In efforts to attempt to track the eating habits of overweight and obese individuals, we gave them a journal to document their daily intake of food. Considering the number of methods used to monitor intake, it was easy to determine that overweight people were more likely to lie about not only what they’d eaten, but how much of it they’d eaten.”

I don’t mention that as a put down – I mention that because I know I did it, and didn’t even know it. It’s another method of consciousness. It’s also another reason to make SURE you’re being honest with yourself. It’s vital to know what you’re putting in your body, so that you know what kind of dragon you need to slay. Lying to yourself might save your ego, but it does nothing for the rest of you, especially your weight.

It’s ok to admit you have very little control over your eating habits – it’s ok to admit that your discipline might be lacking. There is an industry that makes billions off of your inability to control yourself, and they have millions invested in ensuring that you never get it. It’s ok to admit that this beast is on your back. This, here, will help you gain control… and it starts with being honest with yourself.

Looking for other posts in the Understanding Calorie Counting series? Check the links below!

• Understanding Calorie Counting: The Basics
• Understanding Calorie Counting: What is it? Calorie Counting Defined
• Understanding Calorie Counting: Creating Your Calorie Goal and Being Honest About It
• Understanding Calorie Counting: The Payoff – Why Am I Doing This To Myself?
• Understanding Calorie Counting: Preparing Yourself For Success
• Understanding Calorie Counting: A Final Word

Understanding Calorie Counting: Creating Your Calorie Goal and Being Honest About It is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. Understanding Calorie Counting: What is it? Calorie Counting Defined
2. Understanding Calorie Counting: Preparing Yourself For Success
3. Understanding Calorie Counting: The Payoff – Why Am I Doing This To Myself?

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 9 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: calorie counting, overeating

And do we see goals as public property and “small talk?” As complicated as my current goals are, I certainly don’t think I can talk about them in a conversation with people who are only slightly interested in me. I don’t say that to imply that people shouldn’t ask – I don’t mind that – but I do mean that perhaps we should be careful regarding how we discuss our goals and who we share them with.

Excerpted from Setting Goals: How, Why & Who Do You Tell? | A Black Girl’s Guide To Weight Loss

The more I talk to people about their personal goals with fitness and weight loss, the more I hear them tell me about how non-supportive their friends and loved ones are in them reaching their goals. They talk about how, once their loved ones learn of their desire to eat better, they find brownies and other irresistible sweets in the house all of a sudden. Now, they see their favorite cake on the dining room table as a centerpiece. Not flowers, not fake fruit (fake fruit?)… but a cake, man. Now that their girlfriends know that they’re trying to make better choices, they’re being put under the hot lights. They’re being given the third degree. They’re being asked the hard questions and, once they can’t give “the answers,” are told “girl, just shut up and eat this food… stop ordering all these salads.”

And all the while, while people are talking about this stuff, I just keep wondering to myself, why tell anyone anything?

If you’re starting on a journey that leaves you a bit confused and, just maybe, a little self-conscious, do you really think you could handle finding out that your peers and loved ones aren’t so supportive? And once they do show themselves to be non-supportive, do you think you could handle their acts of sabotage, should they choose to follow that path? If your answer is anything other than an emphatic yes, it might as well be “no.” Let me explain.

I remember when I first decided to give up red meat and pork, which was my junior year (I think?) of high school. I told my mom that I was planning to let go of the pork chops, the ham hocks, the ribs, the steaks, the burgers… all of it. It had to go. Considering how much she mad chicken, I figured I wouldn’t miss it much anyway, right?

Y’all. Before I knew it, every night… it was some kind of pork. It was ribs. It was roast. It was pork chops. It was bacon… every morning… bacon. House reeked of bacon (hence my general disdain for it – not because it’s “unclean,” just because I’ve been traumatized! Dang!) all the time, and it was inescapable. She was tryin’ to sabotage my efforts, man! Moms can, sometimes, take our efforts to change our eating habits (the eating habits we’ve developed from them) as an insult to them  – it implies that what they taught us was wrong, and that we reject what they passed down to us.

And what about our girls? When we go kick it with them, and we head out to eat before we go out for real… what happens when they notice that we’ve chosen something grilled instead of something fried (and usually in soybean oil… yuck?) Do we go in on how disgusting fried food is (by the way, it doesn’t have to be) and how you’re making healthier choices and losing weight by not eating it… thereby making them feel like garbage as the waiter drops their burger and fries in their laps? Do we tout our moral superiority for choosing the “better” option in the midst of temptation, thereby guilting your friends for not showing the same restraint as you?

If you ask me, I say no.

Now, I’ve written about this before – the fact that the people we spend the most time with can wind up feeling judged in a roundabout way by the decisions we make. And, let’s face it – we can’t always help that. Sometimes, that has more to do with insecurity than anything else:

I mean, think about it – when we hear a woman talk about how she doesn’t want “big thighs,” how many of us have looked at our own thighs and asked ourselves “What, is something wrong with big thighs? Do I have big thighs? She doesn’t like my thighs?” and it causes us to feel some kind of way about ourselves and the decisions we’ve made for ourselves. [source]

But how much do we contribute to this? Do we ruin perfectly good outings by explaining to our friends how “those cupcakes are why they can’t get rid of their gut?” Do we, out of eagerness to share what we know, piss off the people who love us the most by trying to invoke their “come-to-fitness” moment before they’re ready? You might think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not – I’ve heard the stories, and I’ve witnessed it myself.

I’m a proponent of the art of silence. Like, the way my shoulders shrug off questions? You’d think I was a politician. I don’t want my outings with friends and family to turn into conversations about my eating habits, where I might be mocked and weakened and feel compelled to make decisions I’d rather not, just to conform and make everyone else [except me] comfortable.

“Aww Erika, you don’t really even go out to restaurants anymore… why not get a burger or something?”

[insert slow shoulder shrug]

“Dang Erika, you’ve got to try those cookies Danielle brought in to work… why aren’t you getting any?”

[insert slow shoulder shrug]

“But Erika, you’ve eaten this way your whole life and you’re still alive! What makes you think the problem is the food, and not just you?”

[insert shoulder shrug] [waits a few moments] “Oh, did I show you my pedicure? It’s my favorite shade of pink, too…”

All three are things I’ve heard over the course of my journey. All three have answers that could easily add another 1,000+ words to this blog post to answer each question but really, my little shoulder shrug works wonderfully. Now, I’ve advocated for straight up lying to answer these questions but really… you’ve got to use that to progress onward to the point where you simply don’t answer these questions. It’s pretty hard to find a point of contention in your reasoning… when the only reason you give is a physical version of “I don’t know.”

It’s all about self-care. Know your abilities. Are you able to handle the questioning? If so, then proceed with caution. If not, then know that. It’s a part of your new lifestyle – venturing off into unique territory and knowing you have a whole new set of strengths and weaknesses to assess.

The reality is, the more attention you draw to your lifestyle changes, the more people you’re inviting in to tell you how wrong you are and how you should be following the advice they’ve read in Marie Claire this week… and if you’re on the path to building the confidence you need to keep going, you really don’t need the additional battles of defending your choices at every turn. You don’t need the extra task of sifting out the friends from the frenemies. Your focus simply needs to be on making the “new” into the “normal.” If someone asked you why you always take off your favorite pumps and put them back in the box once you got home – a habit you’d developed from Mom – you’d answer “I don’t know.. it’s what I’ve always done.” and go on to another topic. Start thinking about this with the same approach.

The goal, in the end, is to make your new lifestyle something that isn’t “new” and “novel” anymore. It isn’t a “sideshow” worthy of pointing, staring and dissecting. It’s just you. And while you may be total star material… this is not a reality show, you aren’t in OK! Magazine and your every move – namely, your choice in salad dressings – really doesn’t need this much attention. Just shrug your shoulders… it counts as an upper body work out if you do it enough, anyway.

The Art Of Silence is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

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Post tags: friendships, goals, relationships, sabotage

I’d said a long time ago that this doesn’t resonate well with me, especially since it’s not sustainable – who can give 300% forever without eventually becoming resentful and burning out? – but also because it’s unrealistic. If the end goal is for it a part of my every day life to be active, then I need to introduce that in ways that are flexible. Can’t get to the gym? What do I do?

My goal tree is much more about markers for success, because I strive to keep my goals in mind at all times. Every move I make, I make it with my goals in mind. It’s not in an obsessive fashion, it’s in a mindful fashion – every step I take has to move me closer to my goals, and if it would impede my progress in any way, it simply has to be set aside. It’s not a matter of deprivation when you simply understand that there are goals you want to achieve more than you want to eat that doughnut or skip that gym.

But how do you satisfactorily convince yourself that you don’t want that doughnut more than you want to achieve your goals? My personal belief – at least, this is how I approach it – is that whenever I intentionally do something that might get in the way of me achieving my goals, even though I know I want to make progress and I want to go to the gym instead of hide in my bedroom, I’m sabotaging myself. Plain and simple. And, while it’s easy to handle external sources of sabotage, how do you deal with sabotage that comes from within yourself? Not like you can divorce yourself, put yourself out of your house, stop taking your own phone calls…. you can’t do any of that. But what can you do?

The almost-hubby sent me this article, as a means of supporting me through getting beyond my own struggle, but I think it’s valuable to have, here:

This morning I stepped out of bed and into the view of a mirror. I thought, “Oh my God, I’m so fat” and then threw on some clothes thinking, “Hide it. Hide.” Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror a second time stopped the negative talk. My face struck me as sad, fearful, and ashamed. It shocked me. I don’t normally think of myself as sad, fearful or ashamed, and yet there it was, evident as the written word all over my frowning face.

Wow. First thing in the morning and my brain is writing horror stories. I wonder why I still feel trapped in judgment and negativity. I left my abuser almost two years ago. Will this cycle of hating/liking myself ever end?

According to neuroscience, the answer to that question is entirely within my control. Hallelujah! Yes, the abusive cycle recurring in my own mind will end.

In class, we’re learning that neurons in the brain do not have to die, nor do we cease the ability to grow new neurons with age. This is important because the neurons in our brains create information hubs of a sort. Thoughts (encoded as electrical impulses) travel from neuron to neuron depending on our memories (where they’re located) and how we’ve thought in the past (what paths are currently available). The great thing about growing new neurons is that, if we practice, we can reroute our old thinking pathways into entirely new ways of thinking.

In short, by forcing myself to think in new ways, my brain will form new thinking paths and use them instead of the old, negative and abusive ones I’m using today.

If you think I’m wrong, consider the person who had a stroke three years ago, losing all control over his right arm. He considered amputating his arm because it only got in his way. Then he heard that it may be possible to re-learn how to use that arm and decided to participate in the therapy offered. A year later, he can use his right arm completely.

According to PBS’s show “The Secret Life of the Brain”, that man created new neural pathways to allow his recovery. He sweated and concentrated on using his arm, and, over time, his brain responded by growing new neurons and creating new pathways for thought.

If a formerly paralyzed stroke victim can grow new ways to think and affect his physical movement, then I can grow new ways to think and affect my mental and emotional condition.

First, I’ll believe that I can change my thinking patterns. Belief is possibly the best predictor of success. Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.” If I can think it and believe it, then I can do it. If I only think it then neglect to believe it, there’s no success.

Second, I’ll picture new pathways forming in my brain where there were none before. I’ll imagine them growing and connecting to positive memories and experiences. I’ll practice thinking good things about myself while picturing these pathways as they form. I’ll do this for 10 minutes every day, five in the morning and five minutes at night.

I tried picturing these new pathways for one minute just now, and it was really tough. I swear, I began to feel sweaty. But a stroke victim in the PBS video sweated as he flipped dominoes because he was thinking so hard, so I’ll take the perspiration as a sign that I’m on the right track.

Third, I will post sticky notes around my house. This is an old trick that maybe you’ve tried with affirmations in the past. (I did, then ended up letting the notes fall to the floor because I was so tired of sensing they did not work for me!) But these sticky notes will be simple pictures that look similar to this:

When I see this picture, I will think of one positive thing. It can be about me or someone I love or about the weather…doesn’t matter so long as its positive and I believe it. Then I will imagine that thought traveling through my brain in the most efficient path possible. I will spend maybe two seconds imagining the positive thought’s path, then go about my business. [source]

(Sounds real “The Secret-y,” doesn’t it?) But this is how things like vision boards work. This is how things like goal trees work. Any visual representation of your goals…

I think this article, in relation to the internal dialogue that leads us to act for the moment (skipping the gym or eating unnecessarily) instead of being focused on our goals, is important. In my own case, I have to make new, fresh connections to being out and about on my own in a new body. Hell, the body I have is still pretty new… but that’s beside the point.

When I shared, a few months ago, that motivation is something that can only be achieved on the inside – inspiration can compel you to feel inspired, but you still have to find that motivation to move even when the inspiration is long gone and forgotten – people were dumbfounded.

I clicked on this hoping to be, inspired. I wasn’t. Read more of the same. Its in you. You have to do it. Your health, better you. And I’m still not motivated or driven to do better. [...] People talk about getting over it like it just comes overnight. It doesn’t. I know. I’ve tried and failed…so now what. What’s the motivation to eat a carrot stick, celery and water when the body, like an addict’s, is screaming, begging and pushing to eat/drink sugar, salt and so on. What suggestions are there for the drive to combat that? [source]

Motivation is an active choice within you to get up and get it done. Motivation is entirely mental, and I think this idea of needing to create new pathways that connect the action and activity to the achievements we desire is important. Addressing the self sabotage by developing a new internal dialogue which allows for the motivation that can let us make decisions that focus more on our goals? That’s how you do it.

I said, before, that you can’t wait to feel motivated to do what you know you’ve got to do…but I now realize that I should add to that. I still believe you have to move regardless of how you feel about it, but if you don’t feel that compulsion to contribute to your goals, you should ask yourself why. Asking myself why is how I came to the conclusion that I did about myself and my eating habits, and it’s also how I was able to devote so much effort to overcoming that.

I believe this was a huge part of how I stay on top of my game with my former emotional eating habit. I’m constantly reinforcing for myself that, no matter how stressed out or sad I may be, nothing is ever solved with a cookie. That has made it easier for me to turn down sweets, snacks and anything else. I don’t connect the junk food to anything beneficial to me other than an enjoyable taste, and even then, thanks to clean eating, I’ve learned that most of these things taste like crap, anyway. It’s far easier to turn down something you see as merely “an enjoyable taste” as opposed to seeing it as “something vital and necessary for the betterment of my well being before I go and cut my boss.”

Defeating emotional eating is, in a lot of ways, all about this process. Defeating sabotaging behavior in general is all about this process. When you figure out what the problem is, you start to devise your solution… and it takes a lot of self-affirmation, a lot of self-awareness and a lot of self-care. There are lots of people in the world who go into weight loss like a diver into the water – nose first, focused, driven, determined to get to the end. Those of us who aren’t, more often than not have to go through this process of breaking down the negative connotations we’ve associated with doing what we need to do to succeed, as well as make new connections that help us put our goals and our fit-minded selves into perspective.

Lots of people cringe at the thought of “constant” awareness, but I believe it gets easier as you make your way through this process. At least, it did for me before, and I’m betting it will for me again, moving forward.

Thoughts?

Self-Sabotage, Internal Dialogue, Motivation And Focusing On Your Goals is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. My Re-Dedication And My Goal Tree: How Do You Manage Your Goals?
2. Setting Goals: How, Why & Who Do You Tell?
3. Q&A Wednesday: Hey Erika, What Are Your Goals?

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Post tags:

I never verbally stated how much I needed to lose, I’d only say that I needed to lose weight. I never publicly addressed my weight. Not like it was “anyone’s business” anyway but in public conversations about health, I kept a very quiet seat. I don’t know if it was because I had nothing intelligent to add to the conversation (as I was, admittedly, clueless about my health) or if it was because I didn’t want to be caught dead participating in a conversation about health and weight loss. Actually, I do know. I was embarrassed.

The one person I would always take my weight loss issues to… well, let’s just say she had a habit of mocking my thighs, calling them “elephant legs.” This only resulted in me hiding up in my corner – not wanting to burden my closest loved ones with my whining about my weight, not wanting to let anyone know that I publicly acknowledge and admit this weakness I have. This…. problem… that I can’t quite wrap my brain around.

I’m still not sure if I was “faking it ’til I learned how to make it,” to be honest. I know that I wrote about this before, but I disassociated myself from the notion that I needed to value myself based on my outer appearance because I was doing so many amazing (tooting my own horn, thank you very much) things in my community. It allowed me to develop a healthy sense of self-esteem and self-worth without letting one of those 386,170 unhelpful things get in the way of me developing a healthy understanding of who I am and what I could contribute to my world.

Think about that, though – American society, apparently, hits us with 386,170 messages in one year that being overweight means you have a problem. You are the problem.

Just look at this:

I chose a typical day – I went to the grocery store, I was on the internet for business and for personal surfing, I drove for a couple of hours with the radio on.  I was on Facebook and Livejournal.  I don’t watch regular TV (with commercials) so there is none of that.  I purposefully didn’t go to any websites that were specifically about weight or weight loss, any comments that I read were attached to news stories that had nothing to do with weight or weight loss (for example, unprovoked what I can only call  fat bashing abounded on articles about healthcare legislation that had nothing to do with weight).  I only included examples that stated things outright (so I did not include, for example, magazines with page after page of thin models, even though I think that sends a  pretty strong message that thin is the only body type that is beautiful). Examples are only counted in one category.

• Messages stating that it is impossible to be healthy at my weight:  217

• Messages stating that my weight makes me unattractive:  123

• Messages stating that I am lazy and don’t exercise/don’t exercise enough, lack will power, or am not “in control”:  311

• Messages stating that I need to reach a specific BMI to be healthy:  36

• Messages stating that I am a drain on the health care system:  116

• Messages stating that I have poor eating habits:  84

• Messages suggesting that I should be “repulsed by my weight” [used those words specifically]: 19

• Messages calling me a derisive name:  152

• Messages saying something positive about people with large bodies:  3

• Messages that specifically shouted down those 3 positive comments: 231 (these are included in the categories above so they are not added into the total below)

Let’s review:

• Total messages about my body:  1061

• Total negative messages:  1058

• Total positive messages:  3

• About 353 negative message for each positive message.

If we extrapolate, I have been receiving:

• 7406 negative messages about my body each week

• 31,740 negative messages about my body each  month

• 386,170 negative messages about my body each year

[source]

Is it hard to fathom that someone like me, arguably almost 200lbs overweight, would intentionally avoid participating in conversations about health – not my health, but health in general – because I know that most of society looks at me through a fatophobic lens? Do I feel like they’d devalue my opinion, since I “obviously don’t know much?” Don’t they know how unhelpful this is, or do my feelings not matter because I don’t matter?

But see.. I have questions, in hindsight, about my perspective and how it affected me, too. I think about all the events and opportunities I passed up during my college years – things that might’ve helped me learn or be healthier – because I was afraid of being caught dead in the area. (Keeping it 100% real, I hated being seen in the gym, too.) “Oh yeah, I saw Erika at the Health Expo, with her fat ass.” I mean yeah, that’s young-minded for me to make decisions based off of that, but it’s equally young-minded to be adult women who make statements like that about others. So, I’m sayin’. We’re all reduced to gossipy self-conscious teenagers at one point in time or another if we allow ourselves to play this game.

I guess what I’m getting at is, I know that I was someone who was conscious of those messages that told me I’m “less than” because I’m not a swimsuit model. I wanted answers, but I was too embarrassed to do any asking. It felt like asking was a public admission that I am that person that those 386,170 things were about. Mind you, I am now someone who places a different value on society’s “messages,” but that’s because I have answers, now. Having those answers empowered me to think differently, and having a positive environment devoid of judgmental and negative messages allowed me to learn.

So, again, all I have at this point are questions. If we’re receiving all of these negative messages about our bodies, do people hide from or ignore their health as a means of “wearing a shield?” Do we contribute to a hostile environment (on either end) where we can’t have beneficial conversations about health with all these negative messages? And if you’re like me, are/were you embarrassed by being publicly concerned about your health? Do you think that your desire to “not be caught dead” at the gym/talking about self-care prevents you from advancing?

Admitting The Desire To Lose Weight: Does It Affect Self-Esteem? is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. “Weight Loss Is For People With Low Self-Esteem”
2. 5 Reasons Why You Won’t Lose Weight
3. Q&A Wednesday: I’m Desperate To Lose Weight! Help?!

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 11 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: fatophobia, negative messages, society

Puns are never intended. I promise.

It was relieving, but it was also important. Identifying and acknowledging the problem, as well as accepting that the problem exists is a key element to being able to solve the problem. I cannot address what I refuse to see. I learned that the hard way when I first began to address my emotional eating. Taking this path has proven to be successful for me, so I’m going to keep at it.

In deciding that I wanted to move forward with becoming a personal trainer, I also decided that I wanted to have a far more toned, fit, pillar-of-perfectionesque body. Basically, what I was working towards before I moved. I’d definitely call the issues with the harassment a derail – that’s a gross simplification, but still – but luckily, I didn’t gain weight. I wasn’t emotionally eating, and my caloric intake was stable, so I didn’t gain. My body definitely changed with the lack of weight lifting and pole dancing (my apartment is FAR too small for a long-legged lady like myself, not to mention the ceilings are far too high for me to put up my pole), but I’m okay with that. It’s what happens when you neglect your commitment. You begin to lose the muscle you worked hard for in the first place.

It’s frustrating, and it sucks, but it happens.

I’m approaching this all as a brand-spankin’ new start. It’s essentially where I was back in 2009, when I realized that I was an emotional eater. I had a problem that was holding me back, I needed to address it and find ways to get around it while I plotted out how I intended to defeat it, and I have real progress I want to make both mentally and physically. I know this path, I’ve traveled it before, and after learning that I can succeed this way, I’m convinced that I can do it again. I don’t know how much of it I will blog, but I think keeping a record of this is best for me.

My first start is to set my goals firmly in place, and I’m going to do that with a goal tree… at least, that’s what I’ve been calling it.

It looks a lot like a family tree, starting with my overall final goal at the top. Take my sample, for example:

At the top, you might see something that says “become the fit Oprah.” Not sayin’ that Oprah ain’t fit, but that Oprah’s empire isn’t fitness-centered. I’m not tryin’ to shade the almighty Queen. Pardon me while I bow.

But the next question, after that, should be how do I do that? That’s what those first bubbles attached to the sides are – two ways that I’ve identified that can help me achieve those goals. (And, no, that doesn’t say “put a hit out on Gayle.” Stop squinting your eyes.)

There are multiple ways to approach my goal – and all of them need to be addressed – but the one I’m focusing on, in the middle, says “tighten up, toots!” which is the one branch of my goal tree that was negatively affected by my newly-developed hermitness. Now that I’m fully tackling it head on, I had to figure out my plan of action.

Instead of settling in on losing weight, I’m focusing more on burning fat. That way, I’m not out here losing muscle and thinking it’s okay because I’m still “losing weight.” Therefore, I’m working on modifying my body fat percentage. By focusing on the amount of fat my body carries in comparison to the amount of actual important and legitimate stuff there is, I can cheer on my muscle development as well as my fat loss and be pleased. I plan to do these by staying on top of my food intake – which, c’mon, I’m an all-star at this, baby – while staying on top of my yoga for stress relief, hitting the weights as well as training for my first big race.

Because I have two goals that could potentially run counter to one another – getting back to my pre-injury running ability and building muscle – I have to keep my running light, but still effective for training. I’m not trying to kill myself out on someone’s track.

The basic gist of this, is that you keep on branching out your goal tree until you have spelled out, for yourself, in basic bare bones how to accomplish every goal on your list. In other words, it helps you plan. If you want to lose 5% of your body’s weight in fat, then you’ve given yourself five ways of checking your barometer for success. Did you stay on top of your yoga practice and relieve stress? Did you hit the gym as often as you wrote down? Did you stay on top of your clean eating? Are you lifting like you said you would? If not, and you aren’t progressing towards your goal, then you’ve got an immediate response as to why that’s happening.

Though I have plans to blog about internal dialoguing tomorrow, I do want to say that there is a mental aspect of this that’s required to make it work – it means that your goals have to be front and center in your mind non-stop. Every step you take has to be a step that will help you accomplish your goals.

Yes, even at work. How can you manage stress if you’re out here messing up at work and borderline getting fired?

I don’t think this method is for everyone, though, because some people benefit more from having those deadlines by which to reach x amount of pounds lost, but I find that that doesn’t work too well for those of us who are trying to commit (or, as it were, recommit) to a new lifestyle. That being said, I’ve got to ask: how do you set up your goals, and how do you keep track of your progress?

My Re-Dedication And My Goal Tree: How Do You Manage Your Goals? is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. Vogue Shows Us How Not To Manage Our Children’s Weight… Or Project Our Insecurities Onto Them
2. Self-Sabotage, Internal Dialogue, Motivation And Focusing On Your Goals
3. Setting Goals: How, Why & Who Do You Tell?

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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If I buy it, I WILL eat it... so the trick is to... not buy it?

Here’s something that might come as a “duh,” but I don’t think I’ve ever thought of it within this context before:

The easier it is to acquire something, the more likely I am to eat it… and eat a lot of it.

When my house was full of quick heat-n-eats, it was beyond easy for me to eat whenever I thought about food. All it took was a passing thought about something in the fridge, and before I knew it – it was in the microwave. It was in the oven. I was eating… until I felt stuffed.

It was quick. It was easy. It was overwhelming. And it all happened in under 20 minutes.

That’s why it’s so advantageous for companies to make food even quicker and even easier to cook… you get little time during the process to second-guess your decision to eat. Very little time to ask yourself, “Am I really hungry? Do I really want this? Should I wait?” And if it’s in your house already… you’re pretty much setting yourself up to lose.

For someone like me, who spends a large amount of time in an area with a kitchen and a refridgerator… I had to realize that the easier I made it to eat, the more likely it is that I would, in fact, eat. And because those “easier-to-eat foods” aren’t – by any stretch of the imagination – healthy for us, the more that I ate… the more that I was harming myself. The more of these foods that I ate, the more likely it was that I wasn’t actually filling myself at all… compelling myself to eat more:

Our processed foods are broken down to their most basic parts, mixed in with preservatives (which help, you know, preserve the final product), flavor additives, water, flour, various forms of salt, then manipulated to be whatever they want to sell us. The same ground up chicken carcass (which is what is in that photo) can be chicken patties, chicken nuggets, chicken fingers, “diced chicken,” the chicken in your chicken pot pie, the chicken in your soup… whatever. Just look for “mechanically separated [animal] parts.” You won’t have to look too hard.

Once it’s broken down to create this… goo… chemicals are used to hold it in place to form whatever shape it’s going to take. Once it meets your saliva and enters your body, it breaks right back down to the goo… with no fiber inside to help push it out. It essentially deflates inside of your system, making it easier to consume more calories because you’re “not full yet.” Couple all of this with the fact that it takes approximately 20 minutes for your brain to get the signal from your digestive system that you’re “full,” and you start to see why a food that breaks down this quickly is a recipe for disaster – a breaded chicken breast on wheat bread breaks down much more slowly than a chicken patty sandwich on white bread, takes longer to chew (buying you time until that 20 minute mark… see what that 30 bites was important?), takes longer to digest (thus leaving you feeling fulfilled longer), and keeps you from overindulging. [source]

We are creatures of habit. We also are hard-wired to want to make things easier for ourselves. (I imagine this is also why so many of us dread the idea of working out – who wants to struggle and work hard and sweat all day every day?) There’s nothing wrong with innovating to make things easier for ourselves. The problem comes when that “easy way out” actually creates more problems than it solves. The problem comes when “easy” morphs into “damaging.”

I’ve written about how I make clean eating easier in my day to day life. I would pre-cook things. I’d pre-prep things. I spend a half hour each week chopping, grating, organizing, rinsing, freezing and soaking. In a sense, I’ve already bypassed most of the cooking process at this point – I’ve made my own processed foods, so to speak. I’ve made it easier for me to make healthier choices, if I’m going to be overtaken by the quick “Hmmm, I want some food because I’m bored” feeling. Now, I’m eating a cucumber dill sandwich (maybe 220 calries) instead of a handful of taquitos and sour cream (approximately 627 calories).

Luckily, for me, because I eat so often… I don’t really think about food because I know it’s coming. It’s to the point for me that now, I’m not overtaken by that eating-out-of-boredom or eating-because-I’m-starving thing. I eat when it’s time… because it’s time. For me, because I’ve learned how to make quick and easy full-bodied veggie snacks – even spent a while eating giant heads (and stalks) of broccoli to snack on – I don’t even bother pre-cooking or pre-prepping things anymore. I enjoy the process and, because it is now a priority to me, I don’t mind making time for it each day. I know dishes that take ten minutes to throw together, and I know dishes that take an hour to put together. I just make sure that I pick appropriately.

There’s a psychological aspect to this, too – from the moment we put an item in our cart, we’ve triggered a chain of events. If the food has adequate amounts of sugar, fat and salt… it has triggered that chain in our system that becomes excited (because the brain knows what’s coming), followed by sitting at home and staring at it all in your face every time you enter the kitchen/open the fridge/peek in the freezer, followed by the repeated effort you have to put forth to say “Nooooooooooooo you will not win this time!!” and lastly followed up by you diving in head first… and the longer the process takes to complete itself, the more you are likely to eat. That kind of pre-meditation (the process of thinking about the food, then saying no to it) creates an expectation… and you’ll eat and eat and eat the food until it has lived up to the expectation you had of it. (This seems to be especially true of ice cream… at least, in my experience. Just sayin’.)

This is why, for me, it is especially important for me to be careful of what I keep within my reach and what I allow myself to access. Like, sure… I may pick up something I know I have noooooo business having, and I’ll stare at it for a minute and try to justify buying it… but the end of the process isn’t me buying it and agonizing over it at home. The end of the process is me – literally – putting it back on its shelf, doing a little dance, and walking away. (This, again, seems to be especially true of ice cream. Needless to say, I don’t go in the ice cream aisle anymore.)

All of this is to say… convenience makes it easier for us to do things we know we shouldn’t, so even when we’re buying with the best of intentions in mind, sometimes we’re still setting ourselves up. There’s nothing wrong with saying “I can’t do it.. so I won’t.” and putting it back where it belongs. To me, there’s nothing wrong with stopping this cycle dead in its tracks and throwing away something we know we shouldn’t have purchased in the first place. I seek to be aware of my limitations and respect them, or use them to my advantage. Except for the ice cream… y’all better hope I never figure out how to make mint chocolate chip ice cream from scratch. Good grief.

The Trouble With Convenience is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. The Trouble With Genetically Engineered Foods, Revisited

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Post tags: mentality, processed foods

Food cravings are a normal part of life; after all, who hasn’t at some point found herself staring into the freezer, ready to eat more than just a few scoops of that mint chocolate chip ice cream? While the occasional “crave-in” isn’t a big deal, if it happens regularly, it can lead to weight gain, not to mention a slew of other health problems including headaches, bloating and feeling downright blech. Though you may not be able to curb your food cravings entirely (in my book, spinach and celery will never satisfy a hankering for chocolate or chips), understanding what causes them can help you develop a realistic plan for dealing with them.

Blame it on the brain. A few good theories explain what’s going on. One is that eating sugar, fat and salt triggers the release of dopamine, a feel-good brain chemical that can also make you want to eat when you’re not really hungry. Over time, the mere sight or smell of certain foods is enough to make your brain say “Gimme!” This wouldn’t be a problem if we ate foods high in sugar, fat or salt (or all three) as rare treats, but due to their increased production, availability and visibility, that desire to eat is constantly being triggered, suggests David Kessler, MD, former commissioner of the Food and Drug Administration, in his book The End of Overeating.

Certain types of foods also leave behind a sensory imprint. Once our brains experience the feel-good effects of dopamine when we eat those foods, we always associate the two— and this could also explain why some of us turn to food to deal with negative emotions.

…and hormones. Feeling like you absolutely must have certain foods during “that time of the month” is not all in your head, especially if you suffer from premenstrual syndrome (PMS) or premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD, a severe form of PMS). Both conditions are marked by a decrease in serotonin, another mood-boosting brain chemical that responds favorably to—you guessed it—carbs! And that can make muffins, chips and cookies feel like a girl’s best friend. We can also be cranky and emotional during this time of the month, which typically magnifies comfort food cravings (for me, it’s ice cream).

One thing that doesn’t cause cravings: nutrient deficiencies. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard women say they need to eat that chocolate because they’re low in magnesium or they’ve got to have a juicy burger because they need more iron. Sorry to disappoint, but science has never been able to show a connection between nutrient deficiencies and cravings.

So… how do you handle them?

Craving Cures
Now it’s time to plan an intervention.

1. Turn off the dopamine. Let’s start with Dr. Kessler’s theory that junk food being easily accessible is to blame. He says (and I agree) that by avoiding highly processed foods that are packed with fat, sugar and salt, we can derail the overproduction of dopamine that happens when you taste, see and smell these foods. The best way to do this is to mainly shop the perimeter of your supermarket, where you’ll find fresh foods. When you do choose packaged foods, go for items that have the shortest ingredients list possible; the fewer ingredients, the less processed it is.

Also try to avoid situations that stimulate your senses and lead to mindless eating. Some triggers—especially emotional ones like stress—are hard to avoid, but others just require a little planning. Here’s how to manage common craving-inducing scenarios:

a. You’re around goodies at the office. Choose one treat to enjoy, but save it for later in the day (not before lunch!). This way, you don’t open the floodgates and nibble on junk for the rest of the day. If the treats are in your direct line of sight, ask if you can move them into the office kitchen (or as far from your desk as possible!) so they’re not staring you down all day.

b. You’re throwing a birthday party for your husband and are making his (and your!) favorite foods. Squash the desire to nosh while you cook with positive self-talk before you get started (I will not lick the batter, I will not lick the batter) and distract your taste buds by sipping on herbal tea or a skim latte. You can also keep your mouth busy by chomping on crunchy raw veggies like carrots or sugar snap peas. For me, a stick of sweet mint gum and singing along to a CD does the trick!

2. Picture this, not that. Research shows that replacing the mental image of the food you’re craving with a nonfood one, such as a Caribbean beach (minus the piña colada!) can help quash the desire to eat it. In other words, if you walk past a bakery and want that slice of double-chocolate fudge cake, imagine relaxing on the beach or dial up a friend on your cell phone. Good chance the cake urge will dissipate.

3. Eat to beat them. The best way to tame carb cravings is to incorporate healthy carbs such as vegetables, fruit and whole grains into your meals and snacks. This can help regulate the production of serotonin, so take particular care to do this around your period, when serotonin levels may be low. High-quality “comfort carbs” that can also help quell hormone-induced cravings include bean burritos, baby carrots dipped in hummus, whole-wheat penne tossed with marinara sauce, hearty vegetable soups and stews, and a bowl of warm oatmeal topped with fresh fruit.

4. Don’t forget the basics. One of the biggest triggers for those “I gotta eat that!” urges is skipping meals. The most important thing you can do to prevent chronic cravings is to establish a regular eating pattern that includes breakfast, lunch, dinner and one or two snacks.

If you tend to skip one or more of these meals, try including them for one week. I bet you’ll find that you eat less at each meal, choose healthier options and have fewer cravings.

5. If all else fails… Of course, there are times in which you’ve called a friend, crunched on carrot sticks and still found yourself dead-set on digging into a pint of ice cream. In those instances, I find it’s best not to reach for a substitute food, like rice cakes instead of potato chips, because chances are you’ll eat too many of them, or you’ll eat them and then have the real thing anyway. Double whammy!

Thoughts? Let’s hear ‘em!

Joy Bauer: Eat To Beat Your Food Cravings is a post from: A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Thanks for reading!

Related posts:

1. A Few Thoughts on Cravings, Deprivation and Indulging
2. Q&A Thursday: Aunt Flo’ And The Cravings
3. Q&A Wednesday: Menstrual Cravings & Defeating The Sugar Demon

The FULL list of meal plans is currently available. Check it out and get your copy today!

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© Erika for A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss, 2012. | Permalink | 17 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: cravings, joy bauer, today show, woman's day